FAQ: How to Deepen Your Friendships

You can deal with this on your own. I did. It’s possible, but it takes time. I, for example, spent 8 years of trial and error to get to a level I was satisfied with.

Taking one of our courses is like pressing a fast-forward button. Our courses contain a proven system you can follow that tells you exactly what to do. It’s created by someone who’s been where you are and understand your struggles and challenges.  Our courses contain the very system I wish I had 8 years ago.

Would I have been willing to pay money for it? Yes. If I had the ability back then to fast-track 8 years, it would have been worth more than all the money in the world to me.

There are so many obvious mistakes and so much needless pain and rejection going through this alone. Those who participate in our courses have decided to learn from my mistakes instead of treading water on their own.

Even for people who are several years behind, our courses give the opportunity to make a giant leap to close the gap. (Read here about when you can expect to see results) Many of our participants even decide to go further. They use their motivation to rise above what most people can only dream about.

“The thing that got me from a socially anxious person to being the most connected person at work now is doing a lot of reading, which is how I found your course, and your research was the eventual turning point I would say in my personality.”

Prakhar V, 26

With all the free advice out there, how come everyone isn’t walking around as a social genius?

Because more advice doesn’t make us better. Our courses aren’t “advice-bombs”. Here’s what we do differently to give you results:

1. Instead of just “more information” we help you set up a system for how to improve in real life. We don’t try to give you “all the advice you might possibly need”. Instead, we hand-pick and streamline the information and methods that are important to YOUR social success.
2. With our recordings and analysis of actual social interaction, you get real-world experience that no blog post or book can give you.
3. Signing up for our courses means becoming part of our big community with hundreds of members. Whenever you feel stuck or want to discuss something, you get help from me, Viktor, and all our participants who are sharing your journey.
4. Our material is scientifically based, optimized for results, based on thousands of surveys, created together with a behavioral scientist and finally tested by a team of beta testers.

Advice can be good sometimes. We give a lot of advice in our free material so you can decide if our way of doing things works for you before you spend a penny. But when you’re ready to create a big change in your life, you don’t want more advice, but a proven system that slingshots you to where you want to be.

If you’re tired of “more advice”, you’re just like me. I give an answer to this question in the step above (“Why pay for a course like this when there’s an ocean of free advice out there?”)

There are many differences between cultures. Generally speaking, Americans are more extroverted than Asians. South American cultures are often more expressive than West Europeans.^(ref)

We’ve made sure to take this into account designing our courses, and the results from all over the world show that we’ve succeeded:

I’ve personally used the methods we teach with great success in the US, Thailand, China, France, Spain, UK, and Sweden. More importantly, our thousands of participants from all over the world report amazing results.

The reason is the same for why our courses work for different ages and genders: Different ages, genders, and cultures all have different norms. But the underlying human psychology is universal.

Here’s what some of our participants from different corners of the world have to say:

I was thrilled to see that I could have fun in just a few minutes with a complete stranger, and exchange on our experiences, lives, passions and so on.

Hugo, Bordeaux, France.

…for probably the first time that I remember I stopped feeling insanely awkward around someone I didn’t really know at all…

Sven, Germany

Group projects are now fun instead of dreadful and the relationships I’m building are growing outside of school as well.

Riley, Calgary, Canada

[…] I can honestly say that it is truly changing my life for the better

John Claveria, Philippines

I was free. In year 2 and during that summer I had people commenting on how outgoing and confident I was (even how much I talk). I was in my element, I was embodying it

Joshua, London, UK

[…] one thing it has done is completely eliminated awkward moments. And because I’m not putting on a mask, it’s not at all tiring.

Rakesh, India

Now I’m outgoing, social and generally easy to talk to. What I learned is that change is possible!

William, Irvine, California, USA

I have been implementing your ideas, and it has changed my life in such a positive way.

Rachel, Australia

Now I know that I can make a difference in people’s lives just by connecting with them and sharing what I am.

Estuardo Paz, Guatemala

[…] that’s so much more profound than I thought when I dreamed of a silver bullet to solve my conversation dead ends.

