337 Questions to Ask a New Friend to Get to Know Them

In this article, we’ve gathered a list of questions that you can use to get to know a new friend better. It’s broken down into different sections so you can find something that fits your situation. Often, the type of questions you’ll ask will depend on how comfortable you are around your new friend.

Sections

  1. Conversation starters
  2. Casual questions
  3. Personal questions
  4. Fun questions
  5. “Would you rather” questions
  6. Deep questions
  7. Questions to ask over text
  8. Career questions
  9. Family questions
  10. Hobby and interest questions
  11. Media and entertainment questions

Conversation starters to ask a new friend

Often, the most challenging part of a conversation is starting it, especially with a new friend. This list will give some ideas for starting a conversation in a lighthearted manner.

1. Hey, how have you been?
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2. How are your studies/work going?
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3. What is keeping you busy these days?

4. If you were to describe yourself with one word, what word would it be?
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5. How has your day been so far?
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6. That’s a nice jacket/top. Where did you get it?

7. Did you change your hairstyle? You look great.
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8. What has been the highlight of your week/day?
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9. The last time we met, you said you were going to work on ABC. How is that going?

10. How is your dog/puppy/cat doing?
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11. The weather is perfect today, what do you think?
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12. Have you done anything interesting lately?

Casual questions to ask a new friend

Getting to know a new friend can be challenging if you don’t know where to start. These questions are a fun and interesting way to get to know your new friend without coming across as too intense.

1. What constitutes a good day for you?
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2. Do you ever look at a person and immediately think, “We couldn’t be friends”?
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3. Are you into music?

4. What is the most interesting conspiracy theory you have ever heard?
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5. Do you enjoy outdoor activities?
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6. Do you have house plants?

7. Do you consider yourself an early riser?
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8. What never fails to make you smile?
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9. What is your favorite takeout spot?

10. Have you ever tried smoking cigarettes?
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11. If you could domesticate any animal, which one would you have as a pet?
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12. What do you look forward to?

13. How long does it usually take you to get off the bed once you wake up?
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14. How do you pick your clothes for the day or an occasion?
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15. Do you enjoy listening to people’s life stories or watching documentaries?

16. Ever got a great deal bidding on an auction item?
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17. Do you consider yourself as someone who is easily offended?
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18. What is your biggest pet peeve?

19. What is your favorite quote?
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20. What do you prefer between driving and being driven around?
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21. What do you prefer between summer and winter?

22. What’s your favorite outdoor activity?
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23. What is your favorite color?
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24. When did you last have a homemade meal?

25. Do you like working out in the gym, or do you prefer hikes and runs?
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26. What is your favorite midnight snack?
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27. What’s your happy place?

28. What is the one thing you do every day without fail?
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29. Of all your teachers at school, who was your favorite?
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30. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you will say?

31. What is your favorite dish to make at home?
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32. Do you prefer shopping IRL or online?
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33. What makes you happy between receiving and giving gifts?

34. What’s one thing that you think is largely underrated?
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35. What’s one thing you usually have a hard time deciding on?
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36. What are you the most thankful for?

37. What do you think about [a music artist’s] new album?

Personal questions to ask a new friend

Interacting with a person is a great way to get to know them at a personal level. Sadly, due to unconscious biases, we are likely to make assumptions about people. Get to know your new friend on a deeper level by asking any of these questions. These questions can be asked the first time you meet.

1. What pronouns do you use?
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2. Are you in a relationship?
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3. What career path are you pursuing, and is it something you have always wanted to do?

4. Have you ever felt like life is too overwhelming?
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5. What is one thing that people joke about that you find offensive?
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6. What would you say to the 5-year-old you?

7. How would you describe your fashion taste?
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8. What’s your favorite music genre?
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9. What is your dream car?

10. Do you like driving or being driven around?
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11. Who was the first person who taught you to drive?
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12. Do you prefer cats or dogs?

13. Would you consider adopting a cat/dog?
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14. What was your very first pet?
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15. Do you currently have a pet?

16. Do you listen to podcasts? If you do, which one is your current favorite?
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17. Are you religious?
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18. How many languages do you speak?

