How to Double Your Confidence in 5 Minutes

The science behind the experiment

In our course “How to Talk to People & Make Friends With Them“, you’ll learn how to talk to people and connect with them—even if you don’t know what to say or get stuck in endless small talk.

How will you use what you learned in this video clip? Share in the comments below! If someone writes something you agree with, let them know you have their support!

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454 Comments

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  1. The video felt like taking small baby steps towards something which is great. The message was not rushing and trying to make us socially interactive with just 5 mins but to teach us slowly and scientifically.

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  2. This is beautiful but wanted to know how to improve body language like slouching and Hunching in front of people which makes them stare at me obviously and completely crushes my self-esteem and I get confused about what I was talking about.

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  3. Thanks I believe I learned a lot from this and I look forward to more learning about this. Truthfully even writing this message I have a problem not knowing if I’m saying something right or not. Thank you

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  4. What do you do when the other person is following this same technique and focusing their questions on you and your life? Then it seems like you would need to redirect your own focus to yourself and on your answers.
    This happened to me recently and made me uncomfortable because I find talking about myself to be taxing and uninteresting.

    Reply
    • Great question! Conversations shouldn’t only be about asking questions. Then you’ll end up feeling interrogated (like you probably felt). It’s just as important to share bits and pieces about your own life, as you’ll see in the training in the coming days. But when you feel anxious and self-conscious, this is a great way to take some pressure off of you. When you focus on what the other person is saying, it’s easier to come up with things to relate to about your own life as well. So this method doesn’t only help you come up with questions, but also related thoughts, reflections, and stories that you can share with them.

      Reply
  5. Hi, will the course open up soon, I’ve been trying to find a solution for a very long time. Mostly I become self-conscious when I interact with confident people and people I feel inferior to. Or people who will judge me for various things. Sometimes the opposite gender scares me if they are someone who presents and holds themselves in a confident manner. I think working out will help me a little but I’m not sure. Also tried nofap for a while as some mentioned it’s related but I’m not sure as well. I’ve always been very quiet.

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  6. Regarding focus, is it possible that focussing on someone else would lead you to be more likely to judge the person?

    And for curiosity, how much of a balance should we have between curiosity and telling them something about ourselves? I’ve heard it’s not good to only ask someone questions and not mention anything about yourself.

    Reply
    • Hello Lachlan, great questions! I think judging people is a separate issue. It’s possible to be fully focused on someone without judging them. When it comes to curiosity vs telling someone about yourself, the ideal is to balance so both you and the other person do roughly half of the talking!

      Reply
  7. For some reason lately, I have been getting really anxious while I’m talking to a guy that I like but it’s really weird how I can easily talk to anyone but him and I wish I would like if someone can help me be more social with this person that I have been talking to for some quite time now…please and thank you!

    Reply
    • When I’m nervous, to me I’m doing sth so important to me it would be so bad to ruin such a moment; but I have to appreciate that I’m human-designed with emotions like anxiety reacting to such times; so I just give it my best knowing that it’s so important and the mere fact that I am nervous about it. I think you’re nervous around him because he’s so important, and to me, that nervosity creates so much excitement in me.

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    • Sorry, I can’t help, but I’ve got the same problem with this girl!
      It’s like whenever I’m talking with anyone else I’m fine, but when I even think about taking to her my brain just shuts off and I get super nervous and can’t think.

      So frustrating! Because she’s the one I want to talk to, and I feel as if I come off as uninterested and aloof!

      Reply
  8. When you F focus and are C curious, that means to me to be curious, hopeful and actively listening about opportunities and possibilities of where this conversation may lead, for example, to a shared interest, knowledge gained, networking opportunities, etc.

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  9. I believe I found a credible method that simplifies the root of my nervousness difficulty out of million ideas of the internet.

    (My aim is to get recognized in a premade
    noisy quarrel discussion where 20 ppl start talking at once, so ill need more help)
    I’ll keep up with you guys, thanks

    Reply
  10. Thank you, David, but I do not know or met anyone in my school. the school is called Red Smith School and they are so many kids in my school and I feel alone only have one friend not so many that is why I feel lonely all by myself

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  11. Hi pls help me out. I’m so shy when I’m with other people in school and outer places but I talk well with my neighboring friends. I have no friends at school and I feel so lonely. I am a young girl pls help. I need confidence

    Reply
    • Being a young girl myself, I understand you. I am really shy with everyone except my close family. I have a few friends and I am trying to make more. I have some advice for making friends: during the school day, just try talking to people and say some icebreaker questions, like ‘How are you?’ or ‘How was your weekend?’, or you could ask some other questions to see if you have similarities between each other. If you find someone where it feels like you just, like, bonded, talk to that person more, and who knows, maybe you guys can be friends! Hopes this helps
      -J

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  12. OK, however when you are over the age of 75YRS you notice from those say, from 30 to 50 become annoyanced of your presence.

    It becomes apparent, to be related to your age and their inability of acceptance of How Vital You Once Were, when Seen by Them, the Last Time They Saw You…MY response is often to go to My Room and Feel Sorry for Myself…

    I

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    • Hi Mary, I am around your age group. I understand how you feel, but I have learned that a Smile 😃 removes annoyance. I believe it also projects approachability.

      N

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    • I understand, I feel as if I am just an annoyance as well.
      I am single as well so I don’t have anyone to talk to on a daily basis. If I talk to my siblings about it they just invalidate my feelings and make me feel worse.

      Reply

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