“My colleagues try to dominate me and make fun of me. And if I try to answer them, they just laugh at me. I don’t know how to reply.”
“I have 3 roommates, and I’m the butt of every damn joke. They’re all witty, and I can’t seem to think of anything quickly. When they make fun of me, I can’t think of a rebuttal. They make inside jokes and jokes that are only directed at me. They come up with new things every day.”
If you can relate to these quotes from our readers, this guide is for you. There’s a difference between two friends joking and someone making fun of you or trying to dominate you. If you’re looking to get more respect in general, you should read our guide with several tricks that make people respect you.
In this article, you’ll learn how to deal with someone who makes fun of you.
Sections
- What to do when someone makes fun of you
- Reasons why some people make fun of others
- Common questions
What to do when someone makes fun of you
When someone puts you down or makes you the butt of a joke, it’s normal to freeze up. Your mind might go blank, or it may seem like everything you say or do in response to the bully only makes the situation worse. Fortunately, there are several simple strategies you can use to shut down teasing and harassment.
Here’s how to deal with someone who makes fun of you:
1. Don’t give a predictable reply
If you respond to the bully in a predictable way, you are implying that they have said something funny, even though they haven’t. When you rise to the bully’s bait, they will feel encouraged to keep on having fun at your expense.
Here’s an example showing why a predictable reply can validate a bully’s comments and make the situation worse:
Bully: “So what movies do you like, you know, except for dirty movies? Hahahaha.”
You: “Haha, yeah right!” or “Shut up!” or “Haha, no I don’t!”
Bully: “I knew it! HAHAHA.”
Everyone around you will probably laugh along too, not necessarily because they don’t care about your feelings, but because they just don’t realize how bad you feel. And since the “funny one” got the response they were looking for, they’re more likely to do it again in the future.
2. Agree too much with the joke
This technique is effective and easy to use for beginners just starting to find their voice against the “funny guy/girl.”
Here’s the trick: While keeping a poker face, agree too much with their stupid question or statement. Don’t laugh or smile. Just give them your answer with a straight face.
The reason this works is that your response will be the opposite of what they expect. They will either be at a loss for words or they will look like a complete idiot if they try to push the joke further.
When you respond this way, everyone will see your disapproval and will realize that what the “funny one” said wasn’t funny at all. The situation will end awkwardly for the bully because they will be laughing alone.
Here’s an example of how you get the upper hand on the funny guy/girl by agreeing too much:
Funny one: “So what movies do you like? You know, except for dirty movies? Hahahaha.”
You: “Oh, you didn’t know? I only watch dirty movies.”
Funny one: “… well then.”
When the bully has backed off, change the subject and continue talking as if nothing happened.
If possible, keep ignoring the funny one and any further attempts they make at the same kind of joke. Being non-reactive while you “agree” makes your disapproval crystal clear to everyone. You’re basically treating them like your irritating little brother. This shows that you do not tolerate bad behavior like that and gives you the upper hand.
3. Ignore the bully
Sometimes, ignoring the bully is the best solution. It can work well if you aren’t a quick thinker or aren’t sure what to say when they make fun of you.
When you don’t respond to a bully, you take away their sense of gratification. That takes them out of the conversation and leaves them with no control over the situation.
So how do you actually ignore the bully?
- Don’t react at all. Pretend that you never heard their comment. At first, this might be difficult to get right. Most people fail when trying to ignore someone because their body language shows that they are annoyed. But it may get easier with practice.
- Continue the conversation as though the bully never spoke at all. This makes it clear to both the bully and the other people you’re talking to that you don’t accept, and won’t tolerate, their behavior. This is an important step because if you fall silent, it’s not clear whether you disapprove or just don’t know how to reply.
- If you blank out or don’t know how to reply, it’s better to use the previous technique of “agreeing TOO MUCH” with the bully.
To see how well this technique works, imagine this conversation between two friends, Cary and John, plus a bully:
Cary: “Who’s joining me at the beach tomorrow? It’s supposed to be a gorgeous sunny day.”
Bully: “Definitely not John—he’s too pale to be allowed to take his shirt off. He’ll blind you if you don’t have your sunglasses on!”
If you were John, you could respond like this:
“Going to the beach sounds lovely. I’m free after 12 if that works for you?”
