How to tell if a guy likes you: 38 signs he has a crush on you

How do you know if a guy likes you? He may be acting friendly and flirty towards you, but how can you know if that’s just his personality? You want to know if he has a crush on you rather than just being someone who hits on every other woman he meets.

It can be pretty hard to figure out if the attention a guy is giving you is genuine. Hopefully, this guide can give you some clarity.

Sections

  1. Signs a guy likes you
  2. How can you tell if a coworker likes you?
  3. Does your best friend like you?
  4. How to be sure whether or not a guy friend likes you

38 signs a guy likes you

When a guy has a crush on you, his behavior towards you will usually change. However, it can be difficult to figure out. He may be acting nervous because he’s shy or flirty because he’s friendly and outgoing.

Here are the best signs to help you tell if a guy has a crush on you or not.

1. He stares at you

You probably know how hard it is not to look at someone you like. Prolonged eye contact without talking is a big tell that a guy likes you.

But to be fair, it’s common for guys to stare at any girl they find attractive. And it’s an easy way for him to show his interest without having to approach you. But who knows, he might even have a secret crush on you.

2. He mirrors you

Mirroring means that his body language, posture, or even what he’s saying reflects what you said or did.

Examples of mirroring:

  • When you take a sip of your glass, he also takes a sip of his glass
  • When you cross your legs, he crosses his legs
  • When you get very animated/passionate in a conversation, he also gets animated
  • When you lean in, he also leans in
  • When you laugh, he laughs

Note that mirroring is done subconsciously when he has a good rapport with you. But it can also be done consciously if he wants to impress or bond with you. It’s a great sign either way.

3. He added you on social media

Adding you on social media means he wants to keep in contact with you and might be interested in you. This is also good because now you can more easily start a conversation with him online.

4. His texts are longer than yours

If his texts are about the same length or longer than yours, that’s great. It’s especially good if they’re longer than yours.

If he usually gives short answers compared to you, that’s a bad sign. When you’re giving him long replies but not getting the same in return, it means you’re probably too eager.

In that case, it’s good to step back a bit and try to match him better. Keep in mind that some people are naturally better at others at texting.

5. He teases you

Most forms of teasing (even mean teasing) are usually a sign he’s interested in you. It means he’s trying to create a flirty vibe between you and that he wants a reaction from you.

Have fun with it, and don’t be afraid to tease him back! 😉

6. He’s leaning in

If he’s leaning in toward you, that shows he wants to get closer to you (or he’s really passionate about what he’s saying). When a guy has a crush on you, it can feel like he’s magnetically drawn to you.

7. He’s getting physically close to you

If you’re in a conversation and you feel like he’s edging closer to you, or as if he’s almost uncomfortably too close to you, that’s a good sign. He may be attracted to you and wants to feel physically and mentally closer to you.

Note that different cultures have different “personal spaces.” So, if he’s from a different culture than you, see how close he gets to others to see if it’s just you.

8. He offers you a massage

This is one of the most obvious tells that a guy likes you. Offering a massage is a nice thing to do, but it’s also a smooth way for a guy to get you both touching each other. (Remember to offer him one back if you like him!)

9. He smiles at you

If he’s smiling toward you from afar, that’s an invitation to approach him. (I’m assuming you didn’t just forget to put your pants on when leaving home.)

If he’s smiling toward you when you’re in a conversation, that’s a sign he likes you. Especially if he has a light smile while you’re not even joking.

10. He’s giving you mixed signals

Mixed signals are really tricky to interpret and can make anyone confused. But in most cases, they do mean he’s interested in you. Here are the most common reasons why he’s giving you mixed and confusing signals.

Nine reasons why he’s giving you mixed signals:

  1. He doesn’t want to come off as too eager
  2. He’s shy
  3. He’s nervous and insecure
  4. He’s afraid of seeming desperate
  5. He’s afraid you’ll reject him
  6. He’s inexperienced in flirting
  7. He’s following some weird rules or pick-up tips he’s read
  8. He’s just flirting with you (because flirting is all about giving mixed signals)
  9. He likes the attention or validation he gets from you but isn’t really interested in you

Giving mixed signals may mean a guy likes you, but it doesn’t mean he’d make a good partner. If someone sometimes ignores you or is mean to you, you should avoid dating even if you have a mutual crush on each other. You deserve a partner who won’t have you second-guessing yourself.

11. He compliments you

Getting a compliment from a guy your age is a good sign. If he’s giving you compliments about how pretty you are, it’s an even better sign.

It can be hard to tell a friendly compliment from a romantic one because they can sound exactly the same. To know for sure, look for other signs he’s also giving you or describe your situation in the comments below.

12. His pupils are large

If his pupils get large when you’re in a conversation, you’re doing something right. This one is quite subtle because pupil size is primarily determined by light levels, but secondarily attraction can also increase pupil size.

13. He makes eye contact with you

When a guy has a crush on you, it can be so hard for him to keep his eyes off of you. You can notice this if he’s holding eye contact with you for slightly too long.

It can almost feel a little weird or intense when it happens. And that’s great (if you like him).

14. He looks at you with open body language

This sign is most useful at a place with some background music, for example, at a bar or a club.

If he’s moving in rhythm with the background music and at the same time looking at you, that’s a sign he’s attracted to you. Dancing like that and looking at you is an inviting form of body language. That tells you he wants your attention and is trying to get you to make a move.

15. He straightens his posture

Is he straightening his back and standing up more straight? It means he’s a bit self-conscious when hanging out near you and wants to make a good impression.

It’s not a strong sign because most single guys want to make a good impression on attractive girls. But if you see it together with many other signs, it means more.

