“My colleagues try to dominate me and make fun of me. And if I try to answer them, they just laugh at me. I don’t know how to reply.”
“I have 3 roommates, and I’m the butt of every damn joke. They’re all witty, and I can’t seem to think of anything quickly. When they make fun of me, I can’t think of a rebuttal. They make inside jokes and jokes that are only directed at me. They come up with new things every day.”
If you can relate to these quotes from our readers, this guide is for you. There’s a difference between two friends joking and someone making fun of you or trying to dominate you. If you’re looking to get more respect in general, you should read our guide with several tricks that make people respect you.
In this article, you’ll learn how to deal with someone who makes fun of you.
Sections
- What to do when someone makes fun of you
- Reasons why some people make fun of others
- Common questions
What to do when someone makes fun of you
When someone puts you down or makes you the butt of a joke, it’s normal to freeze up. Your mind might go blank, or it may seem like everything you say or do in response to the bully only makes the situation worse. Fortunately, there are several simple strategies you can use to shut down teasing and harassment.
Here’s how to deal with someone who makes fun of you:
1. Don’t give a predictable reply
If you respond to the bully in a predictable way, you are implying that they have said something funny, even though they haven’t. When you rise to the bully’s bait, they will feel encouraged to keep on having fun at your expense.
Here’s an example showing why a predictable reply can validate a bully’s comments and make the situation worse:
Bully: “So what movies do you like, you know, except for dirty movies? Hahahaha.”
You: “Haha, yeah right!” or “Shut up!” or “Haha, no I don’t!”
Bully: “I knew it! HAHAHA.”
Everyone around you will probably laugh along too, not necessarily because they don’t care about your feelings, but because they just don’t realize how bad you feel. And since the “funny one” got the response they were looking for, they’re more likely to do it again in the future.
2. Agree too much with the joke
This technique is effective and easy to use for beginners just starting to find their voice against the “funny guy/girl.”
Here’s the trick: While keeping a poker face, agree too much with their stupid question or statement. Don’t laugh or smile. Just give them your answer with a straight face.
The reason this works is that your response will be the opposite of what they expect. They will either be at a loss for words or they will look like a complete idiot if they try to push the joke further.
When you respond this way, everyone will see your disapproval and will realize that what the “funny one” said wasn’t funny at all. The situation will end awkwardly for the bully because they will be laughing alone.
Here’s an example of how you get the upper hand on the funny guy/girl by agreeing too much:
Funny one: “So what movies do you like? You know, except for dirty movies? Hahahaha.”
You: “Oh, you didn’t know? I only watch dirty movies.”
Funny one: “… well then.”
When the bully has backed off, change the subject and continue talking as if nothing happened.
If possible, keep ignoring the funny one and any further attempts they make at the same kind of joke. Being non-reactive while you “agree” makes your disapproval crystal clear to everyone. You’re basically treating them like your irritating little brother. This shows that you do not tolerate bad behavior like that and gives you the upper hand.
3. Ignore the bully
Sometimes, ignoring the bully is the best solution. It can work well if you aren’t a quick thinker or aren’t sure what to say when they make fun of you.
When you don’t respond to a bully, you take away their sense of gratification. That takes them out of the conversation and leaves them with no control over the situation.
So how do you actually ignore the bully?
- Don’t react at all. Pretend that you never heard their comment. At first, this might be difficult to get right. Most people fail when trying to ignore someone because their body language shows that they are annoyed. But it may get easier with practice.
- Continue the conversation as though the bully never spoke at all. This makes it clear to both the bully and the other people you’re talking to that you don’t accept, and won’t tolerate, their behavior. This is an important step because if you fall silent, it’s not clear whether you disapprove or just don’t know how to reply.
- If you blank out or don’t know how to reply, it’s better to use the previous technique of “agreeing TOO MUCH” with the bully.
To see how well this technique works, imagine this conversation between two friends, Cary and John, plus a bully:
Cary: “Who’s joining me at the beach tomorrow? It’s supposed to be a gorgeous sunny day.”
Bully: “Definitely not John—he’s too pale to be allowed to take his shirt off. He’ll blind you if you don’t have your sunglasses on!”
If you were John, you could respond like this:
“Going to the beach sounds lovely. I’m free after 12 if that works for you?”
Do you see how John’s response makes the bully seem rude? This example also shows that you don’t have to sink to a bully’s level by being rude or mean.
