Who We Are

I’m disabled from multiple traumatic brain injuries. These injuries have basically reset all my social skills and this created a lot of social anxiety. Not only have these courses retaught me about my social skills, they are superior to the regular skills you develop in most people regular everyday life. I perform better socially now than I did before my injuries.

In addition to taking your course, I’ve become a member of several groups on Meetup, which has expanded my social contacts tremendously. As a result of your courses I feel a lot more confident in these situations which have definitely helped me to meet new people that also like to participate in activities that I enjoy.

Before your course I was so overwhelmed with anxiety, I wouldn’t even consider joining a group like this but your course has helped me to overcome this and I’m sure I will see continuing results as I meet more people and have more opportunities to apply the skills.

So, I have autism. I can hide it in some situations, and do pretty well. But I always was missing the little rules, the ones you don’t HAVE to know for every conversation. The connectors, if you know what I mean. This class spoke about the unspoken rules, and gave PRACTICAL steps to learn them.

I’d just been through a traumatic experience that made me fear most people, and led to full-on panic attacks with freezing in public and more multiple times. A fairly dramatic negative impact on my life. This led to me nearly quitting medical school in my last year.

Following the “homework” from Social Self was hard, but doable even for me. But did it work? Well, one activity was asking people for the time in public for an hour or so, until it wasn’t as scary. Then redo it 3x/week. The science behind it is pretty cool. More cool, though: I reduced my fear of people by about 40% in a month and a half.

That put me below the panic attack threshold, and allowed me to graduate.

So yes. It worked.

I’d recommend reading Atomic Habits at the same time, and making a habit of one new thing you learn here every two weeks or so.

I am not a millionaire, but I do have better relationships, more confidence, and did NOT ask for the refund I had planned to while typing in my credit card info. Thank you!

I have struggled with social anxiety my whole life. I have avoided making connections with people. And it has resulted in me not having any friends.

After a year of practicing my social skills through your exercises, I have noticed that I don’t get as anxious when talking to new people anymore. I also talk slower and don’t blush anymore. At work, I provide better customer service. Your courses have made me a little bit better. There is still so much more to improve on. And I can’t wait to fully get rid of my social anxiety.

I purchased the course with not much faith into it. But halfway through I started enjoying it but even seeing improvements within myself. This is an awesome course that takes you step by step on achieving your goals. Definitely recommend!!!!!

I completed the course and found it to be incredibly valuable. It covered a wide range of topics, including effective communication, active listening, body language, and building rapport with others. David is knowledgeable and engaging, and the course materials were well-organized and easy to follow. Through a combination of lectures and videos, I was able to develop new skills and improve my existing ones.

Overall, I highly recommend this course to anyone looking to enhance their social skills and improve their interactions with others

I completed the course and found it to be incredibly valuable. It covered a wide range of topics, including effective communication, active listening, body language, and building rapport with others. David is knowledgeable and engaging, and the course materials were well-organized and easy to follow. Through a combination of lectures and videos, I was able to develop new skills and improve my existing ones.

Overall, I highly recommend this course to anyone looking to enhance their social skills and improve their interactions with others.

Well, I used to be very quiet, and whenever it was possible I would nod or shake my head to answer every question where it was possible, and, I’m not joking, I’d start to sob because of how anxious I was. It was the most extreme case of social anxiety.

But now I actually look forward to social events, I get excited about meeting new people and I have made a lot of friends whereas before I’d had absolutely none. I basically feel no anxiety whatsoever in social situations now. My life has changed. Words cannot describe how grateful I am for your advice. Thank you so much

I used to feel like I couldn’t be myself and people would find me weird. Now I am proud of who I am and find that people admire my sense of self-knowing. To be more specific, I stopped overthinking what I do and say, and tried to focus more on other people. I also pushed myself to enter and prolong conversations. This came in handy at a family wedding this year, and I had an amazing time!

Before I used to be confused as to how to interact in conversation with others. I would worry and have difficulties in conversation. Now I understand how to talk to others without interrupting and being present. I understand how to reach out to others. I enjoy being myself more in conversation.

It was a great course that helped me to break the ice. Things seem to be so natural now. I couldn’t see the way through before. Thank you

I feel that the course does what it sets out to do, and that is to help you become more confident socially and to get you out of the headspace that you cannot have any social prowess or confidence.

I think David and Viktor do a good job of making the course very down to earth and making it simple and easy to understand and practice. It’s not like other courses or people who try to scam you or who have only a vague idea of what they’re talking about. They’re here to help, they’ve been through the struggle, and they found a way out. They want to share that with people and they do. They do it well.

