When It’s Fun to be Awkward And When It’s Not

As you know, our program on how to become good at making conversation is named “Awkward to Awesome: The Art of Making Conversation”.

First, I had some second thoughts about this name. I want to share these thoughts with you because I think it also teaches us something about social life goals.

Reason 1 – Awkward can be a good thing

Sometimes, I don’t think it’s bad to be awkward. I still do awkward things. So does Viktor.

It can be fun to be awkward, and you can laugh about it later. Like that time I spoke English with a Swedish guy for half an hour before I figured out we were both from Sweden.

Having awkward traits makes you who you are. It’s just that when your awkwardness takes over and stops you from being who you want to be, it’s not so fun anymore.

Sometimes the awkwardness is even a symptom of social anxiety or shyness. At this point, it’s not fun and quirky anymore but something that holds us back.

That’s the kind of awkward we want to move away from.

Reason 2 – It felt scammy

When I started off, I wasn’t aiming to become “awesome” because back then, that’s not something I could identify with. And I don’t identify with being some kind of “Mr. Awesome”. That’s just tacky.

However, what I DO think it truly awesome today is the social life I have now. It’s not awesome as in bikini foam parties and celebrity BBQ nights because that’s not what gives me meaning. It is awesome in the way that I can be who I want to be with people I want to be with. I think it’s awesome to have a close family of friends who I can always reach out to and who I know has my back.

At least in my head, when I hear the “Awesome” in “Awkward to Awesome”, I’m thinking about how awesome the small things in a good social life can be: having a walk with a close friend and talking about life. Feeling at ease around people. Feeling confident that you always know what to say next. Always having close friends you can reach out to and hang out with.

What our readers had to say

Finally, when we surveyed our readers and beta testers about what name they liked the most, it won big time.

They thought it summed up what the program is about: How to go from awkward to awesome by mastering the art of making conversation.

That’s when we decided to officially go with that name.

P.S. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. What is YOUR definition of an “awesome” social life? Comment down below. I’ll try to reply to as many comments as I can!

David Morin is the founder of SocialSelf. He's been writing about social skills since 2012. Follow on Twitter or read more.

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  1. An amazing social life is one where you barely have to work to make friends and everyone is eager to talk to you. Everyone makes you feel comfortable and you never have intrusive thoughts that tell you “you’re being too weird” or “do you really think any of these people actually like you?”

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  2. An awesome social life is having nice trusting friends and as few fake ones as possible. It can also be fun to have rivals or just friends and/or enemies u have that kind of relationship with ????. It’s having a loving family who’s always there for you and such. Also, it’s having just the right amount of boyfriends/girlfriends/non-binary friends and if you choose one that they’re nice and you can trust them with stuff ????.

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  3. My definition of an awesome social life is being able to open up to people without having to worry so much about what we’re saying wrong or thinking we won’t be liked once we talk to them, just having a positive thought and going with the flow ????

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  4. My awesome of a social life is having a group of people to talk with on various topics also too in sharing your interests in a part of the group.
    Learning about who you others are.

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  5. I think an awesome social life is when you are able to get an instant connection with any person you meet and be able to forge a healthy bond with them.

    Reply
  6. For me, an awesome social life is having some close friends who I know well and trust, and spending a healthy amount of time with them, sharing my feelings and stuff that happened to me recently, and vice versa.

    And also feeling happy and relaxed with good friends and enjoying the here and now.

    Reply
  7. Awesome social life to me, starts from my family, Husband and kids and then having close family friends who i am free with who i can always reach out to and trust and rely on.

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  8. Hello David,
    You asked me what is my definition of an awesome social life. What I think about an awesome social life is:
    – Feeling confident to talk with strangers and making connections with them
    – Enjoying a late night with my closest friends doing awkward things.
    – Having interesting conversations to talk to. That makes people attracted to me
    – Having a deep conversation with a close friend or one I’m attracted to
    – Feeling confident in all times. like, when I am in an awkward situation
    – And as you said in the email, feeling confident that I always know what to say next.

    Reply
  9. My definition of awesome in social life is letting loose of oneself shedding all inhibitions. Simply enjoying and not thinking about the world.

    Reply
  10. An awesome social life for me is having a bunch of friends. Close friends as well as acquaintances. Being funny is also a huge help to becoming more social and likable.
    I want to be able to start conversations, keep them going and end them on proper notes, leaving the person wanting to talk to me even more.

    Reply
  11. Hi David,
    As per my thinking an awesome social life is the kind of life where either your family members or friends are genuine with you. Not that they are too loving or caring when you do something great or despise you for wrong doings. The kind of family life I’ve had only depends on your doings. You do you get you don’t do you don’t get anything. It’s like if things go wrong people will talk nonsense about you. You prove yourself to them and they will treat you like a king. That’s the kind of world I am in. There are a lot of my experiences and thoughts that I would like to share with you. Will speak to you soon.
    From
    Mudit Kapoor

    Reply
  12. Awesome social life :- where everyone wants to talk to you, where everyone around you is actually interested in talking to you….like not everyone only your best friends or more like friends or people you actually hang out with

    Reply
  13. An awesome social life would be one with good friends, a boyfriend, parties, outings, no awkward silences that end conversations and being able to talk and connect with people and let them in.

    Reply
  14. A good social life for me would be having a few close friends that you can completely be yourself with (which I have) and being confident at social gatherings with friends of friends that I don’t know yet, and being able to make a connection with those friends so that they begin to include me in their gatherings as well.

    Reply
  15. A good social life for me is one that I can confidently start a conversation with a stranger without being anxious about what to say. Also one that I am seen and appreciate for who I am.

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  16. A social life where you don’t have to force yourself to socialize at times when you are not feeling it. In my opinion, this is what a great social life is.

    Reply
  17. What would I call an awesome social life? Well, it is having someone close I can share everything with – my joys, my worries, my random thoughts (even the stupidest stuff my mind has created :D) etc. It is knowing that no matter what this person still loves me for who I am. It is having friends who I can hit up when I want to do something or go exploring somewhere. It is having the company where I can be myself. The list actually goes on but these are my main definitions of an awesome social life.

    Reply
  18. A good social life is one where we both have a really good conversation that connects to both of us, and a life where we both do stuff that we both like together. We both try to make an effort, and don’t ignore each other, and when we have to cancel we tell them that We have to cancel the plans. If something serious is going on then we tell them that we can’t hang out for a while instead of not texting them and thinking everything is fine when it is, only to have the the one person gets heart broken and has to text them ro see what’s been going on.

    Reply
  19. Being with people that see you, acknowledge you and clearly want to be with you. . . AND being someone, yourself, who see’s others, acknowledges others and lets them know through your body language that you enjoy their presence.

    Reply
  20. To me, an awesome social life is being able to partake in the activities and experiences that you want to with the people you want to without feeling like your own anxiety is a real and sentient part of you that stops you having those interactions.

    Reply
  21. Great social life to me is being or have the ability to be comfortable and make others comfortable whether they are a strange or someone you know from years and be able to fully express myself without any judgements or my fears of being overheard etc etc. Additionally, I would like to be able to speak up during group conversations

    Reply
  22. An awesome social life is a rare thing

    From my perspective, having an awesome social life is the ability to not overthink during the conversation. Being able to get comfortable with people by the second

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  23. Just having good friends around me who enjoy to be around me & think i’m funny & not boring. I want it to be easy for me to meet new people & be liked quickly.

    Reply

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