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How to Connect Without Pretending

(Without Playing Roles, People-Pleasing, Or Exhausting Performances)

Being Real Course Image

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“SocialSelf stands apart”
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“SocialSelf stands apart”
Daniel Wendler, Psy.D Author, founder of 1.2M subreddit Socialskills, 2x TEDx speaker
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1M+ members have joined SocialSelf
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600 000 people read SocialSelf’s advice each month
SocialSelf has been featured in TIME, WebMD, Yahoo, MSN, Chicago Tribune, Business Insider, The Hill, and Healthline SocialSelf has been featured in TIME, WebMD, Yahoo, MSN, Chicago Tribune, Business Insider, The Hill, and Healthline
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I was surprised how helpful this course was for me!

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Very helpful course in short videos. I actually am fairly social and don't have trouble interacting with people from a variety of backgrounds...


Beth Yeg

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Amazing course!!!you can see the…

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Amazing course!!!you can see the results immediately!


Yulia Oleynik

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i really like the clever way of putting real life examples

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well beside all the knowledge that i acquired from the course, i really like the clever way of putting real life examples


Jose Cascone

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Great Course, good strategies

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This course is a perfect guide to improve work relationships. I never was a very social person in work environment


Diego Verde

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Lots of new and interesting insights…

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Lots of new and interesting insights into behaviours and attitudes I haven't heard else where.


Justin Tan

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Simple, actionable advice...

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High production values and appreciated the short-form video content


Donnacha MacAodhagáin - Trustpilot

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It reminded me to be socially savvy…

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Through the example of coming up with questions by watching movies


Jared Hernandez

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Very good course for someone like me…

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Very good course for someone like me who want to improve talking but don’t like talking much too.


CH

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A life-changing program that truly works

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The SocialSelf courses have been transformational for me.


Vitaly

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Great advice and motivation!

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I think the course has valuable information and advice


Andrés

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Socializing really is a skill you can…

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Socializing really is a skill you can improve on...


Devareaux Howser

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Great to improve your conversations

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I did the course Conversation Confidence. It's very practical...


Alexandre

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It's never too late to learn more about conversations.

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I really enjoyed learning about the mechanics of a conversation...


Betsy Pajevski

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Great course overall

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Overall, this course was super helpful for me...


Luke Allis

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I am very impressed!

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I have learned so many skills from the Social Self courses.


Leonarda

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From afraid to peaceful and happy

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It helped me getting confidence and more comfortable


FV

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One of the BEST online course on Earth!!!!

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It has been a very positive experience going through


Bovey

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Healing Experience with Social Self :)

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Social Self has been wonderful for me personally


Nikki Williams

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I wish I could of knew about SocialSelf long ago

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I wish I could of knew about SocialSelf sooner in life.


Kamaron Greene

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Sometimes details make the difference

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You add just a question to your conversation...


Eri Jola

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Thank you so much

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Thank you so much, David and the team for this course! I am...


Anastasiia Tkalich

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Good material great coaches

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Right now, Social Self offers courses you can buy, an online...


Grace

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The program content is amazing

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The program content is amazing and they have...


Faisal Khan

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SocialSelf has been nothing but POSITIVE!!!

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SocialSelf helped me practice my social skills...


Andy Tsung

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Way to go !!

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Social self is a great course for people looking to...


R Deepak

Can you relate to our students' most common struggles?

  • Feeling like every social moment has to be upbeat, entertaining, or perfect—constantly performing until you’re completely exhausted.

  • Putting walls up to avoid feeling flawed or weak in front of others.

  • Switching personalities in different groups and feeling “fake” as a result.

  • Laying in bed at 2 AM, replaying interactions over and over, convinced something small ruined the impression.

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This Program Is For Those of Us Who

  • Feel judged and worry about being rejected because of past bad experiences.

  • Are overly agreeable or people-please to avoid conflict or upsetting others.

  • Run every feeling or reaction through the ‘will this make me look stupid?’ scanner — even something as simple as smiling.

  • Hold back personal stories out of fear they’ll come across as boring.

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79% Report an increase in self-confidence
82% Report an increase in social skills
80% Report feeling less nervous socially
*According to a survey of 819 SocialSelf members

Real Connections - In 10 Minutes Per Day

In 10 minutes a day from the comfort of the couch, Being Real helps you build real, authentic connections that energize rather than exhaust.

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Introducing Being Real: Connecting Without Pretending

Being Real helps us build real connections at our own pace through simple, intuitive lessons.
This program is designed to help us in the following areas:

  • Showing up as our true selves and still being accepted for who we are
  • Feeling energized rather than drained after socializing
  • Socializing without performing or people-pleasing
  • Connecting without oversharing or feeling vulnerable—whether with new people, different friend groups, or in professional settings
  • Moving past surface-level politeness and developing authenticity instead
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Part 1

Course Curriculum

Hide breakdown

End the performance exhaustion, connect without wearing different masks for different people, and finally feel free to be genuine while making deeper friendships.

