“Why do I Have No Friends?” – Quiz

Scientifically reviewed by Viktor Sander B.Sc., B.A.

“Why can’t I make friends? I feel like no one likes me, and I’ve realized that as an adult, it’s way harder than it was back in school.” – Kim

Feeling lonely or realizing that you don’t have friends can be upsetting. It can drain your self-esteem and confidence, which makes it even harder to feel motivated to socialize.

There are so many different reasons that you might not have friends, but the good news is that there is always something you can work on to help find the friends you want.

This quiz can help you to diagnose why you don’t have the friendship circle that you would like. Once you understand what the problem is, I will also offer suggestions for how you can start to work through your difficulties.

Finding new friends is rarely easy but spending the time to learn new social skills and build relationships will pay off in the long run.

These are common reasons for having no friends:

  1. Being an introvert
  2. Suffering from social anxiety or shyness
  3. Experiencing depression
  4. Having Aspergers
  5. Being socially inexperienced
  6. Not having social interests
  7. Recently having moved, split up with a partner, or changed job
  8. Not having time to socialize

This is a complex issue, and that’s why we’ve created a quiz. In addition to this quiz, you might like this article on having no friends.


  • Part 1: Thought patterns that can keep you from making friends
  • Part 2: Underlying reasons for having no friends
  • Part 3: Life situations that make it hard to make friends
  • Part 4: Common mistakes that make it hard to make friends
  • Part 5: having friends that don’t feel like real friends

“Why don’t I have friends?” – Quiz

Part 1: Thought patterns that can keep you from making friends

The things we tell ourselves about social situations can have a huge impact on how we experience the events themselves. There are several common beliefs or worries that can make it difficult to make new friends.

Do you worry about being rejected?

Do you often worry that people won't like you?

Do you often dislike or feel resentment toward others?

Do you feel that your efforts at friendship just aren't worth it because it doesn't work?

Do you find socializing boring or unrewarding?

Do you find it difficult to trust other people?

Do you feel like you don’t fit in or that you are different?

Part 2: Underlying reasons for having no friends

Often, there are underlying reasons for not having friends. Sometimes, these issues are so important that they need most of your focus. At other times, you can work on these issues together with more practical friend-making steps.

Are you more introverted than extroverted?

Do you suffer from social anxiety or shyness?

Do you see yourself as socially inexperienced? (Having spent less time socializing than others)

Do you suffer from depression?

Do you find yourself being overlooked in groups?

Do you get angry easily?

Do you have Aspergers (Autism Spectrum Syndrome)?

Do you suffer from bipolar disorder?

Do you have other mental health disorders or physical disabilities?

Part 3: Life situations that make it hard to make friends

Sometimes you will find yourself with no friends as a result of something unexpected happening in your life or the situation you find yourself in. This section offers suggestions for some of the more practical reasons that you might lack friends.

Are most of your interests solo activities?

Have you recently lost your social circle?

Do you lack friends in college?

Do you struggle to make new friends AFTER college?

Do you live in a rural area?

Do you feel like you have too little money to socialize?

Do you struggle to find the time to socialize?

Do you only socialize with your significant other?

Have you lost your social circle after a relationship breakdown?

Part 4: Common mistakes that make it hard to make friends

Up to this point, we’ve talked about underlying reasons and life situations that make it hard to make friends. However, we might also have a bad habit that comes between us and future friendships. While it can be painful to think about ways we can improve, it can make a massive difference to your social life.

Do you sometimes don't understand or pay attention to others' feelings? (Empathy)

Is it difficult for you to make small talk?

Do you feel like your conversations never lead to a deeper friendship?

Do you fail to keep in touch with people you meet?

Do you worry that you work too hard to make people like you?

Is there a risk that you look unapproachable? (Closed body language, tense facial expression)

Are you overly negative?

Do you sometimes feel like you lack self-awareness around people?

