How to be more interesting (if you don’t automatically get noticed)
How do you stand out and catch people’s interest if you’re not super charismatic or have an amazing life?
That’s what you learn in our course Invisible to Interesting.
This course is for you who…
- Feel like you aren’t interesting (and don’t automatically get noticed)
- Worry that you’ll bore or bother people
- Don’t know what to say, and because of that feel like you don’t have much of a personality
- Feel uncomfortable sharing about yourself
- Feel like you lack knowledge or experience, and don’t want to look stupid or like you don’t know stuff, so you avoid engaging in conversation
- Feel like you’re bragging when you do talk about your experiences
Hey David, thank you so much for all your support.
I want to ask you about something I always do : when I meet someone and feel confortable with them, if I want to be friend withe them I ask this question: <> Should I stop asking this question ??
Hey David thanks so much for all d support. U want to change not having enough topic to talk about. Goodnight.
Hi David,
Thank you very much for your advices, it has been very useful to me.
Claudio
Firstly I want to thank you David for your advice.
I experience a lot of awkward silence when with another person, however, only sometimes I know how to make small talk but it never ever develops into a conversation. It’s as if the other person isn’t really interested because I put them off.
I am keen to meet other people and have a lengthy conversation with them without feeling out of place.
On my approach to speaking to others I tend to pre judge them about pre judging me, and so I forget the idea of going to talk.
If I’m honest I come across as a nervous wreck and anticipate what’s going to happen and what they might think.
Hi David,
I am good at small talk, but I have problems taking it to the next step with some people. I have learnt some of your technique and will be using it. I learnt a lot form reading your web page.
Thanks
Paul
I’m great at deep conversations but when it comes to small talk I am very awkward
Sometimes with small talk, I can fluctuate between being overly eager to hear about someone, nod a lot, smile, jump from one topic to the next, feeling anxious, not spending enough time delving into things, and maybe come across as fast-paced and scattered (this can especially happen if I drink too much coffee).
Other times, often if I have a lot on my mind, I can feel a little tired, “checked out,” uninterested, and just give one-word responses, which I’m assuming could make me come across as kind of a jerk…
So there’s these two sides to me that don’t feel like a very consistent character.
I have a hard time motivating myself to get into that social mindset sometimes because I feel like I am consumed with myself. I think I feel consumed with myself because I am not satisfied with my character– I know I can do better. I’m a little embarrassed about who I am as a person to be honest. Sometimes I get consumed with my own personal issues! There is some depression mixed in there too, and if I feel depressed, I will sometimes be very avoidant of social situations.
I want to work on these things, and I find your advice helpful. Thank you.
I usually shy away from small talks at work especially because I usually end up over sharing about myself to fill in the silence. If I ask questions, usually get short or one word answers.
I would also like to learn how to best respond or react to hostile work colleagues.
I really enjoy learning your techniques on how to be more social. I would like to learn the best way to respond to someone at work that is demeaning and condescending.
Thanks for the social help. I always felt forgotten and uncared for. Now I am more confident in my social life.
Thanks for these very helpful tips on asking people questions to helping to get to know others .
Hi David, greetings.
I would like to learn how to not sabotage my successes. I usually don’t believe in myself even when am doing great in a conversation. A feeling inside me will just make me stop being awesome when I try to narrate an incident, I always freeze and stop early.
So I can talk to someone for a few mins to make them comfortable and open up. They will keep talking because I show great interest in whatever they are saying but when I try to talk back and tell a story story they get bored and I immidately sense it and we go into awkward silence. I hate this because my glory is short lived except in a case where the other person talk a lot and I just listen and show interest.
So I need to learn how to truly be comfortable around people. Truth being told I live being alone. That’s when I feel 100% confident and have lots of ideas come into my mind. I need to transfer my awesomeness when alone to when around people.
This is because I always feel like an imposter marking people feeling I like being around them and a good listener but truly I love my space.
How can I break out of this habit?
I want to know what to say back to someone I don’t really talk to without sounding like a loser.
I want good and interesting conversations. I want that I and also the other person both have a good time. I want to learn something about them and even have more friendships rising out of it. The most important thing that annoys me, is that quite often, especially with virtual chats like whatsapp, conversations just happen to end from the other side. They just don’t answer me anymore. Having like a good ending our outro would make a difference for me. Something like, alright, gotta go know. Cya. I just feel annoyed about that. The rest is just getting better overall with convos and I think I have already improved drastically.
