When It’s Fun to be Awkward And When It’s Not

As you know, our program on how to become good at making conversation is named “Awkward to Awesome: The Art of Making Conversation”.

First, I had some second thoughts about this name. I want to share these thoughts with you because I think it also teaches us something about social life goals.

Reason 1 – Awkward can be a good thing

Sometimes, I don’t think it’s bad to be awkward. I still do awkward things. So does Viktor.

It can be fun to be awkward, and you can laugh about it later. Like that time I spoke English with a Swedish guy for half an hour before I figured out we were both from Sweden.

Having awkward traits makes you who you are. It’s just that when your awkwardness takes over and stops you from being who you want to be, it’s not so fun anymore.

Sometimes the awkwardness is even a symptom of social anxiety or shyness. At this point, it’s not fun and quirky anymore but something that holds us back.

That’s the kind of awkward we want to move away from.

Reason 2 – It felt scammy

When I started off, I wasn’t aiming to become “awesome” because back then, that’s not something I could identify with. And I don’t identify with being some kind of “Mr. Awesome”. That’s just tacky.

However, what I DO think it truly awesome today is the social life I have now. It’s not awesome as in bikini foam parties and celebrity BBQ nights because that’s not what gives me meaning. It is awesome in the way that I can be who I want to be with people I want to be with. I think it’s awesome to have a close family of friends who I can always reach out to and who I know has my back.

At least in my head, when I hear the “Awesome” in “Awkward to Awesome”, I’m thinking about how awesome the small things in a good social life can be: having a walk with a close friend and talking about life. Feeling at ease around people. Feeling confident that you always know what to say next. Always having close friends you can reach out to and hang out with.

What our readers had to say

Finally, when we surveyed our readers and beta testers about what name they liked the most, it won big time.

They thought it summed up what the program is about: How to go from awkward to awesome by mastering the art of making conversation.

That’s when we decided to officially go with that name.

P.S. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. What is YOUR definition of an “awesome” social life? Comment down below. I’ll try to reply to as many comments as I can!

David Morin is the founder of SocialSelf. He's been writing about social skills since 2012. Follow on Twitter or read more.

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  1. My opinion about awesome social life is if one not at all scared on facing any kind of new people and if one able to achieve his career using proper like minded people then that one is having an awesome social social life ????.

    Reply
    • My idea of an awesome social life is being able to talk to anyone, people from all walks of life, without feeling inadequate or uncomfortable.

      Reply
  2. I think that being happy and having the right friends is my definition of an awesome social life. Being happy with who you are and what you are and being confident, for me is one of the most important parts of an awesome social life. To be honest, I am afraid of being awkward, but I think after the Awkward to Awesome course, I think I may be able to change that.

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    • I share the same opinion and think being awesome is when I’ll be able to feel confident being around all sorts of people and being able to feel relaxed and express my opinions freely.

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  3. I agree with everything!
    I think that it’s really great because before I did the test to this emails. I was simply lost, I had no idea what to do or how to do it right.
    Personally I have had it hard to make friends because, i didn’t know what to say or what I can say. It was all a mess anyway. I think having close friends to be comfortable around is much better than having alot of unknown once.
    It sounds really interesting because I already love this so much!
    Thanks David^^

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  4. An awesome social life for me is being surrounded with people who can bring yourself out without even trying or noticing. It just that natural instant familiarity and connection that proves to you who you are. (If that makes sense…)

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  5. To have an awesome social life means the pleasure you enjoy when sharing your ideas about certain topics with the people you interact with

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  6. Hy Morin… Thank you for this wonderful opportunity and all your emails. Well I think my own definition of an awesome social life is being around people that always motivate you and you feel comfortable around doing things that you extra ordinarily won’t do but once you do them you feel this extra ordinary joy and comfort.

    Reply
  7. Hi Morin,
    Thanks for your words of wisdom about communicating more effectively. They’ve really helped me and I’ve learnt a lot. For me a great social life is embracing me for who I’m and also embracing others for who they are, with or without our flaws, such as, social awkwardness etc.

    Reply
  8. Thanks for these awesome emails theyre really helpful. I would say it would be awesome to have a sense of humor and be able to get people to laugh. This would get people to want to listen to you talk since you are funny.

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  9. According to me an awesome social life would look like – me able to start conversation with the person i wanna talk to and not making dumb out of myself and investing more time to my like minded friends , with whom you can act like anything.

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  10. To be with the people I or you love, is never something to be taken for granted. The feeling of comfort is indescribable. Well, at least for me who reaallly hate being in a crowded place with acquaintances and work place.

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  11. Thanks for the emails!! They’re very useful and teach a lot about communication.

    For me, an awesome social life is when you can go out with friends a few times a month to places that you all want to go to. Or you take turns deciding where to go.

    When you can share your stories about various topics and listen sometimes as well as talk!

    I think an awesome social life is created when people may be busy but can always make time in the future for you. And then you can do the same for them too!

