306 Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend (To Deepen Your Bond)

Regardless of how long you’ve been dating, there is always more for you to learn about your girlfriend.

Asking good questions is a great way to learn more about your girlfriend’s past, future, quirky personality traits, and most importantly, whether or not you and her are compatible enough to last long term.

Some of the following conversation starters will require some vulnerability to ask, but don’t be afraid to put yourself out there. Connecting with your partner on a deeper level requires open communication and a deep understanding of one another, and these are the questions that will help you to cultivate a deeper and more meaningful relationship.

Of course, there are also times when less serious conversation is more appropriate as well. If all you want to do is have a laugh together or find some fun questions to ask over text to keep conversation stimulating and enjoyable, the last few categories in this article will be perfect for you.

Have fun asking the following 308 best questions to ask your girlfriend for every occasion.

Sections

  1. Important and serious questions
  2. Deep questions to ask your girlfriend
  3. Romantic questions to ask your girlfriend
  4. Cute questions to ask your girlfriend
  5. Fun questions to ask your girlfriend
  6. Flirty questions to ask your girlfriend over text
  7. Flirty questions to ask your girlfriend in person
  8. Intimate questions to ask your girlfriend
  9. Questions to ask your girlfriend about yourself
  10. Questions about her
  11. Random questions to ask your girlfriend
  12. Weird questions to ask your girlfriend
  13. Hard questions to ask your girlfriend
  14. Truth or dare questions for your girlfriend
  15. Common questions and important considerations

Important and serious questions

Relationship compatibility

When you have just started dating someone new, it is important to ask questions that will help you to gauge whether or not you two have potential to be together long term. While chemistry and connection is possible with a lot of people, it can be a little trickier to find long-term compatibility. The following questions will help you figure out if you and your new girlfriend have long-term potential.

1. Are you someone who prefers adventure or routine?
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2. How important is healthy living to you?
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3. Do you believe in a 50/50 relationship when it comes to finances?

4. Do you want to have kids? If yes, how many?
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5. Where do you picture yourself settling down?
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6. Do you prefer staying home or going out?

7. Are you religious?
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8. How do you feel about your partner having friends of the opposite sex?
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9. How openly do you communicate?

10. What is your love language?

About your relationship

Whether you have been with your girlfriend for a long or short time, it’s always a good idea to check in and see how both of you are feeling about your connection. There is always room for improvement, and by being aware of the areas that could use some improvement and committing to changing them, you have the opportunity to deepen your relationship.

1. Is there anything about our relationship that you would like to change?
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2. Do you think that we could argue better?
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3. What quality of our connection do you value the most?

4. Do I make you feel seen and appreciated?
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5. What is your favorite way that I support you?
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6. What’s your happiest memory with me?

7. Can you see us being together long-term?
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8. What did you think about me when we first met?
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9. What’s your love language?

10. Do you wish that I planned more dates for us?

Serious questions to ask your girlfriend about the future

It’s important to make sure that you and your girlfriend are on the same page when it comes to your shared goals for the future. Getting on the same page about goals for the future is a powerful way to make them come to life, and once you have a shared dream for the future, you can both work towards it together. Find out what the future has in store for you and your significant other with the following good questions.

1. What are your goals in our relationship?
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2. What would you love for us to accomplish together over the next year?
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3. What is your biggest fear in our relationship?

4. Where do you see us in five years?
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5. Do you want to retire? If so, where?
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6. If you could look into your future, what is one thing you would want to see?

7. What are your financial priorities?
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8. What is your number one personal goal for the next 12 months?
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9. How do you want people to remember you?

10. Is it important to you to have a lot of money?

Questions to ask before moving in together

It’s important to have conversations about expectations for life together before you decide to move in with one another. Seemingly small things can end up being big issues in a relationship once you have to deal with them every day, so it’s important to make sure that you have similar views on how you imagine your home life to be. Use these 10 questions to figure out if moving in together is the right step in your relationship.

1. How important is a clean house to you?
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2. What is our intention for living together?
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3. How do you picture a day in our lives together?

4. When bad stuff has happened in the past, do you feel like we handled it as a team?
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5. Do you like to entertain guests or prefer the house to yourself?
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6. How important is your alone time?

7. Who’s apartment will we live in, or will we find something new?
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8. Who is going to pay for what?
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9. What are your household pet peeves?

