As you know, our program on how to become good at making conversation is named “Awkward to Awesome: The Art of Making Conversation”.
First, I had some second thoughts about this name. I want to share these thoughts with you because I think it also teaches us something about social life goals.
Reason 1 – Awkward can be a good thing
Sometimes, I don’t think it’s bad to be awkward. I still do awkward things. So does Viktor.
It can be fun to be awkward, and you can laugh about it later. Like that time I spoke English with a Swedish guy for half an hour before I figured out we were both from Sweden.
Having awkward traits makes you who you are. It’s just that when your awkwardness takes over and stops you from being who you want to be, it’s not so fun anymore.
Sometimes the awkwardness is even a symptom of social anxiety or shyness. At this point, it’s not fun and quirky anymore but something that holds us back.
That’s the kind of awkward we want to move away from.
Reason 2 – It felt scammy
When I started off, I wasn’t aiming to become “awesome” because back then, that’s not something I could identify with. And I don’t identify with being some kind of “Mr. Awesome”. That’s just tacky.
However, what I DO think it truly awesome today is the social life I have now. It’s not awesome as in bikini foam parties and celebrity BBQ nights because that’s not what gives me meaning. It is awesome in the way that I can be who I want to be with people I want to be with. I think it’s awesome to have a close family of friends who I can always reach out to and who I know has my back.
At least in my head, when I hear the “Awesome” in “Awkward to Awesome”, I’m thinking about how awesome the small things in a good social life can be: having a walk with a close friend and talking about life. Feeling at ease around people. Feeling confident that you always know what to say next. Always having close friends you can reach out to and hang out with.
What our readers had to say
Finally, when we surveyed our readers and beta testers about what name they liked the most, it won big time.
They thought it summed up what the program is about: How to go from awkward to awesome by mastering the art of making conversation.
That’s when we decided to officially go with that name.
P.S. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. What is YOUR definition of an “awesome” social life? Comment down below. I’ll try to reply to as many comments as I can!
For me, an awesome social life is being able to hold a conversation with anyone without any anxiety, having a few close life long friends who understand me, and me them, being able to make and keep friends easily and having lots of different social groups, being the person people like to talk to because I make them happy.
One or two close friends you are comfortable to be yourself with and who truly care about you and the ability to make conversation and enjoy yourself in new social settings.
having a few close friends, where there is comfort to be yourself whether that be awkward or awesome
You rocked it David ????????on the small things to do in a good social life????????all I would ever want is to do the same exact things u have mentioned into a good social life????????THANKS
awesome social life:
Having a group of friends with whom I have real connections.
And from Zahraa’s comment:
Expressing myself effortlessly without pretending.
An awesome social life on my part is one where am able to do all the things confidently without being held back by any doubts
I think “awesome” is to have a friend that you can also share the silence.
I think awesome social life it’s about being socially proactive without being too nice nor creepy
, about having a strong charismatic personality too , importantly how to handle hard social situations
And Being comfortable stating your own opinion and making mistakes without fear of being judged
In summary it’s about expressing yourself comfortably at its purest form effortlessly without any kind of pretending
Awesome is good by having people who can really do something to you like to recover from any bad thought of an idea.
My idea of an awesome social life is having a few friends maybe four or five that I can freely relate to and that I can count on. Friends who can help me discover and bring out my inner self. Friends who i can travel the world with
Feeling awkwardly awesome is when your able to get into deep conversations and then silly conversations at the same time and feeling confident and comfortable with the ppl your socializing with, which is my problem, when I feel like intimidated or when I know someone in the group is more outgoing and talks more, I tend to shy away and not input my opinions or experiences. I feel like that person is more better socializing then me so I tend to become more quiet and that’s when I start to feel the bad awkward vibe. I would like to join your group when it’s open please! I really need help in this area of my life.
I think overcoming the bad awkward is the best. feeling. ever. My experience in this is that, I overthink what to say etc when I was grabbing coffee with an old friend. Turns out, the conversation flowed smoothly and it wasn’t awkward at all. Thank you David for the awesome newsletter.