    Reply
  12. Mr. David I must say I’m really enjoying your articles. You r providing the kind of stuff which is really close to my life. Your articles not only tells about basic human social problems but also gives solutions on how to tackle them effectively. I used to be a very nervous type of personality who always complains about insufficient enjoying life. I was abused mentally and physically in my childhood by my parents and classmates due to which I have developed an anti social type of personality. I sed to be shy, nervous, angry at different situations without any valid reason bcz I lacked emotional maturity. But time passes and I have grown more mature by age. Now I don’t care about anything happening in the world. What i care is just how to make your each day better than previous ones. Now I really enjoying doing small stuffs. I have grown passion for traveling and doing different new things. My goal is to just explore my life and the world more and more. I have developed a mindset of peace and satisfaction. I hope we will colloborate in near future. Nice to meet u Mr. David

    Reply
  13. Awkward to awesome sounds like a great way to improve my relationships with friends, family and significant others! I would love to also learn how to improve emotional intelligence to catch subtle body language cues and anticipate people’s emmotional needs, especially if talking about a tough or controversial subject. I have trouble approaching these subjects in a way that does not start conflict or undue mental strain with the person I am speaking to.

    Reply
  14. For me having an awesome life would be to have friends (I don’t mind if they’re few, if they are good) and hang around with them without having to worry about whether I would like them or not, just be with them, chilling.

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  15. This is fantastic! I’m learning so much. My ability to talk to people is growing! Thank you very much David for sharing your knowledge! God bless you!

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  16. According to me an awesome social life is which you have many good friends to hang out with, who respects you, confident speaking in public etc

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  17. Well If you talk about social life, it’s simply mean that you are presenting your things, your life your daily basis routine to all the people around you.. but if you ask for Awesome Social Life, for me that means you are free to live your life the way you want to, you don’t need to think before speaking anything socially, or before presenting anything to around the social people.. you don’t need to make yourself comfortable as per other expectation.. it’s only you who is comfortable and this is the important thing that you only have to think about your comfort, your expectations.. not others.. This is Awesome Social Life for me..

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  18. Hello 🙂
    When I hear “awesome social life” the first thing that comes to my mind is being free and able to say whatever comes to my mind without thinking that I could say something wrong.
    I overthink what I’m about to say too long that sometimes it makes me look awkward.
    I’ve been applying some of the tips you provided in your emails -and by the way they are AWESOME- and I’ve been noticing positive changes in my social life 🙂

    Reply
    • You summed all what I was thinking to write. It is amazing how can we relate to each other experiences. I do overthink I am very awkward and my awkwardness held me back from living free. I also think those emails are the best so far.

      Reply
  19. Hi
    An awesome social life to me is when I can be just me…Not being expected to have an opinion or to contribute to a conversation. Sometimes I really just want to listen and observe, other times I like to chat mostly one on one.
    Regards
    Gerda
    Thanks for the good content!

    Reply
  20. I think you have to feel awesome with yourself first. And get over the feeling of being judged and being afraid of being embarrassed. I think that’s my biggest obstacle.

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  21. When we can say what we want to say, and don’t regret saying what we did, then it makes that interaction pleasant and meaningful.

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  22. My definition of a good social life would be someone who is confident in what they say to people and strangers. They also have a somewhat deep if not totally deep connection with people when the talk to each other.

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  23. I find I be my self no matter who I talk to.
    I can’t always get on with some.
    We find that we can’t understand each other and I just accept it.
    I learnt to start over again.

    Reply
  24. First you have to feel awesome with yourself first before you can be socially awesome, you have to look within yourself and accept who you are, the good and the bad and then tell yourself you are awesome and wonderfully made. We are all awesome in our ways even if we don’t all know it we are, that is why it is important to surround yourself with positive friends who also tap in into your current of your awesomeness, this makes you feel even more awesome and equally makes they people around you feel awesome too. I’ve suffered from social anxiety, low self esteem all my life, I’m slowly learning how to be grateful and appreciate the little things and it’s done wonders to my life, so don’t beat your self up you are a work in progress!
    In conclusion being socially awesome starts with you, there is no limit to how awesome you can be and equally no limit to how awesome you can be make people around you feel by just simply being awesome yourself just they way you are !

    Reply
  25. My definition of awesome social life is quite similar to your definition. Because I believe that you need to have someone who you can tell all your problems to and share good memories. Further I need to inform you that all your emails are really helpful, also you are doing a great help for everyone. I searched everywhere for a real advice about social anxiety but everything required to pay. I am really grateful to you. May God bless you.

    Reply
  26. Hi David. I’m struggling with making and keeping friends. I’m nice to everyone but I don’t feel like I have any true, always there, got your back friends and it makes me upset. I don’t like being lonely. People are nice to me but I want someone I can always turn to. How do I make my good acquaintances want to become my friends? How do I keep my guy friends after they don’t have a crush on me anymore? How do I make sure that my friends are my friends? Thanks

    Reply
  27. To me, an awesome life is when I’m able to accept who I truly am, doesn’t have to be fearful or anxious that I might mess up the conversation and whatsoever. Besides, being able to enjoy myself in every moment of time makes me feel that my life is awesome

    Reply
  28. Dear David, I really love and appreciate your approach to overcoming social anxiety. They are realistic and easy to relate with. Well, my definition of an awesome social life is being able to express myself without feeling judged or paranoid.

    Reply

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