Does it seem like people don’t respect you? Perhaps they don’t listen to you. Maybe they brush your emotions aside or never pick your ideas. You might feel that you just don’t matter to others.
In this guide, you’ll learn how to get people to respect you even if you don’t have a high social status.
Sections
- What does respect mean?
- How to gain respect by building trust
- How to gain respect by communicating more effectively
- How to gain respect by showing respect to others
- How to gain respect by showing self-respect
- How to gain respect by setting boundaries
- Other ways to gain respect
What does respect mean?
To respect someone is to acknowledge and appreciate their positive qualities, skills, or talents. When we treat someone with respect, we also honor their rights as a human being. For example, if you respect someone, you appreciate their right to have preferences, to be treated with kindness, or to change their mind about something.
Most of us want to be respected by other people. It feels good when someone values your personality, thoughts, achievements, and feelings. Plus if you can earn someone’s respect, they will probably become more likely to ask for your opinions, take your advice, and enjoy spending time with you.
How to gain respect by building trust
As a general rule, trustworthiness is a highly-valued trait. If you can prove to other people that they can rely on you, they are likely to respect you.
1. Keep your promises
Show that you are reliable by keeping your word. Don’t make promises if you can’t follow through. If you can’t meet your commitments, apologize without making excuses and try to make amends.
2. Be consistent
It’s normal to change your opinions, preferences, and lifestyle from time to time. But if your words and actions clash, other people might think that you’re flaky or a liar, which won’t win you any respect. For example, if you say that you don’t drink alcohol but usually have a beer when you’re out with other people, you’ll come across as indecisive or dishonest.
3. Avoid gossiping
Gossiping is a bad habit that won’t earn you respect. If you share personal information about someone without their consent, they probably won’t trust you in the future. And if people hear you gossiping about someone else, they might assume that you’d be happy to gossip about them as well.
How to gain respect by communicating more effectively
Good communicators often command respect because they know how (and when) to share their thoughts and feelings in a constructive way without causing unnecessary offense or conflict.
Here are some tips for gaining respect by communicating more effectively:
1. Speak so that people listen to you
Many people who struggle with getting respect feel like they have no voice and that nobody listens to them.
Making yourself heard will help you develop more of a presence. That presence may earn you respect from the people close to you, both family, friends, and work colleagues.
Here’s how to speak so that people will listen to you:
- Use people’s names when you’re talking to them.
- Avoid overly complex language. (People will resent you if they can’t understand the words you use.)
- Ask more questions about the other person.
- Use hand gestures to make your message clearer.
- Keep more eye contact. (Make sure you give everyone in the group equal amounts of eye contact to keep everyone’s interest.)
- Improve your articulation and vocal projection so that other people find it easier to hear you.
- Use pauses effectively. (Silence has a big impact on speech.)
- Vary your tempo and tone when speaking. This makes you more interesting to listen to. (Practice at home by recording yourself speaking.)
2. Use confident body language
Our body language can tell people how we feel about ourselves. For example, if you walk around with your shoulders hunched, arms crossed, and your eyes on the ground, you will seem shy, afraid, or insecure. None of that commands respect.
However, if you have confident body language, people might look up to you. They may believe that there must be a good reason for your confidence and, therefore, you must be worthy of their respect.
These are the characteristics of confident body language:
- Good eye contact when speaking and listening
- Good posture (no slouching or crossing your arms)
- Walking with a purpose (not wandering around aimlessly)
- Keeping your chin up and eyes forward (instead of down)
- Use hand gestures when speaking (instead of keeping your hands shoved in your pockets)
3. Don’t let people keep interrupting you
As a general rule, well-respected people aren’t interrupted because others are interested in the things they say. If you learn how to deal with interruptions, you might come across as more assertive and socially skilled.
When you are interrupted, try one of these phrases:
- “Just a second, I’d like to finish my thought.”
- “Excuse me, we got off track. What I was saying was that ___________.”
- “Like I was saying before, ___________.”
- “Please, let me speak.”