19. Is there a song or a movie that always makes you cry?
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20. Have you ever had serious health problems?
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21. Was it mutual the first time you fell in love?

22. What makes you feel alive?
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23. Was there a lot of bullying in your school?
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24. What’s a trait you appreciate in yourself?

25. Do you ever try to hide from your emotions?
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26. Did you ever have to rebuild a friendship from the ground up?
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27. Do you have an idea of how you might want to die?

28. What scares you about the future?
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29. Are there songs/foods/activities that you had to give up after a breakup because the reminded you too much of that person?
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30. Do you have any irrational fears?

31. Do you consider yourself a patriot?
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32. Have you ever ghosted a friend or been ghosted?
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33. Has a video game ever changed your life?

34. How do you prepare for a serious, perhaps unpleasant conversation?
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35. What was your most difficult goodbye like?
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36. Have you ever been in a toxic relationship?

37. What makes you feel sad?
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38. Do you vote?
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39. If you do vote in the elections, how do you pick who to vote for?

40. What makes you feel lonely?
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41. Do you ever feel old?
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42. How many funerals have you attended?

43. Do you ever give money to beggars?
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44. What creeps you out?
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45. What was your biggest disappointment?

46. Do you feel fulfilled in life?
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47. Have you ever planned to do something bad to someone?
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48. How do you deal with people who try to use you?

49. Were you ever heartbroken?
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50. How often do you go for routine medical checkups?
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51. Are there any particular days you look back on with particular fondness?

52. What’s your everyday carry?
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53. Would you consider thrift shopping?
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54. Which personality traits do you consider cool?

55. Have you ever been scammed?
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56. Did you ever have a scary “I went too far” moment?
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57. How do you imagine yourself when you grow old?

58. Do you ever feel judged by people without even talking to them or interacting in any way?
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59. Is there any responsibility you definitely wouldn’t want to have?
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60. What do you remember as the best moment of your life?

61. What would you change about the way you grew up?
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62. What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever done?
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63. What would you do if you had evidence of someone taking a bribe?

64. Is there anything you currently miss in life that you used to have?
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65. If you were to describe yourself with one word, what word would it be?
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66. What is your favorite restaurant/cafe around town?

67. Is there a fact about you that people find hard to believe?

Once you know each other at a personal level, you might want to consider these questions to ask your friends.

Fun questions to ask a new friend

These funny questions to ask a friend allow you to get to know your new friend in a unique and humorous manner. These are things we would not typically ask, so not only will they help you know your new friend more, but they might also make them smile and laugh.

1.What was the biggest mess you’ve ever made in the kitchen?
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2. How good are you at following recipes when cooking?
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3. If you had to follow just one person on social media, who would it be?

4. Are you afraid of mice?
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5. Could you ever get a tattoo as a joke?
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6. If you were a game character, what game would you be in?

7. Do you have any unusual habits?
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8. What is your favorite swear word?
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9. Do you have a word that really annoys you?

10. What’s the stupidest way to spend one’s time?
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11. What’s the most soda you ever drank in a day?
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12. What do you think is the worst-looking insect?

13. What’s the best part of any trip?
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14. Have you ever dreamed of living in an unusual place, like an evermoving railroad wagon or in some kind of underwater house?
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15. What’s the worst case of Catch-22 you have ever experienced in your life (e.g., you need experience to get the job, but you need the job to get the experience)?

16. Are there any bad things you’ve done that you totally don’t regret?
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17. Have you ever gone bar-hopping?
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18. Do you cut your sandwiches diagonally or straight?

19. What’s the stupidest take on something that you’ve ever heard?
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20. What’s the longest time it ever took you to get off the bed after waking up?
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21. Do you enjoy keeping your social media profiles up-to-date?

22. What’s the most expensive purchase you’ve ever made that you didn’t really need, just because it was something “cool”?
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23. If you were to make a movie/sitcom/series of your life, what would the theme song be?
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24. What are your thoughts on dining and dashing? Would you consider doing it?

“Would you rather?” questions to ask a new friend

Would you rather questions are a great and engaging way to know a new friend. Find out what your new friend will likely choose should they have only two options.