I used to not know what to say to other people in awkward silences but now I at least have some lines I can go to to get the ball rolling. I also know it helps to make eye contact, even if it may feel uncomfortable to me. It helps to show that you’re trying to engage with the person and want to talk with them. As opposed to not making eye contact and showing them (through body language) that you don’t want to interact. It shows that you’re friendly and open for conversation.

I am thankful to have taken the course, even if I haven’t completed it in full. I think the course sets out to help people like me, and does so excellently.

Before I discovered the SocialSelf website programs I was socially and emotionally isolated for over 34.5 years, and I suffered extreme loneliness.

I battled depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, low self-worth, substance abuse….I was the poster child for loneliness until I discovered your website…..

Your website and programs have literally saved my life, and have been able to continually grow my support network and support others because of the work both you, Viktor and the team over at SocialSelf.

Sure, I’ve had some bumps along the road, and recently discovered my ADHD but I’m eternally grateful for your website and what it’s helped me accomplish in my life, and now I’m on my way to be able to live the life I’ve always wanted.

I used to struggle with socializing and felt uncomfortable in social settings. However, after taking this course, I feel like a completely different person. I’m now able to initiate conversations and contribute to group discussions with ease.

One of the most valuable things I learned was how to approach people without coming off as needy. The course taught me the importance of being confident and assertive in my interactions with others. As a result, I’ve been able to form deeper connections with the people in my life.

Overall, I highly recommend this course to anyone who wants to improve their social skills. It’s been a game-changer for me and has helped me become more confident and comfortable in my own skin.

I am a little older than most people taking this course, (late 50s) but it’s never too late to develop yourself!

Previously I did not reach out to appealing people as I felt they wouldn’t be interested, and that frustrated me.

I worked on the ideas and tasks on this course both over the short term, and the long term (three years). I found the information in this course very practical and easy to understand.

I am at a time in life when people start to lose friends (it happens) and now, I have new, and, more importantly, special friends which I would have been too shy to reach out to in the past. Now, I confidently have conversations with anyone I feel like doing so with and it’s so fun and interesting! Also, I have deliberately set out to forge friendships with a few people I really like but was not quite friends with. Because of this I have two new close friendships with special people who I can rely on to be kind to me and support me, as I do for them. As well as just having fun! Before, I just let others pick me as a friend.

In addition, I have a lovely relationship with several very cool young people, and my new skills and thought processes help me realize I can be a valuable positive influence in their lives.

I actually have a few more friends that I know what to do with now!

I recommend this course for anyone of any age who is looking to help their natural shyness and friends-making skills. It works and I really wish I had come across this when I was young.

I feel like the course provided some grounded truths that I had been blind to before. Anxiety has a way of blocking the truth. And the course really opened up my mind to the ways I had been self-sabotaging and provided actionable steps to improve socially. When implementing these steps into my mindset, they eventually become habits, and now I feel more of a sense of ease with socializing (of course, I could still improve in some ways but have made HUGE progress).

I love the grounded perspectives this course offered. Advice is given in a practical and caring way that feels approachable for the learner. I reflect on ideas learned in this course often, and I’ve noticed I am making them into habits. I do feel more confident now than I used to. I feel that I have tools I can use to improve my overall quality of life.

Really this is one of the most valuable investments you can make in yourself. I highly recommend this course.

I’ve signed up for a few courses at SocialSelf now. I’ve always liked David’s videos and feel like he breaks down the components into understandable, digestible information that I can apply on a daily basis.

One of my favorite bits of information was that when I speak with someone, I focus on what they are saying instead of on myself, and that will help reduce my anxiety. This tip has helped me a lot with my social anxiety.

I used to get too nervous when speaking to strangers or people I didn’t know very well, or even my loved ones! Being mindful of what the other person is saying helps me connect with them. Thanks for the great courses!

I signed up for the courses because SocialSelf’s website was correct in explaining how going on expensive trips and other material things do not make you interesting, but how you engage with the other person does. It was backed with a generous 60-day money-back guarantee, so I felt comfortable purchasing all the classes.

Being extremely introverted, I assumed that others were comfortable socializing, not realizing that they may also struggle with talking to strangers, and find initiating conversations awkward, especially since I always see everyone grouped together in conversation. This made me much more comfortable with putting myself out there in marketing and networking, and I love the advice to be the one who’s extroverted! Great example of faking it until making it!

David normalized how I was feeling and very kind in empathizing with my situation, and gave great advice. The videos are of superb quality, concise and clear – there’s no fluff or time wasting, David gets straight to the point, explains very clearly each topic, and gives multiple examples to back up his statements.

