Do you want to be good at talking to people and connecting with them?
We’ve had a massive interest in a course that helps take you all the way — step by step — from “Hi” to hanging out with someone as a close friend. Therefore, we created “How to Talk to People & Make Friends With Them”.
The course helps you connect with anyone and with the system, the community, and the course format, you’ll get better results than we could ever achieve in our emails.
This course is for you who…
- Feel like it takes forever to make friends (or it never happens)
- Feel like people won’t be interested in what you have to say (or that you aren’t interesting enough)
- Get stuck in your head because of self-consciousness or social anxiety
- End up beating yourself up for stupid things you’ve said
- Feel uncomfortable about being judged if you open up
- Feel like people will think you’re weird if you talk to them
- Don’t know what to say
- Get stuck in small talk
Why get a course when there’s an ocean of free advice out there?
With all the advice out there, why isn’t everyone a social genius? The answer: More advice doesn’t automatically make us better.
That’s why Talk to People & Make Friends With Them isn’t another “advice-bomb”. Here’s what we do differently to give you results:
- Instead of trying to remember 100 different things, you can just follow our system.
- We focus on one core concept at a time and help you internalize it.
- With my practical video examples, you get experience that no blog post or book can give you.
- Signing up for our program means you become a part of our SocialSelf Inner Circle: Whenever you get stuck or want to discuss something, you get help from Viktor, me, and all our members who share your journey.
- Our material is scientifically based, optimized for results, based on countless video calls with beta testers, and created together with counselors and therapists.
Advice can be good sometimes. We give a lot of advice in our free material so you can decide if our way of doing things works for you before you spend a penny.
And when you’re ready for change, we’ve got a system proven by hundreds of men and women like you who took the leap and joined our community.
Your videos are being a great help. Thank u. Now I wanted to tell that there are some people who are naturally great conversationalist. My problem is that I feel a little discomfort while talking to such people,because as they start to listen and pay attention to what I’m talking… I start going blank. I feel weak. I feel a sudden confidence loss. So I need your help to improve this. Thank you again for help.
this was a great blog and video. I will definitely use this to be a better conversationalist and be more open and comfortable talking to people.
That’s great to hear Marquis!
People often lose interest quickly as I’m telling stories during conversation…I’d like to improve that if I can
We wrote about storytelling a bit down in this article, hope it helps: https://socialself.com/blog/how-to-be-funny/
I just want to have deep, non-awkward conversations with people I meet without the nerves. This has been a life-long struggle for me and I want to change that.
My name is Melissa by the way. I came up as anonymous.
I want to be able to keep a conversation going and to stop just asking what’s the next class or what did your get in question 2 and start talking about funny things
I want also to be able to enter and be accepted in groups of people that already know themselves for long time and to stop being treated as child/inferior by the other because of my social skills..
Thank you for sharing Victor! Keep going!
So… I said i want to do that
But I don’t have a clue about how to do it and my social anxiety already caused me depression
Do you have any ideas on how can i improve?
Hey David!
I really like the way you explain everything.
I am introvert person. And i have the same problems like I don’t know how to keep the conversation going and even if i like that person, I Have difficulty in making deep connnections with them. I want to work on my self.
Some times i go blank while talking to a person, like i don’t understand what to say next. I feel empty at that time which leads to awkward silence.
I don’t have self confidence, i feel everything i say is either dumb or funny. I feel shy speaking about my thing.
So, people consider me boring because i dont speak and i have nothing exciting to share.
Sorry, i have so many problems. 😀
I am a very funny person from inside. But these small problems affect a lot to be honest.
I want to be like others. “Extrovert and fun loving”.
Hey Aditi, it’s good that you are motivated and aware of where you can improve. Have you tried the OFC-method? https://socialself.com/is-it-possible-to-double-your-confidence-in-5-minutes/
Best wishes!
Do you write Aditi? If not you should. Taking or speaking is not the only way to communicate. Your writing might bring you readers and help you express what you feel inside your head.
This is eye opening. Thanks David. It’s interesting that asking about someone’s relationships to ideas helps one to build actual relationship with the person you’re talking to. Something I’d definitely practice! Thanks a million!
I want to be heard when I speak in a group conversation. I feel like I’m invisible! I don’t know if I’m not loud enough (many of my friends are REALLY loud!), or just plain boring and they dismiss whatever I have to say, or just so self-absorbed that they don’t care what I have to say and just want to keep talking about themselves endlessly. Any ideas??? Thanks!
Loud and chaotic group conversations can be really hard to get into. Normal social rules like letting everyone speak their mind and not interrupting does not always apply, it’s more about enjoying the energy and feel of the conversation. We sometimes have to accept that a group conversation can never be as deep and intellectually stimulating as a one on one. So try taking it more for what it is and just have fun with your friends, don’t be afraid to interrupt from time to time if you have something fun to say.
To relax more and actually find something to say, try focusing more on the conversation and what the other people are saying, instead of trying to come up with something to say. Ironically, that usually helps in coming up with what to say.
I rlly need new friends but I really don’t know how to approach strangers specially when i’m in a room with groups of friends talking together , I feel so lonely. 🙁
That’s a tough one, I feel with you Tia.
What kind of situation is it you’re thinking about? Is it like a new class where you don’t know anyone or more of a party where you got some acquaintances?
If they are standing alone or looking lost, they too are looking for friends. You should listen to the OFC podcast and apply that to them. Think of it like you are helping them make friends, this will also add a goal to your life – Helping people like you, by helping yourself.
I want to improve my cordial intercourse. I have not spent time with someone after school for over two years. I really need your help!