1. Would you rather spend more time hunting for a good deal on something, or just buy it for its regular price and save some time?
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2. Would you rather lose an arm or a leg?
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3. Would you rather get rich or marry “happily ever after”?

4. Would you rather uncontrollably laugh for an hour per day or uncontrollably cry for 20 minutes per day at random times?
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5. Would you rather pee yourself when you’re alone with your boyfriend/girlfriend or in front of 100 strangers?
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6. Would you rather slap your mom or punch your dad?

7. Would you rather go to work and completely automate all the household chores, or never have to work but have to do everything at home manually, with no help from electric appliances?
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8. Would you rather play Russian roulette with Hitler using 1 or 5 bullets?
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9. If you’d stay the same age as you are now, would you rather go back to school or retire right now?

10. Would you rather know the exact time and date you’d die or die in an instant without any warning?
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11. Would you rather write a bestselling book or release a hit song?
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12. Would you rather spend 5 years as a slave doing physical labor or as an inmate in a maximum-security prison?

13. Would you rather lose a middle finger on your left or right hand?
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14. You are far from any road, and your horse is injured. Do you kill it to put it out of its misery or leave it to suffer?
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15. Would you rather be rich and spend your entire life in one city, or be poor but see the world?

16. Would you rather binge-watch all the seasons of a show you hate to get it over with or watch one episode per day?
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17. Would you rather have a wild, unkempt-looking front yard or one that’s well taken care of?
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18. Would you rather write music or play it?

19. If you’d live until 100, would you rather keep the mind OR the body of a 20-year-old?
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20. Would you rather experience new things or be content with what you have already experienced?
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21. Would you rather have a dog or a cat?

22. Would you rather time travel to the past and change it or travel to the future just to see what is there?
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23. Would you rather spend money on experiences or a luxurious item?
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24. Would you rather give hints or be blunt?

Deep questions to ask a new friend

These questions will help you know your new friend at a deeper level. They can arouse some strong emotions. Keep an eye on their body language and change the topic if necessary so you do not make them uncomfortable. Due to the nature of these questions, the best time to ask them is after you have established a friendship and know the basics about each other.

1. What’s more important for living a happy life: having friends or having a partner?
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2. Could you be friends with a criminal?
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3. When were you at your happiest?

4. Have you ever questioned your sexuality?
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5. How do you feel about cultural appropriation?
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6. If you died and got turned into a ghost, do you think you would place the same value on human life?

7. Is getting into a street fight ever worth it?
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9. What kind of change are you hoping for in society?
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10. Do you ever enjoy negative emotions?

11. Do you have any regrets?
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12. What would you change if you could do it all over again?
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13. How much of our perception of this world do you think is an illusion?

14. Have you ever connected with someone over a mutual tragedy or mishap?
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15. Do you ever feel out of touch with the younger generation?
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16. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

17. Do you ever feel grateful for the things you have?
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18. What would you do if you were to be falsely accused of something?
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19. Our universe ceases once you die. But you can save it by sacrificing yourself here and now.

20. Do you live out your last days knowing that you’ve doomed everyone, or do you save existence at the cost of your own life?
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21. What’s your view on assisted suicide?
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22. Would you report one of your parents to the authorities if you found out that they accidentally killed someone?

23. Your pet and a stranger’s eight-year-old kid are both drowning. Which one do you save first?
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24. Do you think violence on TV affects people?
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25. Is there anything you dislike about me? If so, what could I do about it?

26. What do you think about religion in general?
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27. Are you genuinely happy with where you are right now in life?
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30. Have you ever been suicidal?

31. Have you ever struggled with poor mental health?
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32. Is there a history of mental illness in your family?
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33. How do you control anger?

34. What is your biggest regret in life?
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35. Have you always followed your passion, or did you do what your parents wanted you to do?
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36. Did you ever experience some form of abuse?

37. Have you ever bullied someone?
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38. Under what circumstances do you think it is okay for one to cheat on their partner?
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39. Would you consider being in an open relationship?

