A friend and I took a walk in Manhattan the other night.
We came across this guy who had brought his huge telescope to the street.
He had it pointed at the Moon. He let us watch, and the detail was AMAZING!
He had a phone mount on his telescopes, which meant that I could actually film the moon with my own phone!
Hereâs the clip I filmed:
https://socialpronow.vids.io/videos/489ad1bc1c13ea…
Isnât it mind-boggling that you can hear us talking on a street corner in NYC, but feel like youâre next to the moon?
Anyway,
On my way home I came to think about how easy it is to connect with someone if you have an interest to talk about.
As you hear in the clip there was no awkward silence and no small talk, because it was so easy to just talk on and on about his telescope and the moon.
When you meet over a mutual interest, itâs easy to start talking about the interest, and then build your friendship around it.
When you build your friendship around a mutual interest, you can use that interest as an âexcuseâ to interact and ultimately keep in touch over the years.
However, any interest wonât do. You canât build a friendship around a general interest. âYou and I both like movies, letâs watch a movie some dayâ – is weird to say to someone you barely know.
But saying this instead works better: âYou and I both like low budget horror movies from the seventies, letâs watch my extended cut of Jaws some day!â
The more specific the interest is, the better friends you will be
Iâve made most of my best friends through different interests. Iâve joined groups and meetups (I like meetup.com, and eventbrite.com is even better). Or, just kept my eyes and ears open for opportunities friends talked about or things Iâve come across randomly.
I look for meetups that match the following criteria:
- Is it something Iâm interested in?
- Is the meetup about a specific interest? (Mold-making rather than âNew in townâ-meetups. Magic the Gathering rather than wine tastings.)
- Meetups that are recurring. (You need to meet people on a regular basis to bond with them.)
But David, I donât have any specific interests!
This is a common misunderstanding. You don’t need to find your life passion. Anything that you find moderately interesting works great!
After all, itâs not really about the interest. Itâs about the fact that people who like the stuff you like probably have other things in common with you, too.
For example, if you like poetry, youâre more likely to find your best friends at a poetry meetup than at a rugby game meetup)
Weâre more likely to find friends we have things in common with if we look in the right places.
Have you met your best friends through your interests?
Iâm excited to hear your thoughts in the comments!
Its so true. Im going back through my life and see that all my closest friends emerged from these types of activities. However, I find my interests are so unrelated and all over the place that it puts ppeopel off getting to know me better. For instance I love travelling and sitting round fires with my horsedrawn mates but that doesnt sit well in the botany club and vica versa. I love dusty old academic libraries. The two dont mix. I feel folk become suspicious.