222 Questions to Get to Know Someone (Casual to Personal)

Here’s a set of questions you can ask to get to know someone.

The guide starts with casual questions that are fitting for an acquaintance or someone you just met. Then we go deeper with personal questions to get to know someone like a friend or a family member, a girl/guy, or even your best friend.

Click below on the part you’re interested in to jump there:

  1. Casual questions
  2. Personal questions
  3. Deep questions
  4. Questions to ask a guy
  5. Questions to ask a girl
  6. Fun questions
  7. Philosophical questions
  8. Questions to get to know a friend
  9. Questions to get to know your best friend

Casual questions to get to know someone

1. What’s your favorite time of the year?
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2. Do you ever binge on TV-shows?
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3. Do you work out?

4. What do you like to eat?
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5. Would you take a trip to outer space?
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6. What’s your favorite cartoon?

7. Do you play any sports?
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8. What’s your drink of choice?
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9. Is there any movie actor you just can’t stand?

10. Do you go for stability or uncertainty?
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11. How often do you go to restaurants?
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12. What are the hobbies you never found time for thus far?

13. What’s your take on all the superhero movies that became so popular lately?
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14. If you could magically learn one language, which one would you pick?
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15. What’s a movie that everyone seems to love which is just whatever for you?

16. Do you think video game tournaments stand any chance of becoming as popular as, say, football?
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17. Are you more of a doer or a thinker?
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18. Generally speaking, hot or cold beverages?

19. Do you ever speak in movie quotes?
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20. iPhone or Android?
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21. Would you like to own a business someday?

22. Can you stand watching cheesy movies?
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23. Are you into collecting?
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24. Sweet or savory?

25. Do you watch TV, Youtube, or other video sites?
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26. Do you believe in horoscopes?
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27. Are you into the meme culture?

28. Do you have any siblings?
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29. What do you think about really old movies and TV shows, stuff that might be considered a bit cheesy nowadays?

You might also be interested in our complete list with good small talk questions or our guide on how to make small talk.

Personal questions to ask to get to know someone

1. Do you often daydream or fantasize about something?
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2. What extracurriculars did you take in school?
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3. Which movie would you say resembles your life the most?

4. Do you ever get deja vu?
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5. What kind of toys did you like as a kid?
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6. Do you vote?

7. Are you careful about the type of media you pay attention to?
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8. Have you ever successfully given up a bad habit?
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9. Would you call yourself a mindful person?

10. Did you get a job in your field after you’ve graduated?
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11. Did you have an imaginary friend as a kid?
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12. Do you ever think of pursuing a new career path?

13. What would you do to pass time if you were shut inside a small cabin, alone for 3 months, high up in the mountains?
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14. Did your family have money when you were growing up?
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15. Is it easy for you not to take sides in family arguments?

16. What do you think about reality TV?
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17. Do you like celebrating your birthday?
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18. What was your favorite game as a kid?

19. Do you care how you’re going to be buried?
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20. Do you keep in contact with your schoolmates?
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21. What portion of a billion dollars would you give to charity?

22. Did you do well in school?
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23. Have you ever stolen from a supermarket?
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24. Do you enjoy the thrill of gambling?

25. What’s your guilty pleasure food?
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26. How much time can you spend bathing?
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27. What was your favorite subject in school?

28. What’s the most dangerous situation you’ve willingly put yourself into?
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29. Do you actively seek comfort in life?
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30. Would you own a gun if it was legal in your country?

Deep questions to ask to get to know someone better

1. What’s your definition of love?
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2. Do you actively try to avoid negative experiences in life?
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3. What stops you from being happier?

4. Could you kill to save your own life?
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5. Do you believe in a bright future for humanity?
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6. Do you have a purpose guiding you through life?

7. Do you often go against yourself?
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8. Have you ever went truly berserk?
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9. Do you ever think about humans going extinct?

10. Would you be afraid of seeing a psychologist?
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11. Do you think violent entertainment causes or prevents real violence?
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12. Were you ever tempted to consciously choose evil over good?

13. Have you ever seriously considered dropping everything and living a simpler life, away from everything?
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14. Do you have an “unfinished” relationship with anyone?
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15. Would you ever date someone with a face tattoo?

16. What do you think about advertisements that target kids?
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17. Are there any people you’d give up your kidney for?
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18. What’s one thing you’d change about yourself?

19. Are you often guilty of not following your own beliefs?
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20. If you had a year left to live, what would you do?
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21. What’s the evilest thing you have ever witnessed?

22. What do you think about vegan activism?
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23. What’s the biggest personality change you’ve undergone?
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24. Would you steal or beg for food if you were homeless with no money, and working was not an option for some reason?

25. Are you concerned by the thought of being spied on by a government or a corporate entity?
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26. Do you think death will come easily?
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27. What do you think about romanticizing crime and debauchery in media?