40. If your mom/dad came out to you as trans, how would you handle that?
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41. Do you think people in prison deserve education and voting rights?
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42. Do you think it is fair to have the jury make legal decisions considering that they are just people who likely do not have any legal background?

43. Do you think accumulating debt to pursue a college/university degree is worth it?
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44. Have you ever dented someone’s car and left without leaving your details?
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45. If a good friend of yours had bad breath, how would you tell them?

You might also be interested in this list with deep questions to ask your friends.

Questions to ask a new friend over text

Sometimes conversations run dry over text. This list of questions will save you from awkwardly exchanging emojis and help keep the conversation going while getting to know your new friend.

1. If you were to open a store, what would you sell?
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2. You’re out on the river in a one-person boat. Do you wear a life jacket?
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3. Do you think media piracy should be a crime?

4. Do you have a “type” of person that you go for?
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5. What are the most important traits you look for when considering dating someone?
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6. Has anyone ever taken credit for your efforts?

7. What’s one thing you wish that you could unsee?
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8. What DIY project have you done that you’re most proud of?
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9. What is your most marketable skill?

10. Do you take care to leave a public toilet in the same state it was when you entered it?
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11. What’s one thing that’s best done spontaneously?
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12. What belief of yours are you most confident in?

13. If you could change one thing about society, what would it be?
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14. Ever feel like you’re in Groundhog Day?
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15. What’s the most plausible conspiracy theory you know?

16. Which language looks the most beautiful on paper?
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17. Do you feel a part of any community, online or offline?
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18. Did a celebrity death ever make you cry?

19. Are you much of a risk-taker?
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20. Back in school, have you ever won an argument with a teacher?
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21. What’s the most memorable place you’ve been to?

22. Can you write an emoji story?

Career questions to ask a new friend

A career is a big part of many people’s lives. In some cases, our line of work shapes how we view and understand the world. These questions will help you understand where your new friend is in terms of their career and what their goals are.

1. What is your current career path?
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2. At what age did you get your first job?
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3. Are you pursuing your dream job?

4. Would you consider working in the same field your whole life?
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5. If you were to choose, would you prefer to work from home or go to the office?
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6. How do you create a productive environment when working from home?

7. Do you ever consider changing your profession?
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8. How often do you check your work messages?
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9. Do you often feel like you know exactly what you’re doing?

10. How would you feel about working a night shift?
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11. If you were in charge of hiring, would you ever hire someone with a felony conviction on their criminal record?
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12. Do you feel like working is a burden?

13. Would you leave a field you’re passionate about to flip burgers for the rest of your life if flipping burgers magically paid ten times more for some reason?
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14. Do you need someone to control your work for you to stay productive?
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15. What is the most difficult part of a project for you?

16. Do you have any career-related regrets?
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17. Does perfectionistic thinking ever hold you back?
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18. What’s the biggest amount of work you’ve ever lost by forgetting to save a file?

19. If you won the lottery today and have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of your life, would you still work?
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20. As a child, what was your dream job?
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21. How would you describe your perfect day at work?

22. At what age would you like to retire?

Family questions to ask a new friend

What better way to know a person than by knowing their family background? This list of questions will help you understand the dynamics of your new friend’s family as well as their values regarding family relationships.

1. Are you more like your mother or like your father?
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2. Who’s the funniest person in your family?
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3. Do you have any siblings?

4. Do you get along with your siblings?
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5. Do you have a family member who you’d consider a close friend?
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6. Was there ever a family member you avoided for any reason?

7. Do you find it easy to pick presents for close family members?
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8. Do you have that one family member who can never shut up at family gatherings?
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9. Do you know much about your family lineage?

10. Would you say you have a happy family?
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11. What kind of relationships are more important to you than family?
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12. Do you have anything to talk about with your grandparents, or do you struggle to keep even a basic conversation going?

13. Do you think being a grandparent would be fun?
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14. Do you ever get embarrassed by your family members’ behavior?
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15. What do you enjoy doing the most with your parents?

16. Do you have any family members who push their outdated worldview on you?
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17. Do family members often get you good gifts?
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18. What personality traits do you have in common with your family members?