Topics include:

  • The “Connection Paradox”: Why hiding flaws just to be liked actually makes people less likeable—and the exact way to show imperfections that draws others in
  • How to use Social Tuning to stay authentic while adapting to different groups (without feeling fake or exhausted afterwards)
  • Why sharing certain things makes people trust and remember us (but sharing other things push them away)
  • “Outward Focus”: The mental shift that stops anxious self-monitoring by getting absorbed in what others are saying—ending the exhausting inner critic
  • “Conversation Baiting”: How to turn boring small talk into topics that actually matter—without seeming pushy
  • How to handle the secret fear that judgment will expose something fundamentally wrong (and when this fear is false)
  • How to get permanent, life-long results
Day 1
How to stop the exhausting performance and finally feel energized after socializing.
Day 2
Breaking free from the fear that people will discover something “wrong” inside.
Day 3
The simple way to adapt to different groups without becoming a social chameleon.
Day 4
How to show small imperfections that make people trust and connect instantly.
Day 5
Shifting from self-monitoring to genuine curiosity about others.
Day 6
Testing and dismantling the belief that flaws are visible and devastating.
Day 7
Turning boring small talk into conversations that actually matter to everyone.
Day 8
Finding the 2-3 core traits that stay consistent and build real trust.
Day 9
Why hiding to be liked backfires—and what to reveal instead.
Day 10
Making conversations flow by treating people like fascinating puzzles.
Day 11
How to share authentically without oversharing or triggering vulnerability hangovers.
Day 12
Breaking the people-pleasing pattern while still maintaining warm connections.
Day 13
Creating safety to drop the mask in work, family, and social settings.
Day 14
Toward life-long results.

See What Our Members Have to Say

“I feel like a completely different person” “I used to struggle with socializing and felt uncomfortable in social settings. However, after taking this course, I feel like a completely different…” Read moreAnthony, 32
Product Manager
North Carolina, USA
“One of the most valuable investments you can make in yourself” “I feel like the course provided some grounded truths that I had been blind to before…” Read moreBridget Viernes, 31
Teacher
USA
“I highly recommend this course” “I completed the course and found it to be incredibly valuable. It covered a wide range of topics, including effective communication, active listening…” Read moreWallace Rangel, 40
Civil Servant
Brazil
“I’ve felt uncomfortable socially my whole life.” “I have avoided making connections with people. And it has resulted in me not having any friends…” Read moreLorena Hernandez, 23
Doctor Assistant
California, USA
“I felt like there was no hope for me, but it’s amazing to see the progress I’ve made.” “I’ve been quiet for as long as I can remember. Not until middle school did I start…” Read moreJerry Finn, 28
Web Developer
Arkansas, USA
“I really wish I had come across this when I was young” “I am a little older than most people taking this course, (late 50s) but it’s never too late…” Read moreLindy, 58
Musician
Canada

About David Morin

David A. Morin featured in Entrepreneur Magazine

Hi! I’m David, founder of SocialSelf.

When my middle school peers went to school discos, I was at home building model cars.

As I grew older I felt clueless about how to talk to people.

I had some friendships through school, but sometimes they were one-sided and other times toxic.

As an adult I spent lots of weekends alone and the thought of socializing made me anxious.

I felt like I bored people. I got stuck in small talk. I got ignored in groups.

And at the same time, I didn’t want to turn into one of those over-extroverted “partygoers” that I associated with socializing.

Out of pure luck, I got to know really socially savvy people that I actually liked.

I studied what they did and realized that you don’t have to be loud and obnoxious or shallow to have a great social life.

You can build close friendships and even enjoy meeting new people – while being yourself more than ever!

When I started figuring this out, people began asking me for advice. And that’s how SocialSelf started, over 12 years ago!

It’s so cool to get out of bed every morning and read emails from people who thank us for their new, more fulfilling social lives. And if this program makes a big change in your life too, I‘d be so happy to hear from you!

Try it For 15 Days Risk Free

No need to say YES right now. Just say MAYBE. Go through the materials for 15 days risk-free from the day of purchase.

No emails, no phone calls, no hassle. Just click Refund on your account page and get a full, friendly and fast refund. No questions asked.

Everything Needed to Build Real Connections Without Pretending

Feel comfortable being yourself around others, stop overthinking how to act, open up naturally, and build deeper friendships without feeling fake or emotionally drained.

Being Real: Connecting Without Pretending
Authentic Connection
$97

Being Real: Connecting Without Pretending

Learn how to stop hiding behind a social mask, feel safe opening up, and build genuine connections while still feeling accepted for who you are.