When you ignore the bully, they might try harder to fit into the group. So instead of making insulting jokes, they’re more likely to follow the vibe of the conversation.
If you ignore a bully’s comments for long enough, they may start playing nice to fit back in. In some cases, they might resign from the group altogether. Either way, if you can effectively ignore their comments for a long period of time, they might stop.
4. Ask the bully to clarify what they mean
Sometimes you want a good comeback to make someone shut up when they make fun of you. This can be quite tricky when you blank out or only come up with a reply when it’s all over. (Read more about how to never be nervous around people.)
Here’s a comeback you can use in almost any situation:
Interesting that you’d say that. How do you mean?
This one is good if you want to confront someone about what they said. It takes all the fun out of it for them when they have to explain themselves. And just like the method of “Agreeing too much,” it doesn’t give them the response they expected.
5. Memorize and use comeback phrases and quotes
If you want to be a bit wittier and are prepared to be slightly mean, you could try using some comebacks. Here are a few ideas:
- Remember when I said you’re smart? I lied.
- If I wanted to kill myself, I’d climb your ego and jump to your IQ.
- You should eat some makeup. That way, you’ll at least be pretty on the inside.
- Acting like a dick won’t make yours any bigger.
- It’s amazing how stupid people can be. Thank you for the demonstration.
- You’re about as useful as a raincoat in a desert.
- Your ass must be jealous of the shit coming from your mouth.
- Do you ever think about how your life would be if you grew up in a better family?
- You’ve got all your life left to be a douchebag. Why not take the day off?
- I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings when I called you dumb. I thought you knew.
- You know what? You always make me so happy…when you leave.
- Too bad you can’t use makeup on your personality.
Use these phrases with caution. In certain situations, they might backfire. For example, if you’re dealing with someone who is highly confrontational, a comeback might make them very angry. When you use them, it’s important that you do it in a joking manner—you don’t want to risk starting a fight.
6. Draw attention to their bullying tendencies
If you’re dealing with someone who often makes fun of you or puts you down, you can deal with their comments by acting as though their behavior is just an immature, embarrassing habit rather than something you should take personally.
This spoils the bully’s fun because although you’re acknowledging their behavior, you aren’t letting it get to you. It’s an unexpected response that may leave them confused.
You can do this by smiling, chuckling, or rolling your eyes and saying something like, “Ah, classic [Name],” or “Oh right, there he/she goes again!” The trick is to act as though they are merely a nuisance rather than a threat.
Here’s an example showing this approach in action. Imagine that you’re telling some friends about a second-hand car you bought recently. One member of the group, James, often puts you (and others) down. He knows you earn a low salary and sometimes takes shots at your job and income.
You: I’m finally picking my car up on Thursday. I can’t wait! It’s not brand new, but I got a good deal. It’s hard to get around this area on public transport.
James: Amazing, I’ve never seen someone get so excited about a second-hand car. But I guess you have to get excited about simple things if you earn peanuts.
You: Haha, classic James!
James: What?
You: You know, putting people down? [Laughs] It’s your thing.
James: It’s not! I’m only saying that it’s kind of pathetic to get so excited about a cheap car.
You: See! [Smiles, rolls eyes] Typical James! Anyway… [Changes topic]
This technique puts the bully’s character under the spotlight and diverts attention away from you. Don’t engage with their comments or get drawn into an argument—that’s what they want you to do. Just label their behavior, dismiss it, and move on.
7. Learn how to be more assertive
Research suggests that being more assertive might protect you from harassment. According to a 2020 study into workplace bullying published in the International Journal of Nursing Practice, people low in assertiveness may be more at risk of bullying.[1]
This may be because assertive people stand up for their rights and defend their personal boundaries, which might make it easier for them to shut down teasing and other disrespectful behavior quickly.
If you feel that you’re too submissive, you might want to read about steps you can take to be more assertive.
8. Work out whether you’re dealing with a toxic person
It’s important to know the difference between a real friend who has made a mistake and a toxic friend who doesn’t truly care about your feelings. A real friend is always worth a second shot, but you need to cut toxic friends out of your life.
However, try to remember that nobody’s perfect. For example, most of us make ill-judged comments or zone out of a conversation from time to time. Don’t be too quick to assume that someone is toxic just because they’ve been rude a couple of times. You want to look out for patterns of behavior before jumping to conclusions.