Part 5: Having friends that don’t feel like real friends

What if you technically have friends, but don’t feel like you can trust them when you need them? While there may be many reasons for friends not being there for you, we are going to focus on the things that you can do something about.

Do you regularly end up using your friends as therapists?

Do you fear that you sometimes might come off as too clingy?

Could you be more flexible or accommodating?

Is it a pattern in your life that people are toxic, rude, or selfish?

Show references +

David Morin is the founder of SocialSelf. He's been writing about social skills since 2012. Follow on Twitter or read more.

Go to Comments (37)


Add a Comment
  1. This is important to me I just started going to high school and I wonder why I have no friends know i know why plus I also get very angry easily. I hope when I grow up im gonna live a very happy and social life.

  2. So basically everyone in my past 22 years has basically ghosted me. My family has no love for me anymore for my poor choices to go back to drugs over and over again even though the consequences. I just don’t think it’s possible for people to understand how I’m feeling and I worry that I won’t even be able to finish out my senior year of college. Haven’t even met one person in college I would consider friends and it digs a deep wound in my chest that left the biggest scar

  3. Nice to see I’m not alone! Lonely yes!
    I’m a social butterfly, a chameleon that blends well in most social arenas! I’m polite and diplomatic! I’m the life of the party! I do my part! I do have my moments! I’m perfectly imperfect! I take accountability for my words and actions! So what is my problem in attaining Authentic Friendships? I will not be used , manipulated or lied to! I have boundaries and limits that are well communicated! I have self respect and respect others! Perhaps I’m not the problem in this unsocial world of today! I do call it unsocial media! I’m to Real for most people! Yes I’m lonely, no real friends, family gone, toxic people eliminated!
    The alternative to be a fake friend, to lie, to use, to be socially acceptable and have a lot of friends…this is unacceptable for me! I’ll be here, I know I’m not ALONE!
    Lovingly Lonely in PA. USA

  4. Hey, listen!

    Time spent with people that one really doesn’t like, or cannot connect with for some reason(s) can be way lonelier than time spent alone. I know from personal experience.

  5. Today’s world is full of fake liars if you want to have friends you have to be fake and lie. Not interested in fake social media clout.

  6. I feel very shy around people and I’m not very social, I feel like people will make fun of me and call me stupid, I just really wants some friends, but my stupid mom is making me do homeschool and she said she could find people but it’s been 2 years and nothing has happened yet I don’t know why I’m not very social I’m just not, my mom says I always look grumpy but I just look that way, but I’m not actually grumpy, I just like to think to myself about my own stuff, and my siblings are crazy and mean if anyone came by they would want to die, not literally but still, I wish someone could just come over here and tell me everything will be okay, I also really want a bf but my mom said no so ye????

    • That sucks, I don’t have that kind of problem you have. I’m too social. I like to socialize but it just seems I’m weird and all that. It’s not your fault you don’t have friends. I think you’ll be fine. Ever think of doing public school?

  7. I’ve never had friends – as a child or adult – and have always been lonely as a result. I’ve tried several meetups but they weren’t my thing, as well as multiple hobbies, etc., None worked – and although I try to socialize as much as I can, nothing seems to stick and people just ghost me. At this point, I’ve effectively given up on finding ‘my people’ because at 53, I haven’t even found one person. I do well at work and have lots of colleagues who I get along well with – but they are colleagues, not friends – and we don’t socialize outside of work. I’m at a complete loss as to what it is about me that makes things like this. I have no living family and have never had a significant other either.

  8. You got my personality completely wrong, in fact, it was the total opposite of me. Your sentence structure is absolutely dreadful; therefore making it hard to read the question.
    I am a very social question, however, I do fear that people will not like me (as I’m so loud and jolly). Your response said that I need to hang out with people more and become more social.

  9. For real, your first suggestion for someone who is on the spectrum is “make eye contact” I think your quiz is broken.

  10. I don’t have a problem chatting to people and I’m always told that people like me.
    My trouble is that I have no interest in anything so chatting always remains shallow. Never leads anywhere.
    I’ve tried to be interested in stuff but I’m just not. I have no hobbies.
    I have depression and it’s made worse because of my isolation.

