How to Get Past Boring Small Talk And Connect

How to be more interesting (if you don’t automatically get noticed)

How do you stand out and catch people’s interest if you’re not super charismatic or have an amazing life?

That’s what you learn in our course Invisible to Interesting.

This course is for you who…

  1. Feel like you aren’t interesting (and don’t automatically get noticed)
  2. Worry that you’ll bore or bother people
  3. Don’t know what to say, and because of that feel like you don’t have much of a personality
  4. Feel uncomfortable sharing about yourself
  5. Feel like you lack knowledge or experience, and don’t want to look stupid or like you don’t know stuff, so you avoid engaging in conversation
  6. Feel like you’re bragging when you do talk about your experiences

Click here to learn more about Invisible to Interesting.

411 Comments

Add a Comment
  1. This is something in particular that I struggle with as most of the time conversations I have are quite superficial and don’t get that deep or meaningful. Not to say that this occurs every time though.

    Reply
  2. David!

    When it comes to start making conversation, I almost don’t have any issues when avoiding small talk by asking about the person’s relationship to the subject. Although it is difficult sometimes for me to ask the “right” questions when I don’t know if we have anything in common or which interesting questions I should ask to let the conversation continue.

    Reply
  3. David!

    When it comes to start making conversation, I almost don’t have any issues when avoiding small talk by asking about the person’s relationship to the subject. Although it is difficult sometimes for me to ask the “right” questions when I don’t know if we have anything in common or which interesting questions I should ask to let the conversation continue.

    Reply
  4. Hello David! Thank you for your very wise lessons so far! I would like to be better at contacting girls I do not know, at a bar or via the internet. How to start a smooth conversation?

    Reply
  5. Hello David! Thank you for your very wise lessons so far! I would like to be better at contacting girls I do not know, at a bar or via the internet. How to start a smooth conversation?

    Reply
  6. Hi, this helped me a lot. Something I would like to get better at is when it comes to conversation ,how I can stop over-thinking stuff and how to stop being too shy to go up to people. Everyday, there is always someone I really want to talk to but I don’t have the guts to because something is holding me back. I guess I’m just terrified of the outcome and how they will view me after. When I talk to people I usually stutter either from not knowing what to say or just being really scared at that moment.

    Reply
  7. Hi, this helped me a lot. Something I would like to get better at is when it comes to conversation ,how I can stop over-thinking stuff and how to stop being too shy to go up to people. Everyday, there is always someone I really want to talk to but I don’t have the guts to because something is holding me back. I guess I’m just terrified of the outcome and how they will view me after. When I talk to people I usually stutter either from not knowing what to say or just being really scared at that moment.

    Reply
  8. Hi!

    That was a good question. I have never thought about what I would like to improve specifically when it comes to having a conversation. I do have some problems with conversations dying out because I do not know what to say. I have watched your video about that problem and I think you have helped med a lot! Thanks for that! I would like to be able to make the person I’m talking to feel comfortable. I want him or her to feel good around me and that he or she can trust me. Basically, I want to avoid awkardness.

    David, what do you think about filtering out stuff to say in your mind that you think may sound stupid or inappropriate. Is that a good or bad thing to do?

    Reply
  9. Hi!

    That was a good question. I have never thought about what I would like to improve specifically when it comes to having a conversation. I do have some problems with conversations dying out because I do not know what to say. I have watched your video about that problem and I think you have helped med a lot! Thanks for that! I would like to be able to make the person I’m talking to feel comfortable. I want him or her to feel good around me and that he or she can trust me. Basically, I want to avoid awkardness.

    David, what do you think about filtering out stuff to say in your mind that you think may sound stupid or inappropriate. Is that a good or bad thing to do?

    Reply
  10. Hi David,

    Thank you for your information and your video. These sound like great tips. I hope to give them a try – and become successful in even making a friend or two, or at least have people enjoy talking with me.