Here are some signs that your friend may be a toxic person:
- They do things without your permission and may disrespect your boundaries. For example, they might borrow your possessions without asking first.
- They try to make you feel guilty or use emotional blackmail to get what they want. For instance, they might say things like, “If you really cared about me, you’d lend me $50 for gas” or “If you were a real friend, you wouldn’t mind babysitting for me,” even if they know that you don’t want to lend them money or take care of their children.
- They are nice one-on-one, but they try to boss you around when you’re in a group. Real friends treat you with respect, regardless of who is around.
- They don’t pay much or any attention to you during conversations; they might use you as a sounding board or therapist.
- They don’t apologize when they hurt you or let you down, even when you let them know how you feel.
- When they tease you, they focus on the things that they know make you insecure. For example, if your friend knows that you are self-conscious about your weight, it would be toxic and unkind of them to make jokes about your size or shape.
9. Ask the other person to change their behavior
Here’s a more diplomatic route you can take if you value a relationship. Keep in mind that this sentence works in any type of relationship where you are both motivated to get along.
It’s your responsibility to tell the bully how you feel if you want them to stop. They are at fault, but since they’re usually not aware of how their behavior affects you, you need to make them aware of it.
Here are some tips that will help you make yourself clear:
- Don’t generalize. Don’t say something like “You always try to dominate me.” Generalizations make other people defensive, and they aren’t particularly helpful because they don’t spell out exactly why you are hurt. Give a specific example instead.
- Tell the person how YOU feel, not what THEY should and shouldn’t do. This is achieved by using I-statements. No one can disprove that you feel a certain way, but they can argue back when you tell them how they should behave.
- Give them the benefit of the doubt and make it clear you don’t want to attack your friend and just want to fix the problem. For example, you could say, “You probably didn’t mean to hurt me.”
Here’s an example:
“Sometimes you say things that I don’t like. One example is when you joked about my new sweater. I feel belittled when you make comments like that. You probably didn’t intend to come across as mean, but I want you to know how that made me feel.”
It takes courage to open up to someone who’s causing you harm, but standing up for yourself will be worth it in the long run.
10. Tell someone that you’re being bullied
Opening up about your experiences can make you feel better, which will give you a mental edge the next time someone tries to put you down. Talk to a friend or relative about what’s going on. They might have similar experiences to share.
You could also try talking to a therapist who can help you come up with good strategies on how to deal with bullies both practically and emotionally.
We recommend BetterHelp for online therapy, since they offer unlimited messaging and a weekly session, and are cheaper than going to a therapist's office.
Their plans start at $64 per week. If you use this link, you get 20% off your first month at BetterHelp + a $50 coupon valid for any SocialSelf course: Click here to learn more about BetterHelp.
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Reasons why some people make fun of others
If you’ve been on the receiving end of bullying, harassment, or malicious teasing, you might have asked yourself what drives people to behave so badly.
It’s hard to know for sure why someone makes fun of others, but psychologists have made some progress in uncovering the root causes of bullying.
Here are some of the reasons why some people humiliate or bully others:
1. Low self-esteem
Some people may try to feel better about themselves by making fun of others.
A meta-analysis published in the journal Aggression and Violent Behaviour found a modest link between bullying behavior and low self-esteem.[2]
2. Genetics
According to an article by Harvey published in the Journal of Business Ethics, biological differences, such as genetics, may help explain why some people are prone to bullying behavior.[3]
In 2019, Veldkamp et al. ran a study with identical and non-identical pairs of school-aged twins. Their goal was to work out if a person’s genes or environment make them more or less likely to be a bully. The researchers found that genetic influences can make children more vulnerable to becoming a bully or a victim.[4]
3. A lack of empathy
A 2015 review published in the journal Aggression and Violent Behaviour states that there is a negative association between the ability to feel empathy and bullying behavior.[5] People who find it hard to imagine what those around them are thinking and feeling are more likely to make fun of others. This may be because they don’t fully understand how their actions affect their victims.
4. A need for control
Some people may bully because they want to control their environment.[3] For example, an employee might bully others in the workplace because they want to control who works on their team, who works particular shifts, and how the work is done. By intimidating and making fun of their coworkers, an employee may be able to have things their way.
5. Desire to increase their status
Some people try to become more popular by bullying others. The results of a 2020 study published in the American Journal of Sociology showed that bullies often try to establish dominance by picking on people in their social circle, including people they would describe as friends.[4] For example, a bully might try to make themselves look smarter or funnier than someone else by repeatedly putting them down.