  11. ive always never really have friends and when i keep making new ones, they end up being netter friends with someone else and that is what gives me axaity.

  12. my friends are mean to me and they think that i am always ok but really i am never ok they think that i like them cuz i am lesben but i dont

  13. REALLY good article.

    glad that we are not alone!!! YOU’RE NOT ALONE ! we were not all given the same opportunities either x

  14. You sound so cute!!!! you sound like me when i was ur age!

    listen, most of the time its OTHERS that are not very nice people or well brought up.. its usually not you.

    do whatever u can, relax smile take it easy enjoy life… be nice to people and if they r not nice back, try with other potential friends!!! DONT WORRY about ppl from school, school will end and idiots will always be idiots x

  15. I had to move halfway across the country about 20 years ago, back to where I grew up. Not by choice. I’ve tried many times to make new friends here, but I feel like no one really wants to be my friend. I’ve always been good at approaching people, and having interesting conversations, but other people don’t seem to reciprocate. Example: At a job I left just before moving across country, there was one really nice woman that I would have loved to be friends with. I would ask her to have lunch with me on a regular basis and she almost always said yes. But, she never went out of her way to invite me to lunch. So I did a little experiment. I stopped asking her to lunch to see if she would go out of her way to ask me. She never did. Another example: After moving across country my family had a small family reunion. We called it a “cousin’s reunion” because two of my cousins were going to be there that lived a long way away. I tried to make plans with some of the cousins that I had been close to as a child. “Sure, we’ll get together sometime.” Never happened. Almost 20 years since I came back here, and I still don’t have one person I would call a friend. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I feel like I make all the effort to maintain friendships, and my friends just go along when I call, and rarely make an effort to call me, and try to get together. Am I too needy? I’m normally very introverted and am happy to spend hours, days, even week without contacting anyone. What am I doing wrong??

    • Hi CJ! I can really relate to you, and from what you wrote i honestly think its them, i think your doing a great job trying to make friends. Maybe the girl you mentioned in the text wasn’t interested in making friends. Continue trying you’ll find a friend in no time. 🙂

  16. I just have no need for people they do nothing for me male or female I like my solitude I take care of myself and I don’t worry about anybody and I don’t need anybody to worry about me as far as my opinion that’s my business not theirs

  17. Haha. cool quiz. Kinda already knew im lonely, introvert, occasionaly depressed because of no answers for the past and i seclude myself because its safer, energy is more effeciantly used, people will eventually move change or do something that made all that time to get to know them lost. lonely now, but will be better tomorrow i think. got tons of projects and hobbies i lov and do but occasionaly need a friend. maybe im just bored now. quiz is pretty accurate.

  18. Thanks for the quiz!
    Sometimes I’m afraid in social situations, and feeling stupid standing there shy and quiet. Other times l feel confident and speaks alot. But l don’t know what l prefer, l would like something in between. Either l standing quiet, shy and feeling stupid, or l’m feeling secoure and say some words. But then l always end up saying some stupid or mean things l should’nt have said. Ex. Things l’ve been told from others that should’nt be shared, or negative thoughts about me and life. How to find a normal manner, and what is “normal”?

  19. This is a great quiz and wonderful info! One problem I have is that if the other person talks a lot I’m not good at catching the flow and contributing fast enough. I feel like they sometimes keep talking because they get uncomfortable with a pause even if it’s tiny. I find it difficult to formulate sentences quickly. It’s easier when I’m writing but still slow. I think my ADD plays a role too. I get distracted. I do meditate by the way. It helps.

    • My problem is I talk way too much but I think that’s mostly because I’m so lonely when I finally get a friend or family member on the phone or to talk to in person I’m so excited about it that I’m bubbling over with energy and can’t stop yacking away which I’m sure is a turn off


Leave a Comment