How to tell if a guy likes you: 43 signs he has a crush on you

How do you know if a guy likes you?

My name is Viktor Sander. I’ve been working as a dating coach for over 8 years helping both men and women understand the signs we give when we like someone.

Here are the 43 best signs to help you tell if a guy has a crush on you or not.

1. Does he ever stare at you?

You probably know how hard it is to NOT look at someone you like. Prolonged eye contact without talking is a big tell that a guy likes you.

But to be fair, it’s common that guys stare at any girl they find attractive. And it’s an easy way for him to show his interest without having to approach you. But who knows, he might even have a secret crush on you?

2. Is he mirroring you?

Mirroring means that his body language, posture, or even what he’s saying reflects what you said or did.

Examples of mirroring:

  • When you take a sip of your glass, he also takes a sip of his glass
  • When you cross your legs, he crosses his legs
  • When you get very animated/passionate in a conversation, he also gets animated
  • When you lean in, he also leans in
  • When you laugh, he laughs

Note that mirroring is done subconsciously when he has a good rapport with you. But it can also be done consciously if he really wants to impress you or bond with you. It’s a great sign either way.

3. Has he added you on social media?

Adding you on social media means that he wants to keep contact with you and might be a bit interested in you. This is also good because now you can more easily start a conversation with him online.

4. Are his texts longer than yours?

If his texts are about the same length or longer than yours, that’s great. It’s especially good if they’re longer than yours.

If he usually gives short answers compared to you, that’s a bad sign. When you’re giving him long replies, but not getting the same in return, it means you’re probably too eager.

In that case, it’s good to step back a bit and try to match him better.

5. Is he teasing you?

Most forms of teasing (even mean teasing) are usually a sign he’s interested in you. It means he’s trying to create a flirty vibe between you and that he wants a reaction from you.

Have fun with it and don’t be afraid to tease him back! 😉

6. Is he doing the “lean in”?

If he’s leaning in toward you, that shows he wants to get closer to you (or he’s really passionate about what he’s saying). When a guy has a crush on you, it can feel like he’s magnetically drawn to you.

7. Is he getting closer to you than others?

If you’re in a conversation and you feel like he’s edging closer to you, or as if he’s almost uncomfortably too close to you, that’s a good sign. He may be attracted to you and wants to feel closer to you both physically and mentally.

Note that different cultures have different “personal spaces”. So, if he’s from a different culture than you, see how close he gets to others to see if it’s just you or everyone.

8. Has he ever offered you a massage?

This is one of the more obvious tells that a guy likes you. Offering a massage is a nice thing to do, but it’s also a smooth way for a guy to get you both touching each other. (Remember to offer him one back if you like him!)

9. Is he smiling toward you?

If he’s smiling toward you from afar, that’s an invitation to approach him. (I’m assuming you didn’t just forget to put your pants on when leaving home.)

If he’s smiling toward you when you’re in a conversation, that’s a sign he likes you. Especially if he has a light smile while you’re not even joking.

10. Is he giving you mixed signals?

Mixed signals are really tricky to interpret and can make anyone confused. But in most cases, they do mean he’s interested in you. Here are the most common reasons why he’s giving you mixed and confusing signals.

9 Reasons why he’s giving you mixed signals:

  1. He doesn’t want to come off as too eager
  2. He’s shy
  3. He’s nervous and insecure
  4. He’s afraid of seeming desperate
  5. He’s afraid you’ll reject him
  6. He’s inexperienced in flirting
  7. He’s following some weird rules or pick-up tips he’s read
  8. He’s just flirting with you (because flirting is all about giving mixed signals)
  9. He likes the attention or validation he gets from you but isn’t really interested in you

If you need help, explain your situation in as much detail as possible in the comments. I’ll reply to well-written comments and help you interpret the signs.

11. Does he give you any compliments?

Getting a compliment from a guy in your age is a good sign. If he’s giving you compliments about how pretty you are, it’s an even better sign.

It can be hard to tell a friendly compliment from a romantic one because they can sound exactly the same. To know for sure, look for other signs he’s also giving you or describe your situation in the comments below.

12. Are his pupils large?

If his pupils get large when you’re in a conversation, you’re doing something right. This one is quite subtle because pupil size is primarily determined by light levels, but secondarily attraction can also increase pupil size.

13. Is he holding eye contact with you?

When a guy has a crush on you, it can be so hard for him to keep his eyes off of you. You can notice this if he’s holding eye contact with you slightly too long.

It can almost feel a little weird or intense when it happens. And that’s great (if you like him).

Click here if you want to learn how to improve your eye contact.

14. Is he giving you a slight smile?

If you’re standing in a group, and when someone else is talking, you two get eye contact. Does he give you a slight smile?

Same thing if you get eye contact at a distance, in a park, or at a bar. A smile is an invitation to start talking. He’s interested!

15. If there’s background music, what’s his body language, and what is he looking at?

This sign is most useful at a place with some background music, for example at a bar or a club.

