Estuardo’s Journey From Loneliness to a Rich Social Life

estuardo

Estuardo always struggled with low self-esteem.  Now he’s confident enough to find the friendships that he truly wants

Estuardo was very shy. It was difficult for him to make true friends; relationships with people he cares about who also care about him too.

Now, he has the confidence and skills he needs to make these connections.

How would you describe yourself in a few sentences?

I’m very intelligent and like to learn a lot. I’m passionate about the whole personal development area, specifically coaching and NLP which I’m currently studying in a local NLP school. I want to have a sense of belonging but somehow it’s been so difficult to find a group where I can have that feeling.

Estuardo tells us about some of his social challenges

I was always needy. But thanks to my reading habits I found self-help books that led me to the personal development field. So I started to learn about myself, my type of personality, my values as an individual and how knowing myself better is the foundation for any good relationships.

“I’ve gained a lot of confidence as a result of reading your free material sent by email”

I’ve taken around 3-5 quizzes, can’t recall exactly how many, but I’ve paid for quizzes like the Keirsey temperament sorter to know and appreciate myself better. To learn in which environments I would work better and under what conditions I’ll naturally flow in achieving my goals.

I’ve also had problems with motivation. I wasn’t motivated to interact with people because I got depressed. 🙁
By reading and learning about cognitive distortions and limiting beliefs I was able to change the ones that were hindering me in becoming a social person.

In what ways have you improved so far?

I’ve gained a lot of confidence as a result of reading your free material sent by email, which is what I really want, to have confidence in -ANY – social situation and be able to dominate this particular area of my life.

One of your emails that contained one video precisely about cues when initiating conversation within a group was fascinating for me.

Estuardo’s new skills

  • Confidence. Knowing that I’m capable of handling my feelings especially the negative ones which at some point were a huge barrier for me to establish good relationships with others.
  • Peace of mind. Knowing that I have myself and the belief that if I’m true to myself.
  • Hope. Hope about finding my path and be helpful to others in some way.

What it was like making friends – now and then

Before I would get all anxious when being in the cafeteria with no one to talk to. I would stay terrified about the silence and feel all bad because i “didn’t make” any friends.

Now in the same situation, I don’t panic. I make a comment: Something about the person, clothes, accessories, etc. And upon their response, I then go on speaking more about them until I create some rapport.

What advice would you give to someone who’s just starting off?

Become an avid reader and do whatever is within your reach in order to find your true passion and calling and then never stop believing that is possible to find your path and make your dreams come true. 😉

What do you like the most about your social life today?

The hope and confidence that I’m expanding myself by getting to know my contacts and knowing that I can make a difference in people’s lives just by connecting with them and sharing what I am.

Success Stories

We asked some of our members to share how SocialSelf has helped them become more socially savvy. Here are their stories. Some names have been changed.

Bianca

Bianca Gelli, Brazil

"[...] you know, little did I know that it isn’t about having an endless list of things to say, but about being genuinely interested in hearing from the other person and finding mutual interests. That’s so much more profound than I thought when I dreamed of a silver bullet to solve my conversation dead ends.

David’s course is DEFINITELY NOT a band-aid, it is a cure, for whatever social discomfort you have.

From this life, we don’t take away material things, only the good relationships we’ve had. Also, if you think that you can’t find friends that are like you, I guarantee you they are out there, you’ll find them with the help of this course."

Read Bianca's full story here

William

William lives in Irvine, California where he studies International Commerce

"I always felt I was a good guy, well-intentioned and nice. However, sometimes life and people were kind of stepping over me. I didn't have a lot of girls and social success.

Now I'm outgoing, social, and generally easy to talk to. What I learned is that change is possible!"

Read William's full story here

Rakesh

Rakesh, 20, is an engineering student in India

[...] one thing it has done is completely eliminated awkward moments. And because I’m not putting on a mask, it’s not at all tiring.

In fact, I look forward to more interactions. I’ve even started a brotherhood group so that I can meet new people and forge healthy relationships.

Read Rakesh's full story here

Rachel

Rachel, 25, works in IT-support in Australia

"The way you teach and your methods have helped me so much. I have been implementing your ideas, and it has changed my life in such a positive way.

I have been genuinely interesting myself in others and it makes others feel cared about, and in turn, that makes me feel good!"

Theodor

Theodor from Norway studies History at the University of Oslo

"When I started at university last year, I already knew that I would need to make friends fast, because if not, everyone would start forming groups while I stood outside. The problem was that I wasn’t included, even though I walked around with them and went to every social event during that first ‘buddy week’. I decided that I needed better social skills because the way things always seemed to end was heartbreaking. I felt that no one I met wanted to include me, and I didn’t understand why. The only way to understand it and fix it is to gain access to their groups, and the only way to do that would be to improve my social skills.

During the program, Theodor got more confident and began realizing that others don’t have a strict plan of in which direction they want the conversation to go. That is one thing that has helped him dare to speak more."

Read Theodor's full story here

Claire

Claire, 33, is from UK and currently lives and works in the Netherlands

"I realized when I found your course that it’s not only I who feel self-conscious in social situations but most people feel that way. It was the feeling that there's actually nothing wrong with me that's made the difference. That helped me to start to forget the painful things that harmed my confidence in the past.

Before Christmas, I went to the birthday party of a friend and as a result, I got invited to someone’s dinner party after chatting for some time with someone who seemed to really like me and said that I was fun!"

Read Claire's full story here

Estuardo

Estuardo Paz, 29, works as a data processor for a U.S. media company

"Before I feel all bad because I didn't make any friends. I wasn’t motivated to interact with people because I got depressed. Now I don't panic and can go on speaking until I create rapport.

Now I know that I can make a difference in people’s lives just by connecting with them and sharing what I am."

Read Estuardo's full story here

Anonymous

Richard, 29, is a mechanical engineer from Portugal

"I've read several things about improving social skills and most, by far, are very general, vague tips.

I have to congratulate you and Viktor. Some of the things you teach give what I call "aha moments" or "make me see the matrix". It's those bits of knowledge so well thought of that make you connect the dots."

Read Richard's full story here

Anne

Kaitlind lives and studies in Corona, California

"I've been homeschooled, so I didn't have very much social experience and I wasn't very good at making friends. I hardly had any friends. Almost a year ago, I started going to my church's huge youth group. As you can imagine, from my background, I got off to a bad start."

"Your concept of slowly going out of my comfort zone has really helped. I have more friends at my youth group than I thought I was capable of making."

Anonymous

Rebecca

"I find that people make an effort to talk to me now and ask me how I’m doing. I know that friendships take years to build, but this course definitely is putting me on the fast-track to do so. I now find small-talk with strangers, and bonding 1-on-1, to be effortless. There is a great improvement in group conversations as well.

This course is amazing and I 10/10 recommend it for anyone who has EVER been at a loss at what to say when conversing. This course holds all these social skills so many of us seem to just be missing. Thank you so much, David! Your product has revolutionized not only my social life but my life in general. Because life is about the connections and relationships you have, and now I know how to have some."

Read Rebecca's full story here