I feel like Andrei, I don’t want to talk about my personal life because every inch of it makes me sad. And I don’t want to make other people depressed while talking to me. So I pretend to be happy and superficial. Maybe ask strangers for personal advice? Talk about dreams and hopes for the future?
I’m not really good at starting conversations. And finding what to say?
The first step is always to identify what you need to improve, so good job Classy. 1 step at a time. 🙂
I am afraid about revealing facs about myself that I am not proud of. What I am saying is that I am not comfortable with where I am in my life right now, therefore I have trouble being personal with people. Yet I do desire closeness.
Be curious don’t be superficial. If you approach a stranger start with “are you from around here?” Now be prepared with a second and third question as a follow up. Like if they say I just moved here, you can ask where they lived before and why they moved. Be curious about people and ask slightly personal questions. You can even precede the questions by saying “hope you don’t mind me asking”
To overcome the fear of talking out,I know this stuff yet I cannot give correct questions to carry,there I stuck
Hi
I’m 47 and for a long time now I’ve got really really panicky when it comes to even meeting friends, and even ones I’ve known a long time . Going for an interview , basically I panic and worry about what to say, and would love to be able to find chat Easy and not worry or panic . And to stop being Soo nervous about it .. I have to push myself sooo hard to do things .. It’s making my life hard
Hi Maria, glad to have you with us! Just saying that you want to improve is the first step, I hope you will find our videos and articles helpful on your journey 🙂
I want to improve my social skills, I feel I can meet new people but I cannot connect with them, so finally it end up in a superficial relationship and even when I meet people I feel lonely.
I believe in you! Have you tried any of the techniques or principles David mentioned in the video?
I feel I can be awkward to talk to in new situations and I wanted to see how to do it in a way that makes me and them comfortable.
Good one. That’s definitely possible to get better at!
David
At first i thought SUPERFICIALLY that this video and lesson is the same as the one You sent on Jan 6,
then i carefully compared the two and saw the new lesson
Yes people i converse with do not like me if i act like a nerd
i need this course to make them like me at such times
Also i have found that when people around me feel blue they JUST CLAM UP and don’t talk to me
But WHEN i felt blue i longed for someone to talk to to get out of it
i FEEL the problem is to get talking with them in the right way
i need lessons for this
Hi david thankyou for what you do :)Well an issue I have is sometimes I want to say experiences I have had and people lose interest and I tend to forget where I was at and stumble and say and then or well .Please help me be confident in saying my stories without feeling inferior and getting nervous if they do
Hi Vivian, that’s something many others have struggled with as well and then made great progress. Check out the coming emails, I think you’re going to find them helpful 🙂
David
Thanks alot David, that was a nice video and I learned alot. I have this issue of going blank while conversating with my friends and it sucks because I feel there’s more to say but I find it difficult to speak or say something funny. Would be grateful if u could be of help.
In my next email I’ll talk about a method you can use when conversations hit a wall. It works very well when you head goes blank. Glad to have you on board 🙂
I’d like to learn how to be less serious and more open when having conversations… more “energetic” when talking to people.
Hi Kaersten,
This guide has some parts that I think are relevant to you! https://socialself.com/blog/learn-how-to-be-more-outgoing/
David
I’d like to get better at asking certain types of questions at the appropriate time in a conversation. Sometimes I just don’t know what to say; my mind literally goes blank, and I get nervous. I want to learn how to move past this nervousness and be completely comfortable when talking with anyone, and in any setting.
Hi David, I really enjoyed the small talk video that you posted! I have a similar comment to what Mathis said. I want to be more at ease and relaxed, I feel as if my mind races automatically and there is very little space for the current moment, and that usually produces anxiety. The strange thing is, I am beginning to feel that with my close friends. Intellectually I know what I am doing wrong, but often I can’t help but feel like I am hitting a wall for one reason or the other. Anyway, that’s my two cents. Thank you for all your good advice!
Hi Nick!
My next email will be about how to avoid conversations hitting a wall, think you’ll like it!
David
Hi Stephen!
That’s a great insight, a lot of people struggle with that but don’t realize that they need to open up more. I’m planning on doing a coming Q&A email about that soon.
Hi, your video was quite helpful and well structured with good real life examples.
My main problems (which possibly aren’t the exact topics you’re addressing) are that I can never feel like myself around people, even though I try to be honest and open in conversations. I generally always feel like I want to run away and hide, and I can’t wait until I can be on my own again and not having to deal with people.
Hi Pan!
People often describe this to me like they have to “put on a mask” when they’re around others, so I can tell you that you’re not alone feeling like this! If you’re on our email list I’ll be talking more about that feeling in a few weeks time.
Great, thanks for replying. I’ll look forward to it.
I forget names easily
I’m not having a problem knowing what to say really, and I think my conversations flow pretty well. But I’m uncertain when I’m at the point where I’m talking too much. I’d like to be able to know when people have had enough of me 🙂
We’ll be talking about how to balance conversations the coming weeks 🙂
my goal is to just get at least 1 new friend. im tired of being lonely. it just feels like nobody has any time to meet up anymore 🙁
hey maria i can be your friend ! Let’s put in practice what we learn here in SocialPro .
Hi René, good idea. Can I practise with you too?
The thing I’d like to improve is to findd a natural way to get a conversation going. Conversations just fizzle out and I don’t know what to say.
Hi Sarah! I think you’ll like this: https://socialself.com/blog/make-interesting-conversation/
I just want to be more at ease and to be able to enjoy meeting new people. I think Im pretty relaxed with my old friends, but I just seem to blank out with anyone I dont know.