If he’s moving in rhythm with the background music and at the same time looking at you, that’s a sign he’s attracted to you. Dancing like that and looking at you is an inviting form of body language. That tells you he wants your attention and is trying to get you to make a move.

16. Does he straighten his posture when he is close to you?

Is he straightening his back and standing up more straight? It means he’s a bit self-conscious when hanging out near you and he wants to make a good impression.

Not that strong of a sign because most single guys want to make a good impression on attractive girls. But if you see it together with many other signs, it means more.

17. What direction is he facing in group situations?

If he’s facing you more often than he’s facing others in a group, that’s a sign he’s into you and values you more than others in the group. This is especially telling if you’re not the one talking the most in the group.

18. Where are his feet pointing?

If his feet are pointing toward you, that’s a sign in the same line as if his body is facing you. He’s subconsciously focused on you which makes his feet point toward you.

19. Is he fiddling with or straightening his clothes or accessories?

This could be because of nervosity, but it can also be because he wants to look good in front of you. It’s a classic sign of attraction.

20. What direction are his palms facing?

If the palms of his hands are pointed in your direction that signals he might be interested in you. It’s a small sign, but it’s still positive because it’s part of an open and welcoming body language he has toward you.

21. If you touch him, does he touch you back?

For example, if you touch his arm, does he touch you in a similar area later on in the conversation? If he does reciprocate your touch, that’s a great sign.

If he’s shy or inexperienced, he might not feel comfortable touching you back even if he has a crush on you.

22. Is he extra touchy with you?

A good tell he likes you is if he’s touching you unusually much compared to others.

Common areas to touch are arms, shoulders, back, hands, or thighs. Hands or thighs are usually more intimate if he touches those.

23. Do you ever have “peripheral physical contact”?

Peripheral physical contact is when some part of your bodies are in contact with each other when you are doing something else.

Example: If you’re both sitting down and your thighs are barely touching each other. Or if you’re walking side by side and he grabs hold of your arm.

This kind of passive physical contact means a lot and can build a lot of suspense and attraction. It’s the best feeling being close to someone you got a crush on.

24. Is he giving you more of his attention than he’s giving others?

The more attention he gives you, the more interested he usually is in you. Compare this to how much attention he gives to other girls also hanging out with him or in the same group as you.

Example: If you’re in a group but he seems to direct most of his attention toward you. It could be that he’s asking you lots of questions or that he’s laughing more than others at your jokes. Or just listening more intently to you.

25. Does he ever blush when you talk or get eye-contact?

He might just be shy, but he’s probably a bit extra self-conscious around you because he likes you. This makes him blush around you.

Social anxiety can also cause blushing. But it’s still a great sign.

26. Does he seem to look in your direction from far away?

Guys can be a bit sneaky when they want to check you out. They can make it seem like they’re only looking in your direction or just grazing you with his eyes. And if he has sunglasses it’s even harder to know if he’s checking you out.

So if he’s looking in your direction, especially if he does it several times, he’s probably checking you out.

27. Does he keep the conversation going when you stop talking?

What happens when there’s a pause in the conversation or if you stop talking? If he seems eager to get the conversation going again, that’s good. If he lets the conversation die out or excuses himself, he may not be that interested (unless he’s just shy). If you have problems with the conversation dying out, check out this guide on how to keep the conversation going with a guy.

28. How quickly does he reply when you text or message him?

A quick reply is a good sign he likes you. Also, if he replies with several texts to your one text, that’s even better.

However, if he likes you, he may also delay his replies to avoid seeming needy or desperate. But as long as he replies, it’s all good. If he’s slow to reply, it could just mean he’s busy or he doesn’t like texting, so don’t read too much into it.

29. Who texts or calls first?

Is he the one initiating contact or are you? If he is, that probably means he’s interested in you.

But if he never calls or texts first, that’s a sign of lack of interest. In that case, it can be good to take a step back to see if he will take initiative. If you’re always so quick to take initiative, he might never even have a chance to do it first.

30. How often does he text you?

Compare this to how often you text him. He’s eager if he’s texting more often than you, and you’re more eager if you’re the one texting more often. If he’s sending you several texts in a row without a reply it’s a stronger sign.

31. Does he stammer, stutter, or become awkward in a conversation with you?

This could mean that he feels shy or self-conscious around you. When a guy likes you, it’s common that he gets a bit extra awkward or stutters when talking to you. That’s because he gets uncomfortable and doesn’t want to mess up in front of you. It’s kind of cute, isn’t it?

32. Does he back off if you get a bit too close?

If he doesn’t even flinch when you get a bit too close to his personal space, that’s a sign he wants you close to him.

If you take a step closer, and he backs off by a step, that’s a sign he’s a bit more reserved toward you.

33. Does he ever talk about things he wants to do with you?

Planning or mentioning things he wants to do with you in the future is a very strong indication of some sort of interest, romantic or platonic.

