As you know, our program on how to become good at making conversation is named “Awkward to Awesome: The Art of Making Conversation”.
First, I had some second thoughts about this name. I want to share these thoughts with you because I think it also teaches us something about social life goals.
Reason 1 – Awkward can be a good thing
Sometimes, I don’t think it’s bad to be awkward. I still do awkward things. So does Viktor.
It can be fun to be awkward, and you can laugh about it later. Like that time I spoke English with a Swedish guy for half an hour before I figured out we were both from Sweden.
Having awkward traits makes you who you are. It’s just that when your awkwardness takes over and stops you from being who you want to be, it’s not so fun anymore.
Sometimes the awkwardness is even a symptom of social anxiety or shyness. At this point, it’s not fun and quirky anymore but something that holds us back.
That’s the kind of awkward we want to move away from.
Reason 2 – It felt scammy
When I started off, I wasn’t aiming to become “awesome” because back then, that’s not something I could identify with. And I don’t identify with being some kind of “Mr. Awesome”. That’s just tacky.
However, what I DO think it truly awesome today is the social life I have now. It’s not awesome as in bikini foam parties and celebrity BBQ nights because that’s not what gives me meaning. It is awesome in the way that I can be who I want to be with people I want to be with. I think it’s awesome to have a close family of friends who I can always reach out to and who I know has my back.
At least in my head, when I hear the “Awesome” in “Awkward to Awesome”, I’m thinking about how awesome the small things in a good social life can be: having a walk with a close friend and talking about life. Feeling at ease around people. Feeling confident that you always know what to say next. Always having close friends you can reach out to and hang out with.
What our readers had to say
Finally, when we surveyed our readers and beta testers about what name they liked the most, it won big time.
They thought it summed up what the program is about: How to go from awkward to awesome by mastering the art of making conversation.
That’s when we decided to officially go with that name.
P.S. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. What is YOUR definition of an “awesome” social life? Comment down below. I’ll try to reply to as many comments as I can!
This is a really late reply. I’ve been dealing with school stuff and exams so haven’t had any time.
My idea of awesome is basically being able to the things I love with the people I love. Like for instance whenever I have a weird dream (and I that’s almost always) once I wake up, the first people I tell are my 3 closest friends and my boyfriend. They always so my dreams are like stories which I never get to finish. So they try to finish it on their own. It’s a weird activity that no one apart from us understand, but I always think it’s awesome.
Or like how during the last week before the holidays I would go on a walk with my best friend. At first I thought she hated it and I was too shy to tell her how much I enjoyed it. It was later that I realized she always looked forward to it. I’ll never forget how happy I felt, I was smiling like an idiot. It was the best most awkward moment I’ve had with her
Basically if I have the courage to share the things I love WITH the people I love, then that’s awesome to me
Awesome social life acc to my pov is..
You have good interaction with everyone ..you exchange smiles whenever you meet..greet each other with respect..
Actually shy ppl can’t HV dat coz they often think about awakardness
I think my definition of an “awesome” social life is being able to speak up, and say what I want even if I think people would think it’s weird or awkward.
Hi Dave!
I’m really excited to begin this journey with you. Finally, at the age of 17, I understood what a friend could bring in my life and what I could bring to others.
I think my ideal of awesome in a social context is me driving a passionate discussion with two people about what we value the most and what we plan to do to achieve that. It’s my favorite kind of conversation.
Hi Elena! I love that! Welcome to our community 🙂
Hi Dave thank Your emails I’ve found them very interesting so far.
I suffer from loneliness living alone and I’m a bit shy as well. I lack confidence and have low self esteem.i find it hard at times to start a conversation and if I’m out for hours in company a lot of the time I’m quiet. If the conversation stops I get that awkward silence.
I would love to be able to talk more and start a conversation.
I find messaging really easy, but I’d love to speak to people face to face without the awkwardness silent bit.
I feel as though my past marriage and not socialising much at the time has affected me.
A great social life is when you can totally be yourself.
Totally be yourself and the people you are with like or love
you just as you are. And not being two faced or appear to be
something you’re not. And also, not be a fake person and be
a genuine person.
I think what I really want in life is to have more close friends and have the skill to be able to easily make new friends. There is one guy I’ve been wanting to talk to for a while and I could get to know him better. I really want to become friends with him, but I’m just to scared to go up to him and say hi. I don’t really know what I’d say, and I don’t want to scare him off either. I just want to become his friend, but I’ve never been able to make any friends on my own. They’ve all just come up to me and asked to be friends.
Hi Emma. I don’t claim to fully understand why you feel that way, but do you think this might be because of either fear of being judged/rejected, or your ego of not approaching someone first (for fear of being humiliated again)? In my experience, even though I don’t think I’m a very proud or arrogant person, but I do think the ego factor was at work when I’ve felt similar issues. If you think the reason is something similar to these two, I think u should try what Buddha preached: let go of yourself comletely. Believe that if you aren’t “rejected” or “humiliated” once a while, then you haven’t really achieved anything. You must let yourself be “humiliated” in this way if you really want something meaningful to happen.