Bianca Gelli, Brazil

I do really like the fact that I am (now) able to hold a conversation.

Theodor, Norway

I have to congratulate you and Viktor. Some of the things you teach give what I call “aha moments” or “make me see the matrix”.

Richard, Portugal

References: Triandis, Harry C. (1994) Culture and Social Behavior. McGraw-Hill College.

The majority of our participants are between 20 and 50 years old. The youngest is 18 years old and the oldest 75. Human psychology is very much the same no matter your age. We’ve had beta testers and participants of older courses of all ages reporting great results.

Below, I picked out a few testimonials from participants of varying ages. Notice how the youngest one is 18 years old and the oldest one is 75 years old. That’s a 57-year difference! This shows that our courses work no matter what your age is.

I am an older woman who was born in England & migrated to Australia in 1963 with my husband & 3 small children. My husband was a very outgoing character who had no fears or worries about relating to anyone or anything. I was ultra-reserved & well accustomed to keeping to myself, totally scared of people & relationships. I could hide behind that outgoing partner, & did, all the time, for 25 years. Once our children left home there was very little of a relationship between those 2 disparate people & the marriage ended.

I am so happy with what I’ve learned from you, including that I feel a strongly growing sense of belonging to humanity instead of being an outcast! Your personal quick responses are part of this, too. I feel supported by you, thank you. So I’m super keen to continue with the Course

Christina Beaumont, Australia 75

This is sooo good! And don’t forget – your often simple, but brilliant advice can be used by us, who have left the youth! I really wish I had been given so much good advice 20-30 years ago.

Mary Anne, 47

I have more friends in my youth group than I thought I was capable of making. I’m still shy and all of that, but I have definitely changed. Thank you so much! I filled this out so you would know how your blog and guides have really changed my social life. Thank you! (I’m now private schooled and in all honors classes and slowly making friends there as well. 🙂 Once again, thank you!

Kaitlind,Corona, CA, USA, 18

All our courses are tested on people from all walks of life. Our participants are between the ages of 18 to 75. They are people from all over the world from different cultures with different careers and lifestyles.

Some of them would mainly like to be more confident in social settings. Others would like to be better at bonding with people they come across. Some of them would like to have a better career, live in a larger house, have a bigger paycheck, or have a better physique. Some want to be better in networking and business and career. Still, they’ve had great results with our courses, due to the extensive testing we do.

These people all have one thing in common. They’re quite thoughtful and tend to overthink in social settings. If you can relate to this, I am confident that this course will work for you, no matter your specific situation.

If it turns out the course wasn’t right for you, you can use our 60 days 100% money-back guarantee. You get a full refund up to 60 days after you bought the course.

In this course, you won’t just get “more advice”. No advice in the world helps if you blank out in conversations (because in those situations, the brain doesn’t work like it’s supposed to do anyway).

What you DO need is a small set of precise and powerful mindsets. As these mindsets become second nature to you, you will notice how you’ll no longer blank out. You’ll be able to think more clearly in social settings.

One example of such a mindset change is the OFC-coaching method I emailed you a video about a while back. There, we hooked up a participant to a stress monitor and showed that we could cut her stress levels in half after just 5 minutes of coaching. One mindset change like that is worth more than a thousand well-meant advice. However, in our courses we have the time and resources to go even deeper than the OFC-method and get even more impressive results.

If blanking out is your problem, this course will be a perfect fit for you.

This is my favorite question to answer. People often think that being social is about being one of those annoying, shallow people you see on the TV commercials for beer.

To me (and to our participants) being socially skilled is the opposite: It’s about getting away with being who you WANT to be because people will like you anyway.

We teach you how to be yourself and get away with it, even if you, like me, have a quirky personality and humor. When you master the foundations of bonding with people, that’s when you’re able to “get away” with being who you want to be.

At that point, you don’t have to “put on a mask to fit in” or feeling like you have to compromise yourself.
Here’s what some participants write:

[…] I end up feeling empathetic, less concerned with how I look, more interested in the other person, and naturally more confident and good in conversation.”