Example: If you’re talking about a newly opened restaurant and they say “We should go there someday!” or “I’ll show you how amazing that place is!”

34. How does he react when you discover you have something in common?

If he’s happy, that’s good. This sign is extra strong if it’s something very trivial, such as you living in the same part of town, that you’re the same age, or that you both like pizza. For more tips, check out this guide on how to talk to a guy you like.

Example: You discover that you both grew up in the same city and he gets really excited about it even if it’s no big deal.

35. Is he asking you any personal questions?

If he is, that’s telling you that he wants to know more about you and is interested in you. The more he asks, the better.

Example: Asking about your plans for the future, your childhood, or your favorite food.

36. Has he asked you about your plans for the day or the weekend?

This might just be empty small talk, but it could also be him trying to open a window where you can meet again and hang out. It’s more likely it’s a sign of interest if he brings it up near the end of the conversation.

37. Is he trying to make you jealous?

This is a strong sign he’s interested in you. But it’s also a sign he’s emotionally immature and manipulative. I would avoid someone acting like that. You deserve to be treated with respect.

38. Has he told his family about you?

This one is most relevant once you’ve already started dating. But it’s such a huge sign of interest (and approval) that I think it’s worth mentioning. It’s even bigger if he’s from a culture where approval from the family is important.

If he’s told his family, it means he is visualizing and planning a future with you. Congrats!

  1. Is he staying to talk with you even though his friends have left?

This is a big tell. If you’re in some sort of group conversation with him and his friends, and all his friends leave but he stays – he’s probably into you. Still might not be romantic interest if you just have a great conversation and have lots in common.

An example could be when you’re at a party, and all his friends leave to get a bite to eat, but he stays with you.

40. How can you tell if a coworker likes you?

At work, It can be hard to tell if a coworker is flirting with you or just being friendly. Usually, guys play it safer at work because he doesn’t want to create any awkward situations if he would be rejected. So, he might be probing to see if you like him before he gives you any clear signs of interest.

6 ways to tell if a coworker likes you:

  1. He comes over to talk with you as often as possible
  2. He often teases you
  3. It seems likes he’s flirting, but you’re not really sure
  4. He tries to hang out near you when possible
  5. He tries to be funny when he’s near you
  6. He’s eager to do any work tasks where you work together
  7. He goes above and beyond to help you out at work
  8. He gets weird or stiff when he’s near you, but he’s normal with everyone else

I think this is super interesting, so if you have a work-related situation, write it down in the comments. I will 100% give you a reply and help you interpret the signs.

41. How do you know if your best friend likes you?

Here are 7 signs your best friend might have started liking you as more than a friend:

  1. Is he acting differently from how he usually behaves?
  2. Does he seem jealous or dismissive of other guys you might like?
  3. Is he suddenly extra touchy-feely?
  4. Is he unusually interested in your interests?
  5. Has his behavior toward you changed recently?
  6. Does he seem extra needy?
  7. Has he told you he has feelings for you?

If you’re still unsure, let me know about your situation in the comments below and I’ll do my best to help.

42. How do you know for sure if a guy friend is interested?

You can’t really know for sure if a cute guy is interested just based off of a sign in this list. But there are a few rules you can use to help you know:

  1. Is he regularly showing you signs of interest?
  2. Does he act differently to others than to you? (So he’s not just flirty with everyone.)
  3. Has he shown any particularly strong signs of interest?
  4. Can you see any patterns in his behavior toward you?

43. Are you still unsure if he likes you?

Write down your situation in the comments below in as much detail as possible. That way others can help you out by giving their opinion. I’m also expecting that you help someone else by replying to their comment. We need to all pitch in and help each other.

Viktor is a Counselor specialized in interpersonal communication and relationships. He manages Socialpro’s scientific review board. Follow on Twitter or read more.

Go to Comments (703)


Add a Comment
  1. I want the answer??
    One boy is with me we both like each other … We have come close also bt he never tells me. I like u … N I also not told him I like u … N one time we have come closely also … exactly what’s is this… N our vibes also match properly..

  2. Hi, so I have an at-work/ friend situation. There have definitely been a couple of times when we’ve had “moments” when we’re alone we feel like we’re drawn together. We will stand a little too close but just soak it in instead of backing off, I’ve had moments when I’m super awkward and finally get the courage to look in his eyes and he’ll gaze back at me with the look of someone looking at an adorable puppy lol. I feel like there’s definitely chemistry. He’s always putting himself in my “bubble” and teasing me. Both of us have made jokes about us being together. It’s a little complicated because he’s my boss in a family-owned business. His mom is the owner and is close to me too. Like she offered to let me do my laundry at her place if I needed. And invites me to bring my kids to our meetings. (I’m a divorced single mom) he was there one time and met my kids and made a point to play with them and help them. He also had his dog there and made comments like “my dog is really good with kids” he repeated this sorta awkwardly a couple of times haha. We got talking about renting an office and he was like “we should get one with a playroom for the kids”… anyway I invited him out with friends and he immediately accepted. And sounds really excited! But the man is ridiculously busy and works 70 hours a week. So I’ll text him and he will always reply but it never turns into a conversation. Granted he receives like 100-200 texts a day and emails on top of that every day. And we see each other a few times a week for work.