I m scared to sound boring even though I know I’m not, I’m a funny person but these days people seem sensitive about everything they take everything seriously and “having fun “ for them is laughing at other people look or body.wich I don’t like cause I Still do have a savage hormonal acne that cover up all my face so I know how it feels like to get laughed at .i never showed my feelings to others that’s why sometimes people think that i am mean and they don’t want to talk to me .but I think that they don’t make make a difference between someone who has a strong personality and someone who is mean.
I’ve never thought about it like this before!
When you gave the first ‘how was your weekend’ example, that’s often where it hangs when I meet new people but this really opens up a whole new world of possibilities.
I’ll definitely be thinking about this often, and hope to try it out sometime along with all the new things I’ll be learning!
Thank you!
Hey guys,
First I want to thank David for being so willing to help people!
Second, I wanted to share my biggest social insecurity; I too often walk away from conversations worried that I said the wrong things or that my friends or acquaintances will think badly about me. I’m becoming great friends with someone I go to college with but almost every time I say goodbye to him, all I can think about is the things I might’ve done wrong.
I just wanted to thank you so much! Your emails and videos have not only gotten me out of my comfort zone but have given me the strength to keep conversations going and building real relationships. I was extremely timid and shy, and because of this I was trapped in anxiety and people always thought I didn’t want to be around them. After some practice, the conversations maybe awkward at first because your not comfortable yet but trust the process and keep going you got this! I also recommend the book The Charisma Myth. Thank you again!
Thank you so much, I’m a web developer, and if you notice people like me are not social at all sometimes, now I can have the courage to make that conversation with people.
I greatly appreciate all the videos you put out, and I am trying to put them to use. I really would like to learn more about getting around awkward silence I don’t have many interests to fall back on.
Very interesting, i like it.
I want to thank you for your emails David. I have found that random strangers will talk to me on the bus or train and tell me their life story. But I in my everyday life I have trouble making small talk and asking the right questions. My questions are either too awkward or strong, or too shallow. I would like to improve on this because if I can get someone to open up and start talking they will open up to me.
Thank you for this . I enjoyed the actual conversation example . That helped me so much .
Hi David,
I moved to new country to join my partner two years ago and I haven’t met many friends.
I know I did many things wrong but I was also struggling with mental health so it wasn’t easy journey for me.
My therapist suggested I should step out of my shell and open up a little more.
My problem is that I am a good listener. I know how to get closer to people, make them comfortable and ask personal questions. What happen next is that same people like me and want me around but often I don’t get the same attention from them. It’s like the other side gets addicted on attention I give them and they don’t even give me time and space to express myself.
Everyone wants to feel valued and get some attention and I don’t get that. That’s why I loose interest.
Is there any method to deal with this kind of relationships?
Thank you 🙂
Great advice for making conversation more personal , but I first need to get the conversation going at all. I’m a very nice person, I think I look okay like My clothes are in style enough and I present myself well appearance-wise, but so socially awkward that people steer clear of me. (I may be imagining this sometimes).
Two things that I need to work on so that they don’t avoid me :
1) Voice modulation. I am so excited to talk , that I talk really loud. Especially at a loud event. But I talk unnecessarily loud. I also have trouble focusing because I’m nervous so I don’t know what they said.
2) Dignity. If I act so excited that they are talking to me , they might think I’m nuts. I need to calma down.
Any advice to remember to relax / get myself to relax and focus ?
I want to learn to be more open about myself and not be afraid of what the other person thinks about it and not be afraid of making mistakes.
I also want to learn to be more interested in what the other person has to say. usually when someone tells me something, I only respond with ‘ok’, because I don’t really care.
I am also extremely shy, I say almost nothing. I am sometimes too scared to say hello. It gets very busy in my head and I can’t think logically anymore.
I’m not shy with my family, I’m just myself there
hello guys, as for me im not that good at socializing to such an extent that many people especially at my school really take me to be antisocial person and some are even afraid to approach me because they say im always quiet and serious. It really sucks guys coz i m interested in talking but the problem is im choosy of the people i would like to talk to.
i really want to improve on being antisocial into being social and less serious coz its giving a hard time at school
hello guys, as for me im not that good at socializing to such an extent that many people especially at my school really take me to be antisocial person and some are even afraid to approach me because they say im always quiet and serious. It really sucks guys coz i m interested in talking but the problem is im choosy of the people i would like to talk to.
i really want to improve on being antisocial into being social and less serious coz its giving a hard time at school
I feel like in person is alot more likely to create a bond than over the internet though
I do this as well and i need to stop.
I would like to not over think during a conversation. Saying what is on my mind without saying something embarrassing or that will cause me to replay what I said over and over after the encounter is over. I would like to be more in the moment and be able to really hear what the others are saying. I have a way of either not saying anything or going overboard saying too much.