10. Is waking up early in the morning important to you?

Questions to ask before getting engaged

Getting married is one of the biggest commitments you can make in your life. Whether out of shyness or a desire to keep the mystery alive, a lot of couples forgo asking the right questions before marriage and end up marrying someone that isn’t a right fit for them. Knowing that your partner has what it takes to be a good partner and possibly parent is something that is important to figure out before you pop the big question, and the following questions will help you to do so.

1. How did your family deal with big conflict? Do you still deal with conflict the same way?
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2. How much do you imagine us spending on material goods?
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3. If we have children, how do you envision your role as a parent?

4. Are you prepared to be monogamous for the rest of your life?
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5. Can you see us being good parents together?
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6. How important is family to you?

7. Do you want to celebrate any religious holidays?
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8. Do you want a relationship where we do everything together or have a lot of autonomy?
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9. How do you feel about my parents?

10. How important do you see sex being to you?

Deep questions to ask your girlfriend

If you want to get to know your girlfriend on a deeper level, it’s important to ask the right deep questions. Asking the following questions will allow you to understand your partner better, and this will allow you to create a relationship that is full of love and deep intimacy.

1. What was the hardest day of your life?
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2. If your 15-year-old self saw you now, do you think she would be proud of you?
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3. What is your biggest fear?

4. What aspect of your life do you find the most fulfilling?
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5. What about yourself do you feel the most shame about?
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6. What ways do you think your parents failed you as caregivers?

7. Have you ever felt like just giving up?
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8. What is your saddest childhood memory?
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9. What motivates you to work hard?

10. Do I ever make you feel bad about yourself?
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11. When do you feel the most free?
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12. What is one dream you beat yourself up for not pursuing?

13. Is there anything from your past relationships that still haunts you today?
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14. What’s the best piece of advice you’ve gotten this year?
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15. What is your favorite childhood memory?

16. Has anyone ever broken your trust beyond repair?
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17. What’s one of your proudest accomplishments?
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18. Have you ever struggled with mental illness?

19. Have you ever been in an abusive relationship?
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20. Did your parents do a good job demonstrating what healthy love looks like?

Romantic questions to ask your girlfriend

Asking romantic questions to your girlfriend can sometimes feel intimidating, but if you pucker up the courage, chances are she will absolutely love the conversations that they spark. When you aren’t together, they are great to ask over text, and are a wonderful addition to your next date night. These are good, flirty questions to ask and are bound to give you both butterflies.

1. Do I still make your heart race?
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2. Can you imagine us as a little old couple together?
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3. When did you know you were in love with me?

4. What in our relationship do I do that makes you the happiest?
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5. What would be the best way for us to spend a rainy afternoon?
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6. What is your favorite way for us to relax together?

7. How do you want to be proposed to?
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8. Do you believe in soul mates?
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9. Are relationships meant to last forever?

10. What makes you feel sexy?
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11. When we’re apart, what is the thing you miss most about me?
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12. Do you remember the first time we met?

13. How would you feel about spending all day in bed with me?
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14. Do you know how beautiful I think you are?
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15. How do you feel when you see that you’ve got a text from me?

16. What do I do for you that makes you feel the most loved?
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17. What do you love most about yourself?
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18. What kind of wedding do you want?

Cute questions to ask your girlfriend

Getting to know your girlfriend better should be fun and enjoyable. Whether you want to lift her spirits on a bad day or just put a smile on your girlfriend’s face, these are the perfect questions for you. They are great to ask over text and will definitely have your girlfriend smiling at her phone all day.

1. Have I told you how cute I think you are yet today?
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2. Do you trust me with your whole heart?
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3. How do you feel when we hold hands?

4. Do I still give you butterflies?
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5. Would you rather work or spend the afternoon with me?
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6. Do you know just how happy you make me?

7. Do you feel grateful to be with me? I’m grateful to be with you.
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8. What’s a song that reminds you of our relationship?
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9. What do you daydream about?

10. Did you ever sleep with stuffed animals when you were a kid?
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11. Who do you call when you’re having a bad day?
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12. What’s your favorite nickname that I’ve given you?

13. What is the nicest compliment anyone has ever given to you?
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14. What’s one similarity between us that you love?
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15. What do you think is your most loveable quality?