    I just don’t wanna read into things. I’m trying to figure out if he likes me. And also figure out what I should and shouldn’t worry about.

  3. I first met him through my friend on the bus as we were coming back from school I felt nothing and the same goes for him too, but after a few months I developed a huge crush on him and this is the 8 month of my crush that keeps going on but since 2 or half months back I saw him taking glances at me from far whenever we are near we never talk nor I look into his eyes but I noticed that he always keep staring at me and I think he has little tiny Miny crush on me but I’m not sure but whenever I’m near him he makes sure to see me without me noticing although he thinks I don’t notice but I do. We rarely talk I don’t know if he feels the same but he kept giving me hopes that he likes me

  4. I have a guy friend that asked me out a really long time ago. It’s been 11 years. I turned him down because I was nervous, but I did like him. We would chat on Facebook every once in a while after graduation but that was about it. I thought he was over it when he told me to date his friend. Then in 2016, he sent a picture that said I love you, but he probably also sent it to 11 other girls. But I’m 2018, he started messaging me and asking me questions, my answer was you have a girlfriend, that took care of it. In 2020, I started messaging him to see what he had been up to, completely forgetting about what had happened. So now we’ve been messaging and texting since December of 2020. He started calling me beautiful and all kinds of nicknames. In the summer of 2021, he asked how I’d react if he kissed me. I’ve never had my first kiss. He hasn’t done that yet. But I recently moved back to almost where he lives. The problem is he makes plans to hang out and then gets busy I guess. He hasn’t been texting me as much but he tells me sweet dreams and things like that. What should I do? It’s like I can’t forget about this guy.

    • Hmmm…in reading your situation (and I’m just being 100% honest with you here), he doesn’t seem all that serious about where he wants things to go. When a man loves(or even just really likes a woman), he is going to MAKE TIME for her(even if he’s “busy.”). In your description of him here, this all just seems like a game between the two of you in my opinion. Too many years of hiding, ignoring, reappearing, contacting, ghosting, guessing, hoping, etc…If he(and you)is/are playing the hot/cold game and aren’t making things clear of where you both stand with your feelings(esp. after this many YEARS of knowing each other), then he may just be enjoying ‘the game’ and the attention he gets from it. You say at one point that he had a girlfriend when you two were talking, so he may have just wanted to know if you still liked him and would wait around for him. For some guys it’s an ego booster, nothing more. And I don’t know the type of questions he’s asking you(hopefully, it’s not a bunch of sexual stuff or things that focus solely on your looks or body rather than who you are as a person. If so, this would be a HUGE RED FLAG! When a man GENUINELY is romantically interested or in love with a woman, he’s going to truly CARE about her and her feelings. He won’t treat her as an object or rush her into sex. If he is asking you about this subject without being nervous at all or without at least a little bit of hesitancy, then that’s NOT a good sign! It sounds to me like he’s just fishing for your response to see how much BS you’ll take from him and will still wait around for him despite it.

      I could be wrong here, but just based on what you tell us about his behavior, he’s more than likely keeping you as an option. He may like you and find you physically attractive, but he isn’t interested ENOUGH to keep from losing you. The reason I say this is that he seems to be ok with having only a little bit of contact with you every couple of years(guys will NOT do this when they really like you because they know they can risk losing you to someone else!). You also say that he asks you questions or says things to you (that according to you), he also “says to 11 other women/girls” too. That’s not a good sign either. Why? Because he isn’t making you special or separating you from the rest of them(meaning, he treats you ALL the SAME way!). You’re not “the one,” but rather just one of many. Given the behavior you describe here though, I would say leave him alone. Pursuing someone who isn’t sure about you only leads to more heartbreak down the road.
      If you can be ok with just being friends, then I’d keep it at that and nothing more(though I don’t know if I’d even want to be friends with a guy that treats me the way you’re describing him here.). Still, there is a lot of missing information here and you know him better than we do. But if it were me? I don’t think I could invest any more of my precious time on this guy. Life’s way too short for head games. Trust me, when someone is interested in you, you’ll KNOW IT! You won’t need to guess or look for hidden “signs”(which let’s face it, the majority of the time, we tend to misinterpret and read into what isn’t really there anyway.). You deserve much better than to be treated like an option. Get out there, meet new people and live your life. Show him that you, yourself to have other options!

      All the Best!

  5. Hello! So, I really like this guy at school. Somedays he ignores me, but other days he talks to me a lot. In the hallways, he says hi to me or does this little handshake thing (though he does that with almost everyone). He’s complimented me before, though it might have just been friendly (he told me that I have many hidden talents). Around him, I get really nervous and I’m worried he thinks I don’t like him because I instantly close down our conversations.