Here are two more techniques that will help you stop others from interrupting you:
- Use people’s motion-detecting abilities to your advantage
Before you start to make a point, briefly raise your hand or your index finger. This triggers people’s motion-detecting ability and makes them focus on you.
If you don’t get an opportunity to say something immediately, that’s OK. People will often remember that you got something to say, so they will give you a chance to speak later in the conversation.
- Using a quick inhale as a signal you got something to say
By making a quick and audible inhale, people will notice you got something to say and focus on you.
When you start asserting yourself more, people will become more aware of your presence and give you more space in conversations.
Note that an interruption isn’t always a sign of disrespect. For example, in a lively group conversation, people interrupt each other all the time. That’s normal. It doesn’t mean they are being disrespectful.
4. Keep your temper and anger in check
If you lose your temper, people won’t take you seriously because they’ll think you’re too emotional and irrational.
Here’s how to address a conflict or have a difficult conversation in a way that makes people respect you more:
- Prepare some suggestions for improving the situation before you have a talk.
- Have the conversation in private instead of making a scene in public.
- Do it after you’ve cooled down instead of confronting someone in the heat of the moment.
- Use i-statements such as “I think…” and “I feel…” instead of making accusations such as “You always…”
- Keep yourself calm; make an effort not to get defensive or upset.
- Be understanding of the other person’s circumstances. Tell them you understand and want to work with them to find a solution that works for both of you.
- Be honest with yourself about mistakes you’ve made and things you could do differently moving forward.
- Admit when you’re wrong and apologize.
5. Improve your listening skills
If you can listen to people and respond meaningfully to the things they say, you’ll probably earn their respect. Good listeners often come across as empathetic and caring, which are admirable qualities. Because a skilled listener can make others feel valued and appreciated, they may be respected in return.
To improve your listening skills, start by paying more attention to people during conversations. Put your phone and other distractions away, make eye contact, and focus on what they are saying rather than what you want to say in response. Give them plenty of time to speak; there’s no need to fill every silence.
6. Avoid oversharing
It’s common to talk too much and start rambling when you get nervous or want to make a good impression.
But to gain others’ respect, you can’t ramble and talk about yourself. You need to slow down and find some common ground first. That way, people will start valuing your input and what you say.
Here are 6 tips to avoid oversharing if you tend to talk too much or ramble about yourself:
- Think about what you want to say before you start speaking.
- Avoid using “uh” and “um” when you speak. Filler words weaken your message.
- Start asking more questions and follow-up questions. This will slow down your pace and make sure you don’t babble without any input from the other person.
- Avoid telling someone your whole life story unless they do the same.
- Share as much about yourself as they share about themselves.
- To make the conversation engaging for everyone involved, try to find common ground and talk about shared interests or hobbies.
7. Ask for help when you need it
Asking for help is not a sign of weakness. People who acknowledge their own limits don’t pretend that they are capable of doing anything and everything. When you can admit that you need a hand, other people might respect your self-awareness.
Don’t let your pride get in the way. Most of us need help at times. For example, if you feel overwhelmed at work, it’s OK to ask a colleague for help or to delegate some of your tasks if you’re a manager.
8. Own up to your own mistakes
People who stand their ground even after they realize they’ve messed up are acting from a place of pride. Prideful people quickly lose the respect of their peers.
Be careful not to mistake “pride” for the idea of being proud of who you are. Being proud of who you are is a type of self-respect. Being prideful is believing you’re better than others.
Admitting when you’re wrong is always humbling. No one enjoys making mistakes. But the reality is that we all make mistakes, and each one of us is going to be wrong at some point.
Here are some things you can say when you realize you’re in the wrong:
- “I’ve thought about what you said, and you’re right.”
- “I know I disagreed with you before, but what you said makes a lot of sense. You’re right.”
- “I’m sorry for what I said earlier. I was wrong about that.”
Not only does admitting a mistake prevent you from looking foolish, but it also shows the other person that you value them and their opinions. This will strengthen your relationship. But refusing to admit that you’re wrong will push you away from each other.
