When It’s Fun to be Awkward And When It’s Not

As you know, our program on how to become good at making conversation is named “Awkward to Awesome: The Art of Making Conversation”.

First, I had some second thoughts about this name. I want to share these thoughts with you because I think it also teaches us something about social life goals.

Reason 1 – Awkward can be a good thing

Sometimes, I don’t think it’s bad to be awkward. I still do awkward things. So does Viktor.

It can be fun to be awkward, and you can laugh about it later. Like that time I spoke English with a Swedish guy for half an hour before I figured out we were both from Sweden.

Having awkward traits makes you who you are. It’s just that when your awkwardness takes over and stops you from being who you want to be, it’s not so fun anymore.

Sometimes the awkwardness is even a symptom of social anxiety or shyness. At this point, it’s not fun and quirky anymore but something that holds us back.

That’s the kind of awkward we want to move away from.

Reason 2 – It felt scammy

When I started off, I wasn’t aiming to become “awesome” because back then, that’s not something I could identify with. And I don’t identify with being some kind of “Mr. Awesome”. That’s just tacky.

However, what I DO think it truly awesome today is the social life I have now. It’s not awesome as in bikini foam parties and celebrity BBQ nights because that’s not what gives me meaning. It is awesome in the way that I can be who I want to be with people I want to be with. I think it’s awesome to have a close family of friends who I can always reach out to and who I know has my back.

At least in my head, when I hear the “Awesome” in “Awkward to Awesome”, I’m thinking about how awesome the small things in a good social life can be: having a walk with a close friend and talking about life. Feeling at ease around people. Feeling confident that you always know what to say next. Always having close friends you can reach out to and hang out with.

What our readers had to say

Finally, when we surveyed our readers and beta testers about what name they liked the most, it won big time.

They thought it summed up what the program is about: How to go from awkward to awesome by mastering the art of making conversation.

That’s when we decided to officially go with that name.

P.S. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. What is YOUR definition of an “awesome” social life? Comment down below. I’ll try to reply to as many comments as I can!

David Morin is the founder of SocialSelf. He's been writing about social skills since 2012. Follow on Twitter or read more.

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  1. I believe for me an awesome social life would be to have friends who I can trust and that I can have endless conversations of various things, having a friendship where both involved ( me and the person) put effort in to it, and of course to travel with a friend, not a big trip, but just by seeing them outside of where you would normally meet them.

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  2. For me man, an awesome social life is just where I have friends I can trust blindly. Friend I dont even need to doubt will always be there for me and I’ll always be there for them. If only I could have that…

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  3. For me awsome life is quite same as you I love being my self around people you meet without any hesitation. Just able to speak what I wanna say

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  4. For me a good social life is being able to talk to lots of people and make new friends. I would also like to be friends with some guys because honestly they are better than girls for just being yourself but it really isn’t as normalized as it should be.

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  5. I would said a awesome social life to me is having close friends and family that I can talk to all the time about anything whether for hours or just a few minutes

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  6. Well according to me an awesome social life would where you can be yourself and confident while talking to people and not have the fear of awkwardness or judgement holding you back. I’d love to feel confident to seek out and meet new people without feeling shy or awkward. An awesome social life would be meeting new people confidently and feeling comfortable in expressing your views and ideas in a conversation with friends without feeling awkward or embarrassed, being charismatic ; being comfortable with making new friends or starting a conversation with a stranger without feeling anxious.
    Thank you!

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  7. My definition of an awesome social life is being able to be yourself in the field of conversation, to be able to speak with confidence and full charisma to people and not caving yourself in silence during conversation… like this other day I had great conversation with a taxify driver and I could tell he was slightly uncomfortable speaking especially when we are complete strangers and at first the social anxiety would kick in but looking back from what I read and the coaching I have been receiving from sociapro I finally got out of my head and started speaking and I actually found out we have a lot in common and we connected right away I don’t have that much of a problem with dialogue though but I still battle with social anxiety especially communicating with a group of people I’m working on it though… but basically speaking with no worries even if what you say is awkward from time to time being outspoken as you should be in the presence of people and for once not being identified as quiet, shy or the socially awkward one in the eyes of people.