Mateen

“… From this point, I quit putting any pressure on myself and soon my interactions started to become much more natural. I spent more time doing the things I love, and going out with people I appreciate.”

Hugo, Bordeaux, France

The most common reasons we lose our motivation are the following:

1. It feels like we won’t succeed
2. We don’t see enough results
3. Something gets too hard

That’s why we’ve designed the course in the following way:

1. It clearly shows you how you can succeed
2. You’ll see the initial results quickly
3. The exercises are fun and motivating, not hard

This is the reason the majority of our participants feel highly motivated throughout the course.

Remember, if it turns out you aren’t able to complete the course, you can use our 60 days 100% money-back guarantee. You get a full refund up to 60 days after you bought the course.

You can take the course at whatever pace that fits you. If you are unable to attend for a period of time, you can just start off where you left. The only one setting the pace is you. We give you the tools and the support you need to achieve the goals you set for yourself.

This course is the result of hundreds of survey responses, dozens of hours of phone interviews, and months of beta testing. Our participants are 18-75 years old and from all over the world.

What these people have in common is that they describe themselves as social overthinkers. If you identify with being a social overthinker, you can be confident that this course is for you.

If it turns out the course still wasn’t what you were looking for, you can use our 60 days 100% money-back guarantee. You get a full refund up to 60 days after you bought the course.

A “theme” I recognized whenever I was thinking about committing to a book or a course was a voice in my head telling me things like:

“- But I should try that technique I read about last week first”
“- I should get X handled first”
“- I should get Y finished first”
“- I need to come to terms with my mental baggage first”
“- I should free up more time first”
“-I need to get my ducks in a row”

Truth is, the time will never be perfect. If you wait for things to be perfect, life is what happens while you make up plans. You want to prioritize a great social life sooner rather than later because when you do, everything in life gets both easier and more fun.

You want to ask yourself: I’ve been walking this planet for X years, and I’m still not where I want to be. Should I continue like I’ve done before and hope to one day figure this all out on my own, or is now the time to start following a proven system to get this handled?

This is a course on how to deepen friendships. There will be no “pick up-openers” or similar techniques. However, what you WILL learn is a natural way to make yourself more interesting to people including those you are attracted to. You will be more at ease and more confident in conversations and know what to talk about. This will make you more self-confident and more attractive. This is why our participants have such great results when it comes to dating and romantic partners.

Here’s what Justin from the Netherlands writes:

I just walked up to the girl I like for soooo long. It was a huge step, but I had the confidence and knowledge of what to talk about. If I hadn’t had this course, I would never dare to talk to her.

– Justin in Maastricht, Netherlands

Yes! This course is designed with anxiety in mind and works both if you have mild, moderate or severe social anxiety. If you have clinical social anxiety we recommend that you seek appropriate care from medical professionals. A medical professional can help you with the anxiety part, but most likely not the conversation skills part. Therefore, some of those with social anxiety who join our courses see it as a great complement to therapy.

Here are some testimonials from participants who suffered from social anxiety.

“The thing that got me from a socially anxious person to being the most connected person at work now is doing a lot of reading, which is how I found your course (and your research was the eventual turning point I would say in my personality).”

Prakhar V, 26

“The breakthrough way that you have helped me is when you told me to focus my attention on other people thus away from myself.

I had never realised that my awkwardness or anxiety was rooted by me being self-conscious and my constantly thinking about how I look and how I come across in social situation and I always used to attempt to show myself in a good light.

You advice had helped me liberate myself from this anxiety from social situations. Also, the statistics that show others are also anxious had increased my confidence in initiating conversation as before I assumed they just didn’t like me.”

Armaan Chana, London, UK

Yes! All our courses are tailored to also help shy people feel comfortable in social settings. Look at some of the testimonials from previously shy people:

“I love that as you say it’s not the usual approach 10 strangers. Most shy or introverted people would die a little inside just thinking of doing that.”