16. He faces you in group situations

If he’s facing you more often than he’s facing others in a group, that’s a sign he’s into you and values you more than others in the group. This is especially telling if you’re not the one talking the most in the group.

17. His feet are pointing towards you

If his feet are pointing toward you, that’s a sign in the same line as if his body is facing you. He’s subconsciously focused on you, which makes his feet point toward you.

18. He fiddles with his clothes or accessories

This could be because of nervosity, but it can also be because he wants to look good in front of you. It’s a classic sign of attraction.

19. His palms face you

If the palms of his hands are pointed in your direction, he might be interested in you. It’s a small sign, but it’s still positive because it’s part of his open and welcoming body language toward you.

20. He touches you when you touch him

For example, if you touch his arm, does he touch you in a similar area later on in the conversation? If he does reciprocate your touch, that’s a great sign.

If he’s shy or inexperienced, he might not feel comfortable touching you back, even if he has a crush on you.

21. He is extra touchy with you

A good tell he likes you is if he’s touching you unusually much compared to others.

Common areas to touch are arms, shoulders, back, hands, or thighs. Hands or thighs are usually more intimate if he touches those.

22. You have “peripheral physical contact”

Peripheral physical contact is when some parts of your body are in contact with each other when you are doing something else.

A good example is when you’re both sitting down, and your thighs barely touch each other.

This kind of passive physical contact means a lot and can build a lot of suspense and attraction. It’s the best feeling being close to someone you got a crush on.

23. He gives you more of his attention than others

The more attention he gives you, the more interested he usually is in you. Compare this to how much attention he gives to other girls also hanging out with him or in the same group as you.

For example, If you’re in a group and he seems to direct most of his attention toward you. It could be that he’s asking you lots of questions or that he’s laughing more than others at your jokes. Or just listening more intently to you.

24. He blushes when you talk or make eye-contact

He might just be shy, but he’s probably a bit extra self-conscious around you because he likes you. This makes him blush around you.

Social anxiety can also cause blushing. But it’s still a great sign.

25. He seems to look in your direction from far away

Guys can be a bit sneaky when they want to check you out. They can make it seem like they’re only looking in your direction or just grazing you with their eyes. And if he has sunglasses, it’s even harder to know if he’s checking you out.

So if he’s looking in your direction, especially if he does it several times, he’s probably checking you out.

26. He keeps the conversation going

What happens when there’s a pause in the conversation or if you stop talking? If he seems eager to get the conversation going again, that’s good. If he lets the conversation die out or excuses himself, he may not be that interested (unless he’s just shy).

If you have problems with the conversation dying out, check out this guide on keeping the conversation going with a guy.

27. He quickly replies when you text or message him

A quick reply is a good sign he likes you. Also, if he replies with several texts to your one text, that’s even better.

However, if he likes you, he may also delay his replies to avoid seeming needy or desperate. But as long as he replies, it’s all good. If he’s slow to reply, it could just mean he’s busy, or he doesn’t like texting, so don’t read too much into it.

28. He texts or calls first

Is he the one initiating contact, or are you? If he is, that probably means he’s interested in you.

But if he never calls or texts first, that shows a lack of interest. In that case, it can be good to take a step back to see if he will take initiative. If you’re always so quick to take initiative, he might never even have a chance to do it first.

29. He texts you often

Compare this to how often you text him. He’s eager if he’s texting more often than you, and you’re more eager if you’re the one texting more often. If he’s sending you several texts in a row without a reply, it’s a stronger sign.

30. He becomes awkward in a conversation with you

Does he stammer, stutter, or otherwise become awkward with you? This could mean that he feels shy or self-conscious around you. When a guy likes you, it’s common that he gets a bit extra flustered when talking to you. That’s because he gets uncomfortable and doesn’t want to mess up in front of you. It’s kind of cute, isn’t it?

31. He doesn’t back off if you get a bit too close

If he doesn’t even flinch when you get a bit too close to his personal space, that’s a sign he wants you close to him.

If you take a step closer, and he backs off by a step, that’s a sign he’s a bit more reserved toward you.

32. He talks about things he wants to do with you

Planning or mentioning things he wants to do with you in the future strongly indicates some sort of interest, romantic or platonic.

Example: If you’re talking about a newly opened restaurant, they say “We should go there someday!” or “I’ll show you how amazing that place is!”

33. He’s happy to discover you have something in common

If he’s happy, that’s good. This sign is extra strong if it’s something very trivial, such as you living in the same part of town, being the same age, or you both like pizza. For more tips, check out this guide on how to talk to a guy you like.

Example: You discover that you both grew up in the same city, and he gets really excited about it even if it’s no big deal.

34. He asks you personal questions

Personal questions are telling you that he wants to know more about you and is interested in you. The more he asks, the better.

Example: Asking about your plans for the future, your childhood, or your favorite food.

35. He asks you about your plans

Asking about your plans for the day or weekend might just be empty small talk, but it could also be him trying to open a window where you can meet again and hang out. It’s more likely it’s a sign of interest if he brings it up near the end of the conversation.

36. He tries to make you jealous

This is a strong sign he’s interested in you. But it’s also a sign he’s emotionally immature and manipulative. I would avoid someone acting like that. You deserve to be treated with respect.

37. He’s told his family about you

This one is most relevant once you’ve already started dating. But it’s such a huge sign of interest (and approval) that I think it’s worth mentioning. It’s even bigger if he’s from a culture where approval from the family is important.

If he’s told his family, it means he is visualizing and planning a future with you. Congrats!

38. He stays to talk with you even though his friends have left

This is a big tell. If you’re in some sort of group conversation with him and his friends, and all his friends leave, but he stays – he’s probably into you. It still might not be a romantic interest if you just have a great conversation and have lots in common.