16. How much do you miss me when we’re not together?
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17. If I was a flower, what would I be?
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18. What song do you think best describes you?

Fun questions to ask your girlfriend

Not everything has to always be so serious. Sometimes the best way to spend time with your significant other is to just kick back, relax, and enjoy some lighthearted conversation together. These fun questions are great to ask when you are feeling bored and want to have a fun, playful conversation.

1. If you were a man for a day, what would you do?
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2. What is the worst date you’ve ever been on?
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3. What can you never have too much of?

4. Do you talk to yourself a lot?
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5. Would you ever go on a reality TV show?
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6. Worst pick-up line a guy has ever used on you? Did it work?

7. Did you ever go through an emo phase when you were younger?
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8. What fictional character would you choose as your best friend?
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9. What’s the weirdest crush you’ve ever had?

10. How long would you survive during a zombie apocalypse?
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11. What is the funniest conversation you’ve ever overheard?
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12. What is something you just can’t believe people enjoy?

13. If you found out a guy slept with a stuffed animal, how would you feel about it?
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14. Do you think ghosts are real?
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15. Could you ever date a guy who’s a foot shorter than you?

16. If you died tomorrow, would you rather I date your best friend or someone you can’t stand?
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17. What was one of the times that you laughed the hardest?
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18. What actor would you cast to play you in a movie about your life?

19. What’s a book or movie that you’re embarrassed to admit you love?
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20. Have you ever been to a palm reader?
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21. What’s one quirky quality you have that not many people know about?

Flirty questions to ask your girlfriend while texting

When you spend time away from your significant other, whether it’s just for the day or for a more prolonged amount of time, flirtatious questions are a great way to keep the connection feeling fiery and fun. The following questions are perfect to use while texting with your girlfriend and will definitely give her butterflies.

1. Would you rather snuggle or make love all night?
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2. Do you know how obsessed I am with you?
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3. What color panties are you wearing right now?

4. What would you want to do if we were together right now?
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5. Would you ever wear lingerie for me?
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6. Would you go to a nude beach with me?

7. What made you fall in love with me?
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8. What fictional character reminds you most of me?
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9. What is the best way to wake up?

10. Do you ever daydream about me?
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11. Do you prefer kissing or cuddling me?

Flirty questions to ask your girlfriend in person

Asking the right questions is the perfect way to set a mood that is fun and flirtatious. Although it might feel scary to ask some of these questions, don’t be afraid. By looking lovingly into the eyes of your girlfriend and asking the following questions, you can create a fiery connection that can be enjoyed by both of you.

1. Do you know how badly I want to kiss you right now?
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2. Do you know how beautiful you are?
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3. Do I ever make you nervous still?

4. What is something that sets me apart from other people?
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5. What always puts a smile on your face?
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6. Where do you think would be my favorite place to eat chocolate off of you?

7. What is the first thing you think when you see me?
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8. What do you think is my best physical feature?
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9. Who is your favorite person in the world?

10. Is there anything about me that you find irresistible?

Intimate questions to ask your girlfriend

These questions are definitely on the personal side, so you have to be intentional about when you ask them. But when asked at the right time and place, asking these meaningful questions will give you the opportunity to get to know your girlfriend a lot better. Improve your intimate relationship with your significant other with the following questions.

1. What is your idea of a perfect relationship?
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2. When was the last time you cried?
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3. What are some ways that I can make you feel more intimately connected to me?

4. Do you have any regrets?
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5. What is the closest you’ve ever felt to me?
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6. What goals do you have for us?

7. Who is your role model in love?
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8. How do you describe me to other people?
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9. Do you think that we met each other for a reason?

10. What’s something you’ve always wanted to say to me but haven’t?
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11. Can you see yourself spending the rest of your life with me?
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12. Have you ever cheated on an ex? How did you feel about it after?

13. Has there ever been a time when you’ve been tempted to give up on love?
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14. Do you consider yourself to be a selfish person?
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15. What is a weakness of yours that you are working to overcome right now?

16. Do you hold grudges?
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17. What makes you feel jealous?
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18. How would you want to spend your perfect weekend?

19. Is there anything you feel like you’re missing in your life right now?
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20. What makes you feel emotional?
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21. Do you let fear hold you back in your life often?

