How to Build Real Connections Faster
"When I knew what to talk about, my friendships started taking off"
Get Past the Surface Level
Why do some take years to build close friendships while others do it in weeks?
The key lies in moving beyond small talk to truly get to know each other.
"Just Ask Questions" and "Just Talk to People" usually doesn't work
Most advice on how to build connections with people doesn’t work.
If we just “ask more questions”, we might end up in the listener’s trap. If we try to talk more about ourselves, people tend to zone out. If we try to “Just talk to people”… well, that never lead anywhere for me.
There has to be a better way.
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Our Students Tend to Feel Like...
- It takes too long to get close to people (and in the meantime others seem to make friends in short time)
- They’re tired of the “polite small talk”-stage
- Letting someone in too close gets uncomfortable
- It’s hard to know who to trust enough to open up to
- They want to make close friends but they don’t want to be vulnerable (good news – they don’t have to)
Introducing Fast Friend Protocol
FFP is about building close connections faster – without being vulnerable, overly social, or turning into someone we’re not.
This program is designed to help us:
- Expand our friend-making skills with to-the-point lessons in a few minutes a day.
- Knowing what to say to make a friendship move forward
- Carrying engaging conversations with people, even if we usually don’t really know what to say
- Making close friends without having to be vulnerable. (This comes in handy when we need time to figure out if we can rely on someone.)
Part 1
How to Build Close Friendships
When friendships stall or fizzle out, it might be because conversations feel superficial or unengaging. Here we take surface-level friendships and make them more interesting, exciting, and engaging for both.
Highlights include:
- Tips for deepening friendships with new people
- Using the friendship-time principle to build connections more efficiently
- Knowing when someone can be trusted for a closer friendship
- Approaching conversations after past negative experiences
- Building close friendships by being more authentic and less surface-level
- Avoiding common “friend traps” like interacting only for projects or relying too much on humor to create distance
Day 1
Use the friendship-time principles to make friends more efficiently
Day 2
Know who to trust enough to be close friends with
Day 3
Talking to people when you have had past bad experiences
Day 4
How to use authenticity to connect faster
Day 5
Avoiding using too much humor that keeps people at a distance
Part 2
What to Say to Build Deep Friendships Faster
Part 3
Awkwardness Free Ways to Invite Your Friends to Hang Out
Part 4
Friendship Do’s and Don’ts
Part 5
Navigating Friendship Challenges
See What Our Members Have to Say
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About David Morin
Hi! I’m David, founder of SocialSelf.
When my middle school peers went to school discos, I was at home building model cars.
As I grew older I felt clueless about how to talk to people.
I had some friendships through school, but sometimes they were one-sided and other times toxic.
As an adult I spent lots of weekends alone and the thought of socializing made me anxious.
I felt like I bored people. I got stuck in small talk. I got ignored in groups.
And at the same time, I didn’t want to turn into one of those over-extroverted “party goes” that I associated with socializing.
Out of pure luck, I got to know really socially savvy people that I actually liked.
I studied what they did and realized that you don’t have to be loud and obnoxious or shallow to have a great social life.
You can build close friendships and even enjoy meeting new people – while being yourself more than ever!
When I started figuring this out, people began asking me for advice. And that’s how SocialSelf started, over 12 years ago!
It’s so cool to get out of bed every morning and read emails from people who thank us for their new, more fulfilling social lives. And if this program makes a big change in your life too, I‘d be so happy to hear from you!
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You Get All This
- 24 lessons designed to advance personal relationships
- At-home exercises for intuitively knowing how to move friendships forward
- Access to all program updates
Course Details:
- Course length: 4 weeks, 10-15 minutes per day
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