An example could be when you’re at a party, and all his friends leave to get a bite to eat, but he stays with you.

How can you tell if a coworker likes you?

At work, It can be hard to tell if a coworker is flirting with you or just being friendly. Usually, guys play it safer at work because he doesn’t want to create any awkward situations if he would be rejected. So, he might be probing to see if you like him before he gives you any clear signs of interest.

Six ways to tell if a coworker likes you:

  1. He comes over to talk with you as often as possible
  2. He often teases you
  3. It seems like he’s flirting, but you’re not really sure
  4. He tries to hang out near you when possible
  5. He tries to be funny when he’s near you
  6. He’s eager to do any work tasks where you work together
  7. He goes above and beyond to help you out at work
  8. He gets weird or stiff when he’s near you, but he’s normal with everyone else

How do you know if your best friend likes you?

Here are seven signs your best friend might have started liking you as more than a friend:

  1. He’s acting differently from how he usually behaves
  2. He seems jealous or dismissive of other guys you might like
  3. He’s suddenly extra touchy-feely
  4. He seems unusually interested in your interests
  5. He seems extra needy
  6. He’s told you he has feelings for you

If you’re still unsure, let me know about your situation in the comments below, and I’ll do my best to help.

How do you know for sure if a guy friend is interested?

You can’t know for sure if a cute guy is interested based on a sign on this list. But there are a few questions you can ask yourself:

  1. Is he regularly showing you signs of interest?
  2. Does he act differently to others than to you? (So he’s not just flirty with everyone.)
  3. Has he shown any particularly strong signs of interest?
  4. Can you see any patterns in his behavior toward you?

Are you still unsure if he likes you?

Write down your situation in the comments below in as much detail as possible. That way, others can help you out by giving their opinion. I also expect you to help someone else by replying to their comment. We need to all pitch in and help each other.

Viktor is a Counselor specialized in interpersonal communication and relationships. He manages SocialSelf’s scientific review board. Follow on Twitter or read more.

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740 Comments

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  1. There is this guy at work I have a huge crush on but I keep getting mixed signals. It seems like we have an unspoken connection, but I don’t know if it is just wishful thinking on my part. In the beginning, we would just pass each other in the hall and give long stares at each other. It’s been a year and he just friended me on social media. However, he doesn’t “like” any of my posts but “likes” all the other girl’s posts. It’s very frustrating. He seems kind of shy and it took me a long time to just get a smile out of him. Now, if I see him in the hall he usually says hi first and is polite but it is just short, meaningless conversations. I’ve sent him a couple of PM’s and he responds quickly but doesn’t really engage much more than answering my question. At this point, I think I should just forget it and move on. It seems like a waste of time. If he is actually shy, I don’t want to give up. On the other hand, I don’t want to waste time on someone who is not that into me.

    Reply
  2. I met a guy on Tinder and we talked for a while long distance before he moved here. He was talking to somebody else a little bit more serious and I was not too happy and was down because I thought we were very similar and had fun when we hung out. After months of him talking to the other guy he specifically mentioned they are not “together”. We were hanging out every so often throughout the prior months, then we seemed to begin hanging out more. A few nights he seemed more flirty and complimenting me, and when we hung out he was very close to me at all times. One night we both fell asleep and then when we woke up he made a move and we took things a little too far. The next day he said that it wasn’t fair to me or the other guy and that we should just be friends as the relationship dynamics aren’t right. What does this all mean?

    Reply
    • It means he isn’t gay and experimented with you or things just didn’t feel right and he was politely letting you know. Take it for face value.

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  3. Honey , first of all . I don’t know why but this guy makes me a bit scared to be honest …. I am afraid he would do the exact same things to you . I mean if he really wanted you , he would have cake to tou and TOLD YOU tHAT ! Because it’s not hard for guys to do that !! If the want you they will definitely get you ! So relax , and be wise . If he ever approaches you and starts flirting , don’t act like you fell in love already , and if he never comes to you , then maybe you should just forget about him . You need someone who respects you , loves , and takes care of you ( and treats good especially for your first time in sex???? )

    Reply
  4. I was in the bathroom at high school and when I left the bathroom my crush was coming in and we bumped into each other and we almost kiss and then he started laughing and I left. What does it mean the fact that he started to laugh?

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  5. I’ve liked my crush for over 2 years now, and he has known for a long time. He got his hands on a letter I wrote for him in 7th grade, and he still my phone to put his number in. I really like him, but I don’t know if he likes me, cause he never talks about that note, or he’s busy. What should I do, cause I have fallen in love, and everyone is saying shoot your shot, but him and I agreed to be Really GOOD Friends. What should I do?