Dawn T

“Throughout most of my life I had terrible social skills. Whenever someone tried to converse with me I would be so shy that I would either give one word answers that don’t really contribute or further the conversation, or I would basically ignore them which made me come off as kinda strange.

This really hurt because inside I actually wanted to talk with people, I just had no idea what people talked about or what the flow of normal conversation was like.

Recently I’ve been going back to school to try and improve my career situation. At first I was incredibly nervous because of the social situations that I would be forced into like group projects, and I didn’t want to come off as the strange quiet guy like I was through my past experiences. I have seen a very positive outcome in my social life.

Group projects are now fun instead of dreadful and the relationships I’m building are growing outside of school as well.”

Riley, Alberta, Canada

Here’s a realization that has helped me a lot in life:

When you deal with businesses (like employers, or customers, or business networks) they are still humans. That means that the same principles that help us bond with someone in private will help us bond with someone in business.

Some get into this weird stiff persona whenever they interact with businesses. But you still want to be easy-going, confident and warm, just like when talking to non-business people.

This course helps you do that.

Little did I understand how powerful the principles here were for business success. When I first started networking around the time of my first company, I didn’t do particularly well. As a result, I lost out on a lot of business opportunities. Nowadays, I have the ability to bond quickly with anyone. That has helped me build up a big business network and have contacts I never would have had otherwise.

“The thing that got me from a socially anxious person to being the most connected person at work now is doing a lot of reading, which is how I found your course, and your research was the eventual turning point I would say in my personality.”

Prakhar V, 26

No. We don’t believe that is an effective method of improving. We’ve tried it, but our experience confirmed what other studies have shown:

Most people can’t push way out of their comfort zone day after day.

Doing outrageous social stunts doesn’t create long-term change.

Our exercises are designed to be fun and motivating. With our system, based on the latest findings in behavioral science, you can practice new mindsets and behaviors in social settings without doing something that others think is weird (or even notice you doing).

This is an online course that takes 5 weeks to complete. You can access the course on your computer, your tablet or smartphone.

The course is divided into 5 chapters. I explain all the concepts in clear and easy-to-understand videos.

Together with the videos, you’ll get exercises that’ll help you turn this into actual change in your life. For each lesson, there is a comment area where you’ll be able to discuss the material with both us and others.

Our participants spend roughly 2 hours per week of studying the material. Then, they used their everyday social interactions to think about what they’d learned. A social interaction can be anything from the cashier to family or friends. The duration of the course is 5 weeks.

Yes, you’re a bit weird for taking a course like this. But (just like me), you’re weird in a good way.

You see, when I told people that I wanted to become better socially, some thought that I was weird. But to me, it’s even weirder to NOT try to improve all areas of who we are. I figured that I only have this one life, and why not make the most out of it and be the best I can be?

If someone thinks I’m weird, that is a prize I’m more than willing to pay for the amazing life I’m able to live today: I can bond with people fast. I have wonderful friends. I have a huge social circle. I can do the things I love every day.

Maybe you’re not sure if this course is right for you. I encourage you to try it, because I see how it changes people’s lives for good. But if you decide not to, at least take this with you: Never keep yourself from doing things in life because you’re afraid that someone will think you’re weird. This is actually one of the top regrets people have on their deathbed:

“Regret #6: Worrying about what others thought about me so much. Most of us place way too much importance on what other people around us think about us. How will they judge us? In the moment, we think their opinions are crucial to our future success and happiness. On our deathbeds, none of that matters.”

The 25 most common deathbed regrets – Forbes Magazine

To today’s date, over 118 000 thoughtful, smart overthinkers who want to improve socially have taken our free training. So even if we’re a bit weird, we all share an ambition to become better socially.

My life philosophy is to not walk around life fearing if doing this or that makes us weird. Instead, I try to always do what I know is the right thing to do.

This is not a live course. You take the course through our website. You’ll be taking the course together with haundreds of others and can get inspired and motivated by them. But if you want to do the course at your own pace and without the involvement of others, that works great too!