How to Get Past Boring Small Talk And Connect

How to be more interesting (if you don’t automatically get noticed)

How do you stand out and catch people’s interest if you’re not super charismatic or have an amazing life?

That’s what you learn in our course Invisible to Interesting.

This course is for you who…

  1. Feel like you aren’t interesting (and don’t automatically get noticed)
  2. Worry that you’ll bore or bother people
  3. Don’t know what to say, and because of that feel like you don’t have much of a personality
  4. Feel uncomfortable sharing about yourself
  5. Feel like you lack knowledge or experience, and don’t want to look stupid or like you don’t know stuff, so you avoid engaging in conversation
  6. Feel like you’re bragging when you do talk about your experiences

Click here to learn more about Invisible to Interesting.

411 Comments

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  1. Whenever I open up, I’m scared that people will find what I tell them boring. So I usually choose to stay quiet and listen to people. But when I do stay quiet, people start to ignore me and think that I can’t open up to them. They don’t approach me anymore. What should I do?

    Reply
      • It’s ok to just say be confident but for some, that’s not so simple. Being a good listener is always a good start I think.

    • That’s exactly how I feel. I feel like my life is wayyy too boring to talk about so I’d rather just stay quiet and listen. But then people stop talking to me because I’m too quiet. The thing is that I don’t know how to make my life sound interesting enough so that someone will actually want to talk and listen to me.

      Reply
    • I understand that, i’ve had that, and it can be an issue when you talk for too long about something you love but they don’t, i think the focus isn’t what you love to do though, it’s about how you feel about what you love to do

      Reply
    • Don’t be scared. I bet you have so much to share, and others would love to learn more about you. Certainly, you are an interesting person!

      Reply
  2. I want to get better at being concise and not going off on tangents trying to add in a bunch of extra background information. I sometimes find myself losing track of my original point and then feel foolish and stuck not remembering what I was trying to say.

    Reply
  3. I want to be able to say something in response that is funny. In conversations with people I always try my best to make a fun social impression but I always end up saying something so unrelated and stupid in an attempt to make people laugh. It makes me lose so much confidence because I really beat myself up over it. I wish I could say things that made people laugh, because I get a huge confidence boost when someone laughs at a joke I make or a story I tell.

    Reply
  4. I want to connect with people but sometimes I am afraid of rejection but other times it’s the exact opposite. Sometimes people seem to get clingy and I don’t like that either. I start feeling pressure.

    Reply
  5. Just listening to a 3 minute video made me feel more confident. I can’t wait to get out there and try what I’ve just learned! Thank you!

    Reply
  6. I’ve been so isolated and depressed when I do get around people it’s so hard to get the conversation started.
    You have some great ideas I’m going to try.

    Reply
  7. I’m looking for info for my 18 year old. He’s at school and can’t discuss work… it would be good to have something that targets this age too. Thank you, these insights are very clear and sensible.

    Reply
    • He could refer to his hobbies or responsibilities, things going on around, like politics… actually that might not be wise, depending on how well he can carry a cool discussion where he and the person he’s conversing with have different views

      Reply
  8. I’m looking for info for my 18 year old. He’s at school. Teens don’t work… it would be good to have something that targets this age too. Thank you, these insights are very clear and sensible.

    Reply
  9. That was good, I would like something like that with people of my age group of between 55 to 70 years old and female groups.

    Reply
    • I feel the same. You would think by the time you get to almost 79 you would know this stuff but I still want to learn how to socialise better. I am good at the small talk but I seem not able to keep close friends close for long. I must be boring then ….

      Reply
  10. I am definitely going to remind myself that things like this keep practice. For me, the most difficult thing is introducing this personal topic or asking this personal question without it seeming out of place. So asking how a person is related to the subject should help – I am quite excited to try it out.

    Reply
  11. Wow, I felt like you just shined a light on me. Thank you for sharing this and your blogs really help a lot. Thank you for not stuffing your readers faces with “buy my e-course” kinda stuff. Thank you for keeping it pure. ????

    Reply
  12. Such a great video there. That tells me i should learn how to get over the small talks, coz that’s exactly what happens when I meet a stranger. Thanks David

    Reply
  13. Such a great video there. That tells me i should learn how to get over the small talks, coz that’s exactly what happens when I meet a stranger. Thanks David

    Reply
  14. I want to improve on my confidence in meeting someone new and starting up a conversation.
    I want to stop overthinking everything and second guessing myself in other words stop being inside my head.

    Reply
  15. A lot of times I’ll flush red and look down when someone makes eye contact with me. I know that some people read this as attraction, but really I’m embarrassed at how bad I am at conversation.

    Reply
  16. i’m tryna get a girl to like me, we’re pretty close friends but in the last 6 months or so ive become quite awkward and have developed a bit of a stutter (i’m pretty sure i’m
    boring to talk to now as well) – probably due to the lockdowns. i’m pretty sure she used to like me but now another boy (who i’ll admit is hilarious and a social pro) is talking to her and i fear she’ll forget about me if i don’t fix the situation soon. someone help :/
    P.S. please don’t tell me to man up and ask her out it’s more complicated than that i just want help with my social skills and maintaining conversation lol

    Reply
  17. I’m going to try this. It’s true I always stick to safe non personal subjects as I feel I am a private person, but I can see how this limits getting to know others and how can you expect a friendship to grow if you won’t give some of yourself to it. It’s also helpful to knows others feel nervous like me, overthinking and feeling I’m not good enough… Thanks David

    Reply
  18. so im bad at reacting to peoples body language rather or not to approach him or her and start up a conversation i wanna improve on being able to approach a person and not come off as desperate

    Reply
  19. I really suck at making the conversation flow or even start a conversation with someone because my mind keeps shutting down and my social anxiety kicks in and I’m very very socially awkward person. I want to be fun to be with when someone’s talk to me and will never run out of things to say.

    Reply
  20. Maybe this is a self esteem thing but whenever I’m talking amongst a group of people, i feel boring or uninteresting compared to them which causes me to speak less because I always feel like “no one is listening” or “no one cares”

    Reply
  21. I love this. I feel there’s light at the end of the tunnel! It also helps to know I’m not the only one.
    Thank you????????

    Reply
    • This lads very good! but alot of what he says for anyone with an once of common sence is exactly that! common sence! im always aware of not dominateing any conversations and i try to listen to what others are saying, then next time you see them, you can pickup on what theyve previously told you. Just being aware! and trying to concentrate and retain some of what people are telling us, its very important. Alot of people are very shy too! this makes all these things even more challenging. It takes practice. Im a dog walker, i meet and take with lots of people every day! i used to be quite shy and insecure, but over time, ive gotton alot more self confident. Its good to talk, but its important to listen too.

      Reply
  22. In big group settings my anxiety really kicks in and I get so nervous I just shut down. We have a big friend group and when we all get together it can be hard to feel seen and heard. I get sweaty, heart beats fast, and very nervous about what I should say and how they will think of me after saying it. I would like to be better at being myself and not feeling so held down from my anxiety and fear of being made fun of.

    Reply
  23. I am okay with a single person but sometimes I have to go to places where there are 5-6 people who are also close friends and I find it hard to bond with them.

    Reply

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