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  6. ok, my one is actually strange. I will call him “A”. I like A because he is smart, kind funny etc. But the thing is he has been crushing on a girl called “J” for 3 years. J doesn’t like A back (kinda sad) and to make things weirder, she eft the school me and A go to. I didn’t like A like that at first , we got to know each other as we had to sit next to each other in maths. I was actually such a b**** to him. All my friends said we would make a cute couple and stuff like that, and at that time i didnt reall realise my feelings for him. so at this time my two closest friends knew about A i told them a few weeks later when i gathered my thoughts). That was last year. This year, i started getting close with this other boy called “N” and he was such a good friend. so i decided to tell him about A. at first, N wanted to tell A and i kept saying no, but then i chnaged my mind and thought whats the worst that could happen? Well, A says Tasnim likes me??? i didnt even know that. Theeeeeeeeen, i decided to write a letter and i wasnt going to give it, but i did anyways because at this point, i just wanted to express myself now. He reads it and doesnt say anything ( i get that because N gave it to him, not me). So me and A start speaking more and more, which is kind of hard now because we only have 4 put of 13 classes together and we don’t sit together, just near. But yeah, i told him with my words that i like him and he said he likes me too as a friend. That really hurt not going to lie. Skip forward a few days, and there is a fight in the schoo, but me and A decide to stay and just talk instead of watching the brawl. I tell him that i’m never going to get over loving him, he’ll never stop loving J and we are never going to be a couple. His response was- “don’t say never, i never say never. One day Tasnim”. I literally felt ike hugging him. Today was christmas lunch at school, and we talked again about people saying stuff about us and then he asked for paper, and i asked why. he said I’m going to write back to you. And i gave him paper and he took it and said it’ll be filled with ink on monday. then, i said kl i love you and was about to go hwen he asked what i have now and i said english. so he said should he drop me off and i replied by saying sure you might as well. and so we walked to my class and i said i love you to him again, but he didnt say anything( i dont think he heard me). Also, we had a few little moments together, walking around the school and just talking abiut what I feel. At one point he said i was too good for him and i am way out of his league. i said stop lying to yourself i love you because you are so humble and kind about everything, youre too good for me. and he kept denying it. I also said you still like her and you wont like me like that. and he said just because i like her, doesnt mean there isnt a space in my heart for someone else- theres a ot of space. Thats finally the end of now but help me guys because this isnt a crush anymore…

    Reply
    • Darling , you should never tell him that first , i mean be nice , show him your interest but let him say i lovr you first !and then you respknd by i love u too . Becaise now he would think that you are too much attached to him . And the nature of guys is to follow girls … It runs in their veins , so now that you said , he wont do any following .

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  7. Hi , long story short . I met a guy online on Snapchat and we started chatting about every day later we started texting through phone .. we finally later decided to meet up about 8 months later and we realized we clicked . We started liking each other and dated for a good year , then later we broke up due to some things that needed to be worked out , we didn’t text after break up but later we asked each other how we’re doing , and from there we started texting again , it’s been almost half a year of us texting and calling ,, idk if he likes me or not . I still like him things just make sense with him and we’re best friends he even admitted it ! What do I do ? Is he serious?

    Reply
    • Darling , you should never tell him that first , i mean be nice , show him your interest but let him say i lovr you first !and then you respknd by i love u too . Becaise now he would think that you are too much attached to him . And the nature of guys is to follow girls … It runs in their veins , so now that you said , he wont do any following .

      Reply
  8. There is a married man that works at my job and he flirts and stared at me and gets jealous when I talk to the other’s he’s 45 and I am 19 but he was very flirty with me when I was 18 so what should I do!??

    Reply
    • Ignore him. I’m 45 a and flirt with a almost everyone, it’s my nature. But, if he starts to get jealous or controlling? That’s way way wrong. Ask him about his wife and what she would think… let your super know. Unless you don’t mind quitting your job, I would never ever date anyone from work, it always always ends bad for someone and at least one of you will quit, know it usually isn’t the career employee.

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  9. Hi! So I’ve been friends with this guy Dan for about 6 months and I have a little crush on him. In the beginning of the year, he thought I liked him but I just told him that I’m “friendly with everyone,” so things weren’t awkward. He mentioned that he had a ton of stuff on his plate and he needed time for himself…he wasn’t ready for a relationship. So we’ve been just friends for the past 3 months and I’ve respected his space. We always hug when we see each other and have nice little conversations going on. Recently we got dinner together as friends. Apparently I’m the person he’s hung out with the most since he got to college because he hangs in his room a lot. He said he really enjoys my company. We talked about so many different things and it was such a nice night. He asked me to hang out later that night and we ended up playing pool and it was such a fun time. He complimented my outfit and we had a few moments where we held eye contact for too long and chuckled. I have a good feeling he likes me and I want to tell him how I feel. It’s been a long time and I feel like by the time winter break is over, he’ll have enough time to get through his stuff and be ready to move forward. I’m just not sure if he’s hanging with me because he doesn’t hang with people a lot or if he has a crush. Like 1 hangout = friend. But 2 = (I like you as more than a friend and want to spend more time???). Either way, I want to tell him because I only see positives. If he needs space, we can still be friends or something. What do you think? Should I hang with him more as friends and feel him out more? Or just tell him after a hangout or 2?

    Reply
    • Okay so this is the type of guys who is a bit isolated which makes you conclude that since he is hanging out with you then he really likes you back . Welll, do u think its hard for guys to tell you i love you ? Do you think its so hard for them to express their feelings first ? Why is it you who want to say it first ? And why is it you who wants to stay at the end of the day even when he just wanna be friends . Darling , just know that if he really wants you , he would come to you and say it ! Straight forward . Because he would be afraid of losing you . Just like you are afraid of losing him .