28. What would you do if you realized you have a relationship with a destructive person?
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29. Do you think any real value can be extracted from shock entertainment such as horror films?

You might also be interested in our guide on how to have deep conversations.

Best questions to ask a guy to get to know him

While most questions in this guide are great to get to know a guy, here are some questions that are more geared toward male identity and gender.

1. Would you want to be present at your child’s birth?
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2. What’s the best birthday gift you ever got?
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3. What makes a man?

4. Would you date someone who had plastic surgery?
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5. What do you think of romantic comedies?
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6. Would you prefer a son or a daughter?

7. When you were a child, did you like your dad or your mom more?
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8. Do you think you’d be a good dad?
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9. How do you feel about beards?

10. Do girls have it easier than guys?
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11. What would you do if your kid came home drunk?
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12. Have you ever been in a fight?

13. How do you feel after an argument?
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14. What’s the craziest thing you did on a dare?
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15. How old were you when you first felt like a man?

Are you unsure if a guy likes you or not? Click here to learn several signs that tell you how he feels about you.

Best questions to ask a girl to get to know her

Here are some questions specifically geared toward female identity and gender.

1. What do you look for in a relationship?
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2. What would you think if a guy spent more time on his looks than you?
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3. What are your dreams for the future?

4. What do you think about guys with long hair?
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5. Did you ever cheat on exams?
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6. Did you have many guy friends in school?

7. What does it mean to be a woman to you?
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8. Would you consider yourself a feminist?
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9. Who is your favorite relative?

10. What’s the most “manly” thing about you?
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11. Do you think a man should be the provider in a family?
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12. How does the idea of giving birth sound to you?

13. Could you ever shave your head?
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14. Do you have a diary?

I also recommend my guide on how to talk to a girl to catch her interest.

Fun questions to ask to get to know someone

These questions are great when you want to start a fun conversation or just have a quick laugh together. Fun questions to get to know someone works great both 1-on-1 and in casual group situations like at a party or when you’re hanging out with friends.

1. Do you have a favorite movie franchise?
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2. Do fish have dreams?
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3. What if all humans lived underwater?

4. Big mugs or small cups?
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5. What’s your craziest party story?
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6. What’s the worst pizza topping?

7. What kind of stage name would you use?
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8. If you lived in a film universe, which one would you choose?
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9. Scratching pimples – yes or no?

10. What’s the worst movie you’ve ever seen?
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11. Do you ever brew a coffee with no intention of drinking it and just let it sit there, being hot and smelling good?
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12. Did you ever feel like you’d be best buddies with someone famous that you never even met?

13. If you had to be eaten by an animal, which one would it be?
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14. Did you have a crush on any of your school teachers?
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15. What would you call your own restaurant and what would be on the menu?

16. Bacon: soft or crispy?
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17. What’s your favorite youtube channel?
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18. If out of nowhere a good-looking stranger suddenly attempted to kiss you somewhere out on the streets, what wouldnyou do?

19. Do you wash dishes right after you eat, or do you pile them up?
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20. Do you know anyone who still uses an old brick phone?
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21. What’s the biggest meal you ever had?

22. Do you know that feeling when one of your favorite products at the supermarket changes flavor, ingredients, packaging, and it’s just never the same?
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23. What’s the worst joke you know?
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24. What’s one thing you know that I definitely don’t?

25. What’s the most ridiculous thing you secretly believed at some point?
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26. Do you know any movie sequels that are better than the original one?
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27. Did you ever have a recurring dream?

28. If you ever wrote a book, what genre would it be?
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29. Which one of the popular conspiracy theories do you think makes the most sense?

You might also like this list of fun questions that work for many other situations.

Philosophical questions to ask to get to know someone

1. If our world was a simulation, would you prefer to know?
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2. Is there good and evil?
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3. Why do people binge on stuff?

4. What would the world be like without alcohol?
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5. Are some people inherently bad?
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6. What is true patriotism?

7. Do the ends always justify the means?
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8. Does censorship solve the problem it’s trying to solve?
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9. What do you think about the world’s cultures homogenizing?

10. Is there anything that’s legal today that should be criminalized?
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11. What do you think about giving money to panhandlers?
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12. If humans ever reached immortality, how do you think they would view us, their mortal predecessors?

13. Do you think the older generation has missed out on not having social media?
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14. What do you think pushes people towards extreme body modification?
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15. What do you think of a policeman doing something illegal for the sake of arresting a known criminal?

16. Would you like to experience something that no one else ever has, no matter how dangerous?
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17. What’s the difference between a religion and a cult?
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18. Is the convenience and safety of civilization worth the pollution that it causes?

19. Would you like to be absolutely perfect in every way possible?
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20. Beyond the body and the mind, do you think that the soul can be damaged?
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21. Do you think that judging people based on their looks makes sense?

22. How do you draw a line between discussing and gossiping?
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23. Can a person truly appreciate a good life without going through something horrific first?
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24. First and foremost, is a dog a friend or a possession?