How to gain respect by showing respect to others
Treating people well will go a long way toward earning respect from others (even when they don’t deserve it). Your respectful behavior will show many characteristics worthy of respect, including self-control, acceptance of other people’s faults, and an ability to think on your feet.
Here’s how to earn respect by showing respect to other people:
1. Follow the Golden Rule
Remember the “Golden Rule:” Treat others how you want to be treated. Give other people the benefit of the doubt when they’re behaving poorly. They may be going through something that you don’t know about. Choose to treat them with respect anyway. It says a lot when you refuse to treat someone poorly, even when you could have done so.
2. Give credit to other people
If you take credit for someone else’s ideas or work, it’s unlikely that other people will respect you. Give others the acknowledgment they deserve. You want people to trust that when they help you, they’ll get credit. For example, if your sister has helped you redesign your garden and your friends compliment the results, say, “Thanks! It was hard work, but luckily, I had some help from my sister.”
3. Stand up for other people
It takes courage to step in when someone is being bullied. If you stand up for someone who is being harassed or treated badly, you might win respect. It can take a lot of self-confidence to defend someone else, especially if everyone else is ganging up on the victim.
You don’t have to start a big argument when you’re defending someone. For example, a simple “Hey, that’s not fair, stop being unkind” or “That’s a mean thing to say, can we move on?” could work.
You can also stand up for people in their absence. For example, if you are in a group and someone starts gossiping, you could say, “Hey, I don’t think we should talk about people when they aren’t here to speak for themselves.”
4. Help out when you can
Research suggests that lending a helping hand could increase your status in a group. For example, the results of a 2006 study published in the journal Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin showed that in group settings, people who help others tend to gain higher status than those who aren’t so altruistic.[1]
How to gain respect by showing self-respect
In general, we find it easier to respect people when they seem confident, assertive, and at ease with themselves. If it’s clear that you respect yourself, others may assume that they should respect you, too.
Here are some ways you can show self-respect:
1. Acknowledge your good points
You shouldn’t brag. But you also shouldn’t be afraid to acknowledge your good qualities and achievements.
Here are some examples of things most respected and high-value people stand by:
- “I work hard.”
- “I’m a great friend.”
- “I care a lot about other people.”
- “I’m trustworthy and responsible.”
- “I’ve overcome a lot of obstacles in my life.”
- “I’m proud of who I am.”
This doesn’t mean you need to tell people these things directly. Bragging won’t earn you respect. According to 2015 research published in the journal Psychological Science, people who brag tend to come off as unlikeable.[2] But don’t be afraid to let your talents and accomplishments show. For example, if someone asks you how things are going at work, it’s fine to say that you’ve been working hard and earned a promotion.
2. Stop apologizing for yourself
Over-apologizing is a sign that you’re more submissive than dominant. Submissive and dominant behavior can both be bad things in extremes; getting the right balance will win you respect.
Imagine that someone accidentally spills their drink on you. Then, out of pure habit, you say “I’m sorry,” even though it was the other person’s fault.
If you want to gain respect, you’ll need to save your apologies for the times that you’re actually sorry.
One way to stop saying “I’m sorry” too often is by replacing the phrase with a simple “Thank you” when you can.
For example, if someone helps you out by giving you directions, say “Thanks so much for your time” instead of “Sorry to bother you.” “Thank you” shows appreciation to the other person for their time. It switches your mindset from an apologetic one to one of gratitude. The other person will also appreciate not needing to reassure you that you’ve done nothing wrong.
Another thing to say instead of “Sorry” is “Excuse me.” For example, if you bump into someone or need to get past them, “excuse me” is polite but not apologetic.
Finally, you don’t need to apologize for saying “No” to someone if they ask you to do something that doesn’t work for you. For example, if your friend asks you for a lift to the airport in the middle of the night and you need to get up for work the next day, it’s fine to say, “No, I can’t manage that.”
If you want extra support in becoming more assertive, a good therapist can help.