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  8. I think a good social times is being around friends, family, and the person you love there all good to be around because they know you love enjoy being around you and you do to it’s not always easy to be around someone even the ones you love but they do help you get through tough things in life.

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  9. My definition of an awesome social life is hanging out with friends at home in our pyjamas laughing so hard at our weird not so funny stories????

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  10. My definition of an awesome social life is talking to close friends who you feel trusted with and connect with and talking to girls is a big win to have an awesome social life.

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  11. I would for the longest was afraid to talk to people online and that should be the easiest way of communicating. I had a great conversation with someone from Greece and for the fist time it was super easy. It felt like I was talking to someone I knew forever. Just two people having a conversation. My Awkwardness is slowly transitioning away. I don’t even get tense when using online dating services. Hopefully I can get past that awkwardness that I get in public. I’m glad I found this site.

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  12. I think awesome social life is having great friends that you an always count on. It doesn’t necessarily mean to have so many friends but at least there are some people who’ll always want to spend time with you no matter what.

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  13. All great people have one thing in common . They have all been selfless in their service to others . That was their intention all along in to serve others . To help them overcome obstacles .
    As i define , discovered my thoughts on this definition of an awesome social life today !
    Thank you David to help me discover my thought .

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  14. I’ve been having trouble since I broke up my friendship with my friends. And since then I’ve been having trouble speaking to people and suddenly felt so anxious. Plus this virus is making it worse I can’t talk to anyone randomly like hey!
    But I guess I found this website and I gave it a shot.

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  15. Awesome social is being confident in who you are. Not feeling vulnerable at superior knowledge, knowing there will always be someone better, but you can still adapt cheerfully around such people and exhibit your own values without vulnerability.

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  16. An awesome social life for me is that I can be be who I want to be with others specially to the ones whom I love talking to. An awesome social life is having an effective communication with other people. For me, listening is one of the key that leads to an effective communication. I hope every people knows how to listen and not just talking and talking.

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  17. In my opinion awesome social life have to be creat by us through our own thoughts and did . If I am free to do anything and free to talk about anything without being very much concern about the consequences and able to handle the situation which is the result of my own did then I think it will be my awesome social life.

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  18. I don’t really want a social life. The few friends that I have are enough for me. And as for with women, I let money do the work.

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  19. I would say lots of diverse people that want to hear other diverse groups! My husband recently passed away and I am trying to find ME again. Not sure how I found you. I read intently all of your suggestions on how to be not so awkward in social gatherings. I always had my person there. He was a huge people person. I have to say I am too. I just am not sure where I fit into the scene of talking and conveying my thoughts. How to be a good listener.

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  20. I think awesome social life is about knowing how to properly form deep connections with people and being yourself around them

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  21. To me its all about being comfortable around the people you are around and the fact you love being urself around them without any judgement.

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  22. My awesome social life doesn’t have to be a big circle of friends. Just a few close friends and family that I know I can trust and talk to and well as me being there for them. My husband is more of an extrovert and I used to feel I had to keep up with him, though it didn’t feel right to me. Now I’m comfortable not being like him and being more true to myself. I like my alone time to reflect and recharge which makes me better at communicating with others.

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  23. An awesome social life is being able to do whatever you want without your fear of being judged holding you back. For me it’s being able to speak with complete strangers and create connections with them.

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  24. My definition of Awesome social life is when you can talk with anyone comfortably and be yourself at the same time. Of course there will be some dickheads out there just like David said but I won’t let them stop me from improving????.

    now, thanks to David, I am slowly but surely going from low profile to awesome socially.

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  25. An awesome social life is to have friends and stay in contact with them and girls too even if you are away and you can stay in contact that’s awesome

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  26. Awesome social life is when we are well versed and are able to talk on any topic to converse on and make a comfortable connection with the person we are with.

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  27. Awsome social life is when are being able to converse with everyone you want to converse without feeling anxious and being able to create friendships

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    • To me an awesome social life is to have people around you you are comfortable with and can hang out with them if you want to. If you feel happy around them and they know your secrets but won’t tell anybody. Those people you made friends with are never going to hurt you or embarrass you. An awesome social life also means that I don’t have to be shy talking to people I’m attracted to.

      Reply

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