22. What brings you the most joy?

Questions to ask your girlfriend about yourself

It doesn’t matter if your love language is words of affirmations or not, it’s always nice to be uplifted by sweet words from your partner. These questions are a great way to get your significant other thinking about you and your relationship, and regardless of her answers, sharing the answers to these questions with one another will have a positive impact on deepening the connection you share.

1. What physical appearance of mine do you find the most attractive?
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2. What’s your favorite part of being with me?
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3. What do you think would be my dream date?

4. How can I be a better partner to you?
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5. Do you think that you can read me well?
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6. What is my worst habit?

7. What was your first impression of me?
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8. What did you think about our first kiss?
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9. If we were stranded on a desert island, what luxury item do you think I would want?

10. What do you think is my greatest strength?
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11. What quality of mine do you find the most attractive?
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12. What do you think is my greatest weakness?

13. Do I make you feel safe?
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14. What do you think would be the perfect job for me?
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15. What about me made you decide you want to be with me?

16. Do you think I would be a good father?
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17. How comfortable do you feel around me?
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18. What is one habit you think would be beneficial for me to change?

19. Do you think that you know me well?

Questions about her

Showing interest in your partner by asking her intimate questions is a great way to show her that you’re dedicated to the relationship and really want to understand her on a deeper level.

Questions about her past

All of us have such unique pasts that influence so much of who we are and how we show up in the world. Whether you are just getting serious with your girlfriend or have been together for years, there is always more that you can learn about her, and these questions will help you to uncover more of who she is. Whether you want to know more about her ex or some of her deep childhood memories, these questions will help you to see her in a whole new light.

1. When was the first time you experienced heartbreak?
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2. Was there anyone close to you that isn’t alive anymore that you wish you’d gotten to know better?
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3. Why did you and your last ex break up?

4. What was the happiest day of your life?
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5. What is the loneliest you’ve ever felt?
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6. How many serious relationships have you had?

7. What is the hardest thing you’ve ever done alone?
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8. Were you popular in school growing up?
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9. Did you grow up with any pets? If so, did you have a favorite?

Questions about her life and family

“The ability to develop a healthy relationship can be influenced by the experiences people have had within their own families,” according to a recent study done by the U.S. Department of Health and Services. A better understanding of your girlfriend’s family dynamics can give you a clearer perception about how she sees life and love. The following questions will give you meaningful insight into the role that her family plays in her life.

1. What do you love most about your family, and why?
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2. Do you wish that you were closer with your family?
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3. Were your parents strict when you were growing up?

4. Do you have a large extended family?
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5. Do you keep in close contact with your family?
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6. Do you and your family still get together for the holidays?

7. Do your parents feel like parents to you?
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8. Did you have to be a parent to any of your siblings?
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9. Do you feel like you have a lot of inherited trauma from your extended family?

10. Do you think your parents set a good example of healthy relationships for you growing up?

Questions about her worldview and values

Having similar views on the world makes being in a long-term relationship with someone a lot easier. Although we can find common ground with just about anyone, when it comes to the person with whom we are choosing to share our life, it’s generally important that they see life through a lens that isn’t so different from your own. Our values are infused into basically every experience that we have, and if you want to make sure you are with someone with the right values for you, these questions will help you figure that out.

1. What is the purpose of the relationships in our lives?
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2. How important is having a lot of money to you?
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3. Is staying in close touch with the members of your family important to you?

4. Is there anything that you would like to change about the world?
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5. What are the most important values that you feel we share?
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6. Who shaped your views of the world?

7. Do the views of others affect how you see and move through the world?
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8. Is there such a thing as right and wrong?
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9. What experiences do you think have had the biggest impact on your worldview?

10. What do you think is the purpose of wealth?

Questions about her life goals

If you have a clear understanding of your girlfriend’s vision for the future, it will allow you to be a much-needed support in keeping her on track. You will also then be able to aid her in whatever way you can to make her dreams a reality. The following are good questions to better understand your girlfriend’s goals and help you to provide meaningful support in her reaching them.

1. Do you have set goals you are working towards?
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2. Do you feel focused on your goals? Is accomplishing them important to you?
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3. In what area of your life have you set goals?

4. Is there any way that I can help support you in reaching your goals?
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5. Do you feel like you are living your purpose?
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6. Where do you see yourself in five years?

7. Do you know what your life purpose is?
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8. What is one simple goal that you have for yourself right now?
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9. Do you feel like you do everything you can to set yourself up for long-term success?