      Reply
  10. This is going to be a very long story: I met this attractive looking guy near a bus station. He came out of nowhere while I was texting on my phone waiting for my ride to come and he asked me if I want it his number. He seemed shy at first (well, at least I like to think he was) because he gave me an option if I want it his phone number or not since I’m sure he noticed I was too anxious to talk so I said yes only because he’s attractive. He also ask for my age before leaving which I’m 30 years old (going 31 this February) I asked his age too and he said he’s 23 going 24 but I assume he might be a high school kid only because he looks young and there’s also a high school right across the street where I met him so that’s probably why I think he looks like a kid lol (I also have trust issues because I’ve had bad experience with men before) so I ended up texting him when I got home to give him my number and I liked the fact that he texted me the next morning by saying “Good morning gorgeous” it did went well the first 2 days until he started replying back by calling me “baby” all of a sudden with heart eyes and drool face emojis and stuff like that. Obviously he wants to have sex with me and I also don’t like it when guys that idk call me babe (especially when they’re not my boyfriend) so he got upset that I always make lame excuses for not meeting up at his place, that one time I ended ditching him last minute because I was having anxiety attacks and also my other friends ended up calling me to hang out last minute too. so of course he said “he was done” with me that I felt uncomfortable to respond him back but at the same i didn’t care or felt sympathy after sending me those weird text messages…. 2 months later I ran into him again and he went after me when I passed by him not knowing it was him the whole time. He seemed like he want it to give me another chance that we ended up giving our new numbers since we both got new phones. I also apologized to him for flaking him the other day and he understood about my anxiety issues when it comes to meeting new people. After we were about to leave, he asked me if he can give me a kiss so of course I said sure because I believe there’s nothing wrong having a casual kiss when you’re single (P.S. he’s very good at giving wet kisses btw so idk if that’s a good sign or not) so the question is: should I keep seeing him not knowing what his tensions are? should I give him another chance to hangout next time he texts me or should I walk away? Or should I trust him to go over his place next time we meet? Or ‘am I being too insecure? I have to admit but he does act like a shy gentleman in my face and gives me mixed signals but in messages he acts too extra which I think thats too weird and gross. He also said he wants to give me massage at his house but I don’t think is a good idea to go over his house yet for the first time especially because I don’t know him too well. I don’t mind having casual sex to be honest since I’m not looking for serious relationships at the moment but in the future I will want one. that’s why I think should start meeting new guys because I’ve never dated anyone before after I had a breakup with my long term relationship with my ex last year. I also wanna make sure he’s not a high school kid trying to go under my pants, or has a another girlfriend or something like that. I’m just confused because I’m sure he’s gonna HMU eventually to hangout so idk if I should trust him or not.

    Reply
    • Diana, Forget the kid! Well, have casual fun if you want, but make sure he’s over the age of consent first… Dont let your heart get caught up with this one. He sounds manipulative…. Find interests and meet new people that way, art, writing, computers, whatever it is you’ll meet like-minded people. ????

      Reply
      • Thanks. I have been focussing on my marraige and really happy with my husband but, he is always on my mind. I have hold back a lot on communication etc from my side and have started to write down (on my phone notepad) how i feel, what i want to say to him etc wheter its good or bad. It helped me to stop messaging him (sending nice motivational quotes) whenever that need fills me. I cant go and have coffee with him. We are both scorpios and in my 12yr marraige, nothing ever possessed me to look around to other guys. Scorpios are jealous and fierce lovers and dont just decide ‘oh a flirt sounds nice, lets try that’. We are committed creatures and wont do stupid things to just experiment. That is why it bothers me so much. We dont commit easily but when we do, its meaningful. I cant understand why this happens to me now. Luckily not me or he did not convess anything about love or such yet. We only agreed we seem to have the same interests. A lot in common. We dont talk for days, then all if a sudden he shows me lics of his house he fixes up. Sends me pics of him and his daughter catching fish. I deliberately witheld communicatiin frim my side but then he sends me stuff. And i would respond of course. He is really an awesome man. Oh my gosh never been so confused.

  11. Hi, i am married 12yrs. All of a sudden i started to care a lot about a guy at work. Worked with him for 2 years and can say the crush is for the past 6 months now but getting stronger since we started to lightly whatsapp and fb. Ooi we have so much in common. I am an ex hr manager and currently Safety manager and was concerned about the maintenance guy who might nit be in the right frame of mind. So he speaks to me as i was constantly making sure he is ok. Jo and i try stopoing these feelings but it takes over. Giid thing is we have not even taken it to the next step yet. Maybe he’s an arse for all i know. Our marraige is on good grounds. We do not have children and i feel our life is so boring. He has 2 kids, staying with him as the mother was the problem, and me living kids but not able to get them myself… I thought this may also be one of the reasons. However, been thinking about him non stop, wondering how our lives would be together. My husband is lovely but this new guy is a handy man, a person that is used to making decisions. Much stronger character as my huzzy. Now what? Been having the stares, he always close to me, tries to make me laugh, tells me i have a good heart. But he wont reach out, maybe a respect issue as i feel greatly respected as a manager and the ethics i display. I was nit looking for anyone else. How can this happen and what do i do now? I even told my husband during a fight we had, ‘how can i fall in love with another man?’ i dont want to start compare. Im also overweight so definitely can be a downfall.

    Reply
    • Hey there Lydia, be careful… Sometimes people feel comfortable being friendly / flirting with married people. It’s “safe”. (That was me in my 20s, before I knew better, anyway) Dont give up on a 12 year marriage for the chance of living a fantasy. If the guy really is keen he will edge closer I think. Maybe you two could grab a coffee, get to know him. Perhaps you will see he’s just a flirt, or maybe you will discover you two have a real connection, in which case the rest is up to you 🙂
      A

      Reply
    • Forget the kid! Well, have casual fun if you want, but make sure he’s over the age of consent first… Dont let your heart get caught up with this one. He sounds manipulative…. Find interests and meet new people that way, art, writing, computers, whatever it is you’ll meet like-minded people. ????

      Reply
  12. He’s refurbishing my house and doing a great job. So, he’s constantly teasing me lately and a few days ago he awkwardly hugged me. Instead of grabbing a ladder to check the ceiling, he actually called me and lifted me up for a minute. That’s total invasion of my private space. Plus a joke immediately after. How obvious is this?