Do you see how John’s response makes the bully seem rude? This example also shows that you don’t have to sink to a bully’s level by being rude or mean.
When you ignore the bully, they might try harder to fit into the group. So instead of making insulting jokes, they’re more likely to follow the vibe of the conversation.
If you ignore a bully’s comments for long enough, they may start playing nice to fit back in. In some cases, they might resign from the group altogether. Either way, if you can effectively ignore their comments for a long period of time, they might stop.
4. Ask the bully to clarify what they mean
Sometimes you want a good comeback to make someone shut up when they make fun of you. This can be quite tricky when you blank out or only come up with a reply when it’s all over. (Read more about how to never be nervous around people.)
Here’s a comeback you can use in almost any situation:
Interesting that you’d say that. How do you mean?
This one is good if you want to confront someone about what they said. It takes all the fun out of it for them when they have to explain themselves. And just like the method of “Agreeing too much,” it doesn’t give them the response they expected.
5. Memorize and use comeback phrases and quotes
If you want to be a bit wittier and are prepared to be slightly mean, you could try using some comebacks. Here are a few ideas:
- Remember when I said you’re smart? I lied.
- If I wanted to kill myself, I’d climb your ego and jump to your IQ.
- You should eat some makeup. That way, you’ll at least be pretty on the inside.
- Acting like a dick won’t make yours any bigger.
- It’s amazing how stupid people can be. Thank you for the demonstration.
- You’re about as useful as a raincoat in a desert.
- Your ass must be jealous of the shit coming from your mouth.
- Do you ever think about how your life would be if you grew up in a better family?
- You’ve got all your life left to be a douchebag. Why not take the day off?
- I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings when I called you dumb. I thought you knew.
- You know what? You always make me so happy…when you leave.
- Too bad you can’t use makeup on your personality.
Use these phrases with caution. In certain situations, they might backfire. For example, if you’re dealing with someone who is highly confrontational, a comeback might make them very angry. When you use them, it’s important that you do it in a joking manner—you don’t want to risk starting a fight.
6. Draw attention to their bullying tendencies
If you’re dealing with someone who often makes fun of you or puts you down, you can deal with their comments by acting as though their behavior is just an immature, embarrassing habit rather than something you should take personally.
This spoils the bully’s fun because although you’re acknowledging their behavior, you aren’t letting it get to you. It’s an unexpected response that may leave them confused.
You can do this by smiling, chuckling, or rolling your eyes and saying something like, “Ah, classic [Name],” or “Oh right, there he/she goes again!” The trick is to act as though they are merely a nuisance rather than a threat.
Here’s an example showing this approach in action. Imagine that you’re telling some friends about a second-hand car you bought recently. One member of the group, James, often puts you (and others) down. He knows you earn a low salary and sometimes takes shots at your job and income.
You: I’m finally picking my car up on Thursday. I can’t wait! It’s not brand new, but I got a good deal. It’s hard to get around this area on public transport.
James: Amazing, I’ve never seen someone get so excited about a second-hand car. But I guess you have to get excited about simple things if you earn peanuts.
You: Haha, classic James!
James: What?
You: You know, putting people down? [Laughs] It’s your thing.
James: It’s not! I’m only saying that it’s kind of pathetic to get so excited about a cheap car.
You: See! [Smiles, rolls eyes] Typical James! Anyway… [Changes topic]
This technique puts the bully’s character under the spotlight and diverts attention away from you. Don’t engage with their comments or get drawn into an argument—that’s what they want you to do. Just label their behavior, dismiss it, and move on.
7. Learn how to be more assertive
Research suggests that being more assertive might protect you from harassment. According to a 2020 study into workplace bullying published in the International Journal of Nursing Practice, people low in assertiveness may be more at risk of bullying.[1]
This may be because assertive people stand up for their rights and defend their personal boundaries, which might make it easier for them to shut down teasing and other disrespectful behavior quickly.
If you feel that you’re too submissive, you might want to read about steps you can take to be more assertive.
8. Work out whether you’re dealing with a toxic person
It’s important to know the difference between a real friend who has made a mistake and a toxic friend who doesn’t truly care about your feelings. A real friend is always worth a second shot, but you need to cut toxic friends out of your life.