I recently had a co-worker of mine working at Subway with me. He was only 16 but he had the most amazing social life I had ever seen. He was very easy to talk to, had a pretty girlfriend he much cared about, and plenty of friends who would come and eat at the Subway we worked at. I worked with this guy five days a week but he had friends of his come in and eat there an average of 2 to 3 days a week. This told me this guy must have been very good with social skills to have that many friends coming into Subway to see him on a regular basis. This got me thinking, how can I become that good at socializing to where I will have friends and a girlfriend like this guy? For me, I am comfortable meeting people and making plans to hang out with people. However, I am not good at hanging out with people on a daily basis for long periods of time. This is one thing I want to change so I can have more deep, close friendships where friends will come and visit me because they want to. This is something I would be interested in you talking about in future videos.
@ Anonymous! Hey, I think I understand a bit of you getting fed up of seeing your friends on a daily basis and for long periods of time. It’s totally okay if you are that way, and you should look for friends who would understand that about you. You can still try to change that gradually if you really want to, but know that its a normal thing to be that way oftentimes. If you really find friends who’d understand that u don’t wanna be with them practically ALL THE TIME, I think they’ll be best of friends you can ever get.
awesome social life is when you are able to talk to new people.
For me an awesome social life is when i can be myself and free to share all of my thoughts even though some of them are awkward and i hate it because i’m only shy at first ,the moment i get comfortable with someone they immediately like to spend time around me because im funny smart and easy going .
I’m super loving wen it comes to my friends, I show it through hugs (I get yelled at for it sometimes).
My definition of of an awesome social life is being able to talk to some people at my school.
Awesome means inspiring people with high quality achievement.
It’s exactly as you said it. An awesome social life for me is not partying with the rich and famous every weekend and always in exotic locations with exotic humans. For me it is being able to connect deeply with people who I have an interest for no matter how short of a time we spend together.
What next? You’ll be sending more emails?
I really liked the content..any other content like these which can help me with my problems with talking to strangers?
Glad you’re liking it Sid. As long as you are subscribed you will get regular updates of our best content.
An awesome social life, for me, is simply having some friends to have fun with every now and then. Friends who can be consulted if necessary. It’s fun to go to never-before-seen places with others, including our families.
I like that, Jacob!
I agree. I think that an awesome social life is being confident around people and knowing that you will never run out of things to say. I too believe that close friends and family are the best blessing and give true meaning to life. Like you say, a great social life is being able to be your true self around anyone.
My awesome social life would be to invite people to do things and be invited to do things, yet have enough time for myself alone to recharge. Kris
That is a great perspective
I think an awesome social life would be having a fun time with just about anyone, because you are socially independent. Having deep conversations with people, while also having the best time ever with them would be awesome too. The main goal would be to communicate often(small talk) and having purposeful conversations with just about anyone, while having fun.
Very inspiring Nick!
I think of awesome in this as being able to talk to people and feel equal to them to be thinking about what they are saying and be able to say what I want back instead of thinking about what they think of me and being afraid to say what I want because I don’t want them to know how I am feeling, which is afraid, afraid of their opinion of me. It holds me back everywhere I am.
I really love these confidence courses! Thank you so much – you have helped me improve a lot. One thing: How do you loosen up before and during a conversation?
Awesome, thank you for telling me Iris!
I think one of the most effective methods to loosen up is the OFC-method: https://socialself.com/is-it-possible-to-double-your-confidence-in-5-minutes/
I think having an awesome social life means that I am surrounded with people I admire and that I do not care if they have little flaws because that makes them even more attractive. I hope we can always learn things from each other and we make each other better person. I had a friend almost like this when I was in college, I learn from her and she tells me that I gave her courage, but I didn’t think I was fully devoted and completely comfortable in the relationship because I am most of the time too self-centered and overly sensitive. Your advices are so down-to-earth and helpful, I just started learning them and I think I already feel like improving is not that hard. Thank you
My definition of an awesome social life is having people who you can be yourself around and doing fun things together such as going to the movies, shows, events, etc. I’ve always wanted one of these, but never really knew how to start. I want to be more confident and always know what to say in every situation.
Thank you for sharing Melissa, glad to have you with us!
David, I love the ‘Awkward to Awesome’ title. Immediately I thought of converting ‘awkward’ social activity to ‘awesome’ social contact. The title is appropriate and ‘point on’ the issue.
That’s exactly what we’re going for, happy to hear you like it, Lisa!
When I think of a awesome social life I think about one specific thing: Who I am as a person mathers! That I do NOT feel that words and thoughts that comes from me are worhtless. And that I have a flow of sharing and geting in return, not because I need to, but because it’s just the way it is with friends and family. And I don´t have to think about how to act or how to say things, because I already feel safe in the fellowship. 🙂
I love getting this emails by the way – they already working 😀
I think you make so many persons life so much easier!
That’s so good to hear Camilla, thank you! 😀
Stay awesome!
My awesome social life would be to have a few close friends I can share everything with, and be able to confidently talk to strangers
That’s awesome! Thanks for sharing 🙂
Awesome social life = have great chill, drama free people to share interests and new experiences with like kayaking and hiking. And bonding over life stories and dreams.
My definition of an awesome social life is to be completely relaxed in every situation, with different type of people. Knowing what to say and do without feeling limited or awkward.
Hearing the title alone gives me goosebumps already #Awkward to awesome… The mail’s I’ve received these past days has been helpful. My convo has really improved …keep up d good work
My definition of an awesome social life is to have lots of connections in the right places and a play hard, work hard lifestyle.
My definition of an awesome social life is having people you can rely on and have a good time with. People you can go on adventures with.
I agree Chris, I think finding the right friends is key to a great social life. Too many people get stuck with incompatible friends.