    Reply
  13. Help please, a little confused. So I confessed to one of my work mates I had a crush on him. He responded well, saying don’t hold back. He was flirting with my on social media, & coming over to talk to me, when he passed my desk. Things were going well. Now he’s not contacting me outside of work, but still happy to spend time with me even if it goes over his break. I fear I’ve might have messed things up, but acting worried when he started pulling away. I confronted him. He said is this a fear or insecurity, was sure how to respond. So I admitted I was a little worried, due to his lack of interest & I didn’t want to look like a fool. He challenged if he should pick up his interest, I agreed in a flirty way. He seemed to like that I stuck up for what I wanted, because he had a huge smile on his face, and made a teasing comment. He made a passing comment about his pet hates from going on dates from dating websites, and not to worry, he wont do that to me. Still felt awkward. In the afternoon, he came over to walk me out, but seemed in a rush to leave. Next day he a little distant, so I mirrored him, and played it cool as for i dont want to seem needy. Have I messed up things?

    Reply
    • Nicole, Sounds like he’s sending mixed signals. Not your fault. He might really like you, but something is holding him back. Could be anything, from a girlfriend, to kids, to personal/family/financial issues that he’s embarrassed by etc etc… Just focus on other things, be nice, play it cool. He will come to you if/when the time is right 🙂

      Reply
  14. I have started falling for a guy, and he has been my great friend since 4-5 months. I’ve realized my feelings for him since 20 days back. I’m so confused I don’t know what to do. He may not have the same feelings for me. But he never use to ask me about my crush or whom I use to like. Inspite of sharing some love qoutes on my whatsapp status,he never use to ask me. And moreover when my friends says something about me in front of him he just looks downward and smile, and kind of blush also. Does he have got some mixed feelings for me?

    Reply
  15. Hey.. This is maybe stupid, but there is a guy I like for a year, but.. We don’t know each other. It all started on the first few weeks of school. I didn’t saw him until I sat in a tram. I saw him standing far in front from me, but he was looking at me when I was about to look at him. I was a little bit shocked, but when I was looking at him, he was staring at me and didn’t break the eye contact. When I saw him on school I began the like him.. Idk why, but it just happened. Since that day he keep staring at me. Like on school, outside, shopping mall, Public transport etc. His body is always towards me and his feet too, he never smile at me.. Well maybe 1 time, but it was a little one, but there was a time that I was going outside to talk to a guy, but he was also going outside and stared at me from afar and when I was inside he did the same? It was weird, but it’s not all.. We did a fire practice thingy and I saw him looking at him and I looked at him too, but then he walked towards me and stood next to me.. Staring.. Without saying anything. And when I was going upstairs he was behind me? But he lied to a friend of mine that he didn’t looked at me.. Like wtf? He always look at me if I walk past him.. My friends saw it, my sister saw it.. I really need help.. ????

    Reply
  16. I work as a customer service in an office. One of my client which i have never paid special attention to, is being very nice and a gentleman. Recently i noticed he’s avoiding eye contact while talking to me. Or giving a continuous eye contact when I’m in conversation on the phone. I have hundreds of other clients but i have never met someone with this kind of ‘personality’

    Reply
  17. I met a guy from another state because he started doing a show in my state. We talk a lot when he’s here which isn’t much. He winks and smiles at me at every show and sometimes sits by me. We hug every night he’s in town doing a show and he smiles at me a lot. His mom sent me a friend request on Facebook and likes a lot of my post and said she wants to meet me. Each year my crush and I talk more and more but when show is done for year we rarely talk even though we’re Facebook friends. Not sure what to think.

    Reply
  18. Hello sir. I am trying to figure this out. The situation is this, I am interested in a man about a decade younger than me.
    I have known him and his family most of my entire life. I am not blood related to him but my mother was married to his uncle.
    Anyway, at a family get together, he was there. I was late and I went in and said hi to people. I sat at the table and talked with someone. The man, the one I like, walked by me and then stopped and gave me a hug hello. I thought to myself, this was odd,but I let it go. The person I was talking to left and I stayed at the table. Out of nowhere the guy sat across from me and began eating the cake he had left on the table. There was no one else at this table, so …at least 5 more seats were available. We talked.
    As he was getting ready to leave, he gave me a goodbye hug. This has never happened before…so again I thought it odd and figured I would ask a guy friend about this as I did not understand.
    Before he left we, as a group, were all talking about cars and his house. And I said to him what can i buy you as a “house warming” gift. I asked what kind of liquor he liked. He said he has a ton of liquor at his house. I was like…darn it. Then I said what I liked and he said that it sounded good and to give him that.
    Fast forward about a week or so. I had been talking with him thru messenger and still I felt connected. So I told him I was going to see a movie and asked if he wanted to come with. I literally got no reply. So I “let it go”. I still messaged him but not like before.
    Last night, out of nowhere, he gets back to me. He is working 2 jobs and has a hard time keeping in touch with people. Now that he finally has a night off he can relax.(his words not mine.) He precedes to tell me he will be quiting is 2nd job soon and what he is working next week.
    Every instinct is telling me he is into me…and yet…I am unsure. Does he consider me family, friend…more or less?
    Thank you,Sir for your help.

    Reply
  19. Hi 🙂 i’m a little confused, I saw this guy at the gym the other day, I immediately stared at him when i saw him and he did the same, maybe thinking why is this crazy girl staring at me? haha, but after that we made couple of prolonged eye contact, I felt them to be quite intense to be honest, I did feel he may be interested but after when I realized, he left and didn’t approach or anything! ????‍♀️. The thing is that in Spain things don’t work this way, guys approach girls very easily, girls generally don’t have to do much????, if you look more than once to a guy he most likely will approach you, however in England everything seems more complicated ????‍♀️???? and I tend to interpret these confusing sings as if he is just not interested. would he be shy or just not interested at all?