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3. Stand up for your opinions and beliefs
When we compromise our beliefs to fit in, we disrespect ourselves. When someone questions your beliefs, you can be assertive while still being respectful and polite. Try to be comfortable both with your own beliefs and with the fact that some people will disagree with you.
For example, let’s say that you are religious, and the rest of your friendship group are atheists. You don’t need to downplay your beliefs, even if you’re in the minority, because you have the right to choose which religion (if any) to follow. If a conversation gets awkward or heated, you can say, “Let’s agree to disagree” or “Maybe we should change the subject?” and switch to another topic.
4. Avoid too much self-deprecating humor
Often, people respect those who have a good sense of humor. This may be because, according to a 2011 study published in the journal Intelligence, we tend to link humor with intelligence.[3]
But not all forms of humor will win you respect. In particular, self-deprecating humor can work against you.
Here are some examples of what type of messages self-deprecating humor can send:
- “I’m no good.”
- “I’m terrible at everything.”
- “I don’t like myself.”
- “You’re better than me.”
- “I’m not worth your time.”
Self-deprecating humor can be great, but it should be obvious that there’s no truth to it. For example, when Obama joked that he couldn’t turn down the AC in the oval office, that was funny because no one doubted his power.
But if you feel lonely and joke about having no-one to hang out with on the weekends, you’ll paint a picture of yourself as a lonely person, which won’t encourage other people to respect you.
You don’t have to be a natural comedian to be funny and use humor to your advantage. Often, simple and humorous observations about the absurd side of life are enough to make people laugh.
How to gain respect by setting boundaries
Boundary-setting shows people they can’t take you for granted and that you expect them to treat you with respect. Boundaries are useful if you tend to help others all the time without getting anything back.
Let’s say that you feel like your friend is taking advantage of you. They come over to your house any time they want, eat your food, and sleep on your couch. They never ask for permission or contribute money for groceries.
In this case, you can set a boundary that no one can come to your house between 9 pm and 9 am without your permission or invitation.
Once you’ve decided what boundaries you need to set, you need to tell the person you’re having a problem with. For example, you might say to your friend, “From now on, I’m not going to have uninvited guests between 9 pm and 9 am.”
There is almost always a reason why people do the things they do. It helps to consider the other person’s situation. What could have made them act this way? Have they always taken you for granted?
You can suggest ways that their needs can still be met without taking advantage of you. For example, ask your friends to call first if they need a place to sleep or contribute money if they frequently eat at your house.
Even if you’ve set a boundary with someone, there is a chance that they will cross the line. If this happens, your next step should be to have another conversation with them about it.
Explain again:
- Why the things they’re doing are problematic for you
- Your boundaries
- Why you’ve set those boundaries
If they still don’t respect your boundaries after that, you may need to make more drastic changes. Unfortunately, it might be necessary to cut contact with certain friends.
Other ways to gain respect
If you can treat other people well, stand up for yourself, and act with integrity, you’ll be well on your way to earning respect. In this section, we’ll look at a few more things you can do to create a good impression and encourage others to take you seriously.
Here are some other strategies to try if you want people to respect you:
1. Present yourself well
You don’t have to be naturally beautiful, athletic, or handsome to gain respect. But making the most of your appearance and presenting yourself well may encourage other people to respect you.
Good self-presentation includes:
- Dressing appropriately based on the situation
- Wearing well-fitting, clean clothes
- Grooming (e.g., showering, shaving, skincare)
- Getting regular haircuts
- Staying in shape
Things like clothes and looks might seem shallow, but they are important because they shape how other people see you.
For example, a 2013 study found that a tailored, well-fitting suit creates a more positive impression compared with regular, off-the-peg suits. This doesn’t mean you need to invest in high-end tailoring, but it suggests that flattering outfits create a better impression.[4]
You don’t have to spend lots of time or money. All it takes is going to your hairdresser, taking a shower, shaving, or buying some new clothes. It’s just a few hours of work each month (and some of your hard-earned money) to enjoy more respect for the rest of your life.
