How to Get Past Boring Small Talk And Connect

How to be more interesting (if you don’t automatically get noticed)

How do you stand out and catch people’s interest if you’re not super charismatic or have an amazing life?

That’s what you learn in our course Invisible to Interesting.

This course is for you who…

  1. Feel like you aren’t interesting (and don’t automatically get noticed)
  2. Worry that you’ll bore or bother people
  3. Don’t know what to say, and because of that feel like you don’t have much of a personality
  4. Feel uncomfortable sharing about yourself
  5. Feel like you lack knowledge or experience, and don’t want to look stupid or like you don’t know stuff, so you avoid engaging in conversation
  6. Feel like you’re bragging when you do talk about your experiences

Click here to learn more about Invisible to Interesting.

411 Comments

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  1. Such fantastic tips and advice – thank you! I do have a question, though. I have a friend who is a Spiritual Director and he speaks so warmly with everyone he talks to. How can I develop that? Most of my life, I’ve lived in ‘self-protection’ mode and I haven’t really cared to converse with people on a deeper level. But, I DO care now – how can I add warmth to my conversations?
    Thank you so much.

    Reply
  2. Great take aways! Since I am a researcher within the social sciences I would love to know the study you mentioned with the 45min questionerre to bond.

    Reply
  3. An old friend and I caught up with each other after a year and a half of not talking. I decided to try to test this method out in the conversation, and we actually had a long talk with eachother. We got sentimental at one point, and it actually felt pretty good.

    Reply
  4. I have been social anxiety for a long time. I can never stop feeling awkward and opening up about wrong things. I am used to tell to people about too personal things. Which i felt dumb afterwards. What is your advice for my situation

    Reply
  5. Thanks here so much for your help with this way and give it for me some lines to define the subject for a reason to give support and be with us a proche as be defined a time getting the sheet and doc when can his rights to appear.

    Reply
  6. Hi there,
    to day to get a friend is the ray the friend only in the first if you like to got the largest world about how can all are here interested to be the subject give it the friend forever in the large time.

    To appear near some need if the time to when any more Ways and rules to got up.

    The time is the first the talking in the customers and to talking about the Ways and give the end the importance name gotten for his self the Night as the best large traveling to stay and spoke about what can need another tomorrow not Wath can need all are here be the friend.

    A friend can get the liberty and free time only some times and can give you the large hard works to do it, but not doing it is the best way to get all your friends around to give it for him the hi tomorrow.

    Reply
  7. wow, it is includable, Sir the video has taught us not to stop on small talk only. This is why have been always failing in connecting to others.

    Reply
  8. How do I make friends with people at school if I’ve never really talked to them and I think I give up snobbish vibes. That’s the one thing stopping me.

    Reply
  9. Well, the area I have a problem with when initiating conversations is that I run out of things to say or I don’t know I get nervous and there goes the awkward silence. Especially meeting new people.

    Reply
  10. I am overjoyed that I stumbled across this website! I have struggled with social interactions since middle school and have thus experienced a distressing lack of friendships. As a result of your work here, I feel more confident while engaging in conversation.

    Many thanks,
    Nina

    Reply
  11. Hi,
    thank you for a great video. I know I am great at 1:1 conversations. But whenever it is more than 1 person in a room (dinner with 3 friends, party with 8 people or so) I become silent. The main reason I think is people interrupt sentences of each other but do that naturally and don’t even mind that. I am on another side, waiting kindly for the pause to be able to start talking. But as pause never happens, i am never able to join the conversation and then the topic turns to another topic, and its too late to say what I was wanted to say. How to be part of the discussion?

    Reply
  12. Thank you for this inspiring advice… I’m soo tired of feeling like an alien… I’m already putting it into action and I believe it’s gonna have a major impact.
    Thanks, David

    Reply
  13. Well…I suck at giving replies and the other person feels I’m bored when I’m actually not but can’t come up with a good/funny reply. (Mostly with my friends)

    Reply
  14. What I’d like to improve:
    – Not having a monotone voice.
    – Better listening, and remembering, not interrupting.
    – Speaking more eloquently.
    – Telling stories in a more compelling manner.

    Reply
  15. That is really good advice! I’m going to a party on Friday with some friends from school, and most of them, I haven’t seen all summer, so I’m gonna try this method, and let’s hope people don’t think I’m weird or not social!

    Reply
  16. Hi
    Whenever I’m talking with one person or with a few people, I don’t stop thinking about where to look, and I barely focus on the conversation.
    My best conversations are over the phone, then I have no problem talking to anyone even for lengthy conversations.

    Reply
  17. What I would like to get better when it comes to making conversation is establishing a connection with whomever I’m talking to.

    Reply

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