One example is explaining why small talk is not “useless” as I always dread small talk, but rather a quick signal to let others know that you’re friendly and open, which makes you much more interesting and approachable. And understanding that still might make you uncomfortable, especially in a large crowd of strangers, just smiling helps when people pass by, and you might actually strike up a conversation when someone approaches you, and introduces themselves to you. Each video lasts around 5 mins, but packed with a lot of information and actionable steps that you can use right away.

To make sure that we’ve understood the ideas in videos, we engage in written exercises, commenting below to other subscribers. One such exercise is to share something about yourself that is personal but non-threatening, one example is talking about a movie you watched, which is a good icebreaker.

David discusses multiple techniques on how to be engaging, and I got excited about practicing these strategies, that for the first time in my life, I was excited to attend a social event!

Five stars at least – if it can make an extreme introvert like myself WILLING and excited to go out and meet strangers, these courses work!

I’m mainly an introspective/introvert homebody. I prefer weekends free of commitments. I run more on the logical side. In my early school years, I was incredibly shy, to the point of just staring at the other person in shock and saying nothing.

Later in school, I was less shy but got aware of conversation dead ends, and how some people seemed to have an endless source of subjects to keep it alive. So I’ve secretly always wanted a book of some sort to learn that art as if it would be my holy grail. Years later, I came across David’s material. I found it.

Also, in hindsight, I never attributed to lack of social skills when I think of how my dad and I were never very close, in fact how I would describe our relationship is that it was as if we were strangers. We have spent so much time in silent in each other’s presence, that I’m pretty sure we got numbed and didn’t feel the awkwardness of it anymore.

But it is a lack of social skills precisely, him and I just being quiet around each other, not knowing what to say. It was quite enlightening to have this new perspective, I am more compassionate, instead of just allowing the thought of “we just don’t enjoy each other” to sink in. This was a paradigm shift for me and I am so thankful for it.

Now, I am able to have better conversations with my dad, which I’ve always had great difficulty making conversation with, even over dinner and simple settings like that where generally everyone has an easy time talking. My dad was always quiet, and it’s funny now that I know this material, how I notice that he just doesn’t know the art of inquiring, and that’s actually nice because I feel more compassionate towards him and his quietness.

I feel more empowered in general when meeting someone that I click instantly, I know that when I get a chance to talk in private with them, I know I can make myself memorable and we can eventually become good friends by following David’s teachings.

When I’m on 1:1 situations, I feel more at ease, less palm sweating. It’s crazy sometimes I notice how stressed people get when they’re in a conversation with a stranger, they get fidgety, they giggle unnecessarily, they leave the conversation in an awkward way. Not to say that I don’t do that myself sometimes, but I learned to control these impulses and feel more and more at ease. It can be overcome.

Also when I meet new people for example at my yoga class or dance class I am more focused on finding common interests, and I can see how excited they get when I ask about them and their lifestyle.

David’s course is DEFINITELY NOT a band-aid, it is a cure, for whatever social discomfort you have.

From this life, we don’t take away material things, only the good relationships we’ve had. Also, if you think that you can’t find friends that are like you, I guarantee you they are out there, you’ll find them with the help of this course.

I always felt I was a good guy, well-intentioned and nice. However, I felt sometimes life and people were kind of stepping over me, not a lot of girls and social success. Then I decided to transform, to become that good looking social and funny man that gets along with everyone.

I’m an individual who is trying his best to improve every single day and turn into my best form, physically, socially academically, etc. I’m always striving for self-improvement. Now I’m outgoing, social and generally easy to talk to, sometimes a little random and weird but mature and kind in general. And what I learned is that change is possible!

It was kind of like this: “What have you been up to?” – “nothing”. The conversation would hit a wall and I didn’t know how to avoid it and people took advantage of my kindness.And girls, omg the most awkward thing ever. I didn’t know how to interact with them. I had no skill and couldn’t look them in the eyes. I felt like shaking.

One time I went with this girl and asked her something and she looked at me like “what?” I repeated myself and she didn’t quite understand me. Then I started shaking, went all red and said “Don’t mind, I’ll tell you later”, and left there all embarrassed and red. I don’t mean that now I can talk to them like a god but it’s easier now and I would always talk about boring and generic topics like school and classes… I was nervous and didn’t make a good impression.

People would ask me for favors or money and I would never say no or stand up for my ideas. I would be like “ohh well ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ” and didn’t “fight back” this way. I was constantly used and stepped over.

