As you know, our program on how to become good at making conversation is named “Awkward to Awesome: The Art of Making Conversation”.
First, I had some second thoughts about this name. I want to share these thoughts with you because I think it also teaches us something about social life goals.
Reason 1 – Awkward can be a good thing
Sometimes, I don’t think it’s bad to be awkward. I still do awkward things. So does Viktor.
It can be fun to be awkward, and you can laugh about it later. Like that time I spoke English with a Swedish guy for half an hour before I figured out we were both from Sweden.
Having awkward traits makes you who you are. It’s just that when your awkwardness takes over and stops you from being who you want to be, it’s not so fun anymore.
Sometimes the awkwardness is even a symptom of social anxiety or shyness. At this point, it’s not fun and quirky anymore but something that holds us back.
That’s the kind of awkward we want to move away from.
Reason 2 – It felt scammy
When I started off, I wasn’t aiming to become “awesome” because back then, that’s not something I could identify with. And I don’t identify with being some kind of “Mr. Awesome”. That’s just tacky.
However, what I DO think it truly awesome today is the social life I have now. It’s not awesome as in bikini foam parties and celebrity BBQ nights because that’s not what gives me meaning. It is awesome in the way that I can be who I want to be with people I want to be with. I think it’s awesome to have a close family of friends who I can always reach out to and who I know has my back.
At least in my head, when I hear the “Awesome” in “Awkward to Awesome”, I’m thinking about how awesome the small things in a good social life can be: having a walk with a close friend and talking about life. Feeling at ease around people. Feeling confident that you always know what to say next. Always having close friends you can reach out to and hang out with.
What our readers had to say
Finally, when we surveyed our readers and beta testers about what name they liked the most, it won big time.
They thought it summed up what the program is about: How to go from awkward to awesome by mastering the art of making conversation.
That’s when we decided to officially go with that name.
P.S. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. What is YOUR definition of an “awesome” social life? Comment down below. I’ll try to reply to as many comments as I can!
To me being socially awesome is having conversation and not having to think that if i had said this, it would have been better.
And also being able to connect to who you want to, opposite sex and same.
And also not having to think before hand what to say, how to react to the response and having not to dread the so much fearful awkward silence.
Thanks David, Amanda and Viktor ( + all the people in the back stage ). Keep up the good work
In all honesty, I came to this sight looking for information on social interaction– just like many others. So I wasn’t surprised when I got exactly that! These one on one-esk emails give off a casual, comforting vibe that really helps when trying to learn something new, especially something like social adequate.
Unfortunately for me, these useful emails don’t shed any light on what I’m looking for. Don’t get me wrong; this advice is amazing, and I know so many people who could use just a piece of this. But I don’t need this advice.
I don’t mean to sound harsh or narcissistic– but I’m already extroverted and I have no problem making friends. I’ve met so many nice people; we just don’t connect, you know? And it’s really annoying when these people don’t understand why I don’t make an effort to get to know them better.
Actually, I came here because I was feeling guilty and anxious. I don’t want to loose the friends I have and I want to deepen our bonds, but I don’t want to be cold and closed-off to everyone else. I might be over-thinking it, but I feel like I’m trying too hard and at the same time, not trying hard enough. Does that make sense? Maybe I don’t ask enough questions, or maybe my confidence is overwhelming, but I’m sure someday I’ll figure it all out!
Some of the stuff in these emails have been very insightful, but it’s just not what I’m looking for. And I really appreciate the effort that was put into this. I’m sure– no– I’m certain there are many more people out there who would benefit from this. In fact, so many of my close friends are said people. I only wish I could help them with this advice without sounding like a jerk or something. That’s a nice thought.
With that in mind, I’d like to thank the people who put in the time and the research for this project. I wish I could say it helped me greatly, but I don’t think writing a heartfelt comment and then lying about it is very appropriate. It did however help me self reflect and become a little more spacially aware.
So, thank you! And may your advice keep helping others!
Sincerely,
Emma Nageraboshi
Hey I have been getting you emails for a while now and I don’t really know how to explain a awesome social life. I mean i’ve been in multiple social conversations where I would say wow this is a really good conversation, and other times I would say something and think to myself “Hayleigh your so stupid why would you say that.” I have noticed over time that I don’t always have to say something I can just listen.
I would like to tell you something though……
I have a really awkward boyfriend and I am awkward as it is, but I want him to feel comfortable around me. He never knows what to say but I can usually start up a conversation. The question is when is he going to start his own conversations???
Sincerely,
Hayleigh
An awesome social life is feeling you provide value for those you interact with, _and_ that you feel they value you back.
I think an awesome social life is being confident in who you are as a person with the people you want to be with
That’s right.?
Awesome:= being you, solving every problem being cool and calm
A great social life/friendship: openly and equally showing care for one another. Too many times I experience even with my closest friends that we can’t openly show how we care about each other’s feelings and well being…maybe it’s a teenage thing? A rejection thing? Eitherway, a great social life for me would be the freedom to be myself among all. A few groups of close friends and many casual friends from all around the world. Openly loving! Accepting! Diverse!
If just one person liked me on getting to know me!
My conversation always, invariably,ends up with me being put in the”friend”category with women. Why is that? And how do I put an end to this? I tend to think that it’s a defensive move by the ladies, but I’m getting very tired of it and would like to know what to do to stop it from happening!
I’ve made friends! Woot. But how to you invite them over and stuff without it seeming like some weird date or just anything that won’t make the experience as awkward :I
A great Social Life: One that I have many casual friends with a few close friends that share common values, interests and history. Where we both can share or talk about a common activity regularity, and where we both respect and accept each other for who we are.