19. Would you like to get married?
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20. Would you consider having children? If so, how many?
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21. What are your thoughts on adoption and fostering?

22. Under what circumstances (if any) would you consider cutting ties with your family?
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23. How would you describe the ideal family environment for a child?
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24. What is your favorite family tradition?

25. What is the one family tradition you would like to start with your family should you decide to have children?
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26. Does your family still live in the same house you lived in as a child?
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27. At what age do you think children should move out?

28. In your family, who do you think knows you best?
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29. How would you describe an ideal distribution of chores in a house?
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30. Do you think parents should punish children? If so, how?

31. What are your thoughts on parents expecting their children (over 18 years) to pay rent?

Hobby and interest questions to ask a new friend

These questions will help you discover your new friend’s interests. You might find out that the two of you have shared hobbies you might want to explore together!

1. What is your all-time favorite hobby?
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2. How would you describe your perfect weekend?
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3. What is one thing you were scared to try at first, but you realized that you enjoyed it after trying it?

4. As a child, what was your favorite thing to do when you were not at school?
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5. What is the one social thing you do because of social pressure that you don’t really enjoy?
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6. What’s a hobby you’d like to pick up but probably never will?

7. Which trends do you follow?
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8. Do you like flea markets?
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9. How do you usually discover new music?

10. Do you prefer your friends to have the same interests as you, or is it not that important?
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11. Do you like retro stuff?
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12. How often do you upgrade your PC?

13. Have you ever tried fasting?
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14. What’s the most difficult book you’ve ever read?
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15. What’s your favorite decade of fashion?

16. If you could time travel, which decade would you go to and why?
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17. Do you like attending events or staying in?
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18. Do you get the appeal of skateboarding?

19. What’s the most mainstream thing you like?
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20. Which activity is the most reliably fun for you?
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21. What’s the longest time you’ve spent searching for one particular thing on the internet?

22. Is there a hobby you’re not getting into because it’s too expensive?
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23. If money was no object and you were to get into collecting something, what would you go for?

Media and entertainment questions to ask a new friend

With a broad and diverse pool of media at our disposal, it can be challenging to know precisely what perceptions and views your friends, family, or colleagues uphold regarding movies, music, and entertainment. These questions are a great way to know your new friend’s entertainment interests. Answers to these questions will provide you with a basic understanding that will come in handy when planning some hang-out sessions.

1. What was the last movie you watched?
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2. What is the one app you’ve spent the most time on?
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3. Can you survive only using your phone for 30 minutes per day?

4. If you were to have a blog, what would it be about?
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5. Who is your favorite artist?
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6. If you were to choose one and never get access to the others, what would you choose between movies, books, and music?

7. Considering that most authors are publishing online, do you think the traditional publishing industry is dying?
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8. What music genre do you think is underrated?
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9. What is the worst movie you’ve ever watched?

10. What are your thoughts on reality shows?
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11. Would you consider being on a reality show?
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12. Do you think the music industry is getting better or worse?

13. Do you like any underground artists?
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14. Do you like bad movies?
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15. What’s the most crucial element of a movie?

16. What do you consider when picking a movie to watch?
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17. Do you like anime? And manga?
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18. Do you ever feel scared to recommend someone a movie because they may not like it?

19. What’s your favorite setting for a novel or a movie?
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20. Do you approve of popcorn in movie theaters?
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21. How do you feel about CGI vs. practical effects?

22. What’s one TV show/band/etc. that you think has been going downhill over the years?
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23. Do you ever buy DVDs or Blu-rays anymore?
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24. Do you prefer big-budget movies or smaller, independent creations?

25. What’s the best thing about YouTube?
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26. What’s the most beautiful-looking film scene of all time?
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27. Do you see a difference between movies that are shot on digital vs. film cameras?

28. What’s the most annoying movie theater behavior?
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29. Have you ever snuck in snacks at a movie theater?
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30. Are there any movie quotes that made their way into your regular vocabulary?

Once you are done with these questions, check out this list of questions to get to know someone.

David Morin is the founder of SocialSelf. He's been writing about social skills since 2012. Follow on Twitter or read more.

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