Staying in shape is a bit more tricky and time-consuming, but the mental and physical health benefits make it worth the effort.
2. Keep up with current affairs
If you can talk about recent news, trends, and pop culture, you’ll come across as well-informed and open-minded. These qualities can help you gain respect. In general, people who show an interest in lots of different things come across as good conversationalists. Stay up to date by skimming the news headlines every morning and looking at the topics that are trending on social media.
3. Make friends with respectable people
If your friends are irresponsible or disrespectful, other people might assume that you are similar or that you approve of your friends’ behavior. To earn respect, choose your friends carefully. Spend time with people you genuinely admire, not people you feel embarrassed to know.
4. Improve your leadership skills
Leadership skills can earn you respect, especially at work. Being a leader means being a person who helps the group achieve its goals.
Strong leaders also stand up for what they believe is right, even if it goes against what others want or believe.
Here are some practical ways to earn respect by being a leader:
- Take the initiative in situations where you are knowledgeable or skilled.
- Set short-term and long-term goals and come up with plans for achieving them. (Find goal-setting worksheets here).
- Make sure people hear you by speaking clearly and loudly.
- Keep your word. Do what you say you’re going to do.
- Lead by example. Work hard if you want others to do the same.
- Do what you believe is right, even if it means going against the majority.
- Treat others with respect at all times.
- Don’t lose your temper or blame others. Focus on problem-solving instead of blaming.
5. Develop a signature skill
Skilled people often command respect. If you don’t have a special skill, consider finding one. You could try learning a professional skill, such as coding or public speaking, a sport, a craft, or a musical instrument. There are lots of free tutorials online, or you could invest in an online course from Udemy or Coursera.
6. Work on your weaknesses
You can earn respect by figuring out what skills you need to improve and working hard to develop them.
For example, let’s say that you’re not very comfortable speaking to crowds, but you have to give presentations as part of your job. If you ask for tips or an opportunity to take a public speaking course, your manager and colleagues will probably respect you for trying to improve your skills.
7. Come up with solutions to problems
Don’t just point out problems. Try to suggest ways to improve the situation. You’ll gain a reputation as a problem-solver rather than someone who just complains all of the time.
For example, instead of saying, “These weekly meetings are a waste of everyone’s time,” you could say, “Sometimes, I wonder whether there’s a more efficient way of keeping everyone up to date with our projects. Would anyone else be interested in setting up a Slack channel for weekly updates? That way, we wouldn’t need to commit to a meeting every Thursday.”
I feel like am too small in the sight of people but meanwhile we are the same level m rank !!! How can I overcome this ?
Very constructive. Really want to master this.
A great site to develop communication skills.
I hope the training is going to be worthwhile.
I’m in grade 10 and most of my classmates are always over looking me and it seems that the only time they know I exist is when they need help or something. And they like teasing me. I’m mostly just ignoring them but I know even though I pretend like I don’t care, it hurts deep inside.
What should I do?
Never care about what other person have, does or say. Always focus on yourself, be your own challenge. Be patient.
My problem is i act too humble; partly to try to make the other person feel comfortable and that they can be themselves without judgement, and partly because I’m not good at being mean. As you can tell it backfires all the time and people walk all over me, what should i do instead? I don’t wanna be mean
I completely understand how you feel about this issue. I always want to be the person that makes other people feel like they can be themselves. What I’ve learned (and still struggle with to this day) is you need to set up boundaries for your peers. You gotta treat yourself and others the way you want other people to be treating you, and sometimes that means being firm on where your lines are drawn. That doesn’t mean you have to be angry, mean, spiteful, or anything like that, however it is okay to feel angry, irritated, or anything like that. You gotta understand what your boundaries are and why, and when to enforce those boundaries. That alone will help you build the confidence you need to stand up for what you believe in.
Communicate well and express your feelings clearly. You will see the change.