However, try to remember that nobody’s perfect. For example, most of us make ill-judged comments or zone out of a conversation from time to time. Don’t be too quick to assume that someone is toxic just because they’ve been rude a couple of times. You want to look out for patterns of behavior before jumping to conclusions.
Here are some signs that your friend may be a toxic person:
- They do things without your permission and may disrespect your boundaries. For example, they might borrow your possessions without asking first.
- They try to make you feel guilty or use emotional blackmail to get what they want. For instance, they might say things like, “If you really cared about me, you’d lend me $50 for gas” or “If you were a real friend, you wouldn’t mind babysitting for me,” even if they know that you don’t want to lend them money or take care of their children.
- They are nice one-on-one, but they try to boss you around when you’re in a group. Real friends treat you with respect, regardless of who is around.
- They don’t pay much or any attention to you during conversations; they might use you as a sounding board or therapist.
- They don’t apologize when they hurt you or let you down, even when you let them know how you feel.
- When they tease you, they focus on the things that they know make you insecure. For example, if your friend knows that you are self-conscious about your weight, it would be toxic and unkind of them to make jokes about your size or shape.
9. Ask the other person to change their behavior
Here’s a more diplomatic route you can take if you value a relationship. Keep in mind that this sentence works in any type of relationship where you are both motivated to get along.
It’s your responsibility to tell the bully how you feel if you want them to stop. They are at fault, but since they’re usually not aware of how their behavior affects you, you need to make them aware of it.
Here are some tips that will help you make yourself clear:
- Don’t generalize. Don’t say something like “You always try to dominate me.” Generalizations make other people defensive, and they aren’t particularly helpful because they don’t spell out exactly why you are hurt. Give a specific example instead.
- Tell the person how YOU feel, not what THEY should and shouldn’t do. This is achieved by using I-statements. No one can disprove that you feel a certain way, but they can argue back when you tell them how they should behave.
- Give them the benefit of the doubt and make it clear you don’t want to attack your friend and just want to fix the problem. For example, you could say, “You probably didn’t mean to hurt me.”
Here’s an example:
“Sometimes you say things that I don’t like. One example is when you joked about my new sweater. I feel belittled when you make comments like that. You probably didn’t intend to come across as mean, but I want you to know how that made me feel.”
It takes courage to open up to someone who’s causing you harm, but standing up for yourself will be worth it in the long run.
10. Tell someone that you’re being bullied
Opening up about your experiences can make you feel better, which will give you a mental edge the next time someone tries to put you down. Talk to a friend or relative about what’s going on. They might have similar experiences to share.
You could also try talking to a therapist who can help you come up with good strategies on how to deal with bullies both practically and emotionally.
We recommend BetterHelp for online therapy, since they offer unlimited messaging and a weekly session, and are cheaper than going to a therapist's office.
Their plans start at $64 per week. If you use this link, you get 20% off your first month at BetterHelp + a $50 coupon valid for any SocialSelf course: Click here to learn more about BetterHelp.
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Reasons why some people make fun of others
If you’ve been on the receiving end of bullying, harassment, or malicious teasing, you might have asked yourself what drives people to behave so badly.
It’s hard to know for sure why someone makes fun of others, but psychologists have made some progress in uncovering the root causes of bullying.
Here are some of the reasons why some people humiliate or bully others:
1. Low self-esteem
Some people may try to feel better about themselves by making fun of others.
A meta-analysis published in the journal Aggression and Violent Behaviour found a modest link between bullying behavior and low self-esteem.[2]
2. Genetics
According to an article by Harvey published in the Journal of Business Ethics, biological differences, such as genetics, may help explain why some people are prone to bullying behavior.[3]
In 2019, Veldkamp et al. ran a study with identical and non-identical pairs of school-aged twins. Their goal was to work out if a person’s genes or environment make them more or less likely to be a bully. The researchers found that genetic influences can make children more vulnerable to becoming a bully or a victim.[4]
3. A lack of empathy
A 2015 review published in the journal Aggression and Violent Behaviour states that there is a negative association between the ability to feel empathy and bullying behavior.[5] People who find it hard to imagine what those around them are thinking and feeling are more likely to make fun of others. This may be because they don’t fully understand how their actions affect their victims.
4. A need for control
Some people may bully because they want to control their environment.[3] For example, an employee might bully others in the workplace because they want to control who works on their team, who works particular shifts, and how the work is done. By intimidating and making fun of their coworkers, an employee may be able to have things their way.
