How to Get Past Boring Small Talk And Connect

How to be more interesting (if you don’t automatically get noticed)

How do you stand out and catch people’s interest if you’re not super charismatic or have an amazing life?

That’s what you learn in our course Invisible to Interesting.

This course is for you who…

  1. Feel like you aren’t interesting (and don’t automatically get noticed)
  2. Worry that you’ll bore or bother people
  3. Don’t know what to say, and because of that feel like you don’t have much of a personality
  4. Feel uncomfortable sharing about yourself
  5. Feel like you lack knowledge or experience, and don’t want to look stupid or like you don’t know stuff, so you avoid engaging in conversation
  6. Feel like you’re bragging when you do talk about your experiences

Click here to learn more about Invisible to Interesting.

408 Comments

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  1. I want to be able to think of things to say that will interest people in talking to me. I do not like one-sided conversations where I had to do all the talking and I’d feel like a fake.

    Reply
  2. Hi,

    I would like to have longer conversations than a few minutes without the need of thinking that I will run out of topics or things to say. Just the idea of ending the conversation creates a bad feeling (sometimes a bit anxious). I can’t stop to put a kind of smiley face just so that I look kind and not just stupid and boring.
    1 to 1 meetings are the worst ones since it is much more difficult to “hide”.

    Thanks!

    Reply
  3. I love socialization and connections are part of my chosen studies. Most of you are unaware of whom I am with OU. I had spent 10 good years with OU and its studies still would like to finish and finalized my grade with OU. I may not be interested in any activities other than focusing on my studies to achieve my goal, due to too many activities on my side to make ends meet while studying.
    Thanks for allowing me space as a fellow student.
    Mary Oparaocha.

    Reply
  4. I can’t make a two minutes speech in a conversation, I run out of breathe, i feel my voice is not likeable. I feel this personality has made grow up without confidence.

    Reply
  5. I have observed people open up once I tell some personal things to them too. The hardest part for me is to come up with personal things to tell them. My mind goes very blank, but I think it’s because of my lack of experience in social settings, though I went to school for all those years. [It was tough there too].
    By giving people a piece of you, you are showing them that you have a personality too and that makes you ‘interesting’ to them.
    I believe the best friendships are not immediately formed but get deeper and deeper over time. Do correct me with your views if you have some.

    Reply
  6. I’d like to become better in handling a conversation with out panicking. Being able to give precise and instant answers. Asking relevant questions such that the next person is not bored.

    Reply
  7. I like the idea behind this video. It creates a kind of picture in our minds. I have been a victim of small boring talks..will try this style of communication in future for sure????

    Reply
  8. I’m from Honduras and want to share that we, in Latin America, are prone to be more personal in conversations. My experience in US is that people feel a little, or hugely, uncomfortable when someone is getting “closer” in a conversation. It’s a normal behavior in our culture to be like that almost immediately. Now I’m aware that different cultures need to understand this key factor.

    Reply
  9. How can someone so young be so wise????
    When I got your email I thought you must be reading my mind. It was quite spooky but wonderful to know I am not alone in the way I feel

    Reply
  10. When you find yourself stuck in life, you need a friend to share your worries. Exchanging of thoughts gives you motivation for life. No matters, what is situation , you need someone to hear you and give you some advice.

    Reply
    • Sayed (you have a beautiful name). You give great insight! I’m so glad you made a comment because your words are spot on!
      I hope you are having a great day. Sincerely, sa

      Reply
  11. What would you like to be better at when it comes to making conversation?.

    I would like to be better at holding my exciting comment in the middle of someone’s else’s story .I get so into what they are saying I’m excited curious or confused. So commenting during etc…is so just second nature. I dislike it so badly.

    Reply
  12. This is very helpful! It helps to confirm what I’ve already learned, and will be great for transitioning from homeschool to private highschool this year!
    On a sidenote, what kind of food is being eaten here? I am from America, and it looks like it could be yogurt?

    Reply
  13. Wow David
    Thank you .
    That’s so simple, yet it gets to the crux of the matter. Easy to apply personally and a valuable one at that.

    Reply
  14. Hi david in answer to your q i wanted to tell i am very boring and quiet i want to be talkative and expresss my ideas and be interesting and fun to talk to

    Reply
  15. Yo David!

    Thanks for the great post! I feel like I can put this into practice. Very solid. Now for those 100 fails to get the win, right?

    In answer to your question, hmm. I’d like to know…how to socialize when you feel like crap, but still need to get out there. Either depressed, or angry, or ‘with an external locus of control’ attitude and so on. I confess I have a hard time hiding my emotions, which is great for authenticity, but also horrid for…inauthenticity, haha. I may just wall off emotionally, or come off as really fake. I’m sure you know the drill. I, for one, would be interested in a post covering that, and how to not hurt friendships, or even grow them, while in the pits.

    Hope that returns some value. I appreciate what you’ve shared. Stay solid man!

    Reply
  16. I think I open up too quickly. It’s because I don’t value small talk, but I also know it’s inappropriate to make friends your therapist. Never the less, I sometimes get to the deep or personal too quickly.
    It actually happened with a friend recently, and I’d love some advice on how to rewind/salvage the friendship.

    Reply
  17. I don’t really talk to people I just Listen to what they wanna talk about If they don’t say nothing than it silence

    Reply
  18. I have many friends that I haven’t really connected with on a deeper level. I have hard time getting personal with them because I feel that I might ask them too personal questions. I am trying to avoid rejection that might come after this. So I want to improve the ability to ask questions gradually and get rid of the fear of rejection.

    Reply
  19. I want to make a conversetion naturally. When i talk to a friend i feel like they will ignore me and think i am weird ,because in the past i barely talk or express my feeling/thinking.

    Reply
  20. It is so difficult to make real, true friends. People act like they are my friends until they no longer need me or they no longer want my advice, expertise or something from me. I am always there when they need something or when they need someone to talk to but once they get what they need from me they no longer want to talk, hang out or do anything together. They don’t want to hear about “my feelings”, “my problems”, or “my hang-ups”, or even “my achievements” and good things that are happening. Everything is always about them and when I try to express my feelings and emotions they are dismissed. So I stop trying to talk to them about things that I really need to talk about and just listen and talk about what they want to talk about. Eventually, our so called “friendship” dissolves.

    Reply
  21. I would like to get better at having a conversation not just a short one and not getting stuck in thinking what to say

    Reply
  22. I want to be able to turn conversations that the other person and I are not really I interested into ones that we are really interested in.

    Reply

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