How to Master Group Conversations

“I’m disabled from multiple traumatic brain injuries. These injuries have basically reset all my social skills and this created a lot of social worry. Not only have these courses retaught me about my social skills, they are superior to the regular skills you develop in most people regular everyday life. I perform better socially now than I did before my injuries.

In addition to taking your course, I’ve become a member of several groups on Meetup, which has expanded my social contacts tremendously. As a result of your courses I feel a lot more confident in these situations which have definitely helped me to meet new people that also like to participate in activities that I enjoy.

Before your course I was so worried, I wouldn’t even consider joining a group like this but your course has helped me to overcome this and I’m sure I will see continuing results as I meet more people and have more opportunities to apply the skills.”

“I signed up for the courses because SocialSelf’s website was correct in explaining how going on expensive trips and other material things do not make you interesting, but how you engage with the other person does. It was backed with a generous 60-day money-back guarantee, so I felt comfortable purchasing all the classes.

Being extremely introverted, I assumed that others were comfortable socializing, not realizing that they may also struggle with talking to strangers, and find initiating conversations awkward, especially since I always see everyone grouped together in conversation. This made me much more comfortable with putting myself out there in marketing and networking, and I love the advice to be the one who’s extroverted! Great example of faking it until making it!

David normalized how I was feeling and very kind in empathizing with my situation, and gave great advice. The videos are of superb quality, concise and clear – there’s no fluff or time wasting, David gets straight to the point, explains very clearly each topic, and gives multiple examples to back up his statements.

One example is explaining why small talk is not “useless” as I always dread small talk, but rather a quick signal to let others know that you’re friendly and open, which makes you much more interesting and approachable. And understanding that still might make you uncomfortable, especially in a large crowd of strangers, just smiling helps when people pass by, and you might actually strike up a conversation when someone approaches you, and introduces themselves to you. Each video lasts around 5 mins, but packed with a lot of information and actionable steps that you can use right away.

To make sure that we’ve understood the ideas in videos, we engage in written exercises, commenting below to other subscribers. One such exercise is to share something about yourself that is personal but non-threatening, one example is talking about a movie you watched, which is a good icebreaker.

David discusses multiple techniques on how to be engaging, and I got excited about practicing these strategies, that for the first time in my life, I was excited to attend a social event!

Five stars at least – if it can make an extreme introvert like myself WILLING and excited to go out and meet strangers, these courses work!”

“I used to struggle with socializing and felt uncomfortable in social settings. However, after taking this course, I feel like a completely different person. I’m now able to initiate conversations and contribute to group discussions with ease.

One of the most valuable things I learned was how to approach people without coming off as needy. The course taught me the importance of being confident and assertive in my interactions with others. As a result, I’ve been able to form deeper connections with the people in my life.

Overall, I highly recommend this course to anyone who wants to improve their social skills. It’s been a game-changer for me and has helped me become more confident and comfortable in my own skin.”

“So, It’s hard for me to read social rules. I can cover it up in some situations, and do pretty well. But I always was missing the little rules, the ones you don’t HAVE to know for every conversation. The connectors, if you know what I mean. This class spoke about the unspoken rules, and gave PRACTICAL steps to learn them.

I’d just been through a traumatic experience that made me fear most people, and led to completely freezing in public multiple times. A fairly dramatic negative impact on my life. This led to me nearly quitting medical school in my last year.

Following the “homework” from Social Self was hard, but doable even for me. But did it work? Well, one activity was asking people for the time in public for an hour or so, until it wasn’t as scary. Then redo it 3x/week. The science behind it is pretty cool. More cool, though: I reduced my fear of people by about 40% in a month and a half.

That allowed me to graduate.

So yes. It worked.

I’d recommend reading Atomic Habits at the same time, and making a habit of one new thing you learn here every two weeks or so.

I am not a millionaire, but I do have better relationships, more confidence, and did NOT ask for the refund I had planned to while typing in my credit card info. Thank you!”

