The science behind the experiment
In our course “Fast Friend Protocol“, you’ll learn how to talk to people and connect with them—even if you don’t know what to say or get stuck in endless small talk.
How will you use what you learned in this video clip? Share in the comments below! If someone writes something you agree with, let them know you have their support!
This method will help me when showing new people around at work (we get visitors quite frequently), so thank you!
What does the ‘OFC’ bit stand for?
o is for being okay that you are nervous.
f is to focus on the person you are talking to, instead on yourself.
c is to be curious on what the person is talking about
Watch the video!
Thanks, my problem actually is with age mates. i am a student in a university but i cannot make friends, i make new friends daily because i fear remaining in a relationship where people will get to know my real self, besides, i feel i dont fit in the company of the friends i choose because kind of i don’t measure up to their status. help me to feel accepted and welcome among groups of people.
I was in your situation when I was in college. I didn’t have emtional or financial support. I began to really concentrate on my grades. By the end of the semester I was invited into s study group wherein I sort of became the leader. Not only did my own grades go up but, I was invited to social events. I still felt separated (because School and books kept me broke) but at least other students knew my name and wanted to join whatever study group I was involved with. I still miss school but an awful lot of people (at least) refer to me as being smart . It’s a step forward at least to overcoming my own inferiority complex.
This was so helpful! This definitely is something that highly applies to me.
This makes so much sense; the thing where questions just come naturally when you’re genuinely curious about someone else sounds so realistic and useful. I can’t wait to try it out, thank you so much for this! I’ll be practicing a lot with my friends, and then I’ll try it out as the new school term is starting for me!
Thank you!
I find it difficult to be in consistent touch with a person even the girl I ever to be a partner in future. I don’t know why I find it difficult to relate with girls in general, can’t approach and talk with them,to the extent that you passed by then without saying a word but in my, desire to be with them, guide me to dealt with issue
Same!
Great! This will really help me. To focus on the person and not yourself is the best advice In my opinion.
I feel very confident talking to strangers like in the grocery store about a item or in the swimming pool where I am at quite a bit I have a lot of trouble talking to people that I’ve known a long time it always starts out friendly and then all of a sudden I can see a withdrawal and it’s at a Christmas party I was at or had a happy hour party and RV Park. I don’t feel nervous around them I just see people pull back and then I try to stay away from them but then a loneliness Creeps in. So I consider my personality unlikable
Omg same here
I appreciate this method and use it…to my own detriment. Now people enjoy talking with me because I give them an outlet to be listened to, to have someone interested in them, and they feel engaged. But while they enjoy this, it feels one sided and hallow, because I do not share anything about myself. I feel uncomfortable in sharing because that’s not the precedent of what’s been set and I feel like they don’t want to know anything about me. When does it become a mutual sharing situation?
Obviously you’re going for the wrong friends.
Be a bit more selective the way you usually do things and that should work out.
If they don’t also wanna ask you questions n stuff, I mean it’s fine I don’t wanna talk of my life but I do wonder if they even care yk?
So TLDR: get a better friend, that person might not realize they aren’t considerate, or they are an asshole who wants a submissive receptacle for their emotions
Oh wait I misinterpreted your words.
You’re gonna have to have a point in the conversation where there is natural silence. It should be comfortable and long enough that the other person starts asking questions. Maybe you’re speeding ahead with the ways to do this too.
Sometimes they’ll naturally ask questions. You may be speaking with someone who doesn’t wish to be rude by asking questions and could be an introvert. Could be a personality thing.
Very good coaching. It really helped me
Thank you so much for this! I’ve really been needing help to overcome my anxiety!!
Looking forward for more help. That was a good start for me to be aware of. Thanks
Hey man, I’m glad I stumbled across your website, really looking forward to the upcoming emails 🙂
Hi David, I have 3 fake friends. Let’s call them Emma, Liz, and Bella. So Emma is the leader of the group I guess. Liz and Bella just follow what she says. I’m in the group but they ignore me. They didn’t include me in anything. Emma had a birthday party and didn’t invite me and then talked about it the next day. I’ve been “friends” with them for 1 year. And there has been no improvements. We also have no same interests. But, I’m too scared to leave the group. What should I do?
Hey, I know I’m not David, but I’ve been in a situation like yours before. My advice is that you should make friends with some more people who aren’t part of your social circle in the event you want to ditch your friends. This will provide you with backup so you won’t be lonely after leaving them. Find people who are nice to talk to, and maybe share interests too! Then after that, you can handle the “break up” in one of two ways. You can completely ghost them (like I did), explain to them why you don’t want to be friends, or just slowly drift apart. I think, for you, the best of these is to drift. To do this, just start talking to them less and less, and start hanging out with your new friends more, until you have basically left the group. This method is the one that causes the least amount of conflict.
Hope I helped!
