When It’s Fun to be Awkward And When It’s Not

As you know, our program on how to become good at making conversation is named “Awkward to Awesome: The Art of Making Conversation”.

First, I had some second thoughts about this name. I want to share these thoughts with you because I think it also teaches us something about social life goals.

Reason 1 – Awkward can be a good thing

Sometimes, I don’t think it’s bad to be awkward. I still do awkward things. So does Viktor.

It can be fun to be awkward, and you can laugh about it later. Like that time I spoke English with a Swedish guy for half an hour before I figured out we were both from Sweden.

Having awkward traits makes you who you are. It’s just that when your awkwardness takes over and stops you from being who you want to be, it’s not so fun anymore.

Sometimes the awkwardness is even a symptom of social anxiety or shyness. At this point, it’s not fun and quirky anymore but something that holds us back.

That’s the kind of awkward we want to move away from.

Reason 2 – It felt scammy

When I started off, I wasn’t aiming to become “awesome” because back then, that’s not something I could identify with. And I don’t identify with being some kind of “Mr. Awesome”. That’s just tacky.

However, what I DO think it truly awesome today is the social life I have now. It’s not awesome as in bikini foam parties and celebrity BBQ nights because that’s not what gives me meaning. It is awesome in the way that I can be who I want to be with people I want to be with. I think it’s awesome to have a close family of friends who I can always reach out to and who I know has my back.

At least in my head, when I hear the “Awesome” in “Awkward to Awesome”, I’m thinking about how awesome the small things in a good social life can be: having a walk with a close friend and talking about life. Feeling at ease around people. Feeling confident that you always know what to say next. Always having close friends you can reach out to and hang out with.

What our readers had to say

Finally, when we surveyed our readers and beta testers about what name they liked the most, it won big time.

They thought it summed up what the program is about: How to go from awkward to awesome by mastering the art of making conversation.

That’s when we decided to officially go with that name.

P.S. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. What is YOUR definition of an “awesome” social life? Comment down below. I’ll try to reply to as many comments as I can!

David Morin is the founder of SocialSelf. He's been writing about social skills since 2012. Follow on Twitter or read more.

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  1. Hi David,
    I read your email about Good awkward bad awkward! It’s was really funny and helpful and made me figure things out. But, my comment for you. Is that when conversation started and they talk about things unfamiliar to me I feel stuck or words don’t come out and they be waiting for me to say something but I freak out and say something weird and they be like quite and it annoys me to feel that way and I try but things always go back to the way it is. Is there a way to help me get out of this weirdness or quietness when I’m with people who is funny and interesting?

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  2. To me, an awesome social life is that you can talk to people no matter what their background is, talking without pressure is also something that makes you a good communicator. I think having an awesome social life is about being able to talk to anyone anytime but is also comfortable alone. As long as both being social and alone sounds comfortable to me then I think it’s awesome. I think it’s all about balance.

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  3. My definition is social life is talking to people having conversations with friends and doing activities together. Social life is being able to talk to others and stuff. But I don’t know what that’s like I don’t have any friends I never know how to speak to people. And I suffer from social anxiety, depression, and OCD.

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  4. My definition of awesome social life is being able to enjoy with a group of friends without feeling awkward.
    Being the goofy me which I’m when no-one is around…

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  5. Hello David,
    An awesome social life from my point of view is when you can be very comfortable and confident around people, without having any negative thoughts about yourself or what could happen to you around them.

    Reply
  6. My definition of an awesome social life is spending time doing enjoyable things with others and being able to stand up for myself in every situation that comes my way without fear.

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  7. My definition of an awesome social life is to be confident in who I am, and what I say! I’m not the most confident when it comes to small talk but really confident when it comes to deep conversations!! I want to learn how to be great at both, so that’s my definition of an “awesome” social life!

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  8. To me an awesome social life is to have a small or large group of friends with at least 4 people to gain friendship with, if you always have a good relationship with them all then you’ll always have someone to talk to when you need it most.

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  9. Hello! It is so nice to hear from you and I love your advice!! They’re super efficient and reasonable. I’ve learned a lot of things about myself by analyzing what anxiety and akwardness actually is. I hope I keep improving… Thank you very much!
    Sincerely Konstantina

    Reply
  10. I think the perfect social life doesn’t exist. I mean if people are too outgoing they’d get talked about for being too loud or extreme and vice versa for introverts. But I believe the ideal social life is just having confidence with whoever you’re with and being yourself. I think that draws people towards you because they feel they can also be themselves with you because at the end of the day you don’t care.

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  11. My idea of an awesome social life is the ability to be as crazy as possible (within safe confines) in a comfortable way. Where people are so comfortable with each other that they can let their inner ridiculousness out.

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  12. My definition on how a social life should look like is a combination of alone time and time spent with friends that can help you grow mentally.

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  13. I love your definition of good awesome ????
    I believe Life is awesome when it is spent with the right people. And I believe also that life is awesome when spent with people who make you feel awkward ???? ( good awkward though????).
    Your thoughts on bad awesome hits me hard, I really should work on that part of me. Thanks for helping me realize this.

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  14. An awesome social life is one where you are well-known and popular for a good reason and have a few close friends, and being able to socialize with some of the opposite sex comfortably in any situation.

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  15. I never have anything to do on New Year’s Eve. I get along with people and engage in many activities but they never invite me. On the other hand, the men will always take me on nice dates and invite me on one on one walks and meals, hook up with me, but never invite me to parties and things.

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  16. I think for me being awesome means being able to approach people at any time and start a conversation so that they are interested and want to continue it. It’s awesome when people love and appreciate you, and when they notice the good things you do.

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  17. I feel I’m a different kind of social person same time I feel confident with a group of people and I love to hang out with them but at the same point I do not feel confident with different groups of people, I become very shy and very under confidence that I could not able to talk and just wanted to run out from that place.

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  18. An awesome social life for me is a state, where I feel comfortable talking to strangers and having a good conversation with them. More importantly, I would be respected by others, would not be left out but included, and “simply” be more open to people and more daring.

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  19. -my definition of awesome social life is being able to talk to anyone openly and not be afraid that I would be judged.
    -being able to speak my mind
    -having fun while hanging out in a group

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  20. I think Awkward To Awesome is an amazing title because it really rings true. However, I’ve only made it halfway through, half awkward and half awesome. Sometimes when I’m being myself I suddenly get very conscious of what I’m saying and even wait for others’ validation before laughing, as if they control my sense of humor. I’m still working on this because I know how it feels to be the bad awkward. Also, David, I was wondering about this for some time since I had found myself in a situation where I didn’t know what to do- how do you behave when you’re well aware you’re being scrutinized?

    Thank you so much for doing this, and taking out time to help others overcome awkwardness when you’ve overcome it yourself❤️

    Reply
  21. well my opinion of a awesome social life is having a various types of friends & always happy without having a sad moment & loneliness joy every single day at the moment is my wish in my social life.

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  22. My idea of an awesome social life would be talking even when my mental health and self-confidence is at 0%. When I’m in such a state, my go-to response is shutting down and entering low power mode. When I’m stressed out, I create a bubble around me and nobody can get in. I have the kind of personality where I’m not gonna talk about what I don’t have knowledge in. If people are talking about something that I don’t know anything about, I end up playing the “quiet and shy guy card.”
    That usually happens when I’m insecure and stressed out. If all my needs are met, I’m a completely different person. You wouldn’t recognize me.

    Reply
  23. My definition of “awkward to awesome” is transforming from being an anxious,non-confident conversationalist to a very confident conversationalist who creates connections with people and leaves a great impact on people’s lives.

    Reply

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