“I wasn’t a shy kid growing up, but I became very withdrawn around age 12, 13 due to an eating disorder I developed and have been very reserved ever since. I am currently in my first year at university and am trying with some success to overcome my quietness.

I have had a phenomenal experience with the program so far!

All of a sudden, my natural curiosity is leading me to have better conversations with people that we both enjoy. The majority of my relationships are just in the primary phase so far, but I have done many things with people who were just recently strangers.

I have people happy to see me and contacting me again at a later point to continue a conversation we’ve already had (kind of like what you’re doing :)). The best part is, I’m doing basically nothing more than just asking them questions and sharing my opinions. I did not have to change in any way for any of this. IIRI is a magical formula!*

I find that I am so much better in 1-on-1 conversations and even small groups. In large groups, it definitely is harder – just because of the environment – but the changes that are happening in 1-on-1 are definitely moving into group conversations. I find that the unconscious confidence these new “social success” moments I’ve been having lately builds the more they happen, and the more they happen, the easier (and more fun) bigger group conversations get.

I find that people make an effort to talk to me now and ask me how I’m doing. I know that friendships take years to build, but this course definitely is putting me on the fast-track to do so. I now find small-talk with strangers, and bonding 1-on-1, to be effortless. There is a great improvement in group conversations as well.

This course is amazing and I 10/10 recommend it for anyone who has EVER been at a loss at what to say when conversing. This course holds all these social skills so many of us seem to just be missing. Thank you so much, David!

Life is about the connections and relationships you have, and now I know how to have some.”

“Over several years now (maybe five or so), I have seen how everyone around me at my age began hanging out with each other outside of school and in other settings than the classic “stay at a friends place from after school and until they eat dinner”-visits that children often do when they are young. I realized that everyone else went to the cinema, the mall, and when I went to high school, others began going to parties everywhere, while I was just sitting at home, doing my homework and not getting any invitations to any activity with anyone from my class when the school day was over.

Then came a school trip to Florence (I had art classes at high school) two years ago, and I saw even more how everyone had fun in other settings than in a classroom. The one difference between me and everyone else was that everyone else talked to each other, while I always just listened. So I understood that I needed to talk more, just in order to make more connections with people. The problem was that I didn’t know how to talk to people in other ways than just throwing out easy comments like “wonder when they are going to change that light bulb” or “that was a nice drawing”. I never got any conversation going, and I felt that no one was interested in me because they didn’t talk to me (and I guess that is true because I didn’t seem like a person that was very interested in any other people, unfortunately).

When I started at university last year, I already knew that I would need to make friends fast, because if not, everyone would start forming groups while I stood outside. The problem was that I wasn’t included, even though I walked around with them and went to every social event during that first ‘buddy week’. I decided that I needed better social skills because the way things always seemed to end was heartbreaking. I felt that no one I met wanted to include me, and I didn’t understand why. The only way to understand it and fix it is to gain access to their groups, and the only way to do that would be to improve my social skills.

I was at this birthday party last weekend, and I had a slight fear that I would just sit by and listen to everyone else talking. What happened, though, when I started talking and asking questions to the one sitting next to me, was that I focused on him and asked further questions about what he said. I started drawing connections to my own life, and he seemed more interested in talking to me. More people joined, and we ended up discussing things that had happened that week and when the group conversation ended, I was able to continue talking to one of the others.

Now, I have understood the profound meaning of me asking them questions and be more interested in their lives. That makes conversations go easier. But it’s still hard. Especially when I have been that one labeled “the silent one” in almost every setting. The last big challenge is to get other people interested in talking to me. It’s much easier now, but it still needs a bit of practicing.

My new knowledge has made me more active in social life. I make contact with people I see. Before, I could meet a group of people I knew at a place and be with them, expecting to be included simply because I was in their vicinity. Now, I understand that I need to take part in what they are talking about. I try to talk more with them, and I try to be the one who takes the first step, initiating a talk or sending a message, and ask them about where to meet, when, and so on.”