25. If many of our momentary impulses lead us to bad places, why do they even exist?
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26. If everything would be predestined, is there any point in trying?
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27. How do you think life would be right now if World War 2 was won by the other side?

Best questions to get to know a friend

1. What’s your dream job?
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2. Do you often get deja vu?
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3. What’s more important than work?

4. What was your biggest addiction in life?
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5. Paper, e-books, or audio?
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6. Do you plan far ahead?

7. Do you ever think about retirement and getting older?
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8. Were you afraid of going to the dentist as a kid?
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9. Which song would be like a window into your soul?

10. How’s your health?
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11. What was the most intense physical pain you’ve ever experienced?
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12. Is there any religion that appeals to you which you’re not a part of?

13. What’s your focus in life right now?
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14. When was the last time you created something just for the fun of it?
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15. Do you have any memories from kindergarten?

16. Have you ever wanted to hop on a random train and see where it gets you?
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17. As a kid, were you ever punished for doing exactly as you were told to?
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18. If someone you knew had a hygiene problem, how would you tell them?

19. Do you mind moving between apartments often?
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20. Is there anything besides your phone that you always carry with you?
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21. Do you think the music you listen to affects you on a subconscious level?

22. What’s the longest book you ever read?
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23. Do you like carrying cash?
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24. Do you think that inspiration plays an important role in your line of work?

25. What’s the most useful thing you learned at school?

You might also be interested in our list of 210 questions to ask friends.

Best questions to get to know your best friend

These questions are for someone you can ask almost anything, whether it’s weird, deep, or personal. This will help you to get to know your best friend better.

1. Why do you think we are friends?
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2. Do you know of any schoolmates that went to prison?
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3. Is there anything wrong with our relationship?

4. What was your first love like?
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5. How was your relationship with your siblings when you were young?
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6. Were you ever betrayed by a friend?

7. Do you like using public transport?
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8. How do you see me?
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9. Do you often call your parents?

10. Did you ever bully anyone in school?
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11. If you had kids, what would you do differently from what your parents did?
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12. Who do you think was the true villain in Breaking Bad (or some other tv-series/movie)?

13. How did you come to love this genre of music so much, what’s your story?
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14. Is there anything in my behavior that annoys you regularly?
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15. What’s the most useful thing you’ve learned from your parents?

16. Which traditions of other cultures would you like to be more prominent in your own country?
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17. Did you ever suspect you were adopted?
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18. How do you go about making friends with someone?

19. Do you ever think in abstractions?
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20. Could you share a room with me for a year?
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21. Do you ever feel like you’re playing a character because of the clothes you’re wearing?

22. Do you like your mom’s cooking?
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23. When it came to choosing a career path, did you consider the jobs you dreamt of as a kid?
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24. What disappoints you?

Do you need personal advice?

Describe your situation in the comments below. The more detailed you are, the better chance you have of receiving a reply. You might also want to improve your self-awareness and self-knowledge by asking some deep questions to yourself.

Viktor is a Counselor specialized in interpersonal communication and relationships. He manages SocialSelf’s scientific review board. Follow on Twitter or read more.

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  1. These questions seem really fun to me and useful. I have alot of work to do, right now im 23 and have no friends or girlfriend, im hoping to get better at socializing

    Reply
  2. I’ve been shy practically all my life. I’m turning 22 years soon and there’s nothing that kills my joy more than not being able to socialize. What’s more frustrating is that I even get shy to talk to my family and friends sometimes. Is that even normal? I’m very selective of my words simply because I often try to sound smart – and when I do speak, my nerves come in the way, lose breath and sometimes twist my tongue. I wanna be able to speak confidently. I wanna stop being shy and boring. What do I do? Please help.

    Reply
    • Emily, as a shy person, I can empathize with you. Just know that you are not alone in feeling alone and boring (when I was around your around I thought I didn’t have a personality).

      Don’t hate yourself for being shy — it’s who you are. You can learn to become comfortable around people. The more time you spend around other people, the more comfortable you will feel. Seek out groups that do things you are interested in: book clubs, hiking clubs, Unitarian church, etc. The Toastmasters is a great group to learn and practice public speaking. If you do activities that you enjoy, you will feel more comfortable being around friendly people who enjoy doing the same things.

      Learn about interpersonal communication and relationships — there are many free articles on the web. Get the “Gentle Art of Verbal Self Defense” books by Deborah Tannen. Also, Dale Carnegie “How to Win Friends and Influence People.”

      Learn about positivity and mindfulness to keep you focused and motivated on doing what you want in life and identifying and making changes to negative/destructive thoughts and behavior.

      Search for the YouTube videos by Myra “I Don’t Have Any Friends” and others.

      Don’t let the negative people get you down. You can either share your positive energy with them or ignore them and exclude them from your life.

      Reply

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