    But the other day in advisory, he told me (in front of everyone else) that he feels we have a special connection. Again, I’m not sure if that was flirty, though it sounded more on the serious side. I don’t know what to make of that.

    But…… I’ve heard that he wrote a secret admirer note to a girl in my grade for Valentine’s Day and I’ve also heard that he likes another girl (who is actually IN MY ADVISORY so she heard what he said) so…

    I definitely feel like I’m reading way too much into the little things, but he sat next to me once and our legs brushed AND I SWEAR HE DID NOT MOVE AWAY (I was the one who did actually move away though I placed my legs back where it previously was…)

    And then all this might actually be me misreading the situation because he’s such a friendly guy. And also, I know I’m such an idiot for not reciprocating, but I get super nervous and awkward around him…

    Nothing could ever come out of this because he HAPPENS to be Muslim and my mom is borderline prejudiced. Like, really prejudiced. And that really bothers me because my mom would ADORE him otherwise. But I guess knowing would help.

    So yeah, help me out here. Does he?

  6. I like this guy at my school and several people have told me that he stares at me all the time but I never notice, he usually doesn’t hang out around me either but when he is talking to me he stutters a bit, I don’t know whether he likes me or not.

  7. theres this guy i found him attractive so i went and got his snap so we talked on snapchat for a while and he asked why i asked for his snap and i didnt know what to say so he asked if he made me nervous or something and i said yea and he smiled the next few weeks we just looked at eachother in the hallways and i snapped him and he snapped back so i left him on opened and then he starts typing and goes”so the one time i snap leave me on opened” he asked and i told him im kinda giving up on him cuz he already knew i liked him it was obvious and then he responded “lol you couldnt even handle me tho” and i asked why is that and he said “im a toxic lightskin ill really f***k up your life you dont need these problems” and i responded with the same energy and then he ended the conversation with an LOL and the next day we just kept staring at each other sometimes he tries to impress me in sports and sees if im looking but we never talk irl just on social media, we talk in groups tho but not alone idk if he likes me or not

  8. I have a crush on my tution mate.we used to talk through chats.we never talk in real life.sometimes he texted me first and sometimes I Texted him first.well I texted him “brother” to see his reaction but he didn’t react.whenever I see him he always set his hair some time our eyes mate not a longer one.sometime I feel like he have a crush on me and sometimes real we pretend like we don’t know each other.but he is a shy person when I said to him sorry for some reason he replied me that “Don’t say sorry I don’t like it”.

  9. I like this guy in my society but we don’t talk too much. When we play football we are sometimes in the same team but mostly I play better against him I don’t know why but yeah. I really like him and sometimes get the vibe that he likes me too but then I feel like he doesn’t like me so I don’t really know what to think of it. It’s just that we don’t talk much and so I feel like maybe it’s just a coincidence that we have eye contact or that I play better when I’m against him and can beat him.

  10. What is the difference between flirtatious teasing and bullying? There’s this kid who always calls me by my full name as opposed to my nickname which everyone knows I prefer my nickname. He also always makes jokes about what I’m doing if I’m drawing it’s the name I’ve given my drawing or how I drew it that he jokes about but the minute I seem upset he doesn’t say a word about it and drops it to change the subject. maybe he doesn’t like being confronted?

  11. This guy I have seen in this coffee shop for quite a while now & I have quite a thing for him. In the last month I sat quite close to him & his friend, I felt him looking at me & he was trying to get my attention. We did make small talk about a dog in the cafe. I said bye to him & he replied & I felt good. Then the next time I was in there I caught him looking at me quite a bit, he called me over to join him & his friend. We chatted for some time, his friend left & he carried on chatting to me. He asked me if I had a partner, I told him, he told me he was single & we carried on finding out about each other. A couple of times since I’ve been in there he’s been with other friends & gone out of his way to say Hi & he’s not ignoring me & maybe we can catch up another time. He asked when I would be in next time, I told him & kind of made a time but unfortunately, I was late, I was upset to not see him in there but he did come in & say to me he was here at the time I said but he needed to shoot off now but went out of his way to do this because he didn’t want me to think he wasn’t letting me down. The next time I saw him he got my attention & waved so I joined him for a chat for an hour. We seem to be quite relaxed in each other’s company & I am attracted to him, I’m not quite sure if he’s interested that way or just being polite. My gut is telling me he’s interested. We haven’t exchanged numbers but I would like to but I don’t want to make the first move as it’s only been a month. Any advice?

    • If you don’t wanna seem too eager or something because it’s been a month then just try to think of a good excuse and then just ask him while chatting like yeah yeah so you can just gimme your no. and I’ll text you or something

  12. there’s a guy in my school, he’s two years older than me and we’ve never talked before but we have friends in common, he always looks at me, like always, and he stares, I think he likes to mock me, the other day he was staring at me while he was going up the stairs, he never stopped looking at me, he knows that it makes me nervous, he was talking with his friends and they all started looking at me and then he laughed and then I left, it’s like every time I’m near him I feel this tension between us, plus he’s single, I think he has a crush on me, but I’m not sure since we’ve never talked.

