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How to Double Your Confidence in 5 Minutes

The science behind the experiment

In our course “How to Talk to People & Make Friends With Them“, you’ll learn how to talk to people and connect with them—even if you don’t know what to say or get stuck in endless small talk.

How will you use what you learned in this video clip? Share in the comments below! If someone writes something you agree with, let them know you have their support!

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466 Comments

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  1. Somewhere in all this, I read that ADHD might be a contributing factor to our plight. I’ve never been diagnosed but I show many signs, mainly the inability to focus, here it’s in regards to not knowing how to pay attention to a person when they are talking to me. I do get bored sometimes and I hate it. It probably shows what makes people not want to talk to me. This, in turn, makes me, even more, self-conscious and it’s all a vicious cycle. I try too hard. I recently learned I have several narcissistic tendencies which also doesn’t help matters. I’m still at the point of acceptance but I want to move forward and be real and caring and not bored or boring because I need people in my life.

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  2. Where is the part where you charge $$$$$$$$? Actually for me it feels like some people do not want to be talked to, or they like hearing themselves talk, and think my questions to show interest are stupid. They just want to hear themselves talk?

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  3. at first, I can not speak to a human being. this is a given and it is impossible for me to change it. the only way that is easy for me is sometimes to write my thoughts on a web page, which I have found. but I do not want to start any dialogue, not even through the internet, with text messages.

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  4. Thank you for helping me control my nervousness. I was wondering if you can help me with a very hard problem. My face is deformed due to some bad plastic surgery results. Unfortunately,I am unable to fix this problem. People just dismiss me when they see me. I have not had a friend in manny, manny years. I am so lonely. My life feels so empty. I was wondering if you can help me with my problem.

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    • Ohhh hi Bonnie. My name is Ellen and I just read your comment. It made me sad.
      I am so sorry that you had plastic surgery that was botched, and would probably get that fixed because you need to get your confidence back. Do research. There’s got to be someone out there to make you look and feel beautiful again. I would be your friend if you lived by me.
      Sincerely, Ellen

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      • Thank you so much for reaching. I have tried to get the problem fixed but I do not think that will happen. It is very complicated. I have been wearing my mask for over. A year and this is the only time in many years that I am not afraid to go somewhere. thanks, Ellen for your concern

  5. So here’s my deal. I do a fair amount of public appearances in my community, so I’ve had to coach myself (through tutorials, etc.) to have a good stage presence. My problems arrive when I’m off stage and people want to talk to me.
    I want to be friendly and personable, but I’m always afraid someone is going to try to be my new bff and contact me all of the time. Because of this, I get really hedgy. I wish I could be warm with people without giving them the idea that they’re welcome to call me up anytime or otherwise invade my life later on. I do care. I’m just spread really thin, and I hate it when I can see that my distancing makes people feel bad think I’m “aloof.” It seems that in real life, I’m not that warm, kind person they saw on the stage. I’ve compensated for this by disappearing as soon as I can, but I know that’s not the answer. Any suggestions?

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  6. I mean… it’s not really what I’m struggling with but alright ???? it’s more just when I’m talking with my friends and when I’m trying to contribute with the conversation and a lot of the time no matter how much I repeat myself they never seem to hear ???? I’ve heard about what I might be doing wrong but I don’t think it’s true, because one person in my friend group always talks about herself is a huge pessimist and gets mad if we don’t listen yet she’s pretty much always at the center of attention there must be something else I’m doing wrong

    Lol I know none of you really care about some Joe shmoe on the internet’s problems ???? I just wanted to get that off my chest ????

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    • I don’t know if you noticed this but you ended with a negative comment about yourself. Thinking that people wouldn’t care about some Joe Schmoe on the internet…..I think some people get uncomfortable with comments like that because they think either A)this person is fishing for sympathy or validation or B)this person has very low self-esteem and many people aren’t sure how to respond to comments like that. So, I’m not sure if you didn’t realize that you did that and maybe you do it often unintentionally and that’s why people act like they don’t hear you?

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  7. I will use this from now on, I think I have reached the point where I am tired of hiding in the crowd avoiding direct conversation. OFC is my new motto for meeting others.

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  8. I like this initiative a lot, from now on I will use the technique. Right now I’m suffering from severe social anxiety disorder and this also led to my depression, glossophobia, nyctophobia ….etc.(yep I have many phobias) . I lived in terror of this social Anxiety disorder for up to 12+ years but now I think this is enough. I could have even made a lake of the tears I shed in my life.
    now I really am angry as to why I am a soft speaker. I’m sick and tired of repeating 1 thing many times to the person ahead cause they cant listen. the best friend I have always dominated me she always shouts at me furiously in front of everybody and makes the air awkward for me, never lets me make new friends if someone new tries to ask me something, my heart beats too fast, and I feel like praying that the earth will break open and gulp me inside very very far from this social world. oh wow I feel good after sharing this. but now I will try and bid sadness goodbye.

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    • In my opinion, you should stay away from those friends that never give you a chance to talk or show who you are. You’ll be better at social interaction as long as you stay with those who give you value.

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  9. This is awesome. I was already doing this before learning about the OFC term, but now I’m going to actually take this technique and use it in a social setting

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  10. As for me I have it bad people talking around me in a circle and I’ll be just quit nervous and all I do is smile and laugh if it’s funny but I also feel like nobody likes me cause I’m quite they don’t even talk to me something so I just feel more nervous I often feel alone as will even though I have my husband I just feel like I’m boring must of the time I just look at it like I’m different from the others and I wanna sometimes be like other people like laughing talking and stuff like they do but just gets to me that I start hating my self and going down into my depression stage and people don’t understand what we go through because they not like us …

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  11. I always find myself not laughing and enjoy peoples jokes. Talking more of myself and family. From a gathering come back with no friends even if i talke
    d to a lot

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