How to be more interesting (if you don’t automatically get noticed)
How do you stand out and catch people’s interest if you’re not super charismatic or have an amazing life?
That’s what you learn in our course Invisible to Interesting.
This course is for you who…
- Feel like you aren’t interesting (and don’t automatically get noticed)
- Worry that you’ll bore or bother people
- Don’t know what to say, and because of that feel like you don’t have much of a personality
- Feel uncomfortable sharing about yourself
- Feel like you lack knowledge or experience, and don’t want to look stupid or like you don’t know stuff, so you avoid engaging in conversation
- Feel like you’re bragging when you do talk about your experiences
I am emigrated to a country very far from my homecountry.(but it is similar in US or western Europe) in Many foreingers live here though but when I ask a personal question like ‘why did you move to this country?’they close up immediately and walk away or really change the subject completely. Most people avoid personal questions no way to get an answer it turns people of. I tried many of the tricks in my life even wen also reveiling something about myself on te matter first they still not reply. Most people dislike personal talk.
Actually many things in the mails I tried already in my long life and they are exactly the things which turn of people.
It all sounds so easy but reality is something totally different.
Also gender plays a big part. And origin I guess.
There is a big difference starting a conversation with an Italian woman(I am a woman) or starting it with a German or US woman. I experienced a lot of these examples. The Italian is much more approachable then the German one.
And there is much more which you should research well before making people thing it is all so easy. It is absolutely not and it is even more difficult since social media. People not start a conversation easy anymore.
I am emigrated to a country very far from my homecountry.(but it is similar in US or western Europe) in Many foreingers live here though but when I ask a personal question like ‘why did you move to this country?’they close up immediately and walk away or really change the subject completely. Most people avoid personal questions no way to get an answer it turns people of. I tried many of the tricks in my life even wen also reveiling something about myself on te matter first they still not reply. Most people dislike personal talk.
Actually many things in the mails I tried already in my long life and they are exactly the things which turn of people.
It all sounds so easy but reality is something totally different.
Also gender plays a big part. And origin I guess.
There is a big difference starting a conversation with an Italian woman(I am a woman) or starting it with a German or US woman. I experienced a lot of these examples. The Italian is much more approachable then the German one.
And there is much more which you should research well before making people thing it is all so easy. It is absolutely not and it is even more difficult since social media. People not start a conversation easy anymore.
I will love to learn how to go over feelings of inferiority when talking with some people.
I will love to learn how to go over feelings of inferiority when talking with some people.
Hi Anonymous,
The questions to answer for yourself are: why do I feel inferior and why do I think this person is better than me?
Work on being rooted in self-respect and self-love and then you are like a solid tree with strong roots standing in your life and you don’t need external validation of being a good and strong person because you know you are.
Best wishes to you.
My goal is to be with others without being tired or worn-out. Often I notice when I have fun this is easier:) I think it is about me having a comfortable distance so I do not lose myself into listening….as I am psychotherapeut….
When I have fun I feel free, enjoy and can have a better connection with me and others. So I need to learn how to stay free, joyful with others to make close relationships effortless:)
My goal is to be with others without being tired or worn-out. Often I notice when I have fun this is easier:) I think it is about me having a comfortable distance so I do not lose myself into listening….as I am psychotherapeut….
When I have fun I feel free, enjoy and can have a better connection with me and others. So I need to learn how to stay free, joyful with others to make close relationships effortless:)
Dear David,
I am unable to join in to existing conversations easily. As a Doctor, I am not the super intellectual type, but I work very hard and crave making friends outside of my work. So, when a gathering does come up, I am usually late and must “join in”.
I usually have to invite myself to a table, and am not good at “breaking in”.
It is easier with other Drs, but there I am back with my own kind. Any ideas?
Sandra
Dear David,
I am unable to join in to existing conversations easily. As a Doctor, I am not the super intellectual type, but I work very hard and crave making friends outside of my work. So, when a gathering does come up, I am usually late and must “join in”.
I usually have to invite myself to a table, and am not good at “breaking in”.
It is easier with other Drs, but there I am back with my own kind. Any ideas?
Sandra
What I want to improve in is just starting a good conversation. A few days ago I wanted to talk to a boy i really looked up too. But every attempt lead me to an anxiety attack.
I kept thinking, “What if i mess up?” “What if I seem to obsessed?” “What if I make a blunder of myself?”
That day actually brought me here, so I can try to improve myself from:
1. Never having another social anxiety attack.
2. Being able to talk to the people I want too, properly.
What I want to improve in is just starting a good conversation. A few days ago I wanted to talk to a boy i really looked up too. But every attempt lead me to an anxiety attack.
I kept thinking, “What if i mess up?” “What if I seem to obsessed?” “What if I make a blunder of myself?”