    Reply
  20. So me and this guy met in university accommodation last year, and we bonded pretty quickly (like scarily quickly). We became good friends, and have been in the same friendship group for the past year and I now live in a uni house with him and a few others. He’s always quite attracted to me, pays extra attention to me, teases me etc. But recently (since moving in to the house) he’s acting more as though he likes me and we’re a couple. Like he always comes into my room, most of the time not for anything just to talk around and say random stuff. He constantly makes jokes about us being ‘associated’ in that way and shows me memes of couples saying ‘thats us’. Also whenever we’re in a room all together and we look at each other, he holds eye contact for uncomfortably long, sometimes winks, it’s very confusing. Now all of this makes me feel as though he does like me like that, but he also talks about girls around me a lot, like girls he finds attractive, but nothing more really – however he never acts on anything, and hasn’t done so since we met. I don’t really think i’m his type, which is what leads me to think he doesn’t like me and his personality is quite playful, so maybe what he’s doing is all a joke, idk?

    Reply
    • Hi, like I love this guy and seems he does too but doesn’t wanna have a relationship with me, saying he is not the kind of guy I can date or am suppose to be with, he says ‘you are in love with the wrong guy’ when I ask him why he said so, he would say I smoke and I would be like yes I know, he doesn’t even look like he smokes and its not every time thing, but at my back he chats with my church brother since I got to know him through that my brother and tell him he loves me but he is having trust issues with me since am still schooling, my church brother told me everything and said he is not supposed to tell me but seeing the way I love him and am almost giving up on him already so I said OK, we chat tho I always strike the convo first then he asked me in between the chat ‘ what level am I in school’ then I said my finals then he said oh OK that’s good then and asked about the boys in my school, wants to know if I have a relationship there and I told him ‘ I have none’ we don’t stay in the same state tho but not too far from each other, he said he will be coming over to my state next week because of me tho, I don’t know how true it is if its because of me he wants to come or not but he told me he was going to get me a honey pie when he comes then I said no problem he quickly added ‘u don’t have to go with me tho’ I was like well, wasn’t planning to go with ya, the next thing he said was ”really” , I said yes, then he said don’t u think its beautiful when u go out with your guy, holding hands and I was like but I have no one to do that with he responded when u get to school try it with your guy there, I told him again I don’t have any guy there, he gets really mad whenever he gets to know I talk with his friend he would ask ” what do u really want, cause u seem confused ”, he never wants to admit he loves me, I don’t even know if I should give up on him or not, sometimes I decide to give up and he says ” you’re giving up so quick ” ” you’re moving on so quick ” am just tired, please reply me, thank u

      Reply
  21. Hey, so I’m confused about this guy if he likes me i have known this guy since I was smal .but when he was around 16 he had feelings voor me but I beeld it up later we Message everyday and saw each other aften .but I did some thing stupid so we lost contact for like a 1 year we randomly saw echt other at a party and I added him on snap and we started catching up (mind you did not randomly add him but we talked at the party that made me feel that like I could add him) .We spook about being in a relationship and being interment with each other but he said he wasn’t ready for a relationship because
    He has to fix him self (what ever that means) so I blocked his ass. I saw this guy and he came up to me and start a conversation so I kept it short and when I went home added him on snap we talked on snapchat about him being ready but (did not understand what it could be sex, relationships) so I replied with relationships ?and he said yes.
    So after that I went out with friends and he deleted me on snap.
    Could you pleas tel me what the wrong with this guy. Btw never had sex and he knows that.

    Reply
  22. So there’s a guy i really really like. We got to know each other through club activities in university. Long story short, we’ve gotten close and now considered close friends i guess. We meet each other pretty often as we belong in the same club, and him as the president of the club, everything i do within the club, obviously have to go through him. We tease each other pretty often, we argue playfully pretty often too. Just like little kids hahaha. The “You take very ugly pictures”, “It’s not my fault your face is ugly.” etc.. It just keeps going back and forth. But we never really took it seriously, well i never. But even though we argue so much like that, sometimes he would tell me “I appreciate you the most in the club, you do very good job” and if someone was hurting my feelings and i somehow ranted it through my social media, he would be like “Who did that to you? I’ll fire him directly.”, i know he wouldn’t really fire him, he just said that to make me feel better and honestly, it kinda worked. Sometimes he would even complimented me and say “You’re really pretty, you shouldn’t bother about what people say” out of nowhere. Sometimes, he would catch me off guard too with his cringy pickup lines, which worked extremely well on me hahaha. There was a time when i was trying to pour myself a sweet drink, and he came up to me and say “you shouldn’t drink too much sweet drinks, you’re sweet enough.” Or the time when i called him bitter for being salty about something, and he replied me with “Yes, i am bitter, which is why i need sweet people like you” and it really got to me. I melted over it hahaha. I dont know if he’s being playful or friendly or just plain flirty. I can feel that he actually do care about me but i don’t dare to conclude it as him actually being interested in me. I mean, we do text often. But it mostly is related to work, which occasionally strayed away to jokes and us opening up little by little to each other. We went out together before but it was also due to work. Sometimes he would throw me the sweetest lines and then pulled by by saying jokes jokes. He’s so hard to figure out.

    Reply
  23. So I’m friends with this guy and now he’s always “joking” about us being together and yesterday he asked me out and I told him that I wasn’t sure if he was being serious and if he was joking and he said “you know me too well. Yeah I was joking” but it didn’t seem like a joke to me.

    Reply
  24. There’s a boy I like but I don’t know if he likes me he gives me mixed signals. I’ve known him for a few years now and he’s like a big kid. He holds my hand under the blanket on the couch, he always jokes around an tickles me, he gives me piggy backs and shoulder rides and he sits next to me wherever I am and I’ve heard saw him looking at my ass and heard him say comments under his breath about me but he’s always had a few beers, he kissed me as well but when I asked him about it he said it was just because he was drunk and he was sorry and didn’t mean to make me feel uncomfortable but he’s tried to kiss me before when he’s been sober and we’ve been alone. He treats my family like his and kisses my sister on the head like a little sister he also does this to me as well as everything else. I dont know what to do does he like me or does he just think of me as a sister ?