    • I think that he definitely likes you. His friends were probably teasing him about his crush on you and he definitely seems interested.

  13. There’s a guy in the gym, he’s been staring at me constantly for weeks now, I ask what his name was, he told me he asked where did I live. He follows me around the gym, we seem to start at the same times even though there different every day. He makes me smile, he’s also starting to follow me in the car, which I find funny. Do I ask him out he said he had to pick he’s girls up, oh I said are you with someone he stutted and said yes, then he ask me fo I have a boyfriend I said no, he was like you will….have I read the signs so wrong over the past 10 weeks

  14. My coworker is honestly just an amazing person. I’m not drawn to anyone and haven’t been for well over 6 years. We bonded immediately, and I adore him so much. He’s honest and open but rarely with anyone other than me. He’s my literal twin, and I see so much trepidation in him because he’s the younger version of myself.

    We talk “on the side,” involved in our own conversation as mutual coworkers speak as a group as if no one else existed in the world, and I crave his conversation — to the point of being unhealthy.

    I’ve invited him out “alone” as my plus one to my friends’ relentless parties three times. The first, awkward silence and refusal paired with a lame excuse. The second, was a quick acceptance with a moment of clarity when he realized we would “double book” something planned with his own mother. I took this as a willingness to hang out and momentary “derp.”

    Now, the third invite and an acceptance to hang out with my friends that he has NO knowledge of. My friends, who are all couples. Him, knowing we are “coupled” by default. Commence my own freakout.

    I don’t know what’s coming, or why he accepted my casual invite to an unfamiliar place with unfamiliar people (who don’t speak English well…), but I’m out of breath with anticipation. Because, well, who would be willing to tag along for this?

    Backstory: We started the job within one week of each other, him a week later. We created an instant bond by following each other everywhere we could, learning from each other and closing physical proximity that we both admitted (later) was not typical. He’s shared an elevator step with me, which is typically “verboten.” He leaned in, he stared, and we always sit in proximity at lunch. High school crap at middle-age, basically. Long stares and quick jabs. Competition and equality.

    I don’t like people. At all. But, him? He’s allowed. He’s allowed the proximity. He’s allowed the blank stares and the “derp” statements that we both seem to exude when tired. Not sure where this will lead, but he agreed to hang out with my 99% Spanish-speaking friends. AFTER I WARNED HIM THAT THEY WILL NOT UNDERSTAND HIM.

    And, I mean… his acceptance is everything. I don’t care where it leads. He’s already established that he views me “more than” the other (male) coworkers — I’m female, by the way, in a male-dominated trade. Traditionally “handsome?” No. But with the small bit of connection that we have, he’s a 10/10. A truly beautiful person with zero knowledge of how spectacular he really is. And it makes me a little sad that he doesn’t know his worth. I’ll see how this outing with him goes. Not expecting a whole lot, but I hope he can shine.

      • Unfortunately, he backed out of the hangout, and I am really bummed. His excuse was valid, but it still stung. At least he agreed, right?

        I guess I will just have to have patience and see if he reschedules. I won’t be asking again, though. It’s too bad!

  15. I’ve known this guy for YEARS like I’m talking Kindergarten and we used to despise each other but still got along and I started having a crush on him since then. We don’t talk a lot now but we’re still friends and go to the same school. Almost every morning on the bus I see him look at me even just briefly and he does little kind gestures like when we’re sitting in the same row he lets me out first. Sometimes he also starts a conversation when he sees me doing something like studying for a test or when I’m talking to someone he joins the convo or straight up starts his own convo with me. We don’t text a lot tbh we barely do and the last text I sent him was happy birthday with a pink heart to try and hint that I like him and he responded with “Thank you” and a thumbs up. I honestly have no idea if he likes me or not

  16. I have a neighbour… we havent talked to each other yet. Neither i know any of his personal details.. not even his name.. .. i can see him only if I go to terrace… he looks at me for a long time, if he sees me… he comes and stands in the balcony just to look at me… he does all this in a noticeable way… as if he wants my attention…

    I want to know if he likes me… because after all he does, i started liking him

  17. So one of my coworkers always waves at me and talkes with me when its just us two. He smiles at me and teases me a little bit. I want to ask him for his number but i dont want it to be awkward if he doesn’t like me. So should I ask him or should i just play it safe and wait for him to ask me?