6. Learned behavior
Bullying can be learned behavior that people pick up from their environment.[3] For example, an employee who sees a coworker go unpunished for making fun of others might be more likely to follow suit than an employee who works in a place with a zero-tolerance bullying policy.
7. Personality disorders
There is a positive association between personality disorders and bullying behavior. Vaughn et al. analyzed the results of a large-scale survey involving 43,093 adults and discovered that histrionic, paranoid, and antisocial personality disorders were increased risk factors for bullying.[8]
8. Adult Bullying Syndrome
Psychologist Chris Piotrowski has coined the term Adult Bully Syndrome (ABS) to describe the behaviors and tendencies of people who often bully others.
In a 2015 paper, Piotrowski explains that people with ABS show a set of distinctive traits; they are controlling, callous, self-centered, manipulative, and Machiavellian.[9] These traits are often seen in people with personality disorders.
Common questions
How can I deal with a coworker who makes fun of me?
There is no universal solution for dealing with a workplace bully. In some cases, ignoring them may work. If the problem persists, you could try spelling out why you feel hurt and ask them to stop. You could also try asking a member of senior management or your team leader for advice.
What should I do if someone makes fun of me online?
In many cases, ignoring is the simplest way to deal with an online bully. Remember, you don’t have to respond to unkind remarks. On social media, consider blocking or muting the person who is making fun of you. If they repeatedly harass you or make you feel unsafe, report them to the platform.
thank yall so much this gives me the inspiration I need to get those’s guys off my back. I really hope this works!
There’s this one girl, i give her name A, this girl A said that I’m a bit skinny and pretty, she always praised me a lot, then there’s one more girl named B, whenever girl A said something to praised me girl B will always trying to deny?? ( I don’t know if this is the correct word)
For example:
A: you look a bit skinny these days, are you dieting
B: she’s not actually skinny tho, I’ve seen her with skinny clothes and her fat is just…
I’m actually an underweight at that time, it’s just my body that doesn’t really look like my weight
(Sorry for bad grammar:’)
These are good tips. However, I have tried the “ignore” option before and the person just piped up louder. What then? I probably did it wrong, though because my facial expressions are always so transparent.
You are a great sir,
I really inspired by your golden word’s ☺️
Thanks for much ❤️
This guy who I teased and he teased me back went a little too far this one time. He said I had a mustache and it hurt my feelings. I kinda bullied him back because I didn’t know what to do but I almost cried.
What do you do when my husband in gatherings, makes me the brunt of jokes/put downs which hurts my feelings. Years of telling him how this affects my feelings is to no avail, because she he just does not get it. 67 years married, the last 22 dealing with his stroke challenges. Why does a person who,does this and thinks it is funny at another’s expense not respect to stop this type of behavior.
Simply divorce if you’re not happy
Every human has resistance and every single joke made on you breaks it little by little. The problem is you try to overcome these lame things by forgiving them, ignoring them, trying every single bit that’d not let extreme arguments between you and them esp. when you’re a part of an environment that you cannot escape.
Don’t think that, handling such things makes you stronger but, in fact, you’re dropping at their level every time. Sometimes when they target other people you’re actually fooled into forgetting everything that happened to you. Unfortunately, once again you’re a victim! The worst part, you lose a lot of energy in the whole process.
The only solution I see is, to let them know how you feel(do not care, if you do this in front of the whole group). If a person doesn’t understand you, he certainly lacks character. If he continues to do so, just stop talking to him.
For sure, you’ll regain your energy and be in a good mental state.
Hope it helps!
I wish I knew a long time ago when people make fun of me
What usually happens to me is I hear my *friend* saying things to another person. And when I walk up and ask her about it, she always says, “Omg no! This was something that happened the other day!”(or something like that). I hope you didn’t think we were talking about you?! I would never!”
And, Like u said, they were so sweet and fun to be around ~when it’s just the 2 of u. We shared things in our lives and some of the bad times. I told her about insecurities and things that happened and how awful and humiliating it made me feel. She was so sympathetic and couldn’t understand hire ppl can be like that.
But then a couple days or so later, we’re with a big group of our buddies and she says stuff jokingly in a casual way. She knew I couldn’t call her out on it bc it – it would be even more humiliating.
