As you know, our program on how to become good at making conversation is named “Awkward to Awesome: The Art of Making Conversation”.
First, I had some second thoughts about this name. I want to share these thoughts with you because I think it also teaches us something about social life goals.
Reason 1 – Awkward can be a good thing
Sometimes, I don’t think it’s bad to be awkward. I still do awkward things. So does Viktor.
It can be fun to be awkward, and you can laugh about it later. Like that time I spoke English with a Swedish guy for half an hour before I figured out we were both from Sweden.
Having awkward traits makes you who you are. It’s just that when your awkwardness takes over and stops you from being who you want to be, it’s not so fun anymore.
Sometimes the awkwardness is even a symptom of social anxiety or shyness. At this point, it’s not fun and quirky anymore but something that holds us back.
That’s the kind of awkward we want to move away from.
Reason 2 – It felt scammy
When I started off, I wasn’t aiming to become “awesome” because back then, that’s not something I could identify with. And I don’t identify with being some kind of “Mr. Awesome”. That’s just tacky.
However, what I DO think it truly awesome today is the social life I have now. It’s not awesome as in bikini foam parties and celebrity BBQ nights because that’s not what gives me meaning. It is awesome in the way that I can be who I want to be with people I want to be with. I think it’s awesome to have a close family of friends who I can always reach out to and who I know has my back.
At least in my head, when I hear the “Awesome” in “Awkward to Awesome”, I’m thinking about how awesome the small things in a good social life can be: having a walk with a close friend and talking about life. Feeling at ease around people. Feeling confident that you always know what to say next. Always having close friends you can reach out to and hang out with.
What our readers had to say
Finally, when we surveyed our readers and beta testers about what name they liked the most, it won big time.
They thought it summed up what the program is about: How to go from awkward to awesome by mastering the art of making conversation.
That’s when we decided to officially go with that name.
P.S. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. What is YOUR definition of an “awesome” social life? Comment down below. I’ll try to reply to as many comments as I can!
My definition of being awesome would simply be being able to share good emotions with the people around you. This goes much further than just being comfortable in social situations. When you are “awesome” the person/ people you are talking with will feel comfortable during conversation and ideally good in general throughout the interaction.
I think being awesome is having that ability to strike up a conversation with anyone and have it be meaningful. I am incredibly shy and introverted. My wife is the exact opposite. She can start a conversation with a stop sign and never think twice. There are so many times I wish I was like her. but then I realize she has to be social and can’t be alone with her thoughts. I would like to be a little like her but enjoy my alone time as well.
My idea of awesome social life is to have maybe three friends, can be myself with, go out and actually have a social life, instead of sitting here by myself, for another ten years. Struggle to find the right words, or anxiety gets too much. Shut down as don’t know what to say, or do. Awesome social life, not being alone anymore. Thank you David for a fabulous tips.
My definition of an awesome social life is one involving deep connections with people who you can fully be yourself around and also who you just really enjoy being around and talking to.
my version of a good social life would be Feeling like I belong with a group or multiple groups of people, Not being afraid to speak up Doing fun activities with close friends, and enjoying our common interests together whether in person or over the internet. Not being afraid to socialize in person or in real life and that I’m not just listening but also being listened to
Reply
I think an awesome social life is one where I can be confident to converse in various kinds of social situations. Especially around those situations or people that I’m intimidated by currently.
My definition of an awesome social life is having a meaningful, exciting relationship with the people you identify with and having the ability to be confident and authentic to those around you.
An ideal awesome social life for is when you are able to converse with strangers, and start making new friends without having to worry you might come off as creepy.
My dream of having a social life is to be more talkative to people and overcome my social anxiety. Meet new friends, and go outside more often rather than playing video game all day
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An awesome social life for me would include:
1. Getting over the anxiety of initiating conversations with new people.
2. Remaining more out of my head and actually living the moments rather than just being an Overthinker keeping all the things in head.
3. Making it come true that people actually like my company
4. Being able to make plans and head them instead of just being a person who agrees on everything.
I think my definition of an awesome social life is me hanging out with my friends and them teaching me their hobbies and both enjoy it.
Having a well-rounded social life can be a challenge for sure. Finding a group that is healthy and inclusive is hard, even when comprised of (separately) wonderful people. People get talked over. People get ignored. I especially felt that I was reaching out to thin air when it came to reciprocation.
I have since essentially, “given up” on these people. Setting standards I apply to myself to others set me up for big-time disappointment. Right now, having one or two good friends whom I can trust and be honest with would be awesome. But currently, as I work to find those people, I have chosen to take a step back and focus on other aspects of life that won’t give me emotional fatigue. It has been surprisingly liberating.
Still, friendship heartbreak is definitely something I’m struggling with right now. Nice to have a bit of positivity from an internet stranger.
-Seraph
How can I gain the confidence to go up to someone I really want to talk to but they talk to just about everyone else BUT me? How can I stand out in that crowd of people who want to talk to them?
An awesome social life to me would include:
– Feeling like I belong with a group or multiple groups of people
– Not being afraid to speak up for fear of being teased
– Doing fun activities and traveling with close friends
– Enjoying our common interests together whether in person or over the internet
– Not being afraid to socialize away from a computer or phone screen
Thanks for this David.
I love the good awkward…
I have no idea because I have never had one. I was shunned and shy throughout my school years and then in adulthood, I had a severely medically challenged child which basically took away any and all social events that may have blossomed.
being you and relaxed while talking with someone and enjoying it
David, you summed it up perfectly..my favorite point was taking a walk at night or anytime actually with a close friend and talking about life..you have an incredible ability to put down in words exactly what we need to read..have mentioned this before and it’s worth restating. Thank you again for your courage not only in saying but also in doing yourself what you have said..definitely look forward to your emails..they are memorable. Thank you,
Being the one whose presence and company is always desirable.
For me it is more about I can talk to people more confidently with whom I want to befriend
Being roaming around more freely rather than thinking about what others will think about me
Doing conversation with girls without feeling anxiety and with good convo’s
P.S:- I am so bad at talking and making good conversation
An awesome social life for me would include feeling comfortable to be myself, and the ability to have something to say to almost any topic so that I feel as though I’m participating rather than the usual “shy wall-flower” that I usually experience. If I don’t know about a topic being discussed, know the right kinds of questions so that I can learn and better participate.
For me, it’s being around people who get and understand me
My definition of an awesome social life would be to have at least 3 or 4 close friends who you can be vulnerable with. I would love to go to conventions, the mall, and other places with people that I would be close with.
To me, an awesome life is one where every aspect of one’s life dances to one’s rhythm.
One where impulses are overpowered by willpower and personal values! ????
To me, an awesome life is one where every aspect of a person dances to their rhythm.
In simple terms, one where you’re in full control of yourself.
To travel definitely, and to be/look at ease around strangers, and not fall over my words when I talk to people, also to appear confident.
Being able to freely socialise with everybody and not feeling like I’m being weird or awkward. Not being isolated and avoiding people because of my fear of them. Being happy and actually enjoying the people around me and being happy with myself because currently I don’t like myself.
i think awsome social life is when i get to be comfortable with who iam without basically looking for acceptances ,sometimes you cant be perfect all you can do is try to be better everyday,not because of anyone but yourself
As per my view awesome social life means
I want to be my self in front of everyone I don’t want to tell the people what they are want to listen but I want to tell them what I want to say.