  18. Hi!
    So I (25) met this guy (30) online a little over a month ago and things have been going well. He takes me on dates, I’ve already met some of his friends, he wants to meet mine, and I even met some of his family (grandma and cousin). He makes me feel special, but i’m a little hesitant because of past relationships of being led on and manipulated. Should I be concerned that I met some of his family so early? I know it’s usually a good sign when he wants you to meet the important people in his life, but I’m not sure what to think about that. We also don’t talk as much during the week as we do over the weekend, but when we do hangout it’s like that doesn’t even matter and we hangout all night and day. I guess I’m just conflicted and possibly second guessing this and also don’t want my feelings to be played with again. I’m also used to dating guys my age or a couple years older so maybe he’s actually more mature. I would like to know your thoughts.


  19. he has followed me on instagram and then unfollowed,,,he did this twice,,,,,,,,we never talked,,but get to see each other daily,,what this follow and unfollow means

  20. I don’t know if this guy likes me but everyone keeps saying he does because of everything he has been doing. Like he would stare at me from a distance when I’m not looking and when I am we. keep the contact for like 10-20 seconds before we look away at the same time.
    He would smile at me randomly even if were not talking
    He brings me up to one of my friends out of now were. What do you think PLEASE HELP ME

  21. I have a coworker that’s new and he starts a lot of convos in person and all, but he barely texts back on snap. He gives me compliments and all but he keeps denying us to hang out. At first, he was the one who asked if I was free but the next day he said he was busy. I then asked him out a couple of days later, but then he blew me off today and said his mom got mad at him with gas prices. I mean I’m 18 so it sounds dumb but I can’t tell if he likes me or not. Am I getting the wrong cues? Please help me out lol

  22. So there is this guy at church that I like but haven’t got chatting to yet but I have wanted to for about the past month and it just hasn’t worked out, due to unfortunate events.
    I would tend to look at him now and again and I have seen him looking back at me and I don’t know if that is just because I’m looking at him. I would just love to get to know him as friends first and see what happens but my issue is that I’m kind of quiet and he is really shy, but it’s just how to start a conversation and about what is my problem, to be honest.

  23. So I have grown up with this guy we have known each other and our family’s somewhat close but we rarely talk to each other but recently he’s been talking to me here and there and we often look at each other in the eyes but I get too shy and look away first. But the other day we were at a group party with people we know and when we went to sit down and have a group chat there were plenty of open seats open but he pick the one next to me which I thought was weird because he has never sat be me before. And who knows I could be overthinking things.

  24. Hey! I’m Emma so there is this guy that I have a big crush on but I hate him at the same time he can be mean to me like this one time he call me a pig so I called him a rat but he might like too I can’t tell some times I catch he starting at me and we will just look at each other for a good 3 seconds then look away. And he talks to me after school and he acts nice for once and I feel like myself with him but his friends are always there so idk if he is trying to be nice or Idk he likes me oh one more thing my best friend is really Close to him they are neighbors and their parents are friends and she uses to have a crush on him but she said she doesn’t anymore but I don’t believe her but she said that he is like a twin brother. So do you think he has a church on me or not?

  25. There is this guy at running club & I’m not sure if he likes me. He’s hot & cold & this is confusing. We haven’t conversed much but I just have a feeling he likes/is attracted to me. Signs I think he likes me are: he stares at me, I can tell he’s listening when I’m talking to other runners, he seems annoyed if I ignore him (this is a terrible habit I have when I fancy someone), he’s added me on Strava – he’s an elite runner so I don’t know why he would add me as I’m new to running & he doesn’t follow many people & the people he follows are mainly men. When he’s spoken to me he asks me questions about me but the odd thing is when I compliment him on his running or ask him something about him he shuts down. That is 1 of the signs I don’t think he likes me & these are the others: when I try & talk to him he looks uncomfortable & avoids eye contact & doesn’t smile much. The other issue is he’s a little bit older than me (about 10 years), he has kids & I think he might be married! I’m probably over reading the situation but any advice would be greatly appreciated. Feel free to tell me to get over this stupid crush! 😀

  26. There is a guy at work and I’m not sure if he likes me. He’s texts me everyday and even though we are remote will go to the office on days I’m there. We have hung out outside of work but only with other work people as well. I feel I’ve given him opportunities to ask me out and he hasn’t. I’m also not sure if he’s single, I’ve tried to causally find out by asking things like if he had Valentine’s Day plans but his reply was vague. He does help me out at work a lot but he’s also the nicest person I’ve met so he’s hard to read.

  27. Okay, so I met this guy at a party I went to. He had looked at me a couple of times from across the room while he was standing and talking to some friends. After a few minutes he and his 2 friends come over and one of his friends says hi to me because I had met her before. She then says “so, have you met my friend X?” She then steps aside and let’s the guy jump in and introduce himself. And like that she and the other friend just leave. It felt like a “have you met Ted” moment. So they leave and this guys starts talking me to and asking me questions about myself. He got really excited anytime we had things in common like “oh, you’re a middle child? No way, me too!” We talked for a little bit before he was like “okay, I have to go. But are you going to the basketball game?” And I was like “oh, I haven’t been to one of the games yet, but I was thinking about it.” Then he was like “yeah, I never go, but if you’re going to be there then I’ll be there so we can hang out.” So to me I was like oh this guy is into me, and that never happens for me! Guys hardly ever show interest in me, so I was pretty excited about it. I went to the game, he was late so I just took a seat. When he showed up he didn’t come to sit with me so we could talk and hang out like he said, he went and sat with his friends on the other side of the room. After about 15 minutes he finally comes over and talks to me for about a minute, I made him laugh so I thought he would stay and talk, but then he left to go sit with his friends again and didn’t talk to me the rest of the night. He sounded a little hesitant and maybe nervous when he was talking to me both times, so I’m trying to decide if he was just nervous and chickened out. I’ve been told that I can come off as intimidating, so I’m wondering if he just got nervous or if he really wasn’t interested. Ha ha! What does everyone think?

