The science behind the experiment
In our course “Fast Friend Protocol“, you’ll learn how to talk to people and connect with them—even if you don’t know what to say or get stuck in endless small talk.
How will you use what you learned in this video clip? Share in the comments below! If someone writes something you agree with, let them know you have their support!
Hi. I find it hard to keep a conversation going when I get nothing back from the other person. Any tips?
That’s a tough one, if you get nothing back, it’s almost impossible because that means they don’t want to talk (or they are really nervous/stiff/shy).
The question is why you don’t get anything back? Is it because you don’t show interest in them and only talk about what you find interesting? Is it a new person or someone you know from before? I’d start looking at the reasons why you get nothing back and trying to experiment with different approaches there. Like showing more interest in others, asking more follow-up questions, and see if that changes something.
Learn to read body language instead, be curious about body language. For example is the other person’s feet facing straight towards you or pointing away from you. The person you are talking to can sometimes choose to remain silent but they are sure unable to hide body language signs. If the feet are pointing towards you then there is interest but the person is too nervous to talk to you. Try to talk about something non personal at this juncture in order to open a conversation. If the feet are pointing away from you, then they are not interested in a talk. The reason is not always you, it might be that they had a bad day at work. Thinking it’s always about you is being self centered.
Thank u David
Thanks for watching! 🙂
Great video, hope this will help me because am just socially shy and I find it hard to talk to strangers. Am eager to watch more and ready to practice.
I think you’re interesting.
This is amazing !
thank you so much for doing this, i`m really excited to see whats comming next
Great video! Excited to see the rest
Glad you liked it! I think you’ll like the rest 🙂
Awesome video! Thank you.
Thanks!
Freakin amazing. And for free, it’s almost like a dream.
Dreams come true. Just believe in yourself.
I agree fantastic film clip
Good Coaching will do it everytime..
You have what I call wisdom.
I am looking for suggestions how to help adult daughter who is hyper talker.
It is hard to be around her because she talks so fast ; I want to say stop and breathe!
Thank you for any suggestions.
Phyllis
Let her be when she needs to be. Maybe ask her to use her words more carefully. You might find that it’s poetry in motion.
Please can you help me to be a better communicator with my wife after being put down and receiving what may be considered unhealthy criticism for 5yrs .
Open your eyes to her. See her for what she could be.
It all make sense can you Help me to communicate with my wife and build heathy borders to prevent being talked down to .
I was sent this video by my wife. I received a lot of great insight to a few things to work on like eye contact and confidence. As I said i suffer at communication due ito a lack of confidence. And being talked down to like a child when a parent constantly tells them they will never be anything.
What do you when you don’t what to talk about
We’ve written a guide about that here: https://socialself.com/start-conversation/
First of all I’m participating in this because I love my wife and out of pure respect for her feelings am I willing to try it. So with that said here we go.
Say anything.
This makes absolute sense. Just allow the body to do what it wants and accept it really helps me. Thank you! I will practice and apply.
Nice and thank you. It is a start
I have no quams with admitting I’m wrong because I can’t know it all . I admit that I have room for improvement so if she thinks it will help I’m willing to try it with my whole heart. My communication skill suck. Due to some things such as a put downs and a few others. A once social butterfly has went back into the cacoon can you help me now that you’ve been more informed of my situation?
Patience is a virtue. Never stop improving yourself. I prefer meditation myself.
I will try it on a person at work that I am attracted to every time o see her my heart rise and my mouth stops.
I know that I am confident, but I tend to second-guess myself and get anxious, especially when conversating with people I’m not too familiar with, while also speaking at a fast pace (bad habit I have around anyone). I want more awareness of myself in a conversation(in general; like dos and don’ts) while also increasing my focus on the other person in a curious way. Thank you for these videos!
Good goals Amy, I see you have already thought about this topic quite a bit already which is great. Being aware and acknowledging our problems is always the first step. 🙂
I too will work on my goals and have confidence in my decisions. Regardless of what others think. I will build heathy borders and not shut down.
Same story here! Sometimes I’m really confident, positive and assertive; other times I feel myself quite fragile and couldn’t handle even a conversation with the colleague I know..
Great video! The first one of about 50 articles I have read on the topic so far.
Thank you & looking forward for the next ones
I have the same problem. It feels like whenever i want to meet someone it is more forced. I also have problem with small talk and don’t know how to get through it. Awkward silences are also something that happen a lot 🙁
This is great. I’m wondering how it applies to those conversations with people that aren’t total strangers but you also don’t feel comfortable with. I find I have difficulty being in my own head less with strangers and more with people I’m “supposed to” know well or be able to keep conversation with.
Same thing with my teenage daughter! I am hoping to help her to be more comfortable with her classmates. She can connect better with people she just met than those she has known for years.
Wow it’s a awesome video,I guess I need to practice. Thanks for sharing with us.
Glad you enjoyed it! Let me know how it goes!
Am 61 years old, trying to relate to people in their 20’-50’ age group. It a one week event every year. Everyone seems to know each other. Having trouble trying to fit in.
First of all it’s good hanging out with young people. If this time you don’t get too much acceptance by the tribe, it’s just a sign you need to do this more often. I know a 96 year old lawyer who teaches just to stay connected to young people. Find avenues where you can connect with young. Go to a local couchsurfing weekly meeting, if there is none try starting one in your town or city. Be the organizer lend your experience to help young connect.
It helped me in a little way but please do send more videos to me
Thank you so much
Yes please you have some great ideas
thank you.
Thanks!!It is really helpful. OFC
Pls more videos
Working on it! 🙂
Hope this helps me out! It’s hard but it’s worth it.
It gets easier with more practise 🙂 Keep going!
good video! I just thing that the concept of self image and subjective priority regarding what one considers as good characteristics about oneself are big factors as well. e.g i meet a new person and i think that I am a very attractive person and at the same time i think that my good looks help a lot in making people like me and that helps me feel comfortable in such a situation i will feel confident with regards to my looks, but in another situation say i think looks make people like me but i don’t think of myself as an attractive person then i will not be confident. a solution in this case will be to change my perspective to thinking that my looks do not matter and what i say matters more, then regardless of my looks i will feel comfortable that is if i am a confident speaker.
Thanks a lot as a somewhat average looking person this helped me be more confident when making conversations with people.
What a gift, thank you for your work and for sharing.
This makes so much sense. Thank You!!!!!!
It works. By just staying curious with what the other person is saying, i sometimes found myself really interested in our topic.
It’s very nice, thank you.
Great video!
Great video
Hi David,
I’ve recently went through a rough job change that led me to start having anxiety, depression and panic attacks, eventually I left to preserve my well being.
Since then, I’ve been having massive difficulty in Social relationship, with friends, loved ones and specially strangers. Always getting self conscious and constantly anxious.
Your tips look very helpful, thanks for sharing this!