I didn’t want to make high school boring and strived for changing. When I addressed the issue, I was like “why is this like that for me and not for him?” Why do they act differently around me and around him?” (Other confident guys). So I was like “it’s their attitude, that’s just it dude.” The fact that some trusted girlfriends told me that physical appearance isn’t as important as attitude and confidence. I realized life was like that because I acted a certain way.

It was some Saturday night, and I got together with some friends in a nice restaurant and went for some drinks. Picture it, getting all groomed up, looking in the mirror and liking what you saw, then went out with my friends. We ate chicken wings and drank beer, we had a great time, and after talking with my friends they got to a point where they told me that I was the most social guy at the table. It felt nice, people perceiving me as the most social, after considering me antisocial for all my life, it was a nice realization and made a great night.

I guess my first girlfriend was an achievement, I never thought I could have one before. Or the fact that sometimes I would get multiple social invitations and get a full schedule and people were actually reaching out to me. That’s the time I felt things were fitting right!

I had a misconception that becoming a better conversationalist would make me one of those extroverts who unapologetically talks about themselves and looks for how they can benefit from the conversation. I stopped listening to that voice inside my head because, for me, it had become a necessity to make new friends and strengthen my friendships. Fortunately, I haven’t encountered major upsets or failures on my path.

Occasionally I have this feeling that people wouldn’t want to talk to me as my grades are low, I don’t have a great network, I’ve not achieved any great success or I’m not that promising. Basically, I thought people wouldn’t want to talk to me as they had nothing to gain from associating with me. But then, I thought I don’t mind talking with anybody as there is something to learn from everybody, So other people might also feel the same.

There are so many reasons why I connected with your style of teaching. First, you start with what we introverts think. Then you convince us that, achieving what we are trying to achieve is not hard work (expanding your comfort zone rather than stepping out of it). Some coaches try to impose their mindset on us and because it is somewhat convincing, we believe in that. On the other hand, you are more practical. You give personal experiences and practical demonstrations with your real life video examples. One more thing that really worked is that your approach is very rational. At no point did I feel that you are saying something without giving a foreground to it.

One thing it has done is completely eliminated awkward moments. And because I’m not putting on a mask, it’s not at all tiring. In fact, I look forward to more interactions. I’ve even started a brotherhood group so that I can meet new people and forge healthy relationships.

I can think of many things that seemed boring before but I look forward to them now. I stay in a hostel. I used to skip meals, especially breakfast, very often. Even if I went to the cafeteria, I would not have a complete meal. This was the time when I ate alone. Now that I have friends who I eat together with, I never skip a meal and end up having things I never really liked, as I don’t think about it too much when I’m having a conversation.

Similarly, those long walks from the academic block to my hostel doesn’t seem that long when I’m with someone.

Over several years now (maybe five or so), I have seen how everyone around me at my age began hanging out with each other outside of school and in other settings than the classic “stay at a friends place from after school and until they eat dinner”-visits that children often do when they are young. I realized that everyone else went to the cinema, the mall, and when I went to high school, others began going to parties everywhere, while I was just sitting at home, doing my homework and not getting any invitations to any activity with anyone from my class when the school day was over.

Then came a school trip to Florence (I had art classes at high school) two years ago, and I saw even more how everyone had fun in other settings than in a classroom. The one difference between me and everyone else was that everyone else talked to each other, while I always just listened. So I understood that I needed to talk more, just in order to make more connections with people. The problem was that I didn’t know how to talk to people in other ways than just throwing out easy comments like “wonder when they are going to change that light bulb” or “that was a nice drawing”. I never got any conversation going, and I felt that no one was interested in me because they didn’t talk to me (and I guess that is true because I didn’t seem like a person that was very interested in any other people, unfortunately).

When I started at university last year, I already knew that I would need to make friends fast, because if not, everyone would start forming groups while I stood outside. The problem was that I wasn’t included, even though I walked around with them and went to every social event during that first ‘buddy week’. I decided that I needed better social skills because the way things always seemed to end was heartbreaking. I felt that no one I met wanted to include me, and I didn’t understand why. The only way to understand it and fix it is to gain access to their groups, and the only way to do that would be to improve my social skills.

I was at this birthday party last weekend, and I had a slight fear that I would just sit by and listen to everyone else talking. What happened, though, when I started talking and asking questions to the one sitting next to me, was that I focused on him and asked further questions about what he said. I started drawing connections to my own life, and he seemed more interested in talking to me. More people joined, and we ended up discussing things that had happened that week and when the group conversation ended, I was able to continue talking to one of the others.