  28. Ok so I am the restaurant manager at a local coffee shop. I have a guy who is actually quite well known. He was on television about 15 years ago and he actually hosted a show on B.E.T for about 5 years. He comes in the shop about twice a week since 2019. He has been very cold to my workers and I but this man is so attractive that we all look past his mean demeanor and cold attitude. Fast forward to December of 2021 he comes in and my co worker is waiting on him.. he looks over at me and starts smiling and he asks me how am I doing. I was so caught off guard as I have been secretly crushing on him since the first time I saw him. I started blushing and I told him I was ok and started smiling. Well my co worker was putting his order together and witnessed this whole thing as she knew this was out of his Character. While she finished bagging him I decided to cash him out. I gave him his change and he began to stare deep in my eyes and smiled at me and nodded his head like in approval then left our shop. Ever since this encounter happened we have been cordial and friendly. Well last week he comes in again the same co worker and I were there together and when he noticed me he turned his head to the side then proceeded to put his hoody on his head really quickly. My co worker said good morning and he didn’t respond back which wasn’t too surprising like I said he is kinda cold. So to break the ice I walk over and I say good morning very cheerfully and again he doesn’t even speak to me he barely glances my way yet he is Constantly pulling at the sides of his hoody… So I was really kind of hurt as I could not figure out what I did for him to be cold towards me out of no where. So I went to the side to do something else to avoid him and not show my feelings were hurt. Well my co worker caught him staring at me and she told me after he left. I reviewed the camera and sure enough soon as I went to the side he said a swear word under his breath and he stepped up to order and automatically started looking at me. He stood there staring at me for about 10 seconds before he turns around like he was upset and walks back to his original spot. I didn’t see any of this because my back was turned. This man didn’t even pull money out to pay yet and he gets the same thing everyday he has come in my store for the past 3 years so we already know his movements and that’s not like him. I was so confused by all of this because I like him more than I care to admit even though we haven’t made any contact outside of my work place, I have a huge crush on him. Uggghh I feel like a high school girl again and not this 36 year old woman. Help! What does this mean!!?!! By the way he is about 44 years old. Like why are we going through this? Does it seem like he’s interested or just being friendly??

  29. Hey guys!
    Help me out here.
    I like this guy, and I have for quite a long time…years infact. We go to the same school, and he knows me, but not in the way I had hoped.
    Last year, my friends and I had been talking about crushes. I had seen this guy before and he left me with quaking knees. I cant even look in his direction without getting butterflies. I tried to contact him on social media, and it worked. We talked for a bit, then I suggested we meet up. He kindly said that was not in his interest, and proceeded to block me. I know, rookie move. I realized afterwards how hard i had messed up, and forgot about him for a while. I was almost over him, but then I saw him in our cafeteria, we maintained eye contact for what seemed like forever. I had seen him do the nicest things, overall seeming like a great guy. Fell back in…again. We are now at the point where my brother has been attempting to be friends with him. He thinks I’m “interesting” which doesn’t seem to be so bad. My friend tried to help me out, but ended up going behind my back to get with him. She is almost 4 years younger, so that’s that. Here we are today. I want him to notice me, to at least be my friend, but i cant go and talk to him. What should I do?

    • Hi Hannah,

      Man, this brings me back! I had a similar situation with a guy I liked when I was 12 and my feelings for him were off and on even until I was 20 years old. I kept finding little reasons here and there to convince myself that he liked me and then I would get obvious signs that he didn’t. I even had friends telling me that he was into me based off a little things that happened. But looking back on everything I know better and can see that all those little signs I thought I saw were nothing. If I’m being completely honest, a guy saying you are interesting isn’t a big enough sign to go off of. I hate saying it because I know how it feels to like someone, think you are over them, and then get sucked right back in when they do something nice. The fact is if there is a chance for you guys then he will be doing a lot more than calling you interesting. I say keep living your life and do your own thing. Don’t be afraid to take other date offers when they come up. If he’s into you then he’ll be one of the date offers, but don’t waste your time waiting for a guy to start liking you. And ditch the friend, no one who says they are going to help you with a guy and then turns around to start trying to get with them is worth your time! Good luck girl, and I hope life goes well for you!


Leave a Comment