5. Desire to increase their status
Some people try to become more popular by bullying others. The results of a 2020 study published in the American Journal of Sociology showed that bullies often try to establish dominance by picking on people in their social circle, including people they would describe as friends.[4] For example, a bully might try to make themselves look smarter or funnier than someone else by repeatedly putting them down.
6. Learned behavior
Bullying can be learned behavior that people pick up from their environment.[3] For example, an employee who sees a coworker go unpunished for making fun of others might be more likely to follow suit than an employee who works in a place with a zero-tolerance bullying policy.
7. Personality disorders
There is a positive association between personality disorders and bullying behavior. Vaughn et al. analyzed the results of a large-scale survey involving 43,093 adults and discovered that histrionic, paranoid, and antisocial personality disorders were increased risk factors for bullying.[8]
8. Adult Bullying Syndrome
Psychologist Chris Piotrowski has coined the term Adult Bully Syndrome (ABS) to describe the behaviors and tendencies of people who often bully others.
In a 2015 paper, Piotrowski explains that people with ABS show a set of distinctive traits; they are controlling, callous, self-centered, manipulative, and Machiavellian.[9] These traits are often seen in people with personality disorders.
Common questions
How can I deal with a coworker who makes fun of me?
There is no universal solution for dealing with a workplace bully. In some cases, ignoring them may work. If the problem persists, you could try spelling out why you feel hurt and ask them to stop. You could also try asking a member of senior management or your team leader for advice.
What should I do if someone makes fun of me online?
In many cases, ignoring is the simplest way to deal with an online bully. Remember, you don’t have to respond to unkind remarks. On social media, consider blocking or muting the person who is making fun of you. If they repeatedly harass you or make you feel unsafe, report them to the platform.
So , there are my few friends who got my weired photos and started trolling it on social media . And i dont like it at all
There’s this kid who makes fun of me for my metal disabilities, skin color and my weight say I’m fatter than him when Im 145 and he weights 190 every time I’m in school and I try to defend my self this 6 grader jumps in my business to defend his “Best friend”..I hate being treated like crap and my school doesn’t know what the word bully even means and then I’m suspended I just want my freedom as a black girl instead of being brought down
Find some good comebacks & use them. Then walk away. No emotions. Bullies bully because they feel powerless in some area of their life. The energy they suck from others is the air that they breath. Find a few one-liner comebacks you’re comfortable with & deliver with no emotion. If you stick with this, bully will get bored with you & find a new victim.
For people with learning differences, high school is probably THE hardest time in your entire life?
Why? Because most teenagers are assholes. Blame it on under-developed frontal lobe (part of brain responsible for sound judgement & logic).
It’s not you, it’s them. Trust me.
Life gets MUCH easier after high school because in real life, bullies are squeezed out like the pimples they are.
But teenagers are weird, so just hang in there & know it gets easier.
Trust me when I say this – almost ALWAYS these bullies at the 10-year reunion, are the ones working at the gas station, Circle K etc.
Because 99.999% of them are idiots.
Keep your chin up & remember, it’s not a “disability” just because the medical establishment labeled it as such.
You’re just different from the majority, and society doesn’t like “different.”
Be happy you’re not just another robot, and hold your head up high!
Blessings,
Ruthie
thanks a lot. i was bullied by kids from a young age cuz they perceived me as slow or not understanding and participating in topics. now i was reminiscing about a teacher who behaved like a 3 yr old kid making fun of my intellect day in and day out. i m just shocked such immaturity on behalf of this person. so he would deliberately stare at me mock at me . i retaliated through facebook but cant forget my helpless situation makes me manic depressive. so that was a lot
My one friend (we’ll call her Rosanne) I’ve known since we were kids and we are adults. I was wearing ripped leggings (that’s the design, I didn’t make them) and out of the blue Rosanne said “I don’t like those pants” in a serious tone. This didn’t bother me or maybe it did I just didn’t react emotionally right away. Then her sister in law chimed in saying “Yeah, they confuse me”. THEN I was bothered because Rosanne’s sister in law is a conversational narcissist and is fake. How could I have responded to that without being rude? How could I have turned it on her sister in law so she could see she was rude? Or both? Rosanne’s sister in law is a compulsive liar, conversational narcissist and tries to get attention all of the time or she will somehow try and get it turned to herself with an outside source.