Hi — I am currently struggling with the fact that my daughter does not treat me with respect. She makes me feel like I’m her punching bag. Everyone here seems to be younger, so I’m a little embarrassed to say that I’m 59 and my daughter is 34. Somehow, somewhere, this girl has lost respect for me. I am always there for her (probably too much). So I am basically trying to figure out how to talk and respond to her in a way that can turn this around. We mostly disagree about politics and although I’ve told her “now we should not talk about this subject, because it doesn’t get us anywhere”, she still manages to suck me in and it gets ugly. You would think at my age that I wouldn’t have to deal with this, but it seems to be getting worse. I just want to learn some ways that I can be stronger in my language and avoid the frustration that I have every time I talk to her. I’ve always tried to be a good mother, but I am not perfect, I am human. Thank you
A very useful article. Thank you. I am guilty of most of the points. As Musical Director, I’m too nice to my Showband members. I believe this is why one male performer in the group tests my boundaries and patronise ‘s me. Ironically I am not a pushover, yet do not want to exert aggression in order to gain his respect. I feel helpless at the moment, in dealing with him. I know he’s testing me and is probably threatened by my female leadership. It’s going to prove difficult and time consuming, of which time I do not have, to get him to respect me. I have a show to perform now. He’s a brilliant musician, but his narcissistic attitude is upsetting my creativity and I don’t know what to do.
hello. Thank you so much for this piece. I’m having trouble with two people whom I feel should treat me way better than they are doing. I don’t feel good on their presence and lately I’ve had to spend a lot of time with them.
I’m 32 years old and in my father’s house, and my step mother shouts on me or talks down on me to wash dishes. While I was growing up I washed dishes more than anyone in my father’s house and I don’t understand why plate washing has become an issue for her and she has to become so aggressive. I’m not enjoying and I feel like talking down to her back because I’m capable of it. I I feel she has respect for me at all. Please how best do I address this issue.
The second one is her Aunty whom I went to live with for sometime in another city while I worked. One Sunday morning I returned from service and I was so shocked when in front of her son she reprimanded me in the following words:( her son who is 35years old was sitting by her side drinking wine both of them) :
Did you sweep the house this morning before you left?
I risked insulting her immediately because I have a sharp tongue. But somehow I managed to say: I just
returned from service.
This person has continued disrespecting me since then. Please how do I deal with this 62 year old woman.
Sometimes people talk down on others because they are not happy with themselves
I feel so sorry for you, I think the only way out is to find some other place to live. Good luck!
Really useful and insightful, thank you. I need this advice right now!
Beautiful. I love it all.
Absolutely brilliant, very clear and straight forward, best I’ve read in ages . No confusing advice, just clear and totally hit the nail on the head on all ways dealing with awkward people . Thank you so much great stuff!
Very insightful.
Nice article
N.B. You wrote a script to expand apologies (#5); then advised to minimize apologies in two ways (#17, #18).
Please correct.
Thank you,
Barb, aka Barbara
Thank you, Barbara. I’ve corrected it.
What a great article! Thank you so very much. I have been watching the dog whisperer to more clearly understand “boundaries”. It’s very hard to compare re-habbing a dog and training people to people’s way. For one you can challenge a dog silently and prevent the pup from running away. People not so much…. I hope to begin with inappropriate apologies by considering thank-you’s if it fits the situation.
Again, I deeply appreciate this article.
very helpful …thankyou
greAt and Interesting, overloaded with needful ingredient
Very helpful – much appreciated – thanks
I feel like there are different types of low self-esteem, that unless you’re willing to accept it, it’s so easy to critique this article. I really value what you had to say, and my whole persona changed after reading this. Sitting next to my boyfriend who’s really good at making me feel unworthy, I was able to find the mindset that I built up my whole life, before meeting him. I got so used to the insults, I started to believe it. I know that’s unhealthy and I’m trying to work through it… but I felt a glimpse of the true me before I started to disvalue myself. We have to learn to be vulnerable and understand that any negativity that’s targeted towards us, is a lie that we once made an agreement within ourselves attracted by fear.:( We’re so worried about how to respond, and what would be acceptable.. we forget our worth. When you learn to let go… and not take things personally, everything will change start to fall into place and you’ll find who you truly are. Let’s all build each other up and don’t let fear rule our lives… <3
Hello Ra, wise words. I’m saddened to hear how your boyfriend makes you feel unworthy. That makes me feel like you deserve better – because you are worthy!
