How to Turn People into Close Friends by Opening Up

This is a new video I just recorded. I’d LOVE to hear what you think in the comments below!



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  1. Things are always moving and I always have a hard time slowing down and not letting the pressure get to me, I’m learning now through time and patience, with myself and others that it’s possible, 1 piece of the puzzle, at a time, not all at once, is better.
    All I can do is the best I can do

  2. Thank you very much David, your video was helpful.

    Can you give me your feedback on a friendship my husband and I have with this couple?

    This happens every time we go out to eat; she and we are chatting back and forth, when suddenly, in the midst of our conversation, she turns her attention to the conversation my husband is having with her husband and totally ignores me.

    I have tried to blow it off many times, but this last time, I was furious, my husband noticed this time exactly what happened, but didn’t have an answer! My thoughts were, enough is enough; you are not a friend of mine. Can a person know when they are being out and out rude?

    I would appreciate your feedback David because I’m done with that so-called friendship.


  3. I think I will spend some time looking at more of your videos because they really caught my attention and I think this could help me.

    I’m really good to sympathize with people, and I always had, in all the schools I went to, a group of friends to hang out with at school, or even parties. I try to be nice to everyone and avoid conflicts as much as possible, I guess that’s why people tend to like me at “Level 1 of friendship”.
    But I realized that I don’t have any close friends, whether it be IRL or distant. During the time I have a group of friends, I don’t get as close to creating a bond with them, and when we part ways after a few months, years, I lose contact with all of them, because I didn’t create any bond, despite the time spent together.

    I’ve always had the struggle to open up to people. When I’m with friends in real life, I’m both a good listener and talker, but when I talk it’s mostly about “irrelevant” topics and I never try to dig deeper with people. When I’m not with friends IRL, I’d like to send messages sometimes, but I never know what to say and am afraid to be awkward, so I barely converse by text unless people launch a conversation.

    I’ve watched a few of your videos and I can already start to identify the problems and possible ways to solve this, such as forcing myself to open up more but not too much directly, trying to get the conversations progressively more personal, etc.

    Thank you for sharing your good advice, ill do my best to apply them to my case.
    If anyone’s reading this, I wish you a great day/evening/night!

  4. My problem is not listening and asking questions and even feel what others feel. As a caretaker I feel at home by giving attention. But I have trouble with including myself and my needs and my issues. I somehow meet people who are not very interested in listening, they like to be the talkers… I am an extrovert by nature but somehow turned into a listener.. because I wanted closer relationships but they don’t happen as people are too busy talking and taking time and space. So my dilemma is either to continue being an extrovert and a pleaser with a lot of people around but not having close friends or to listen to selfish power struggle Takers and be excluded from a conversation. The thing with extroverts is that even though we can have a lot of people around us we are actually never understood or truly close to others; I sometimes think that we are ashamed of receiving a genuine attention. And that we need to be liked so we would never say things that would make others bored etc. We have too much energy and sometimes people get offended or disturbed by our action;).. we always want fun and new experience and not many people are as adventures:.
    I wonder how to balance this genuine give/take dance between two people; you know where you can be yourself and others enjoy being themselves in a relaxed and free environment..

    • You can try just listening to the other person when they really want to talk about something, and when they seem tired of talking then you can talk.

      • I always overthink social situations, work environments, anything really.. I’m positive with time I’ll be just fine, and those who join me, will

    • This is also one of my biggest problems. This is on my mind WAY more than I want it to be but I don’t speak about this at all to anyone, which I know is bad and is why I’m doing this now. Lately it’s been becoming more and more of a problem in my daily life. Not only is it in my head how I should feel and act about a certain topic someone’s talking about, but I also feel like I’ve lost the ability of what to say and how to comfortably say and react to the things my friends say and do.

      I’m an 18 year old in my freshman year of college and am a big believer in having a strong and comfortable mindset to live a best life, so this problem has been very apparent and is becoming harder and harder to shake off until it’s resolved. For the past 6 or 7 years I haven’t been the best at coming up with the words to express my view on things fully and it makes me seem like an idiot most of the time. When this first started happening I began trying to be someone I wasn’t by doing things other people thought were cool, saying things other people would say, and after a while this would just become an unconscious bad habit, but it kept me somewhat happy for a while. Until it became apparent to me through watching videos of myself and my brother telling me time and time again…I was awkward because none of the things I was saying were authentic, and it showed. The only good that came out of this was that I learned to listen to people very well and let other people talk so I wouldn’t embarrass myself. I’m always told that I’m a really good listener and that people always feel comfortable telling me things. I’ve grown to appreciate this ability of mine, but recently I’ve realized in every interaction I am never fully comfortable myself and am always thinking about how I should react based on how I’ve seen other people react to similar situations or what I should even say. This isn’t allowing me to live in the moment and makes it hard to remember or have a connection with certain situations.

      Through online personality tests, I’ve been told that I am slightly introverted, but I know that’s not ME. I just want to be able to release my hidden authentic self and not judge myself internally so much while doing so. It’s effecting my ability to grow closer relationships with family, friends and important idols of mine. I’ve been trying A LOT of ways to do this, but they’ve all been ineffective and are only making me think more deeply about myself every time.

      The main thing I’m hoping to get out of this is to just be able to feel somewhat of the raw emotions I felt when I was a kid whenever I talked with people and feel a connection. I’m not sure if you or anybody really knows what I’m talking about, but if anyone’s got advice or criticism I’d be happy to hear about it!

    • I hear you Alexandra and I completely understand and agree with your statement,
      People who see us listening to them are going to always be the talking person. Its more of an Ego centric society Everyone wants to be heard But no one cares about you and i when it comes to closer freindships.
      Its really making me sad how selfish people are in this F’d up world.

  5. Thank you thank you i get it now. I should Talk about something generally people love and common do, even if i feel nervous I can maybe open up a little and say something like ( I feel nervous right now just by remembering it ) the dinner with this girl or any experience I had that I’m sharing it with the person in front of me.
    Make sense?! Did I put it right?

  6. Very useful to me. I seriously would like to follow positivity, attentiveness and coordination in my conversations.


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