Now, I have understood the profound meaning of me asking them questions and be more interested in their lives. That makes conversations go easier. But it’s still hard. Especially when I have been that one labeled “the silent one” in almost every setting. The last big challenge is to get other people interested in talking to me. It’s much easier now, but it still needs a bit of practicing.

My new knowledge has made me more active in social life. I make contact with people I see. Before, I could meet a group of people I knew at a place and be with them, expecting to be included simply because I was in their vicinity. Now, I understand that I need to take part in what they are talking about. I try to talk more with them, and I try to be the one who takes the first step, initiating a talk or sending a message, and ask them about where to meet, when, and so on.

I think the feeling of not being socially skilled gradually eroded my self-confidence as I got older and if anything, I think it made me reject interaction with people and prefer to stay alone where things are “safer”.

I realized when I found your course that it’s not only me who feels self-conscious in social situations but most people feel that way. I think that had the biggest impact on how I feel about myself initially. I have also always felt like I don’t know what to say and I think I am now overcoming that. I think it was the feeling that actually there isn’t something wrong with me that has made the difference, and it’s helped me to start to forget the painful things that harmed my confidence in the past.

I would see someone and I think the voice was telling me that I didn’t know the ‘right’ way to be with people. Same in general interactions with people I don’t know really – feeling like I don’t know how to come off as normal. I think that the more I have followed the course material, I have just started to see that I am over-analyzing and overthinking, and that in itself has made me more relaxed and better.

I get more of the feeling that people I meet like me and have enjoyed talking to me. I still feel I have a long way to go but I think it’s now more about finding the opportunities to meet people and putting the new skills and attitude to use!

I would say the quality and structure of the material is very good and easy to follow, and you feel from the beginning that you can succeed. It’s not difficult or overly time-consuming. I was very happy to find something like that as I had never come across anything like it before. I think I was just very keen to try it, I had a lot of optimism about it.

I like the fact that I don’t feel pressured to spend time with people I don’t want to be around. I prefer to be with genuine friends who I have something in common with.

I was always needy. But thanks to my reading habits I found self-help books that led me to the personal development field. So I started to learn about myself, my type of personality, my values as an individual and how knowing myself better is the foundation for any good relationship.

I’ve also had problems with motivation. I wasn’t motivated to interact with people because I got depressed. ???? By reading and learning about cognitive distortions and limiting beliefs I was able to change the ones that were hindering me in becoming a social person.

I’ve gained a lot of confidence as a result of reading your free material sent by email, which is what I really want, to have confidence in -ANY – social situation and be able to dominate this particular area of my life.

Before I would get all anxious when being in the cafeteria with no one to talk to. I would stay terrified about the silence and feel all bad because I “didn’t make” any friends.

Now in the same situation, I don’t panic. I make a comment: Something about the person, clothes, accessories, etc. And upon their response, I then go on speaking more about them until I create some rapport.

Today I feel hope and confidence that I’m expanding myself by getting to know my contacts and knowing that I can make a difference in people’s lives just by connecting with them and sharing what I am.

I wasn’t a shy kid growing up, but I became very withdrawn around age 12, 13 due to an eating disorder I developed and have been very reserved ever since. I am currently in my first year at university and am trying with some success to overcome my quietness.

I have had a phenomenal experience with the program so far!

All of a sudden, my natural curiosity is leading me to have better conversations with people that we both enjoy. The majority of my relationships are just in the primary phase so far, but I have done many things with people who were just recently strangers.

I have people happy to see me and contacting me again at a later point to continue a conversation we’ve already had (kind of like what you’re doing :)). The best part is, I’m doing basically nothing more than just asking them questions and sharing my opinions. I did not have to change in any way for any of this. IIRI is a magical formula!*

I find that I am so much better in 1-on-1 conversations and even small groups. In large groups, it definitely is harder – just because of the environment – but the changes that are happening in 1-on-1 are definitely moving into group conversations. I find that the unconscious confidence these new “social success” moments I’ve been having lately builds the more they happen, and the more they happen, the easier (and more fun) bigger group conversations get.

I find that people make an effort to talk to me now and ask me how I’m doing. I know that friendships take years to build, but this course definitely is putting me on the fast-track to do so. I now find small-talk with strangers, and bonding 1-on-1, to be effortless. There is a great improvement in group conversations as well.

This course is amazing and I 10/10 recommend it for anyone who has EVER been at a loss at what to say when conversing. This course holds all these social skills so many of us seem to just be missing. Thank you so much, David!

Life is about the connections and relationships you have, and now I know how to have some.