im a 16 year old girl. ive been so “out there” i used be so shy, i dont want so much people to know me. ive let people walk all over me like a door mat. especially guys. the thing is everyone knows me as an easy going girl. i came to school one day and i was a totally different person. nobody took me seriously. when i say “no” they would drag me by the arm and make me do what they want me to do. i want to be strong. independent. i wanna be me… my true self. deep down i know i do things that shouldn’t have happened. deep down i know i can do better. instead i just say “yes”. i want people to know im not the girl like before. people think im a dumb person because i was always acting dumb. but actually im way smarter than they think. im done with people disrespecting me. im done. what should i do. please lol im desperate here for advice.
Just keep doing what is right, do what you have read in the article above and practice it. Even though your friends don’t see you as you want them to see you now, trust me, they will do that later.
Maryam, begin by saying no. Just start saying no to everyone about everything for a while. The goal is to start setting boundaries and this is a great way to do so. Don’t do anything that makes you uncomfortable. You are a wonderful person of great value to this world so don’t allow yourself to be disrespected or devalued from this moment forward. Do what I’m suggesting and the results will amaze you. Take care of yourself my dear!
Thank you very much. This has given me a guide on how to earn self respect and also to change how others persive me. I accept the great challenge to build and maintain respect for myself and others.
I even have a problem of my friends..I m a 1st year BDS student..and frnds I have got… Are nice they re good..but they don’t respect me..always ignore me…never listen to my talks…always make fun of me…behind me…i get very much frustrated.! Help me to get out.. I want to make others respect me !
First, and I mean no disrespect with this, learn how to communicate by using proper English and grammar, and use complete sentences, not phrases separated by “…”. This method of communication is difficult to read and tends to make others not take you seriously.
I don’t think she is here for English lessons. ..just some advice….I’m sure you managed to understand her..well done to her for trying to speak an additional language!..no reason for any negativity
I concur that.
It’s not that your disrespectful,it’s your friend that have no respect for themselves. It’s not healthy to be in that kind of relationship for too long, you will doubt yourself and lose your self confidence. I know its not easy but try to find a new friend who will respect you but you have to respect yourself first and also don’t be scared to spend some time alone. Be your own best friend and respect yourself so others will respect you.
From all of the comments I’ve read here, I see a familiar pattern forming, a common denominator of reasons why we are not respected and taken seriously, and of which applies to myself too. We’ve become targets for these reasons: Too sensitive and emotional. Low self worth. Harboured guilt from our past, which actually exacerbates our existing low esteem. Trying too hard to impress/make up our shortfalls to others. Conning ourselves that humility/bowing down to others makes us nice people. Confusing respect for others with being a doormat for their abuse. Trying to lead others when we can’t even lead ourselves. Believing that our skills is enough to make others respect us.
Apt!!!
There not your real friends. You said they ignore you and won’t listen to what you have to say, well then there not true friends. True friends would never talk about you behind your back and would listen to you when you need someone to rely on.
Hit them back very hard and tell her to get off of you if she starts violence with you first. Otherwise, you have no reason to fear anyone.
Thank you for sharing this kind of tricks. I wish it will work on me.
Which one would you like to become better at? Choose one and focus on improving it!
I Like This Article Very Well. Once One Is Practising, One Is Hopeful Of Perfection. This Article Is Helpful. My Advice Is That People Should Try All Possible Ways To Be Respected In The Society.
Sorry but this article is NOT true.
You canNOT control if someone respects you.
You can only live your life, and try your best to be a good person, and pray to God. If someone respects you is NOT in your control. You canNOT control that.
How do you control someone else’s behavior??? This is impossible.
