Why Don’t People Like Me – Quiz

Believing that no-one likes you can be an incredibly lonely feeling.

If you don’t have a large social circle, feeling like no-one likes you can make it very difficult to find new friends.

If you do have friends and relationships, you can be left worrying that people are only hanging out with you through a sense of obligation.

I’ve put together this quiz to help you understand why you might feel this way, and what you can do about it. Whether your belief that others dislike you is true or not, there are things you can do to help build the social network that you want.

Also, see our guide on what to do if you don’t have any friends.


Part 1: Assessing your situation
Part 2: Thought patterns that make it hard for people to like you
Part 3: Behaviour patterns that make it hard for people to like you

Part 1: Assessing your situation

Sometimes, the way we think about the world can lead us to believe that others don’t like us, even when they do. These types of incorrect thinking are known as cognitive distortions. In this section, we will look at some of the most common cognitive distortions to get a more realistic sense of how people view you.

Have you ever felt that someone didn't like you and found out later that wasn’t true?

Do you sometimes feel like people are “just being nice” when they are friendly to you?

Do you tend to feel like people either think you’re awesome or hate you? (Black-and-white thinking)

Have you ever felt so hurt or upset that you didn’t notice someone trying to reach out or be kind to you?

Do you feel like you’ll know how a social interaction will play out before it starts?

Do you wonder why some people do like you?

Part 2: Thought patterns that make it hard for people to like you

Although other people aren’t mind-readers, there are some ways of looking at the world that can make you less attractive to spend time with. These thought patterns can show in your facial expressions, voice, and behavior.
Changing how you think about the world can change how other people feel about you.

Do you generally find people boring?

Do you find yourself judging others?

Do you assume that general critical comments are actually aimed at you?

Do you get frustrated when it takes time for someone to warm up to you?

Do you suffer from depression?

Could you be too clingy?

Do people ever tell you that you come across as intimidating or stand-offish?

Do you get angry easily?

Part 3: Behavior patterns that make it hard for people to like you

As well as your thought patterns driving people away, you may have some behaviors that make it more difficult for others to enjoy spending time with you. There is no judgment associated with these behaviors. Many of us do these things from time to time. The important thing is to make progress.

Do you sometimes interrupt others when they are speaking?

Do you often complain about things?

Do you wait for others to invite you rather than taking initiative?

Do you tend to share personal topics quickly?

Do you avoid social situations?

Do you lack hobbies and outside interests?

Do you swear a lot or use language that others may find uncomfortable?

Do you tend to be the one talking the most?

Do people sometimes take a step back from you during conversations?

Do people sometimes ask you to use a softer voice?

Show references +

Natalie Watkins writes about socializing for SocialSelf. She holds a B.A. in Experimental Psychology from the University of Oxford, an M.S.c. in Cognitive and Clinical Neuroscience from the University of London, and is currently in her final year of an MSc in Integrative Counselling at the University of Northampton.

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    • I hate being alone and nobody wants to talk to me they just look around fun them not me when I go event if feel upset so much when I see them they’re having fun for me it’s not I guess people’s own happiness but for me isn’t I don’t know where to find happiness and friendship not good social.

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