10. What is one thing that throws you off of being in a healthy routine?

Random questions to ask your girlfriend

Sometimes deep, heartful questions aren’t the vibe. Getting to know your girlfriend on a more personal level doesn’t always require serious conversation topics, and fun, random questions can be helpful in better understanding her personality. The following 14 questions are super fun and will help you to get to know her better while also making her laugh.

1. Would you rather be a cat or a dog?
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2. Would you love me if I was a worm?
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3. Would you rather look like a potato or feel like a potato?

4. If you had to choose one word to say for the rest of your life, what would you choose?
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5. Would you get a tattoo of me on your butt?
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6. Which celebrity do you think you would be best friends with?

7. If you could live as an animal for a year, what animal would you choose?
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8. Which Hogwarts house do you think you’d be put in?
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9. If you found $2000 on the ground, what would you do with it?

10. If you could swap lives with one of your friends, who would you choose and why?
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11. What three words would you use to describe me?
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12. What are you most looking forward to this year?

13. Would you want to be able to read people’s minds?
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14. What’s your favorite weird food combo?
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15. What is your dream vacation destination?

16. If you changed your name, what would you choose?
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17. Do you believe in ghosts?
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18. What do you think is the hardest part about being an adult?

19. What’s the wildest thing you’ve done on a dare?
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20. Would you rather go to a water park or amusement park for the day?
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21. Do you think you could do a year without any social media?

Weird questions to ask your girlfriend

Do you consider yourself to be a little bit on the weird side? If so, it’s probably important that you are with someone who can get down with the quirky qualities that you possess. The following questions aren’t too out there, but they will definitely give you a chance to get to know your girlfriend better and probably enjoy a good laugh together.

1. If man evolved from monkeys, why do we still have monkeys?
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2. What superpower would you not want?
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3. Have you ever screamed at the top of your lungs?

4. If you became president tomorrow, what would be your first law?
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5. Is your time ever wasted if you enjoy wasting it?
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6. Which celebrity would you punch in the face if given the chance?

7. Would you rather have no arms or no legs?
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8. Do you ever literally stop to smell the flowers?
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9. What is the highest number that you’ve ever counted?

10. Which would you prefer as a roommate, a squirrel or a monkey?
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11. If you met yourself, do you think you would be friends with them?
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12. Do you spend a lot of time thinking, or is your mind mostly blank?

13. How much does the thought of nails on a chalkboard creep you out?
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14. Are there any toys that really creeped you out when you were a kid?
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15. Have you ever been pooped on by a bird?

Hard questions to ask your girlfriend

The following questions might not be the easiest to answer and definitely aren’t appropriate for everyday life. But sharing your answers with each other will allow you to get to know your girlfriend better and will give you the opportunity to connect in a meaningful way. These questions are a good non-toxic alternative to so-called trap questions and should be asked with genuine curiosity and a desire to get to know your significant other better.

1. How did you know that you wanted to be with me?
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2. Would you still want to be with me if we didn’t have a great sex life?
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3. Do you often feel misunderstood? If yes, is it usually by me?

4. Are there any things that make you question if we are compatible?
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5. Do you find it hard to trust people?
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6. What do you consider to be your biggest failure?

7. If it were up to you, how often would we have sex?
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8. If you could go back and change one thing in your life, what would it be?
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9. What are some expectations that you have of marriage?

10. Do you find it easy to depend on other people for support, or do you try and do everything yourself?
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11. What is one thing that you would change about our relationship if you could?
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12. What is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for you?

13. What was the saddest day in your life?
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14. What are some of my qualities that you would want our children to have?
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15. If you’re having a hard day, how do you want me to cheer you up?

16. What is the most courageous thing you’ve ever done?
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17. What did you learn most about yourself during covid?
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18. If I called all of your exes, what is one thing they would all say you have in common?

19. Do you think that cheating is ever forgivable in a relationship?
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20. Have you ever struggled with addiction?
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21. What’s a secret of yours that you’ve never told anyone else?

Truth or dare questions for your girlfriend

When it comes to your relationship, fun is an important part of keeping the spark alive. Whether you want to spice up your next date night or just have some fun getting to know your girlfriend better, truth or dare is a great way to do so.