It really hurt when those you see as friends make fun of you or degrade you. I believe it’s part of life…. Let it flow over your ears like water.
So I have 2 toxic friends. One always thinks she is so funny, and all the girls laugh. She legit laughed at lettuce! Its not funny, but that’s how much she manipulates the group. And then she acts nice when its just me and her, but with others, she is so mean!
Then my other friend is so mean! He doesnt care about my feelings, amd not about me. He says we are friends, but doesnt act like it. He said i was annoying, bland, and only sometimes cool. And he knows that hurts me, because I told him I have low self esteem, and I used to suffer from deppression, and I told him I was fixing myself.
I am thinking about moving schools, and I really hope that three is not a bully, but it is best to be prepared. This website really helped me. Thank you.
I have a communication issue like this with my younger sibling. Granted that as children, I was probably a bully sometimes and we didn’t get along in general. In adulthood, it’s become worse, talking to her creates a defensive barrier where she always says that she doesnt remember what she said or I’ve said and will bully me with insults and go in circles to get her way or make things an arguement about her feelings rather than answering a yes/no question.
I don’t know if this bullying scenario applies. I’ve used this bully remedy on friendships/acquintances… but if someone is closer and more menancing in life, as in they live with you or they won’t back down from an arguement…. like what can you even do?
When we are innocent and people do such crazy behavior, one way is to pass it to God, to guide these toxic persons.
You haven’t done any bad thing, so try to relax and know that they are the bad guys, they need to see a doctor.
Please call cops the next time. Or talk to the manager about security that doesn’t defend you.
Tonight I have been out to a public place where a lot of people were. A man whose wife or partner teamed up to come and bullied me and harrassed me and humiliated me by saying that I owe them money. Its a dispute matter that I dispute this firm because they are not worth a cent because I never received any of the products I asked for on time, they bullied me in their office when i came in to order my things. Two women including this one whom I saw tonight at the same where I went .. they teamed up to bully me and they are the most horrible women I have ever come across with. This man yelled out to everyone in the room where I was to humiliate me in public. I called for security and they came and did nothing to this couple because they told them that I owe these two money. I was horrified and I almost lost my cool. This man came and sat right next to me and said my name. I said do I know you ? He said something about his woman that I owe her money. I said I dont owe anyone any money. He persisted that I do and I said to him … Then go away and leave me alone .. he kept on talking to me and I was feeling his motive was to come to harrass me and I called the security. He stood up with the security and yelled out that I owe him or her money .. and the security did nothing but listen to this man and woman’s crap and rubbish. I was annoyed but I knew hes a nasty man with no brains but a mouth like a coward .. I came home feeling very hurt and confused and I thought the security did nothing. This is in Christchurch. Bullying, Harrassing, Hate from this woman Jacki Dunn who works for Microfilm and her short manfriedn and they were the horrible couple teaming up nasty against me .. so I am wondering what i can do next when i see them or her or him ?
saman
When we are innocent and people do such crazy behavior, one way is to pass it to God, to guide these toxic persons.
You haven’t done any bad thing, so try to relax and know that they are the bad guys, they need to see a doctor.
Please call cops the next time. Or talk to the manager about security that doesn’t defend you.
How can I come up with a comeback phrase with the MOOOOOOOOOOVVE cow thing. I’m very skinny but they still call me a cow
Just say, MOOOOOOOVVE your rudeness (or rude self) in that direction
A freind in case I thought is my Life Partner
First 15 years it never came to mind, this stage will come, afterwards I realised I realised he was Nice to me till he needed me .
Problem is if i confront he may say that was never the case, even though i can give specific example, as suggested earlier
Now i am used to this formal relation
I wish to revive old friendship ( If it existed)
U asked above to leave a incident of bullying
I have my personal experience today that made me end up here today
I was at school…we had met after about a month and my friends were casually asking which stream I was going to pick up and then a friend (I don’t if she is fake or real) said that “aren’t you Taking commerce without bio?!”and then hahaha all over spread.Again when I asked a good friend as if we had to bring up the marksheet of 10th STD(I didn’t knew that I had to bring it up for registration and I didn’t bring it) and then she said “go,go,you won’t get admission here,go,go” as if she was saying that to animal,I felt so much guilty about myself then.