Hi David, my biggest problem now is: I was very close to a church sister but what happened is that their is a third party i got a little obsess i wont lie i am still feeling jealousy. Now our friendship is dry n dull she dont trust me anymore its killing me! I have doubts i feel like the talk about me we do talk but i get nervous i get a knot in my stomach. I apologise one too many times but to no avail. Please help me im dying here.
Varonnie to be honest with you displaying jealously is a big turn off for women. You might want to give this church sister a little distance. Just greet her when you see her but don’t try to engage her in conversation for some months. She will get over it with time. Instead of getting jealous always be calm and non-needy. Work on your social skills. That way you will have options when it comes to women. Cheers
Thanks so much for this , I feel like I really need a lot of help with my anxiety. Most times I feel like I am not taken seriously and not understood. It feels like I say and do the wrong things every time with the way people treat me. When people ignore me I feel like something is wrong with me, and I feel hurt most times this happens to me.
I really hope you can help me feel better about myself and be less anxious.
I needed this thank you for helping people like this I have a serious problem and I feel like this will help!
Sounds good. I’m excited to finally try & overcome my social anxiety after all these years. I feel like I’m a fun person, but the nervousness an anxiety get the best of me & feel like I’m that person that people love to try & make me look stupid,(like I weak) so they look better. Thank you so much. I hope this is legitimate & not going to be trying to sell me something. Thank you!
Hi.
So, I wanted to do some research into why my mind goes blank.
I feel like I have nothing to say most of the time.
When I get asked for things I want my mind goes blank aswel when someone thanks me I start to feel nervous and it’s like don’t know what else to say, in those situations everything that I think of just feels wrong to say.
I’ll often not want to speak in groups main cause is when an entire group stops and looks at me i feel uncomfortable and I begin to shake like I’m standing on the nerve in my foot that makes it jump repetitively. When it’s a one on one I’ll often draw blanks when trying to think of something interesting to ask.
hey. how do i join and become part of an existing group.
also answer all these questions please
How to avoid awkward silence and conversations hitting a wall
How to get past the small talk and actually start bonding
Why conversations die out and what to do about it
Why people stop keeping in touch after a while and what to do about it
How to stay in touch with someone you’ve just met in a natural way (and how to meet up again without forcing it)
Hi, I’m not David but for the first question, just make close friends with one person in the group, and once your close enough, they may invite you to sit with their group or something like that. From there, talk to their friends and make friends with them. I believe he has videos about all the other questions you asked.
Hope I helped!
It was really helpful
I have a crush on someone I just don’t know how to start a conversation without looking like I like him I’m not good at being subtle
I’m on a girls holiday and don’t know half of them – really trying to be friendly but am feeling quite isolated or left out can you help? Please?
You are amazing bro.
I am familiar with these techniques. BUT … My nervousness tends to make me over eager in that aspect of being interested in what the other person has to say. Often I find myself coming across as someone who is trying too hard. Especially when it comes to finding matching interests and similar traits with that other person. Such things that normally bond. So my eagerness drives me to almost cut the other person off instead. And that is not good of course. It kind of kills the intention, and instead I come across as a person who is just interested in talking about herself, or a know-all. And that is NOT what I want to do. I need to learn how to truly relate to others, without making these constant efforts to bond by commenting on similar traits and skills.
The hardest thing for me is having meaningful coversations with persons that in my opinion is talking way too slow. It allways makes me feel like I allready know what they are about to say next. And most of the time it is extremely hard to stay patient and focused in such situations. I do not want to feel like my time is wasted, but yet I feel like this quite often. It makes me want to shout out ”For gods sake, get to the point that I allready figured out two minutes ago”. Do I not like conversating with others just for the conversations alone? Am I introvert? Probably. I would love to find a way to stay genuinely interested in what the other person has to say, not minding the pace. I do care.
OFC is also an acronym for “Of course!” which should be your response to any invitations to social events where you can practice 🙂
Thank you. This is exactly the sort of thing I need.
Thank you. This is great
The information shared in this video is amazing. I’m going to put it to use tonight at a small party.
This girl isn’t shy. She talks to a stranger.
My anxiety has proved difficult for me because I move from school to school each year never really stay long enough to become close enough with people that I’ll become friends with them.
I hope remembering OFC in these situations will help me lots more in the future, thank you!
I need questions that I can ask people whom I’m trying to make my friends, and also people who are already my friends but missing that deep connection.
I can’t watch your video because the china line.doyou have other mean to watch this .Thank you so much!
I am a teenager and for the most part I have many friends. However this summer I haven’t been keeping up with them, and now I am worried that we many not be friends anymore. At night I start over thinking it and then I get very anxious.Then when I do see them again, I get awkward and scared. I just want to get over this and become more open and relaxed. Thanks.
Hey, I may not b David, but I think I have good advice. You shouldn’t be anxious about this! In fact, not talking over the summer just gives you more things to talk about! In my experience, meeting up with someone too often or keeping up a lot tends to weaken the friendship because you just run out of things to talk about. Use this opportunity to tell stories about your summer, and ask about theirs! (But make sure not to overshare, and make sure to listen to what they say!)
Hope I helped!