You do everything correct and sometimes people will disrespect you more. Why? Because of envy and jealousy. Respect is not something you can “earn”. It’s a big lie.
I disagree.
For example, there was a user who wrote a mean-spirited comment to another user on this blog (which I deleted). That behavior made me lose respect for them.
How you decide to live your life and treat others will affect what you get back. Not always, but most often.
I disagree
You can control how others view you.
The way you respect your pastor and a theif are not the same.
Because of their behaviour, you view them differently.
If your pastor becomes a theif you’ll no longer respect him.
So this is a great article.
Thanks for writing
That means you just lied to yourself
Tell me, how can you change a fighter into a calm person if you fight back at every little thing they do? Tell me how you calm you partner down when they are wrong and believe they are right to tell them they are wrong by forcefully imposing the truth in them? If you can answer this questions correctly, then you can answer if you can or cannot cause people to respect you. Thanks
That’s when you walk away from those kinds of people. If you respect yourself and assert yourself and someone still doesn’t respect you, they aren’t worth your time anyway. There’s plenty of other people who are decent enough to show you respect.
To Anonymous, THANK YOU!!! That is sooooo true. You can’t make someone respect you even if you’ve done everything on this list. I know; tried every one on this list and still get disrespected.
This last comment illustrates the need for reasoned thought and emotional calmness. To enforce their opinion they capitalized “NOT.” Was this is ensure that this word was not missed, or to blast an opinion as something that could not be challenged.
I suspect same people will make many mistakes in life and assume the whole world is wrong. As we grow and learn emotionally we learn the whole word is often nothing more than the mirror we see of ourselves.
Bullying the innocent and truly bad people do exist.
However, we need to recognize the difference between the honest feedback from others from the ignorance of a few.
Well said
You cannot FORCE anyone to respect you, but you can behave in ways that make people more likely to respect you. That is what this fine article is about.
YOU CAN..PEOPLE TREAT YOU HOW YOU TEACH THEM TOO..POWER AND RESPECT IS NOT A GAME LEFT TO CHANCE
Find different friends immediately. One second more of time spent around them conveys you are willing to accept their behavior. Treat them as if they are a gray rock on the side of the road by passing them by and ignoring their existence. They want to get a reaction out of you. You can tell your older friend it was nice knowing her but you don’t play that way. If the harassment continues, immediately tell your parents and teacher.
This is a great article. You’re right, trying to change everything at the same time is too much to deal with, so going through it step by step is a great solution. In my opinion it all comes down to self-respect as a starting point and people who genuinely believe in your success and support you regardless of your flaws.
Don’t do things to devalue your authenticity e.g. Don’t do stupid things on social media, or devalue someone else opinion and believes just because they are not the same as your own. Keep high morals and avoid making mistakes in the sense of morals .Be an inspiration towards others instead of the guy who nobody wants to be associated with because of his poor life decisions.
I like that, integrity! Maybe I should add one more principle to explain that in more depth and how you can increase your integrity?
I would say integrity is one of the fundamental qualities that people respect you for. Even if you’re not the nicest, if you always do the right thing, people will respect you 100% even if they don’t like you.
I found this very helpful. You tend to get disrespect from society when you hold strong convictions on subjects that differ from the rest.
I think this it’s very usefull for every humanbeing im try to change my self for along time but this is the first thing help me to get respect ebd
No one take me seriously just because i crack jokes evry time the reason is I dose’nt want to create tense situtation but no one understand my veiw not family nor my friend respect me for them i m nothing more then a joke so pls tell how should i deal with it
Sneha,I also faced the same situation but slowly after introspection I understood where I went wrong.Nowdays I have started giving back to people who make incessant fun and don’t take it seriously and I practice with the choice of words where it will hurt them so that they realise.i practice this in the bathroom while taking shower imagining they are in font of me .This has worked out for me for sure.I wish you all the luck in developing your personality.
Please note that I am also developing but it is a tip I am sharing with you based on my realization and how I coped with the situation
Let me now if I can be of any help to you
try to repect your self