This is the most casual incident,many big pranks and jokes often happen with me,but today it was unbearable so I ended up on this site
I really thank u so much from my inner heart (I can’t even explain my feelings right now,it comforts that way)….u are amazing guide for the bullied ones
Just love you
With lots of love
Hey, great article. In many ways, I relate to this. I’m actually a student. And there’s this guy that comes to my friends and tries to tell jokes about me. This guy has always tried to ruin things for me and I really want him to stop coming to my friends and making fun of me. He has a friend that comes to me and my friends and once he told my friends that I had put a flashlight up in my a**. Even tho it’s not true. One of my friends laughed at it but I don’t think he understands that it’s not funny for me. I would say he’s a bully because each day he tries to make my life worse.
When i was a student there were both kind and toxic guys.
My trick was to join nice people and avoid stupid sick persons.
They have big problems in their personal life, so they reflect that in their personality specially at school.
1-Be arround nice persons and cut bad relationships
2- Ask friends to support you (Or find true supportive friends)
3- and know that as you get older, toxic people will be really less than what you experience at school (this is my experience)
I used to be joked at school. Even bullied by some family members. But when I got older, (like after 25), they started to pay more attention.
Toxic people never finish, but i believe it is us that change and can learn to protect ourselves more and more
I got in a fight with my friend because she said I asked too many questions and I was annoying her all the time when I did that.
She kept saying I was asking what color Jeans she wanted us to wear for the picture and I was confusing the whole wedding party because I asked this. Then she told me it’s bad to get so specific with details.
I asked her afterwards, since I thought she was giving me the cold shoulder, if she was dropping me as a friend. She got really mad at that and now she’s not talking to me.
It has been about 2 weeks and I keep reaching out to her but there is no response. I told her that I apologize for the way I yelled at her but that I wont apologize for asking questions.
I value our friendship but now she isnt even talking to me.
I used to be a very social butterfly but now when I am in groups I stay quiet and dont say that much.
She has also been dismissing me in front of her friends which I didnt appreciate.
I work from home
Hi Shanthi. We all humans are different. I used to have a friend that I was whit each day. But the problem was my friend started to get violent and wasn’t the friend I used to have. Then he found a new friend and then they just told me that they didn’t wanna be whit me anymore. And 1 whole year I was jealous and sad that they just left me. The worst part was when I saw them having fun and etc. But after 1,5 years I saw that they were just idiots and I’m really happy that they stopped being whit me because maybe I would have become toxic as them. Anyways my point is that we beginners don’t know what a bad friend is. And its really hard to find good friends. I recommend you thinking if shes really worth it. If she’s not wanting to use her time replying to you. Then what’s the point of wasting your energy on her when you can go and find someone else to be whit.
this person im not friends with makes fun of my name randomly when they see me and talks to their friends about it. they pronounce it weirdly on purpose, heck i didnt choose my name. i try to say something back but i still feel like im on the lower end in that situation. ifeel really bad and insecure and depressed after it but i hope i can make this article help me.
Just say ‘Yeah. I get it. My name is funny. Haha.”
That always works for me when people comment about how short I am.
I say ‘Yeah. I get it. I’m short. Haha.”
I have a friend and colleague who I work with. She will be pulling faces and making actions in front of her friends and insighting then to laugh at me and join her in making me the butt of the joke. She normally does this when I’m getting to know people in the group and people start liking me.
It’s frustrating because I really like her and enjoy working with her. But her behaviour is disgusting.
Just this past Friday I went on sight to see a client with her. She did not stick to agreed meeting place and ended up phoning me every x3minutes like I was an idiot. I told her to go ahead and to give me the address.
Eventually I got there and I was calm. She felt stupid. I could see that by her behavior. After the meeting I spoke to her about the client and she cut me off. I thought wow! What’s happening here Miss Rudie
Lee
I have a coworker that acted nice until one day. I asked her if she was available for a weekend thing for girls, because she was acting she was always bored blah blah blah. I guess she took that as me crossing some boundary. She began to be nasty, but one day at a time. Not all the time. Then another coworker invited us out. I was having a drink with champagne, and I’m not a drinker and my eyes got watery. She began to point at me a laugh, saying her cousins would laugh so hard at me. For what, not being a drinker!? I said a few times, “Is am not a drinker.” In a low voice and this disarmed her. I continued to eat and acted as if nothing had happened. Absolutely the best defense!