She did so many other things and it took a long time for me to see that’s who she really was. She was manipulative and was probably planning on using me, and doing whatever all that she could (by playing on my weaknesses) to watch me destroy myself and (my family in the process)until everything that mattered in my life was lost.
Thankfully God opened my eyes & I had to stop giving in & forgiving her. I wanted to help her but I couldn’t destroy myself in the process.
Looking back I wonder if that was behavior of a sociopath? I honestly believe she never once felt any type of regret or sorrow for me. I don’t think she ever cared or loved us either.
I forgive her bc I believe she’s like this bc of the trauma from being neglected as an infant and continually got worse throughout her life. I hate that we’re not in each other’s lives. I still hurt for her and myself—- bc she’s my sister and I’ll never stop loving her!!!
Marvin,
I wonder if you’re able to update us on how you have been managing your work dynamic? Did your co-worker tone it down for you, did you feel a need to exit the situation/leave your job…?
Was going to try to add a suggestion for you but realized it’s been quite a while since you posted.
I am married woman with 2.5 year baby girl. From 4years of our marriage I am having same problem that my hubby don’t listen me at all,, even my worst guilt I shared with him many times he don’t even know about those. He just physically present and mentally absent in home.
With me only he is like this, but with others he is interactive. We hardly get time to speak but whatever I talk he hardly listen and talk like he is talking to argue.
Each time I share my feelings he just shout at me and bring unnecessary things. He never oppologise and and never tried to solve problem. Whatever happens if I try to talk and solve he just shout and make things worst.
Even many times I tried to convince him to talk and solve our problem but he just always shout.
Nowadays I feel scared to talk to him only. Situation went like that whatever I talk normally he is arguing unnecessary.
Can any one suggest how to make him talk calmly and talk about our problems and solve.
He is not at all interested in talking about problems I am having and make me feel happy.
Dear Jema, I have been where you are now and know how incredibly confusing and painful this is.
I recommend you read The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans.
It saved my life and helped me to understand what was going on in the relationship.
Protect your child from growing up in such an unhealthy environment if you can. She is lucky to have you! Don’t waste all your time and energy trying to fix something that is not in your power to fix.
All my best wishes! Lucy
How can I respond when they disrespect my loved ones?
I think you should just stay calm by yourself and explain your partner not to think about it like you do, with reasons.
You know… the ‘Do you ever wonder how much better you would be if you were raised in a better family?’ comeback might help. But if they go too far, compare your family member to them and degrade them at the same time. For eg-
(When in a group of 3 or more)
Bully: You know Sam’s brother is so dumb. He did not understand a single word I said.
Sam: Idiot! That’s called ignoring someone who is a dick head not being dumb.
(Mic drop, his ego drop, his prestige drop, BOOM)
maybe stand up to the person and tell them what they might be doing to your loved one and what it could cause them to think and feel
I’m in secondary school, and I am cosplay I my free time cuz it’s fun, and I have an Instagram account for it. A boy in my class brought it up and started laughing about it, making fun of the account name and the stuff I post in there. He then showed it to a few of his friends and they laughed about it. He continued to talk about it like I wasn’t there and couldn’t hear every word of what he was saying. I changed the name of it and blocked him but I’m scared hes going to bring it up again when we next have a class near each other, and I think he has screenshots of it as well. It’s given a blow to my confidence really. I don’t really know how to respond. Whenever I try to come up with comebacks on the spot I fumble on my words way to easily, and if I try to ignore people making fun of me they keep going because my facial expression is the same most of the time, (it’s a school full of kids I can’t relate with and have many different interest and their personalities often clash with mine, and my resting face looks like I’m grumpy or sad) or maybe I’m overthinking it and they’ll grow out of it since we r only in yr 8 (12-13)
Keep in mind that EVERYONE is different. There is no black without white, no happiness without sadness, no darkness with light. Everyone has a role to play in life. Be confident that you are playing the role you need and want to play.
There is nothing at all wrong with being different. There is always someone out there just like you too. If someone cannot appreciate you for you, then they are just immature still. If someone doesn’t like you or want to be friends with you, practice telling yourself that it’s okay. You don’t need everyone to like you or want to be friends with you.
Nobody has energy to be friends with everyone. There are always going to be people that don’t like you for whatever reason. That’s ok, because you don’t need them to.
If you enjoy something like cosplay, (which I think is really cool and imaginative, although I don’t do it myself) then do it and be happy doing it. Don’t feel ashamed or embarrassed. There’s nothing wrong with it.