Deepen Your Friendships
Meaningful Friendships
$497

Deepen Your Friendships

Move beyond surface-level conversations, feel emotionally closer to people, and create stronger friendships that feel real and lasting.

Conversation Confidence
Conversation Confidence
$97

Conversation Confidence

Feel more relaxed in conversations, stop overthinking what to say, and build the confidence to connect naturally without awkwardness taking over.

Lifetime Community Access
Ongoing Support
$99

Lifetime Access to Member Community

Get support, encouragement, accountability, and feedback from others working toward building authentic confidence and deeper connections.

TOTAL VALUE
$790
Invest in Being Real Today For Only
$790 $197

You Get All This

What’s included in your program:

  • Our unique system for connecting as your true self
  • Exercises designed to help you end performance exhaustion when socializing
  • Lifetime access to all updates

Course Details:

  • 10 minutes a day for 2 weeks. Self-paced.
  • One-time payment gives lifetime access to the course
  • 15-day 100% money-back guarantee. Click refund on your account page – no questions asked

Sign Up Today For:

$790$197

One-time payment. 15-day money-back guarantee.

Get Instant Access

Secure PayPal / Credit Card Payment.

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Frequently asked questions

What if I have a hard time keeping focus or reading people's intent?

For our members who have a hard time keeping focus or reading people’s social intent, this training is usually a game changer: It provides a clear framework that makes socialize feel less chaotic (and thereby less exhausting.)

What’s the difference between this training and free advice?

Free tips are everywhere, but too much advice can get overwhelming and even confusing.

This training goes beyond general tips, offering specific steps to practice at home until we intuitively know what to do in the “real world”.

Plus, you’ll join a group of people working on the same thing, which can be motivating and supportive, and create accountability.

You can try out the program, and get a full refund if you don’t see a powerful difference in daily conversations and connections.

Will this training work in different countries and cultures?

Yes! People from all over the world have found these strategies helpful. While each culture is unique, the core ideas are meant to work across different social styles. 

Some of our members have recently moved to a new country and are looking for a boost to get into this new culture. They find this training very helpful.

What if I get nervous only in certain situations?

This training covers a range of common social situations – speaking to a coworker we usually get stuck in awkward small talk with, ending up next to someone at an event, doing better on job interviews, getting to know someone you like, meeting people in a cafe. 

It’s helpful for people who sometimes feel awkward or overthink social interactions.

Does age matter for this training?

Beneath the surface, how humans connect is surprisingly similar across ages.

The majority of our members are 25 to 45 years old, but the training works well for all ages, with participants ranging from young adults to seniors.

What if nervousness makes it hard to know what to say?

Then you’re in the right place, since this is exactly what our training helps people overcome! 

The training offers simple strategies to help with feeling mentally “stuck” in conversations.

You get to practice at home until you’re ready for the real world.

Over time, these methods can make it easier to stay present and find things to say.

Can this help with work situations like networking, job interviews, and career?

Yes, these ideas apply in both personal and professional settings.

Sometimes, social skills can be even more important to one’s career than learning a new hard skill.

The training can be helpful for feeling more relaxed when meeting new people and creating trust and like, whether for social reasons or for business.

Will this training help me talk to someone I like?

Yes, this program is helpful to our members who get extra uncomfortable talking to someone they like.

Some who in the past couldn’t get past the “polite surface level” were able to deepen their conversations, express themselves in an attractive and authentic way, and thereby build a connection beyond friendship. 

This program is valuable for someone seeking to create new friendships as for someone seeking to go beyond friendship.

Do I have to talk to strangers as part of the training?

No, there won’t be any “get up and talk to 10 strangers” exercises here! (Simply because those exercises are too difficult to stick to).

Our exercises are designed to be achievable, even for those who feel uncomfortable socializing and not wanting to step far outside their comfort zone.

The focus is on gradual, natural practice.

Why should I join a training for talking to people? Shouldn’t this come naturally?

While some people are naturally comfortable in social settings, others aren’t—and that’s completely normal. 

Most people’s behavior is a result of conditioning from when they grew up. Now that we’re adults, we can decide to change that conditioning. And a training program can be a great guide for this. 

It’s not about turning into someone else, quite the opposite actually! It’s about having the social skills and confidence to express who we are.

How does the training work? Is it self-paced?

The training is online and self-paced, with five sections that include short videos and easy exercises. 

There’s also a comment section and community forums to connect with others taking the course if you want.

How much time will it take each day?

Most people spend around 5–10 minutes per day on the course material.

You’ll get the most out of it by trying out what you learn in daily interactions.

What if this training doesn’t feel right for me?

There’s a 15-day refund policy. If you don’t see real world results, go to the account page and process a refund with just a few clicks. No human interaction is needed and no questions are asked. And in case you have any questions, reach us at [email protected]