Hi
One of my colleagues always tries to pass snide remarks at me. She is nice sometimes but then she will slip very hurtful things somehow in the conversation. I also have noticed that she will make my friends, her friends and somehow after that my friend would start to be mean to me as well.
I have started to become terrified of any social event at my workplace. It had been going on for more than 2 years and at this point I am so nervous that I either opt out of going to any social things or I am super anxious at the event which makes it not only super uncomfortable but also my tendency to say something stupid increases.
Please help!
Thank you
P
I told my husband to not degrade embarass or humilate me its hard already having to be a Mum for years but he hates it when I stand out at something or get a little bit of validation elsewhere. Anytime I win something or stand out at anything. Distrespectful never apoligizes. He wants to do only the best for other people but never for me his wife the kids ?? He sleeps in the spareroom as I asked him to cause I’m ignoring him but he doesnt seem to get the message. And keeps on breaking me down whenever he can. Especially in front my children…hurts me I live a life if isolation in a new country and decided to join the gym cause I now have deep depression grief and miss interaction. So started winning little prizI won little prizes at the gym for various functional training also for bringing a positive vibe at the gym…but the only response I got from my husband was I should let others win so they can feel better about themselves too…
Please help
Thank
Maddy
He does not sound like a good man. You deserve to be treated with love and respect.
I’d suggest marriage counseling, and if he is unwilling to change, you may need to prepare to leave him.
And congrats on your prizes, you are worth every ounce of attention you get!
Give him a really good response that shuts him up. For example
Him: You should let other people win so they can feel better about themselves
You: Mm true. Its not like you have a chance against me anyway
Hi, I have Friend whom I confided her in my problems. I consider her a very close Friend. But I later found out she actually discuss my problem with her ‘gay’ friends and she tells me that her ‘friends’ thinks I’m weird and stupid after gossiping about my problems. I was upset at first but I thought she is my Friend and she do not have bad intention so I continued to confide her in my other problems hoping to get some advice. And again she says the person who criticises me thinks I’m stupid for putting myself in situations. She always says someone else says I’m stupid or this person thinks I’m stupid.
Can some one please tell me what should I do? Thanks.
Thank you. This was really helpful, when you’re not that of a social person and encounters such situations and it all becomes awkward (Me!)
Kind of sad. I’m the butt of my boyfriends jokes. He plays poker for a livingI go with him I sit behind him which automatically gives him the hand up. He has to carry control. In everything conversations… . (I get all dolled up)In his eyes, but in mine I’m just getting ready for the night. Anyhow, he depicts me as a dumb Blonde, when in actuality I am a successful business owner a few times over. I’m at my wits end with how disrespectful he is to me in front of others. One on one he’s nice so I hold onto him being nice again. Nice just doesn’t cut it though. I never thought I’d end up here. It’s quite odd to be in this predicament.
He does not sound like a good person. Have you talked to him about it? Because his behavior is unacceptable and you deserve love and respect. Your partner is supposed to lift you up and make you feel good. He’s just pushing you down.
Being nice 1-on-1 just means he is fake. Good people are nice almost all the time, regardless of the situation or company.
I work in a frozen retail supermarket! This customer came in and made a really creepy joke, every time he comes in, he thinks he’s really funny and then he tries to goad me and I just ignore him! If I could come back with a dry wit or a remark that would stop him, then I would try that! But what do I say?
I honestly need help, like a lot. I have this friend were she is always so nice and stuff, gets me anything I want, y’know? But… Once we’re with other people, she starts trying to make the others laugh by making fun of me. My comebacks are literal trash which always makes her.. how do I say this? Makes her win?? I guess. I honestly don’t know what to do anymore, I cherish her friendship a lot and she’s a wonderful person. I know she doesn’t mean it, but she just forces it. When I told her how I felt, she said “I don’t really care.” And I was like… Wow. After school I told my (other) friend about what happened, she told me that the other girls always make fun of her behind her back, which made me feel bad. I hate feeling bad, especially for people who disrespect me. So my question, how do I tell her I don’t want to be friends with her in a way where she will regret ever making fun of me?
