How to Get Past Boring Small Talk And Connect

How to be more interesting (if you don’t automatically get noticed)

How do you stand out and catch people’s interest if you’re not super charismatic or have an amazing life?

That’s what you learn in our course Invisible to Interesting.

This course is for you who…

  1. Feel like you aren’t interesting (and don’t automatically get noticed)
  2. Worry that you’ll bore or bother people
  3. Don’t know what to say, and because of that feel like you don’t have much of a personality
  4. Feel uncomfortable sharing about yourself
  5. Feel like you lack knowledge or experience, and don’t want to look stupid or like you don’t know stuff, so you avoid engaging in conversation
  6. Feel like you’re bragging when you do talk about your experiences

Click here to learn more about Invisible to Interesting.

411 Comments

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  1. Hey David!
    I really like the way you explain everything.
    I am introvert person. And i have the same problems like I don’t know how to keep the conversation going and even if i like that person, I Have difficulty in making deep connnections with them. I want to work on my self.
    Some times i go blank while talking to a person, like i don’t understand what to say next. I feel empty at that time which leads to awkward silence.
    I don’t have self confidence, i feel everything i say is either dumb or funny. I feel shy speaking about my thing.
    So, people consider me boring because i dont speak and i have nothing exciting to share.
    Sorry, i have so many problems. 😀
    I am a very funny person from inside. But these small problems affect a lot to be honest.
    I want to be like others. “Extrovert and fun loving”.

    Reply
  2. Hey David!
    I really like the way you explain everything.
    I am introvert person. And i have the same problems like I don’t know how to keep the conversation going and even if i like that person, I Have difficulty in making deep connnections with them. I want to work on my self.
    Some times i go blank while talking to a person, like i don’t understand what to say next. I feel empty at that time which leads to awkward silence.
    I don’t have self confidence, i feel everything i say is either dumb or funny. I feel shy speaking about my thing.
    So, people consider me boring because i dont speak and i have nothing exciting to share.
    Sorry, i have so many problems. 😀
    I am a very funny person from inside. But these small problems affect a lot to be honest.
    I want to be like others. “Extrovert and fun loving”.

    Reply
  3. This is eye opening. Thanks David. It’s interesting that asking about someone’s relationships to ideas helps one to build actual relationship with the person you’re talking to. Something I’d definitely practice! Thanks a million!

    Reply
  4. This is eye opening. Thanks David. It’s interesting that asking about someone’s relationships to ideas helps one to build actual relationship with the person you’re talking to. Something I’d definitely practice! Thanks a million!

    Reply
  5. That’s a tough one, I feel with you Tia.

    What kind of situation is it you’re thinking about? Is it like a new class where you don’t know anyone or more of a party where you got some acquaintances?

    Reply
  6. Loud and chaotic group conversations can be really hard to get into. Normal social rules like letting everyone speak their mind and not interrupting does not always apply, it’s more about enjoying the energy and feel of the conversation. We sometimes have to accept that a group conversation can never be as deep and intellectually stimulating as a one on one. So try taking it more for what it is and just have fun with your friends, don’t be afraid to interrupt from time to time if you have something fun to say.

    To relax more and actually find something to say, try focusing more on the conversation and what the other people are saying, instead of trying to come up with something to say. Ironically, that usually helps in coming up with what to say.

    Reply
  7. I want to be heard when I speak in a group conversation. I feel like I’m invisible! I don’t know if I’m not loud enough (many of my friends are REALLY loud!), or just plain boring and they dismiss whatever I have to say, or just so self-absorbed that they don’t care what I have to say and just want to keep talking about themselves endlessly. Any ideas??? Thanks!

    Reply
  8. I want to be heard when I speak in a group conversation. I feel like I’m invisible! I don’t know if I’m not loud enough (many of my friends are REALLY loud!), or just plain boring and they dismiss whatever I have to say, or just so self-absorbed that they don’t care what I have to say and just want to keep talking about themselves endlessly. Any ideas??? Thanks!

    Reply
  9. I rlly need new friends but I really don’t know how to approach strangers specially when i’m in a room with groups of friends talking together , I feel so lonely. 🙁

    Reply
  10. I rlly need new friends but I really don’t know how to approach strangers specially when i’m in a room with groups of friends talking together , I feel so lonely. 🙁

    Reply
  11. I want to improve my cordial intercourse. I have not spent time with someone after school for over two years. I really need your help!

    Reply
  12. I want to improve my cordial intercourse. I have not spent time with someone after school for over two years. I really need your help!

    Reply
    • Be curious don’t be superficial. If you approach a stranger start with “are you from around here?” Now be prepared with a second and third question as a follow up. Like if they say I just moved here, you can ask where they lived before and why they moved. Be curious about people and ask slightly personal questions. You can even precede the questions by saying “hope you don’t mind me asking”

      Reply
  13. I feel like Andrei, I don’t want to talk about my personal life because every inch of it makes me sad. And I don’t want to make other people depressed while talking to me. So I pretend to be happy and superficial. Maybe ask strangers for personal advice? Talk about dreams and hopes for the future?

    Reply
  14. I feel like Andrei, I don’t want to talk about my personal life because every inch of it makes me sad. And I don’t want to make other people depressed while talking to me. So I pretend to be happy and superficial. Maybe ask strangers for personal advice? Talk about dreams and hopes for the future?

    Reply
  15. I am afraid about revealing facs about myself that I am not proud of. What I am saying is that I am not comfortable with where I am in my life right now, therefore I have trouble being personal with people. Yet I do desire closeness.

    Reply
  16. I am afraid about revealing facs about myself that I am not proud of. What I am saying is that I am not comfortable with where I am in my life right now, therefore I have trouble being personal with people. Yet I do desire closeness.

    Reply
  17. Hi
    I’m 47 and for a long time now I’ve got really really panicky when it comes to even meeting friends, and even ones I’ve known a long time . Going for an interview , basically I panic and worry about what to say, and would love to be able to find chat Easy and not worry or panic . And to stop being Soo nervous about it .. I have to push myself sooo hard to do things .. It’s making my life hard

    Reply
  18. Hi
    I’m 47 and for a long time now I’ve got really really panicky when it comes to even meeting friends, and even ones I’ve known a long time . Going for an interview , basically I panic and worry about what to say, and would love to be able to find chat Easy and not worry or panic . And to stop being Soo nervous about it .. I have to push myself sooo hard to do things .. It’s making my life hard

    Reply
  19. I want to improve my social skills, I feel I can meet new people but I cannot connect with them, so finally it end up in a superficial relationship and even when I meet people I feel lonely.

    Reply
  20. I want to improve my social skills, I feel I can meet new people but I cannot connect with them, so finally it end up in a superficial relationship and even when I meet people I feel lonely.

    Reply
  21. Hi Vivian, that’s something many others have struggled with as well and then made great progress. Check out the coming emails, I think you’re going to find them helpful 🙂
    David

    Reply
  22. I feel I can be awkward to talk to in new situations and I wanted to see how to do it in a way that makes me and them comfortable.

    Reply
  23. I feel I can be awkward to talk to in new situations and I wanted to see how to do it in a way that makes me and them comfortable.

    Reply
    • Hi Vivian, that’s something many others have struggled with as well and then made great progress. Check out the coming emails, I think you’re going to find them helpful 🙂
      David

      Reply

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