I guarantee there are more kids than just you that like cosplay at school. Maybe the other kids are just too shy to express themselves that way like you have. Maybe the other kids just need to see your confidence so they can express themselves easier.
That kid is also probably looking for attention. Kids in general do almost anything for attention. I bet you he doesn’t think Marvel or DC comics are weird…they dress up too. Don’t worry about his attention though. We all need friends, but don’t let him control what you do to have friends. Don’t let him control who you are.
what if someone said my voice sounded weird? i mean, i can’t change it i guess
You can ask them to just plug their ears.
you should say- ” Many people in this world can say that but it’s definitely not you. Just hear yourself sometimes.LOL”
Ignore them and don’t make any facial expressions to them. DO not give them what they want
you could say ‘ok’ or ‘good to know’ and go about your day
What if someone called me a monkey? What should I do??
Roast the hell out of them
Monkey? Monkey, right? You must have often heard it from your family…
say, “seriously? monkey is the best you could do?” Then she/he will be tempted to say something even worse. But considering that he/she is calling you a monkey in the first place goes to show that he/she doesn’t have any better roast to say, so i guess it would be safe. Then continue with something like, “Give me something better mama.” When he/she can’t think of anything, they will look like cake in the middle of a forest.
Just don’t reply to them, ignore..?
See if one comes.
Actually, could try, “aw, that’s adorable. He’s trying to be clever. It’s actually the Ape you are confused with, perhaps you saw a picture and could understand the word Ape – it’s a tricky one – and figured it said monkey. And that was my ancestors”
“yeah, and you still look like them”
“oh dear, that was easier than i had expected. You still are one. That’s the reason you are stronger than me. I am a result of evolution.”
“I know you…”
“No don’t, you’re gonna start a rumour that you are dumber than a monkey. Besides you will drag me down to your level of stupidity, and beat me with experience. If you are considering hitting me, know this. Bullies are cowards. The biggest, strongest men, I’m talking physically, so you can relate, hate bullies, and would happily crush them. I am going to give you a chance right now to be my mate, and I will help you be liked and respected. Because that is what you want desperately. But you are going about it the wrong way man. Gentle giants get the chicks, man. Put me in your ape-shape, we would rule. Think about it, man, because eventually you are going to have to change.
Great article. Especially #1 and #2, as I think I can train myself to do these. I may not be quick enough to remember the others in time. One question I have … does the person who makes fun of you really have insecurity issues? That is, is it true that only an internally insecure or non-confident person would actually try to make fun of another? People tell me this, and then say to ignore them or feel pity for them instead, but I find it hard to want to remain friends with someone who consistently makes fun of me and laughs at others too in the “just joking” way. I also find it hard to feel sorry for the bully.
My boss and a Co worker make fun of the way I dress. I always dress very smart, stylish but with a bit of quirkiness. I’m very confident in my dress sense but these guys don’t let up. I can handle it infront of them but inside it makes me so hurt and angry and pushes me to want to retaliate with an awful comment back. I really don’t want to do that as I just end up feeling like I’ve fallen to their level. It would be easier as they dress awful and dull in my eyes but I would hate to hurt their feelings. What’s the best thing to do? I’ve had a private word with my boss and he knows I’m unhappy with it, he apologised and had a word with my Co worker and I thought it was sorted but it lasted only a week! Then back to the same old ridicule. Any ideas?
May be tell them if only you guys paid that much attention to the project, assignment or whatever you guys are working on, we would have made a lot more progress.
Or say my dressing ense is at least better than both of yours combined.
Or no reply but an extremely annoyed look.
The awkward silence occured when there is a connection problem, or someone isn’t invested in the conversation, or there is an agenda. Two mature people, that don’t try and dominate, will never have an uncomfortable silence. Because they understand the art of conversation, and the joy of connecting without needing to bully, dominate, force an agenda.
I think your idea of just asking him when you’re alone why he does it, is perfect, it is honest and fulfills the idea of expressing how you feel.
Otherwise how about:
“That would have been funnier if you had hair.” Or
“Very funny, Mario brother.”
But I agree with you that canned responses don’t always work so great. :p
Yesterday I was at the airport picking up a friend. I was wearing a tie dye outfit, face shield and mask. A man without a mask stopped, pointed and laughed at me, not once but twice. It felt like an elementary school bully. As he walked away the second time, I made a comment, but no one heard. What do you do about something like this?