Ignore her. No contact. No warning. Just leave her to her own consequences. Only try again if you value her friendship but with tough love.
There is this guy, he’s sort of like my friend, sometimes he’s really sweet and sometimes he puts me on the spot and it feels like he is daring me to do something or to say something, and I kinda like him when he’s sweet but sometimes he asks confusing questions from me, it’s very weird because I don’t really understand if he likes me or not it feels like he is always testing me at something…can you help me out with this, thanks.
Parent, co-worker, boyfriend dominate personalities; She/Parent for 32 years said my features not good, No, one won’t be around me. Worst, Co-worker slapped my hand year ago. Didn’t put’ hand on her before nor, after. Boyfriend said I’m not good person’. I lended thousand, six -hundred dollars he didnt pay back. Something wrong with picture.
I have one friend, who always makes me feel stupid whenever I do something “wrong”. I accidentally called a learner’s permit a driver’s permit, for example. She was like, “Greyyy, honey, you know there’s no such thing as a DRIVER’S PERMIT, right?” and proceeded to laugh. I don’t ever know if she is trying to help me, or trying to make me feel stupid.
I also said once that it was sweet when somewhat famous people took time to look at fanart or fan letters from people, such as Thomas Sanders, or The Dragon Prince writers. She proceeded to yell at me about how most famous people are busy, and how she HATES when people make out the ones who reply to everyone to be better than the rest. Did I say that? NO. Was I too scared to tell her what I meant? Yes.
If anyone can help me decide how to deal with her, that would be great. And please don’t say “block her out”, because I’m running out of friends, and we have been a duo since 2nd grade.
Hi. I think, like the article hints at, bullies are looking for a reaction, which she must be getting for her to keep doing this to you. If you can change your reaction so she no longer gets her fix, you probably could solve the problem and still stay friends. Try some of the methods listed above. Either that or you confront her, as in Step 5 of the article. I’m sorry your friend is treating you like this and I hope you get it sorted out amicably. Cheers, Sadi
I have these 2 people in my class and they make fun of my retainers. Wearing retainers is a very common thing and i know a few of their friends who wear retainers too. So i have no clue why they think it’s alright to make me feel self conscious of doing the basic thing called speaking, or expressing my joy through smiling. Its very faustrating
I sit in band class and just mind my own buisness and sometimes talk to my best friend and one time I realized that this kid in my class was staring at me and i’ve never talked to him before.ANd he would wave at me and say hi and bye to me and I dont know what is going on. Also he has a friend who sits next to him that whispers to him and the friend is someone who I like and I think that they are making fun of me or something but i’m not sure. One person told me that he likes me and the other said that he makes fun of me. I havent been the same in that class becasue im always self concious. I really dont know if there making fun of me or something else.
I’m a student staying in a room with my three roommates. They always make fun of how I’m always quiet and how I don’t talk.They even said I’m a dull person. Sometimes it makes me feel so bad that my heart aches
My coursemates too and people I call friends make fun of me. They see me as someone who can’t stand up for herself in any case because I don’t talk. They say I’m wierd
Life short. Why not speak mind?
I have this women at work who always stands in front of me when we are in a group conversation when I move she will just find another way to stand in front of me. Also comments on how I dress as she is a personal stylist but always negative to how I dress it’s really hurtful what should I do ?.
I’m a freshman in high school. I’m fine with almost every class and am even fine with sitting alone at lunch since my REAL friends are not in my line. However, there is another student who i label as a “friend” that always makes fun of the clothes my mother paid for and the sports im blessed to be able to participate in. It is ALWAYS in a group of people and other friends and sometimes he even humiliates me in front of people i dont even know. Any time i try to make a comeback or to ignore him he always laughs and gets others to join in and makes me even more frustrated and ashamed. There is also one more friend who constantly tries to smack, slap, punch, kick, hit me in front of people regardless of where we are. He takes me things and throws them on the floor, and because im a relatively chill and down to earth guy who tried to ignore things like this, he repeats this every single day and it’s beyond angering. Between the two of these people, i dread 2 of my classes and wish i could skip them altogether. I would genuinely appreciate any advice to help with this specific situation, as im sure im not the only person going through these things.
Hello that’s very rough. Try standing up for yourself and say like don’t call me names or don’t do that to me in a deep voice and they will never mess with you again!
No, he should use the #9 comeback phrase