Being able to feel you can be you with out trying so hard to sound more interesting to someone so they will respond in a positive way towards you
I believe an awesome social life is one where you dont talk to lots of people but connect with people you relate to. Right now I most definitely dont have that. I was texting a kind girl that I like but we’ve talked so much, I don’t know what to ask her. She actually asked me what’s with all the questions. So iru conversation normaly goes like:
Her: Heyyo
Me: Hey, what’s up?
Her: I just woke up lol
Me: lol
Her: yeah
I even told her that I felt I had no more questions to ask and she told me just to give with the flow but there no river to go with the flow anymore. Yesterday we got into personal information and she was telling me how she missed her sister alot. Seeing as I have a sister I rarely see, I told her I can relate. She then said “no you dont” and afterwords said “I dont like it when people say that… please dont say it again, okay?”
This morning I sent a heart touching apology. She told me not to me so hard on myself. We talked for a bit but then she stopped talking.
I find it’s very difficult but hey, I’m a beginner and I dont care how many times I mess up, I’m still going to practice my social skills no matter what.
In my opinion, a good social life is where u are comfortable.
An awesome social life to me is that people enjoy your company and attracted to join you whenever you are.
Maybe i’m not a people person idk, it just makes me feel tired to talk to others not all the times but sometimes i feel that way
i can ask a question but to sit with them and chill it makes me uncomfortable and i don’t know what to do (i feel that way with strangers)
when it’s one on one : i feel uncomfortable i feel the urge to keep talking and asking questions,actually i hear what the other has to say and we have a conversation but it makes me tired and uncomfortable and i feel drained
when it’s with a group : i feel uncomfortable also hahahaha not a new thing
and when strangers talk with each other i’m the quiet person i feel uncomfortable and i think i make them uncomfortable idk
But i think based on my body language i make them feel like i don’t want to talk to them or i want to be left alone or that they annoy me idk ???? (reading David’s emails is making realize that it’s not like that all the time)
Thanks to David i knew that the body language is a very important factor in any conversations
And the OFC method is actually great
So an awesome social life will be being comfortable and relaxed with others ig and enjoying time with them
(i’m an introvert btw idk if this has to do with it)
And one last thing i have a sister it’s a one years old difference between us but i do enjoy my time with her and we have great time with each other so i think i would like to be with others like i’m with her (that’s how an awesome social life would be ig)
I feel awkward when someone is around me.if someone is trying to make comfortable me.I will talk to them without any anxiety
Right now, i feel very uneasy when i talk to certain people. And it’s not just friends, i feel uneasy even talking to family members sometimes. It’s not that i don’t like them or anything, i love them and want to have a normal conversation with them but that feeling of uneasiness just comes. For me, a good social life is when you are comfortable talking to the those you are with. I don’t have that type of social life now but i know that if i keep trying, things can and will get better.
An awsome social life for me is 5 or 6 long-term friends and many groups–the more people, the better. I can’t wait until the pandemic is over and we can get back together face-to-face.
But I do still have two problems–1) When I say or do something awkward (never unkind, just geeky), I beat myself up for it for way too long, and 2) Sometimes someone else’s comment will temporarily bring back my lonely and sometimes scary childhood.
These are both caused, I think, by an occasional tendency to engage in “impression management.”
For me, ideal social life is being around people who support you, like you the way you are, have sense of humour and having my own squad of friends, who have time to spend time together, do a lot of crazy things and also party of course.
for me you experience self -independence and you can avoid getting confused while you are in the situation because you can’t feel your whole experience so it’s just great if nothing negative enters your brain
Being with people who truly want you there and want to be with you too. Being comfortable and a little excited in their company.
To me awesome social life is wherever you go you become the centre of gravity, make friends and attract both male and females towards you.
Someone who can initiate and hold conversation
Who talks best and who is an expert in making things and who knows what to say at what time
For me is the ability to maintain a good conversation with friends and family.
An awesome social life is when I am able to communicate normally with people and have perfect balance of humour, respect between each other and understanding if they or me are going through tough phase and we don’t judge. Who doesn’t like crazy games played among friends and family?
For me an awesome social life, is being included in planned events, having the options of being with people when at loose ends, feeling relaxed and at ease in social events, contributing to the fun of the occasions…
for me, an awesome social life is where you are confident talking to others . this includes the bravery to start a conversation, the idea to talk about and the ability to make the conversation keep on going. personally , i am jealous for the people who are able to do so.