That day actually brought me here, so I can try to improve myself from:
1. Never having another social anxiety attack.
2. Being able to talk to the people I want too, properly.
Hi René, good idea. Can I practise with you too?
sorry I missed the reply
I know this is a little off topic by I’m an introvert who has difficulty fitting in with a group of really extroverted people in school. I’ve been trying to fit in with them for almost 3yrs now and nothing seems to be working. HELP !!!
sorry I missed the reply
I know this is a little off topic by I’m an introvert who has difficulty fitting in with a group of really extroverted people in school. I’ve been trying to fit in with them for almost 3yrs now and nothing seems to be working. HELP !!!
I kind of want to improve at what all these people have said in the comments. Because of that I also want to improve on how to always bring my self esteem up, and to not always bring it down. By the way thank you David and Viktor for all the help you are giving!
I’d like to get better at approaching new people, start a conversation and bond.
I’d like to get better at approaching new people, start a conversation and bond.
I just want to be relaxed when talking to people, and not feel like there is a voice shoving me down in my head as I do so. I want to be comfortable.
I just want to be relaxed when talking to people, and not feel like there is a voice shoving me down in my head as I do so. I want to be comfortable.
Girls are a Pandora’s box to me. I’ll crack the case eventually. If I do it on my own I’ll take everything for myself. I’ve earned it.
Give a random answer. Duh. Hehe JK. Respond however you feel. If you feel silent. Be silent. If you wish to do something, do it. You are free to do as you wish, whenever you like.
My bank account is empty. How am I supposed to do anything? Nobody listens to what I have to say… Everyone want to lie and be lied to. So if lies are what they want… I suppose.
It’ll be great fun to watch the confusion go on forever.
Thank you for your wonderful and supportive comments to everyone on the blog Biju. Your perspective is very interesting.
I’m from the other side of the spectrum and I have no problems talking to people or opening up conversations. Yet here in Scandinavia I struggle quite a bit because most people are reserved. I do my best to open conversations also get people to open up and share their experiences. Yet in Scandinavia it takes more than a year to become close friends, if not more.
A note to shy and RESERVED people is to at least take a few steps forward once the extrovert has asked 3 questions to you in an attempt to open the conversation. If you think the extrovert needs to ask you 10 questions before you become curious, then I’m sorry that’s a tough ask.
I hope David’s videos help RESERVED people realize they need to unreserve a bit so that there is opportunity for both sides to converse.
I’m from the other side of the spectrum and I have no problems talking to people or opening up conversations. Yet here in Scandinavia I struggle quite a bit because most people are reserved. I do my best to open conversations also get people to open up and share their experiences. Yet in Scandinavia it takes more than a year to become close friends, if not more.
A note to shy and RESERVED people is to at least take a few steps forward once the extrovert has asked 3 questions to you in an attempt to open the conversation. If you think the extrovert needs to ask you 10 questions before you become curious, then I’m sorry that’s a tough ask.
I hope David’s videos help RESERVED people realize they need to unreserve a bit so that there is opportunity for both sides to converse.
Be curious don’t be superficial. If you approach a stranger start with “are you from around here?” Now be prepared with a second and third question as a follow up. Like if they say I just moved here, you can ask where they lived before and why they moved. Be curious about people and ask slightly personal questions. You can even precede the questions by saying “hope you don’t mind me asking”
Be curious don’t be superficial. If you approach a stranger start with “are you from around here?” Now be prepared with a second and third question as a follow up. Like if they say I just moved here, you can ask where they lived before and why they moved. Be curious about people and ask slightly personal questions. You can even precede the questions by saying “hope you don’t mind me asking”
Give a random answer. Duh. Hehe JK. Respond however you feel. If you feel silent. Be silent. If you wish to do something, do it. You are free to do as you wish, whenever you like.
Thank you for your wonderful and supportive comments to everyone on the blog Biju. Your perspective is very interesting.
My bank account is empty. How am I supposed to do anything? Nobody listens to what I have to say… Everyone want to lie and be lied to. So if lies are what they want… I suppose.
It’ll be great fun to watch the confusion go on forever.
Be curious don’t be superficial. If you approach a stranger start with “are you from around here?” Now be prepared with a second and third question as a follow up. Like if they say I just moved here, you can ask where they lived before and why they moved. Be curious about people and ask slightly personal questions. You can even precede the questions by saying “hope you don’t mind me asking”
If they are standing alone or looking lost, they too are looking for friends. You should listen to the OFC podcast and apply that to them. Think of it like you are helping them make friends, this will also add a goal to your life – Helping people like you, by helping yourself.
Do you write Aditi? If not you should. Taking or speaking is not the only way to communicate. Your writing might bring you readers and help you express what you feel inside your head.
This is something in particular that I struggle with as most of the time conversations I have are quite superficial and don’t get that deep or meaningful. Not to say that this occurs every time though.