SocialSelf helps smart, analytical overthinkers build real connection
We give practical advice for getting past the surface and actually connecting with people, without turning into someone you’re not.
Disclaimer: Our content is not a substitute for advice from your psychologist, therapist, doctor, or any other healthcare provider. Don’t disregard advice from your healthcare provider because of something you’ve read on SocialSelf.
Let’s make socializing feel less like a performance and more like talking to a close friend
Our typical member is a smart, thoughtful person who gets stuck in their own head.
They hold themselves back, and end up as the quiet, invisible version of themselves they never wanted to be.
A lot of them carry the feeling that they have to be someone else to be accepted. That’s exhausting. So over time, they start avoiding people altogether.
Over 12 years and 26,000+ members, we’ve developed a method we call “de-perform.” It’s the shift where talking to someone feels less like stepping on stage and more like talking to a close friend.
We help you meet people as your real self, instead of a version of you that’s working hard to be liked.
What we believe
Awkwardness isn’t a personality flaw or a life sentence. It’s a skill problem rooted in overthinking, and skills can be learned.
Being thoughtful and analytical can make us over-analyze to the point we freeze up. But with the right approach, we can have our mind work with us instead of against us.
And we believe you don’t have to become louder, fake, or shallow to have a great social life. In fact, real people skills help you stay more true to yourself.
What you’ll find here
Practical tools for every stage of your social journey — from free guides to in-depth programs.
Free Guides & Articles
Hundreds of articles on conversation, friendships, confidence, and social anxiety — all free.
Browse articles →In-Depth Courses
Step-by-step programs with video lessons, exercises, and community — for when you’re ready to go deeper.
Explore courses →Free Email Training
Join our free email training — practical tips delivered to your inbox to help you connect with confidence.
Join free training →How we’re different
We help you take things off, not pile them on
Most advice in this space hands you more to do. More tips, more lines, more rules to remember in the middle of a conversation. We do the opposite, so being around people feels lighter instead of heavier.
We don’t throw you in the deep end
No “go approach ten strangers.” Just small, manageable steps that build on each other, so the whole thing actually feels good as you go.
David Morin featured in Entrepreneur Magazine
Meet David Morin
I founded two companies and was nominated Young Entrepreneur of the Year in my home country Sweden. I figured if I just “made it,” the rest of my life, love and friendship, would fall into place.
It didn’t turn out that way.
As a kid I preferred my own company, so I never picked up the social experience other kids got naturally. As an adult, I was buried in my career.
So every conversation made me overthink and get stuck in my head. I felt like I bored people. I got stuck in small talk. I felt clueless in groups.
Read more →Review Board
Our review board makes sure our content stays accurate and up to date. It’s made up of psychologists and experts in social interaction.
Dan Wendler, Psy.D.
Daniel Wendler, PsyD has a doctoral degree in clinical psychology from George Fox University. A two-time TEDx speaker, author, and founder of ImproveYourSocialSkills.com and the 1.6M-member /socialskills subreddit.
Ilene S. Cohen, Ph.D.
“Dr. Ilene” is a psychotherapist, professor, blogger, and award-winning author of When It’s Never About You. She holds Master’s and Ph.D. degrees from Nova Southeastern University and is regularly featured in Psychology Today.
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Lissette León-Iglesias, Psy.D.
A licensed clinical psychologist since 2003. After working with addiction, trauma, and domestic violence, she now devotes her private practice to adults struggling with anxiety and depression, offering online psychotherapy in Florida.
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Viktor Sander, B.Sc., B.A.
Viktor manages SocialSelf’s scientific review board. Working in the psychology field since 2007 with a focus on communication and relationships, he’s been with SocialSelf since 2012 and previously coached people one-on-one.
Read more →Editorial Board
SocialSelf’s editorial board is made up of experts in social interaction. They create the actionable, in-depth articles, guides, and courses that help people improve their social lives.
Natalie Watkins, M.Sc.
Natalie holds a B.A. in Experimental Psychology from the University of Oxford, an M.Sc. in Cognitive and Clinical Neuroscience from the University of London, and is completing an M.Sc. in Integrative Counselling at the University of Northampton.
Hailey Okamoto, M.Ed
A licensed mental health and addiction counselor with 15 years of experience. She earned her Master’s in Clinical Mental Health Counseling at NC State University and has supported clients in private practice in North Carolina since.
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Nicole Arzt, M.S., L.M.F.T.
A licensed marriage and family therapist providing services for individuals, couples, and families. Nicole received her M.S. from California State University, Long Beach in 2014.
Brandi Newstrom, M.Ed.
Brandi researches and writes SocialSelf’s courses, making sure they’re scientifically based and applicable using Backward Design. She holds a Master of Education and a bachelor’s in Psychology from Northwestern University.
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Kirsty Britz, M.A.
Kirsty has worked across psychology, from relationship and career coaching to research and writing. In 2018 she left South Africa to complete her M.A. in psychology at the University of New York in Prague.
Read more →Ready to stop performing and start connecting?
Start with free email training, or explore the programs built for thoughtful people who get stuck in their heads.
120+ real stories of success from SocialSelf members