    Reply
  25. There’s a boy I like but I don’t know if he likes me he gives me mixed signals. I’ve known him for a few years now and he’s like a big kid. He holds my hand under the blanket on the couch, he always jokes around an tickles me, he gives me piggy backs and shoulder rides and he sits next to me wherever I am and I’ve heard saw him looking at my ass and heard him say comments under his breath about me but he’s always had a few beers, he kissed me as well but when I asked him about it he said it was just because he was drunk and he was sorry and didn’t mean to make me feel uncomfortable but he’s tried to kiss me before when he’s been sober and we’ve been alone. He treats my family like his and kisses my sister on the head like a little sister he also does this to me as well as everything else. I dont know what to do does he like me or does he just think of me as a sister ? X

    Reply
  26. So, there is this guy, atmosphere absolutely tense when we’re near each other. Standing always closer and closer, we laugh a lot, he always being super sensitive about my mood, whether I am sad, or upset. He touches me briefly, once he put his hand on my back as reassurance, another time poked me in the waist. Several times he gave me a ride home /just accidentally getting in the same direction/. We always talk about everything, personal stuff, hard moments, problems, funny stuff, dreams, etc., etc. He texted me once and so recently I also texted him and he did back., pretty quick, longer than my message, then we texted twice more. He never texts first, so I stopped. And then one day he was really close to me, telling and performing a story of how a child was speaking to his teacher expressing his love. He was standing just few inches away from me, saying in my eyes: “You have so beautiful eyes, I like you, your hair is so pretty /lifting a hand above my head/, I love you! Can I kiss your ear?”. That was in front of other people, but my guts tell me, this cannot be just a random story. Do you think he invested his feelings also? I wonder…

    Reply
  27. I have this guy friend and in a way I guess he is kinda my best friend but we’ve known each other since we were about eight. Last year before I moved away to a different town we decided to “talk” as more than friends cause we didn’t want to rush into anything since he had just gotten out of a relationship, I was 14 and he was 15 now he is 17 and i am 16 and I did tell him that I was moving so during the summer we still mostly talked but he is depressed and then he told me that he was in a relationship now he mostly leaves me on open but i don’t think he likes her or loves her that much Can someone help me? I don’t know what to do

    Reply
    • First of all, you have to know for sure, how is it going there with his girl, or you risk to lose him as friend. Secondly, for how long do you think you can pretend to be his friend, while at the same time tearing apart from inside, because of your sincere feelings? Maybe it is good at some point to think how you see your relationship in the future. If you are two very far away from each other, how do you imagine this could work? And when you have your own questions answered by yourself, then you can move on to talking about how you feel. If he has feelings for your, this would make him more confident to open up. 🙂

      Reply
  28. So my postman always asks when am not home where I am and he acts shy or nervous r so I feel he does when am about i gave him my phone number on a xmas card and a box of chocolates but he not sent any messages but he did thank me for the gift and said he really appreciated it that he really really appreciated it. And that’s it. So I dont know am lost I dont know what to think now .

    Reply
    • Not really sure about that one. Has he ever took any interest in you? To ask where you are probably is work related? My couriers always ask me where am I, if not on the expected address, as if so to come where I am, if anywhere close by, and deliver the package… Try to find other, more obvious signs, like those that Victor speaks about.

      Reply
  29. Soo my best friend and I have a complicated weird dynamic where I even myself don’t know what we are. I met my best guy friend 6 months ago and we started talking/facetiming/snapchatting every minute of the day before college started. We used to pull all nighters together. We finally hit college (we go to the same college) we had so many plans that we came up with that we have not fulfilled. Beginning of the school year he used to surprise me at my dorm (he even helped moved me in), hang out with me, see me frequently. There was a time when he asked if he could sleepover because he was too tired to go back to his dorm (that is a minute away from min LITERALLY) then we told him yes and he asked me to sleep in the same bed and cuddle with him. Things after that got awkward where he put distance there and we didn’t really talk as much as we used to and he joined a fraternity too. But the narrative changed because it started being one-sided where I’d ask him to hang out all the time and once in a while he’d ask to hang out. We got back on track with our friendship.
    But recently things was awkward about two weeks ago where I’m pretty sure he NOW has an idea of how I feel about him. Because I got drunk and ended up being clingy, telling him how much I love him, to close off the night I ended up kissing him on the neck SIX times (he ironically said before the party if I had an urge to kiss someone kiss a brother he IS a brother soo lol, ALSO he told my best friend he knows how I feel for him… ALSO he said in response to my text he had a feeling that me being all over him would happen) he said to me “You don’t want to do it like this… you respect our friendship too much to do this”. So he stopped talking to me for about a week and a half… and then we’re talking again. But I started noticing little things like his pupils dilates a lot more since the party. The other day we were on opposite sides and he saw me and yelled my name and ran up a hill too the extent where he nearly knocked me over telling me how he was so happy to see me. But I was with him and his boys (I was the only girl there) and then he started talking about another girl and about sex with them (not so much me because I was doing homework) and he’s very open to me about his sex life though (he knows that I’m waiting till marriage). Also whenever my mom is near he tries harder to please her.

    I just would like to know why he is acting the way he is… where’s his head at. What’s going on between me and him? How do I handle this going forward?

    Reply
    • I think you should move on. It’s obvious he only sees you as a good friend. If he feels something for you he should be able to come right out and say it since he already knows how you feel.

      Reply

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