1. What are your three biggest turn-ons?
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2. What is the most annoying thing about me?
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3. What is the most insane thing you’ve done in your previous relationships?

4. What was on your mind the first day we met?
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5. Which part of my body do you like the most?
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6. Do you ever get jealous when I’m around other girls?

7. What is your definition of a perfect boyfriend?
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8. When was the last time you peed the bed?
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9. What about yourself do you feel the most self-conscious of?

10. What is your wildest fantasy with me?
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11. Do you have any secrets that you haven’t told me?
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12. Can you see yourself spending your life with me?

13. What is the hardest part about being a girl?
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14. Do you have any photos or videos on your phone that you wouldn’t want me to see?
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15. Who here has the nicest butt?

16. If I was a food, what would I be and how would you eat me?
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17. What is the most awkward date you’ve ever been on?
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18. What do you feel the most self-conscious about?

19. Who is the person you most regret kissing?
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20. What is something that a lot of people assume about you that isn’t true?
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21. What is the most expensive thing you’ve ever stolen?

Common questions and important considerations

How to know what questions to ask your girlfriend

After browsing through all of the questions in this article, you might be wondering how to choose the right question for your relationship. While this is something that will be specific to your relationship, there are a few things to keep in mind.

As a general rule, fun and flirtatious questions are appropriate to ask in most connections. Regardless of how long you have been with your girlfriend, it’s safe to say that these questions won’t elicit a negative response.

Deeper questions about the relationship are best to save for when the connection is more developed, but whether or not your relationship is ready for deep, intimate questions will be dependent on your specific connection.

A good way to gauge whether a question is appropriate or not is to ask yourself, “Would I feel comfortable answering this?” If your answer is no, then it’s best to wait.

Another way to make sure that you don’t ask your girlfriend questions that are too intimate for your connection or for your specific relationship is to pay attention to the way that your girlfriend responds to your question. Everybody has triggers that are specific to them, and something that might seem like a simple, non-threatening question to you can be overwhelming for someone else.

If you notice your girlfriend getting distant with you, avoiding eye contact, or appearing obviously upset, then it is best to end the conversation and ask her if she needs a hug instead.

When is the right time to ask these questions?

Funny and light questions are almost always appropriate to ask your girlfriend, and because they generally won’t require vulnerability or deep thought to answer, you don’t need to be overly intentional about timing. Asking these questions is a great way to make your girlfriend feel as though you are being present with her and genuinely care about getting to know her better.

For more intimate questions, there is definitely a time and a place, and it’s important that you are thoughtful and intentional regarding the “what” and “when.”. Make sure that you two are in a place where you won’t be interrupted and both feel safe to let your guard down enough to cover a potentially touchy subject. Maintain eye contact, don’t check your phone, and make listening to her answers your number one priority.

What to talk about with your girlfriend

When it comes to conversation starters for your relationship, you don’t need to overthink it. If you are feeling nervous about bringing up deeper, more personal topics, then it’s never a bad idea to keep things fun and flirty.

Even simple conversation topics have the potential to spark a deep conversation. Either way, communicating with your partner and learning small details about who they are and how they view your relationship will lead to deeper intimacy in your connection.

Why using questions to test your girlfriend can damage your relationship

If you have access to the internet, you have no doubt seen some of the toxic relationship advice that makes its way around platforms like Instagram and Tik Tok. While this advice may be funny, it can also be incredibly damaging to implement in your romantic life, and using questions that are designed to test your partner is one of the ways that you can ruin your relationship with a potentially great match.

No one likes to feel like people are asking them questions that are intended to be manipulative and coercive, least of all the person they are involved with romantically. When you play games with your girlfriend, it’s very possible that she will begin to feel as though you do not respect her, and it could severely damage the trust in your connection. It’s difficult to feel safe in a connection that doesn’t have a strong foundation of trust, and using trap questions to test your girlfriend is an easy way to erode your connection with her.

When it comes to love, there is no perfect question that you can ask to figure out if someone is right for you. Getting to know someone involves spending quality time with them and asking them questions from a place of love and genuine desire to better understand them. Spend more time paying attention to how you feel when you’re with your girlfriend and less time trying to mastermind the perfect question to test your compatibility.

Viktor is a Counselor specialized in interpersonal communication and relationships. He manages Socialpro’s scientific review board. Follow on Twitter or read more.

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