Hey David,
I love that you are starting another program. My idea of a fun time is going camping and hiking with friends and any big group outing. I think that by taking your course, I will be able to learn how to connect to people and LEAVE A MARK.
An awesome social life for me where I am popular and friendly with everyone by BEING MYSELF. I would love it when people approach me with their problems(don’t get me wrong,i am not saying that they should have problems). But i always love to be a shoulder for them to cry on and i want them to understand my worth. I want to have daily have the feeling of being needed upto at extent.This would make my day and make my life awesome.Last but not the least, i would love to be comfortable talking with anyone and getting to know all my friends personally and i want them to trust me. I love it when socially all relationships are built on trust.
I also want to independent but i have this inner feeling that i want other people to depend on me…. Well that concludes my imaginary social status that i keep dreaming to have but unfortunately can’t achieve it anytime soon.
agh i have exactly the same! but because im so awkward people dont really come to me with problems.. oof
I think being social is a good thing in life because being comfortable talking to people that you know. But I always keep myself in a shell all the time when I’m around people. I just need to work on expressing myself.
I think that having an awesome social life means that you find easy to communicate with people and you like it. In simple words.
I agree to every single thing you mentioned. And I love reading your articles. Very sensible, but my problem is conversing with my husband mostly. I make friends with anyone but very hard to do it with him. Is it because he is avoiding me. He is very good with everyone else.
Classy akward …having monemnts of awkwardness turned into a thing that all people rise to do or people repeat after you did them..
I think it’s awesome to just be you and be so worried that you will be in an awkward situation.
I mean not be worried
I think awesome social life describes a life that allows one to fully utilize the available opportunities to do whatever they feel, like many friends, going places and they enjoy doing these activities.
Hi David,
For me “Awesome” means, to talk to strangers in gatherings and be comfortable with them such that they like me and start respecting each other.
I have a problem, I get to be very social at times but then when I try to remember what I did to achieve that but it’s just all gone and I go back to getting everything you explain social anxiety and awkwardness to be, I feel humiliated for not been able to do the most basic thing in human interaction, I do thank you for all your content, it’s really been helping me, I just wish I didn’t forget how to keep it up.
Same here. On some days i can talk to people perfectly fine, and then i think i’ve finally cracked the code, only to be completely socially incapable the next day!
What I can really say about awesome social life is that I feel great when talking or when I’m around my close friends. I’m not always afraid of making mistakes around them, I don’t feel cautious. I’m always full if energy.
But on the other hand, those I’m not close to or meeting for the first time I’m always afraid of making mistake, I isolate myself. If I happen to say something and they all look at me whether it is good or bad, I feel awkward but have improved a little bit though
An awesome social life for me is to be able to express myself without feeling like I am always judged and hated by others. To me, I would like to go out with more friends and parties I am invited to. With some friends outside of school, I like doing physical activities, traveling, and drawing (to me that is much of an improvement). I want to be confident in my own skin and not be noticed and stereotyped because of my race. As well as making some of my dreams come true. Personally, I like having deep conversations with close friends because small talk really scares me and I tend to live in my own mind. This also means I that I stick with two or three friends because they get me and I am afraid if I am open to others they might not be real or will not be the same as some of my friends now and that they will get a wrong perception of me.
Well, for me an awesome social life is when I have the confidence to get out to the real world and socialize with people instead of being stuck here in my own little world. It also means that I am enjoying my life with my closest friend without feeling afraid to talk with them because of I’m afraid of being awkward.
Hi David,
Thanks for your help and assistance. I’ve really found it useful.
To me, an awesome social life is being able to not just survive but thrive in any social situation and not get totally overwhelmed by anxiety.
I have a very active social life and like to be able to listen and respond intently to anyone in the room, even people whom I may have nothing much in common with, but this isn’t always easy once anxiety and pressure to be amusing gets in the wa but I’m working on this.
I just need to tell myself that I don’t always have to make an impression because that is too much pressure and what makes me anxious. To be able to feel totally at ease in any social setting would be my idea of an awesome social life.
For me personally, awesome social life is when you participate, enjoy and socialize in all sort of different social activities: parties, theater, social groups, travelling, adventure, fine dining etc. instead of focusing on only one, few or none….basically, if you are put in any situation, you will be able to socialize, connect, be knowledgable and enjoy
My idea of an awesome social life would be to first have enough trust in humanity that I could feel comfortable around people socially and not just on a professional level. To find and trust true friendship would lead to a great social life…at least I believe it would for me.
Hi Dave,am really grateful for all you have been sharing. I am already seeing changes. I was able to start and sustain an interesting conversation with a total stranger.Now I can say stuff to keep a conversation going instead of awkward silence.My idea of an awesome social life is being able to connect with anyone with ease.I should be able to speak up and express my views in a conversation with others instead of being awkwardly quiet especially around talkative people.Being socially awesome means I will be able to enjoy the company of others and that others would value my presence …I find it easy to talk to people at my level but when aroundthose I admire and deem better than me I fail to sustain a meaningful conversation.. how can I improve?
Hi Dave,am really grateful for all you have been sharing. I am already seeing changes. I was able to start and sustain an interesting conversation with a total stranger.Now I can say stuff to keep a conversation going instead of awkward silence.My idea of an awesome social life is being able to connect with anyone with ease.I should be able to speak up and express my views in a conversation with others instead of being awkwardly quiet especially around talkative people.Being socially awesome means I will be able to enjoy the company of others and that others would value my presence …I find it easy to talk to people at my level but when aroundthose I admire and deem better than me I fail to sustain a meaningful conversation.. how can I improve?
Im not awkward totally 100%