    Debbie

    Reply
  11. Hi David,

    Thank you for your information and your video. These sound like great tips. I hope to give them a try – and become successful in even making a friend or two, or at least have people enjoy talking with me.

    Debbie

    Reply
  12. I want to improve avoiding overthinking too much in the conversation, which often leads to a more nervous and more tense me. When the muscles are tense, Your voice and how you respond automatically gets worse and people “smell” it and just vanish…..I also want to have better reponses. Sometimes I feel, the people I speak to just turns quiet because I might try to sound too “smart” or it’s too obvious. It awkwards people out:(

    Reply
  13. I want to improve avoiding overthinking too much in the conversation, which often leads to a more nervous and more tense me. When the muscles are tense, Your voice and how you respond automatically gets worse and people “smell” it and just vanish…..I also want to have better reponses. Sometimes I feel, the people I speak to just turns quiet because I might try to sound too “smart” or it’s too obvious. It awkwards people out:(

    Reply
      • So… I said i want to do that
        But I don’t have a clue about how to do it and my social anxiety already caused me depression
        Do you have any ideas on how can i improve?

      • Loud and chaotic group conversations can be really hard to get into. Normal social rules like letting everyone speak their mind and not interrupting does not always apply, it’s more about enjoying the energy and feel of the conversation. We sometimes have to accept that a group conversation can never be as deep and intellectually stimulating as a one on one. So try taking it more for what it is and just have fun with your friends, don’t be afraid to interrupt from time to time if you have something fun to say.

        To relax more and actually find something to say, try focusing more on the conversation and what the other people are saying, instead of trying to come up with something to say. Ironically, that usually helps in coming up with what to say.

      • Do you write Aditi? If not you should. Taking or speaking is not the only way to communicate. Your writing might bring you readers and help you express what you feel inside your head.

  14. Your videos are being a great help. Thank u. Now I wanted to tell that there are some people who are naturally great conversationalist. My problem is that I feel a little discomfort while talking to such people,because as they start to listen and pay attention to what I’m talking… I start going blank. I feel weak. I feel a sudden confidence loss. So I need your help to improve this. Thank you again for help.

    Reply
  15. Your videos are being a great help. Thank u. Now I wanted to tell that there are some people who are naturally great conversationalist. My problem is that I feel a little discomfort while talking to such people,because as they start to listen and pay attention to what I’m talking… I start going blank. I feel weak. I feel a sudden confidence loss. So I need your help to improve this. Thank you again for help.

    Reply
  16. this was a great blog and video. I will definitely use this to be a better conversationalist and be more open and comfortable talking to people.

    Reply
  17. this was a great blog and video. I will definitely use this to be a better conversationalist and be more open and comfortable talking to people.

    Reply
  18. I just want to have deep, non-awkward conversations with people I meet without the nerves. This has been a life-long struggle for me and I want to change that.

    Reply
  19. I just want to have deep, non-awkward conversations with people I meet without the nerves. This has been a life-long struggle for me and I want to change that.

    Reply
    • Dialect behaviour therapy- emotional regulation skills/checking the facts. Helped me a ton.

      When you walk into the room, don’t worry about what they think of you but about what you think of them.

      Reply
  20. So… I said i want to do that
    But I don’t have a clue about how to do it and my social anxiety already caused me depression
    Do you have any ideas on how can i improve?

    Reply
  21. I want to be able to keep a conversation going and to stop just asking what’s the next class or what did your get in question 2 and start talking about funny things

    I want also to be able to enter and be accepted in groups of people that already know themselves for long time and to stop being treated as child/inferior by the other because of my social skills..

    Reply
  22. I want to be able to keep a conversation going and to stop just asking what’s the next class or what did your get in question 2 and start talking about funny things

    I want also to be able to enter and be accepted in groups of people that already know themselves for long time and to stop being treated as child/inferior by the other because of my social skills..

    Reply

Leave a Reply to Miriam Cancel reply