Just a thought, what if you pointed at him and laughed even louder? It’s hard to think of things at the time, and I always suddenly revert to childhood and a real fear of my dad. But nobody now can hurt me like he did then.
My husband always hollers at me when I don’t do something right and then he says he doesn’t he talks down to me I try to take up for myself but it’s not working and sometimes when he’ll ask me a question and I give him the answer back he marked me and make fun of the way I talk I’m so tired of it can you help me!!
It sounds like you need marriage counseling yesterday. That behavior from your husband is not okay.
I’ve learned regardless of where you go or who you associate with people are generally the same. “Friends”, co workers, everyone. The sad truth is society has an image of how you should look or act and when you’re not like them, you get no respect. It can really give you a complex mentally if you constantly think you’re not good enough to be accepted. Just remember to be yourself.. no matter what, you have a voice and you are important regardless of how others make you feel. People only use you to mask their own insecurities but, it doesn’t matter.
yesss i’ve been getting that from people, and i guess you can’t take their behaviour seriously because it’s like every small thing you do is considered ‘ ‘wow, soo rudee uh’ or ‘ i dont like herr..’
I don’t exactly know why, but all my friends and people surrounding me just make fun off me every time whenever I try to say some thing, I have even tried to be quite still they make fun off me. No matter I say something or not everyone makes fun of me and whenever I try to defend myself everything ends up with a conflict. Its again that if i make fun of them everyone gets angry on me and more over expects that I shouldn’t feel bad when they make fun off me. I am totally disturbed due to such situations
Stay away from them and show them you don’t like what they’re doing
So yes. I agree with all you are saying because I deal with it alot. I thought they were my friends but I found out I was really just their last option. Today I went to my sport and my “Friend” walked up to me and pointed to me laughing saying “What are you wearing, and why? It doesnt look good on you”. I the told her that ” Someday somebody needs to punch you in the face so you can learn a lesson.” My mom said that I should handle it a diffrent way. That’s how I ended up on here. I am sorry to hear about your friends. I deal with it from so many of my friends. It sucks.
DO NOT GIVE THEM THE TIME OF DAY. As much as you “WANT” to hang out witht hem. DONT!! They need to think your busy or have friends besides them. Even if it means being alone in public. I know…It sucks.
Make a scene, fight with those people and leave. Then find decent people.
I am not dealing with a real bully I guess, just someone who doesn’t care and doesn’t respect me, making some nasty not funny remarks about me in jest or not even trying to be in jest. and still I don’t know what to do. I’ve asked to speak nicely but it’s not getting me anywhere. It’s not like we’re in a relationship or anything, but I feel I have what to gain from our friendship, it made me feel much better in life in the few weeks that I’ve known him, freer because he is chill, but that chill is costing me.. I don’t know how to get it back. it could be because I have deprecated him, gotten too close with my remarks.. so I will try to never put him down, and treat him well, and not too personal, so he won’t feel too free with me.. I guess. I hope that’ll work. not be too sweet and not too sour
Viktor, thank you for your wise words. I apologize if this offends anyone. I learned early on that I needed some ammunition having been raised by a mother who constantly belittled me and told me that I would never amount to anything. Thus, I developed an insane, off-the-wall sense of humor. Your snappy comebacks resonated with me so I took the liberty of adding a few of my own. Sometimes I can think on my feet and zap the bully right away. Sometimes not. Memorizing some of these helps; however, my motto to my students when I was teaching was, “Adapt & Modify,” according to the situation. Below is my offering. (Note: I stole the first one from Better Call Saul).
15. Q: What do they call 100 property managers buried up to their necks in cement? A: Not enough cement. (change profession, as appropriate).
16. You’re as useful as a screen door in a submarine; or, you’re as funny as a pay toilet in a diarrhea ward.
17. Class action suit! Proof of brain damage from drinking the water in [town name].
18. I want to invite you over to see my new woodchipper.
19. You could be right, but that’s OK—I don’t like you anyway!
20. I baked some cookies for you. They are perfectly safe—I promise.
There was a time when I didn’t wear spects properly. The teacher has pointed that in funny way. The class was laughed.
After many years me and my frnds were talking about our college days.One of the friend reminded that once sir told me about spects to all my frnds… Again they have laughed.
I didn’t like that one.